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Fr. Stephen Gadberry on Faith, Prayer, Forgiveness and His Journey From Airman to Priest | Security Halt! Podcast Ep. 460
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How do you build a stronger relationship with God when life is filled with noise, distractions, struggles, and doubt?
In this episode, Fr. Stephen Gadberry shares his journey from military service to the Catholic priesthood and the lessons he has learned about faith, silence, prayer, reconciliation, and spiritual discipline.
From learning to sit quietly with God to praying for the people who have hurt us, Fr. Gadberry offers practical ways to develop a deeper spiritual life. He also addresses shame, feelings of unworthiness, confession, forgiveness, and why faith—like every other meaningful part of life—requires intentional practice.
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Chapters:
00:00 Meet Fr. Stephen Gadberry
01:55 From Military Service to the Priesthood
04:07 Leaning Into the Cross
06:01 Shame, Unworthiness and Confession
08:11 Why Silence Is Essential to Prayer
12:02 Starting Your Week With Faith
15:56 Discerning God's Call
19:59 Praying for Your Enemies
24:03 Making Time for Adoration
28:01 Practical Steps for Returning to Faith
33:12 Finding Your Spiritual Wingmen
36:54 Confession, Reconciliation and Healing
41:00 Community, Conflict and Respect
44:02 Seeing the Suffering in Others
47:54 Silence, Prayer and Daily Discipline
52:05 Moving Beyond Shame and Accepting Forgiveness
55:03 Final Thoughts With Fr. Stephen Gadberry
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Military Structure And The Hard Exit
SPEAKER_02Get there, the military really kind of structures that for them and then gives them these boundaries that they live in, and then they just run like wild forces. And then at the end of the military, it's kinda like the salute and carry on and say, okay, into the world with nothing. Like and a lot of guys crash and burn, not because they're losers, not because they're bad people, but because like their current mindset that they that they were developed in over the last number of years has is in some ways been ripped away from them. I mean, same uniform every day, three meals at a set time. You have your cell or your room where you sleep, your bunk, you're in the trenches with other guys, you're marching along, you got morning prayer, you got evening prayer, you've got mass, you've got school.
SPEAKER_01It's so structured. You get out, you don't have any of that. And uh, that's one of the small little things that faith has given me back in my life. Like we short circuit and get that feedback
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Welcome Father Gadbury And Testimony
SPEAKER_01Father Gadbury, thank you so much for joining us today. Um, if you if you guys haven't seen this face around social media or on other podcasts, uh then uh you're in for a treat. And uh I am just I'm thrilled, man. This is the highlight of my month having you on here today.
SPEAKER_02Hey Denny, thanks for the invite, man. It's um life's so fun. It's an adventure, it's ups and downs, and it's always fun to to meet people on the way. So it's a it's a joy to meet you. Thanks for inviting me to just have this conversation with you.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Like I was telling you uh a little bit earlier, but we before we started recording, um, there's a there's moments when I book somebody to come on the show that I'm just like, you do the the the fist pumps and the high fives. And but this one I like yell the cross and I grab uh got the attention of my wife. I'm like, babe, get over here. Look who's coming on the show. Because for us, like, you know, it is it is huge to be able to have somebody that I we can dive in that can bring more more of a spotlight, more of a true testimony of what it means to come to the church uh now more than ever. As I as I shared with you before we started, and I'm not perfect, I'm a heavily flawed man. And before I came to the church, I was living what I thought was my ultimate calling, being a green beret. And when that got removed from me, when that wasn't going to be my future, I quickly I fell apart. And I was, you know, a lot of us are in that journey. We think that it's mind, body will get us through anything, but it's that final pillar, that faith pillar that, as I'm a test my testimony uh recently is it's the one thing that can carry us through all these things in life. But uh highlighting your journey and being able to talk about what it's like to be completely 100% committed to this journey uh from your perspective, from your life, that's what I want to dive into today.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we we can jump into
Finding Christ Through The Cross
SPEAKER_02it. Of course, it's I'm I am a Catholic priest and live in Arkansas, born and raised here. Um, and just for unfortunately, for so long, religion and the faith life and people's journey with Christ has was was and in many ways still is oversentimentalized and too passive and and too kind of emotional. Those things are part of it. You know, we can't separate all our feelings and emotions and thoughts and dreams from who we are. But at the core of it, at the core of uh the life with Christ is the cross, the crucifixion, the death, and the resurrection. And and I think there is a resurgence in people leaning into the cross, realizing that their life is so full of crosses, so full of challenges. And it's it's a lie that we believe that that we have to overcome our crosses before we get to before we can come to Jesus. But it's actually through the cross and on the cross that we find Jesus. And so whenever we can lean into that, that brutal part of life, like that's a privileged place of encounter with the Lord. So that's a big part of my ministry. That's what I just try to try to lean into.
Why Confession Heals
SPEAKER_01I love that um because that's very much something that I I struggle with, and a lot of my brothers do, um, that we can't be part of this, that it can't be part of our lives because we're we're not good enough for it. That it's it's not uh, you know, we we put it out, we look at it as something that we're not deserving of. And but we also struggle with things like, well, I'm not gonna go to confession. That man's not gonna know anything about what it takes to do what I do downrange. That's not for me. And uh that was my hang up. And let me tell you, what's my favorite thing? What's the one thing that has helped me the most? Confession. That's been the most healing part of the journey. And for me, like, I remember being really angry one day, going to church, and my wife's like, What's what's going on? I'm like, I'm confessing the same thing over and over again, and I'm not doing anything. I'm not really being intentional with this, these problems that I'm really bringing in there. I'm not doing the work. And I just remember sitting there, going back in and having that that conviction to talk about it and be more open to it and having a dialogue with somebody that can give me something back to be like, okay, look, like you're not perfect. You're understanding what's going on. Let's get through this. Like, here's a plan of action. Here are some actual tools you can use right now. Let's let's get through this. And it I I talk about it as as a as a moment of like full awakening and understanding of like, I'm flawed, but I can do better. I know I can do better.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And that that's that's the whole journey with Christ, simple mayor, like which means there's it's always something greater, always something more with the Lord. We can't be stagnant in that journey. And and reconciliation is a key part of that. It's a key part of that journey with Christ. Sin separates us from God, separates us from Christ. Not because he wants to punish us and throw us away, it's because we separate ourselves from God. And our personal relationship with the Lord, when we sin and separated ourselves from him because of sin, it necessarily or consequentially separates us from the body of Christ. And so therefore, that element of reconciliation and our personal relationship with the Lord requires a communal element, which is why we got just the beautiful sacrament of reconciliation to get that healing, reconciliation, just what it means, you know, to be reconciled, to come back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That's that's um that's a beautiful way of putting it, of coming back, being able to understand that no matter how broken or flawed we are, like there's a process, there is something we can do to come back to him. And it's not something that we should shy away and look at our unworthiness as something that should keep us away from him. Be willing to go back, be willing to to take that step. Um, and that's something that I'm seeing a lot more these days, especially on social media. People are willing to put their journeys and be vulnerable enough to share and say, like, hey, this is this is who I am. This is what brought me the faith again, and and this is like the positives is bringing back in my life.
SPEAKER_02You gotta be real. You gotta be real and honest. There's uh we only find God in reality, not in fantasy, and that uh starts in our own you know daily life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
Building Prayer Habits That Stick
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's uh it's remarkable the way that when you're sitting down and being intentional with what you're doing. I think looking back on my own journey, not being uh really in command of my life, letting things happen, uh the importance of like having daily intentional, like making making time for the rosary, being intentional with how you start your day, being focused on something, not just living by the whim and just letting things happen, being intentional with your faith. Like one of the things that I always talk about is like when you go to a treatment center or you go get help, one of the first things they talk about are your habits. The first things they try to address is like, what are you doing in your day-to-day life like that are toxic, that aren't good for you? How can we replace those things with better alternatives? One of the biggest things for me is hitting every morning with the intentional prayer with the rosary, being being able to say, like, before we walk out the door as a family, we do our prayer, we do our blessings, and we take it from there. Just those small little changes, that course correction, like it puts you in a more intentional path.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02It's brutal. I mean, uh, of course, I'm in the ministry business, like I'm a priest, this is what I do. But prayer is brutal a lot of times. I'm not gonna lie. I love the silence, I love the peace, but it's hard. My my monkey brain is going all over the place. I've got a million thoughts, these stuff to do, all these, all these, this just uh smorgish board of things. And in some ways, it's kind of like a detox, a daily detox from from the garbage. And and like you just mentioned, starting the day with that or stopping throughout the day for prayer really gives that clarity, you know. It's like going on a mission before you you you you don't just jump in the convoy and say, all right, guys, let's figure it out on the way. Like you've got a briefing, you you uh departure time, you you got a mission location, you've you've you've got the stuff there, you know. And um you gotta plan through it. The beauty of that, and you know, the military, any productive uh and productive business, any good business, any good organization, something that all of them has is some element of structure. You've got to have order. And and without it, as as we know, just the stuff falls apart. And I think that's one of the things that that hurts a lot of guys when they get out of the military. They they um you know, they they enter as young guys, all this energy, you know, from childhood. Then they get there, the military really kind of like structures that for them and then gives them these boundaries that they live in. And then they just run like wild horses. And then at the end of the military, it's kind of like the salute and then carry on and say, okay, into the world with nothing. Like good luck, figure it out. And and a lot of guys crash and burn, not because they're losers, not because they're bad people, but because their whole like mindset, like their current mindset that they that they were developed in over the last number of years has is in some ways been ripped away from them, you know. And uh like for me, what one of the when I got out of the military, I was in the Air Force for just a few years, did logistics. And um one of the cool things about that, whenever I left and went to seminary, is it's eight years long. It's a lot of schooling. A lot of people have asked, oh, I bet that was really hard. I bet the transition was a challenge. How did you do it, et cetera? And it honestly, it was seamless. I mean, same uniform, same uniform every day, three meals at a set time. You have your cell or your room where you sleep, your bunk, you're in the trenches with other guys, you're marching along, you got morning prayer, you've got evening prayer, you've got mass, you've got school. It's so structured. And and so it was just an easy, really great transition for me.
Discerning A Priest’s Calling
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Because the order I want to dive into that for a little bit because you know, a lot of people have this preconceived notion that, okay, a father, a priest, that was an intention he set early on. He just went right out of high school, went straight into that. You served. You were in the Air Force, you went through a transition. For a lot of us, okay, I'm gonna go to college, I'm gonna do VRE, I'm gonna do the entrepreneurial track. How did you find yourself in this calling, in this way of life, that for a lot of us, like I couldn't, I couldn't imagine what that calling felt like. I couldn't imagine what that drive would be like. Uh and and my nephew's talking about this now. As a little kid, he's talking about it. And I'm like, that is a different wild perspective and wild life that I don't know about. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It uh so I'm I've always been Catholic, but I didn't grow up wanting to be a priest. I was never against it, but it just wasn't something that was on my radar or something. Like it was on my radar, I knew what it was, but uh it didn't seem like what the Lord has called me to do. After high school, uh, went to college for a year, hated it. I worked, you know, worked all through high school, worked after high school, and I loved working. Join the military for really no particular reason. Looking back, I see why the Lord wanted me to go, and I'll get into that in a second. Like actually right now, just the Lord wanted to pull me out of this element that I that I'd grown up in my whole life. Family, community, very tight-knit, very close. Um, and then I go into the military and I'm kind of on my own for the first time in my life. Doing stuff I loved. I've just worked all day, you know, just working like a dog. Absolutely enjoyed it. But being on my own for the first time, it it led me more deeply into silence, into contemplation, into meditation, into introspection and prayer. And uh, the more time I spent in silence, the more time I spent in prayer, this these random ideas of priesthood would come. And I would be on the forklift, I'd be doing a job on a, you know, whatever, whatever it would be. And for no reason at all, for but because of my prompting and nothing, I saw this random idea of priesthood would come. I'd be working in the warehouse, and then out of nowhere, it's like, huh, I wonder what it'd be like to be a priest. And it was just kind of these bizarre ideas at random times. And and then it started seeming like coincidences. And before long, I realized that it was the Lord inviting me. But it stirred mostly through the fact of just increased time and silence. And in the silence, you just hear these little whispers of the heart. And so, so there was that, there was that movement, you know, this tug that you could say in my heart. But one of the things that helped me to discern that was I I loved being in the military. It was so, so fun. Up to the very last day I was in. I absolutely loved it. But what was interesting is that whenever I would think of priesthood and pray about it, go into seminary, go to ministry, I had even more joy. Like it made me even more excited. And so it wasn't one of the things that helped me to discern that that's what God was calling me to do was not desolation, not depression, not anxiety in the military, but quite the opposite. Everything was perfect. But the Lord was saying, hey, here's something even more. Now, it it could be an escape, like if it sucked in the military and I was like, oh, I'm tired of this. I don't want to do this, this is dumb. And then, okay, maybe priesthood is a way out. You know, it would be easy, it could be easy for some people to do that. But for me, it was the opposite. I didn't want to quit the military, but as soon as I, you know, just kept digging more and more into that, more joy came. And so to wrap up that long rambling thing, I think the simplest thing was the Lord's persistence with me. I'm a I'm a stubborn German knucklehead. It's just it's it takes a while to get through my little hard brain. And the Lord was just so gentle with me. Stephen. Stephen, Stephen. And not not imposing himself on me, but gently inviting me into uh into a new mystery. So the Lord's persistence. But so that that was one thing. Then also that was possible. It was possible to hear his voice because of the silence, uh, and then it was affirmed through the joy. So the Lord's persistence was key as the most important thing. He called. But then the two things that I could control were um silence and then being joyful, actually enjoying life, you know, and and and out of that, like those are two key things that anybody can do. You know, it's you don't make yourself happy, obviously, but you can do things to facilitate joy. You know, a lot of times we just choose to be bitter people. I'm guilty of that. And but but also the Lord reminds me, hey, dude, why don't you choose joy? Yeah, life sucks, but sometimes, but also life is great sometimes. It's a it's all the story, it's all the adventure. So just jump in. Silence and joy, those are two things. Yeah, sorry, I could ramble from that. No, that's this is exactly what this is exactly why you're here, Father.
SPEAKER_01This is exactly
Silence And Breaking The Hamster Wheel
SPEAKER_01it. Like, um I I do want to touch on that silence because I I don't think it gets enough focus. Um I'm guilty of it. I I pray for something, I pray for something, I pray for something, and God, angels, and and every everything is working towards it, and I'm not paying attention. I'm not looking at the overall plan, and I'm just over here working against what he's bringing to me. And and then it happens. You you this door closes, or this this idea doesn't pan out, this client doesn't work through, and it's like, woe is me, this is horrible. And then a few weeks go by, and I allow, and and out of that anger and frustration, I do find silence, I do go pray to Rosary, and then this alternative path is right there, and it's like this it's been in front of you the whole time. There's one person, this one friend that you should have been talking to. You finally reach out to them, hey man, I want to bring you in on board with this thing. And and I'm not saying this to be braggadocious or anything, but I'm I'm telling you for the audience of people listening, is like that connection, that friend, that pathway to something better was there months ago. It was literally paved out months ago. Why aren't you calling me back? Why aren't you texting me now? But I'm focused on this. I'm focused on this because I think this is the big thing. And I'm like, I am an idiot. And I will go to my wife and I will tell her, and it's clear as day now. I can literally write it out, the timeline, all the frustration, all the pain points I'm chasing this. But a friend of mine was trying to get a hold of me for months, and I'm not replying because I'm I don't have time for that. I don't have time for this. Make time to just take a knee, to just find silence and just let it go. I I grab every thought, I'm focusing on everything. And rather than just letting it flow through and just being, okay, like that's not for you. That's not your thing. And so many of our brothers are out there dealing with this. And it's it's that right there, what you just shared, will pay out to like the audience for months. If you could just just find a way to find silence in your life, it's gonna come to you because the greatest things that you know we we've ever accomplished come with periods of being able to isolate, being able to be intentional, going for a walk, like just giving ourselves time to not be inundated by by these things. Um so I'm guilty of it.
SPEAKER_02All of us are, and and in themselves, like all those things aren't bad, but very often our superpowers become also our kryptonite. And like there's a term that I started using a couple of years ago. I don't know, I just made it up. I call that dog balling. Uh just like a just a dog, just a dog chasing a ball. And I I'm a I'm I'm a dog baller. Like it's okay, I just when my mind is set on something, I'm going. That's a it's it's like a superpower, a talent, a gift. But it also is my curse, too, because it's so often like, damn it, Steven, just chill out, dude. Chill, bro. And then to bring it back to your point, the silence is key because everything is magnified and clarified in the silence. That scares the hell out of us, though, because we don't know what we're gonna find. But it's only in that clarity, um and and that that we can find peace, right? And very often the thing that scares us the most is a lot of times can be our best friend. And not, you know, not I'm not talking about a best friend, but like the thing that scares us the most can end up being the greatest blessing. But the key element is the silence. We've got to break down our daily routines, get off the hamster wheel, stop dogballing for a second. And and there's a ton of ways to do that, you know, prayer, meditation, go on a walk, read a book, uh, whatever, ice baths, whatever, whatever you need to do to kind of break that cycle for the break the circuit. You know, it's like we we we short circuit that get that feedback loop. So dogballing, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Guiltiest charge. And now I'm gonna take that. That's uh gonna be my term too. Dogballing.
Sunday Mass As Weekly Reset
SPEAKER_01You know, one of the things that I am I'm grateful to my wife to always be like my my professional wrangler is making time. We I see it in a lot of my my my early early uh you know my my journey back to the church. You know, you want to do something on Sunday or something that comes into mass and you're or or something that might be cutting in your time and you have to go to mass and you tell yourself, like, oh man, like I'd rather be doing this. And it's one day, one day to go to church, one day to go to mass. Like, why why drag your feet and change your perspective when you go to church? Change the idea of like why you do so many other things for everybody else. And I want people to understand and and and try to change that relationship with going to worship to going to church, and don't see it as this like begrudging thing of like, did you go into mass? You Go to church, you get to be with him for an hour. But here at Prattville, maybe an hour and a half. Sometimes Father goes a little longer. That's neither here nor there. But but you have to change the relationship that you have with going to church because I think it starts childhood. When you're kicking and screaming, you don't want to go to church. Like, how do we change that idea of like, oh man, you're going to church to like, man, I get to go to church. Like, dude, we're going to church together. Like, how can we make it a thing of like, hey, bro, what are you doing? And I see this in my church. I see these young men that they're not going there with their families. They're young. They're they're these individuals are going there as friends. They're bringing their friends to mass. And I, my wife and I get thrilled every time we see our our friends come in and we're like, we don't know. We haven't been able to go through that because we're always at the cry room. But we're like, man, how cool is it these young men are coming here with their crew, their faith crew? Uh that's our new tagline. I don't know if that's what it is. But like, how do we make it more exciting and more joyful?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. That's uh that's a that's a good question. That's a good point, too. I mean, the whole thing at the heart of it is living a proper order life. All right. And so Sunday, the first day of the week, there's a lot of ways you can understand this and unpack it and try to make sense of it. God calls us to go to, you know, keep holy the Sabbath, right? Go to church. Why? Because God wants to keep us under his thumb? No, not at all. But because God knows that we can't save ourselves. And so there's a beautiful, there's so much beauty in church on the first day of the week. In scriptures, it's referred to as the eighth day. So seven days of creation. The resurrection was on the eighth day. The gospel writers talk about that. What's the big deal of that? It's a new life, it's a new creation, it's a new start, all right? It's a whole nother realm with Jesus Christ. So that's, you know, new creation. Also, by starting the week with that surrender is a very concrete way of reminding ourselves that we're not, we can't save ourselves. And if we and if if you make that offering, you could say, the first day of the week to God, it puts everything else in balance and in check for the rest of the week. Because at the end of the day, you know, with Christ the sinner, Sunday, Sunday Mass, Sunday service, you remember that, and you learn, you get in the habit that it doesn't depend on me. All of us are guilty of dog balling. I used that term earlier, and we we just get exhausted. And what do we do? We just we we complain. Oh, I'm tired, I'm so tired, my life's so busy, one thing after another, blah, blah, blah. And so we all want a break. And God has made it in our DNA to start off with a break. Right. And so um the uh just like you start your day with prayer, and that that helps you orient the whole day. Same thing with with church on Sundays. God knows we need the break, God knows we need the help, and He gives it to us. We've got to make the choice, though, to set our ego aside, to set all of our stuff that we got to do aside and actually go. Is it gonna be hard? Yeah, it's gonna be hard. Why? Because it's so countercultural, it's so counter-ego. It goes against everything that that that Sam leads us to do. There's surrender in it. Is it is it boring sometimes? Yeah, sometimes it is very boring, but that's good. It's like a detox, you know, and so uh yeah, there's just a lot of different ways we could go on that. No, that's that's just that's amazing. We just gotta go now.
SPEAKER_01You do. You gotta go, gotta make time for it and and change the narrative. If you if church wasn't something you enjoyed as a kid, change the narrative for you and your family. Understand that it's it, you know, I and I'm gonna throw this out there for you guys listening.
Adoration And Showing Up Consistently
SPEAKER_01It doesn't just end with going to mass on one day. Because adoration, that's a powerful tool for us to be able to connect with him to sit down. And I I will tell you, I um I had a client that was they're very needy with my time. And when it came time for me to write up the my new, you know, I here's my new contract, I put it there purposefully on Wednesdays from this time. Like I'm not gonna be available because I'm going to adoration. I'm gonna make that. And it was a challenge for me because I do want to be able to be available to everybody and and be able to do that podcast and be able to do do all that stuff for everybody. But when am I gonna be able to take a moment to just be there with God, sit down and pray? And just have and and what I found it is the most rewarding moment of my day when I'm able to go there and sit down and just just pray. Just for me. My phone's not on, there's nobody else, or if me and my wife go together, like home run. You're there, you're making the time, and it's you're pouring back into yourself. I always say with my friends when they send me something awesome on a text message to my hey man, thanks for pouring into my cup. It's the same feeling. It's the same feeling when you sit down and it gives me goosebumps when I see other people making that time, and you'll start seeing a couple more, and it's not packed. It's not a it's not something that I think we talk about a lot in our culture of just making the time to go to mass and making the time to go to adoration. It's like that little bit more for yourself. It's not for anybody else. You're not doing it for anybody else. Going there for you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02It's like, you know, when you finish working out and you got a pump and you just leave the gym and you're like, hell yeah, dude. You leave and you feel just you feel focused, you feel stable, you feel solid. When you go to adoration, it's like a spiritual pump. And you leave that place and you're just like, Yeah, I'm gonna go run my head through a wall, like, let's go, dude. Like, let's live life. And it's gonna look different for everybody. Some guys are gonna need to go and read a book and do something the whole time. Maybe that's what they need to reorient themselves. Other guys will just go and spend it in complete silence. Let the thoughts come and go. Other guys will go and sleep for an hour. When I was in the military, you were asking earlier about, you know, like the calling. A key thing was daily adoration. Not so much because I made the decision just to go and pray, but there was a priest, one of the chaplains, uh, really good friend. We'd go to the gym every evening. He always got off after I did. So I'd go to the chapel and wait for him uh until he finished. Then we'd go to the gym. Four, four out of five days a week, coughed out. I mean, just head down, you know, waking up and my neck is hurting. But it was such good sleep, man. And God worked in it. But the important thing was showing up. Guys, I think it's important as we talk about this to, you know, we're we're encouraging people to go. Go pray. Find time in silence, find time in prayer. Um, are you gonna mess up? Yeah. Are you gonna go and fall asleep or do whatever? Sure. Just show up and trust the process. I tell people all the time, all the time, if you're not going to church already, go every Sunday. Go for go for four weeks. If if you if your life already isn't changing after four solid weeks of you being consistent, let me know. I'll give you $100. Like no one's ever come back. Once they get into that, then I say, okay, add prayer time every week. And if it's at home, great. But if it can be at church or a chapel or some prayer garden, even better. Start with 15 minutes, 30 minutes, try to get to an hour, build up over time, do that for a month. And then after that, I challenge people to start doing daily mass. Add one day, one day a week if they can, one day every other week. Um, and not once have has have people done it and then come back and said, you know what, that sucked. They always come back and they're like, dude, you're right. That was that's pretty good. But the important thing, you got to show up. You just got to show up, man.
SPEAKER_01You do. Um and it's uh one of the like I tell guys, like when I started this journey, there's a lot of things I I tried for my mental wellness, for for my resilience, for my well-being. Every every tool, every resource the doctor provided, um, I took off. There's a lot of things I don't do anymore, a lot of things that I don't take. But the one thing that's consistently been in my life has been my faith. It since I came back to it, like it's not like it's funny. I will I travel overseas. I've been blessed to be able to go places, and I will make, I will make the intention to go to confession, say, Father, I'm traveling. Is it okay? I'm gonna be missing this day. I'll be really far away from it. It's like I will I will go the extra mile to make sure that, like, hey, I if I absolutely have to miss it, I want to be covered by the big guy. Just throw it in there, throw an extra couple of prayers for me. Just know I'm working. Because I've worked hard at this. Because I think a lot of us from the military mindset, once we find something that we we are believers in, once something that is is is good for us, we don't want to mess it up. And when we mess it up, it's like, ah man, like I dropped a ball, and it's not about being perfect, dude. It's not about being perfect. Like, just if you're listening, just understand that it's still the ADHD, the TBI, it's still up here. I still struggle with it. But I I I say that so that you understand that if you follow this, if you get back to your faith and you mess up and you you don't go to mass or you don't go to adoration one day, it's not like you're starting at zero and like somebody's holding something over your head. Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's the reps, man. Yeah, it's you just you gotta have reps. And yeah, the good thing about our Lord is he doesn't care about the quantity of reps, he cares about the the quality of the yes that we give him. And it may sound cliche or something, but make it and then make it intentional,
Practical Ways To Pray Daily
SPEAKER_02you know? And you know, we're on the subject of prayer. We're encouraging guys to go pray. If I could just say it just like a little bit, like some guys are wondering, like, okay, what do I do? Do I just go like cross my legs and sit Indian style and like hold my hands folded? Like, what do I do? Do I hum or like sing a song? What do I do? Kumbaya, I don't know. Like, it's I always suggest take the take a Bible and start with the gospels. Just read the gospel slowly and read like a little paragraph or parable. Read it two times, three times, and then set your Bible aside and just close your eyes and just imagine. Just imagine the situation. You know, what does it smell like? What does it look like? What are the sounds? Who are the people that you have in your like that you this is just this is from St. Ignatius Aloyola. He teaches this way of prayer. Um, it's a meditative way of praying with the scriptures and put yourself into it. You know, that's one way. Another big thing is journaling. I almost always have um a notepad with me, and especially in prayer. Again, the monkey brain, it's full of stuff. And so all these ideas are coming. I can just jot them down, and then it gives so much peace. Um, and yeah, so reading the gospels and uh and having a notepad, those are two of the most powerful things. You mentioned the rosary earlier. Um, you know, I got one right here. It's just a beautiful prayer. There's a lot of ways that we can pray with this. Of course, the rosary, but there's also a lot of chaplets. And the beauty of this is actually the repetition. Yeah. It's actually the beauty of the repetitive prayer. Uh, you know, I have brothers and sisters in the faith that critique that and say, don't do repetitive prayer. Well, no, actually, like that's a part of our DNA. We don't stop breathing, like we breathe in and out. We we had cycles of life. We wake up and we go to bed, we eat meals. Spiritually and emotionally, it's no different. And this gives us a root, uh, a rhythm, a piece. It gives it's like a metronome. It gets us back. So yeah, I mean, we could talk about prayer. That could be a whole nother episode, you know, but the rosary.
SPEAKER_01No, no, I want to dive into this because this is my this is the one thing that I really want
Praying For Enemies To Soften Hearts
SPEAKER_01to. If if you haven't been paying attention, if you just have it on the background of your drive, I want you to hear this because this this right here has changed my life incredible, in incredible ways. It has helped me and has shown me God's like working through in these small miracles. The importance of praying for your enemies, the importance of praying for people that you think are out to get you, personal vendettas. When my and again, this brought to you by my wife. The the greatest influence is my wife in this. I'm I'm no different than you. I I've struggled in many ways, and I continue to struggle. And one of those things is you make enemies, professional enemies, or you have people that don't like you and they they're out there to get you. And my wife hears it all the time. This this SOB, he's gonna get it. And the first thing she says is pray for them. And when this first started coming into conversation, I'm like, why, why would I pray for this person? They have done me wrong. They've taken money off of our pocketbook. They've they've hurt me professionally, they're they've they're going against me. And she's told me flat out, it's like, okay, that may be so, but you might be the only person that's praying for them. You might be the only person that's sinned there intentionally praying for good in their life. Pray for them. And I tell you, the first week I'd go out for my morning prayer, and I'd be like, oh man, this is gonna really, this is really gonna chat me. I don't want to do this. And and there I am with the name, just praying this name over and praying and over. And I realized the importance of softening my heart, understanding that two things could be true. This person could do horrible, mean, spiteful things, but you know what? What's it, what good is it doing for me? What good is it doing for me to be hateful and hold that anger and hold that idea this person's hurting me? No, I'm gonna pray for them. I'm gonna pray for them. I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna put it in intentionally, and I I like I always say I pray with the Halo app, so it's Mark Wahlberg, and he always pauses for me to get my names in there. And every morning before I step out, it's like, all right, I'm praying for you. And it softens you. And you'll be amazed what God does and puts that person in your life and puts them in a position to speak in a positive manner about you and help open doors for you. And it's like, out of nowhere, you see this connection develop and you're like, there's no other way. I don't talk to this person. We're not on speaking terms, but there he is championing me and talking about how good of a person I am and all the great things that I'm doing. And here I am, like living in Twilight Zone that I remember, and I'm sitting there visually remembering my wife telling me to pray for this individual, to pray for this man. I'm like, if we're not connected by an all-powerful, amazing God that's looking out for us, who's putting these things intentionally in your wife's head to tell you and make it and to get you to do that. I I don't I don't know what else. I don't know what other miracle I needed other than that, to see that come into fruition, to see that power transcend, you know, my wife telling me to do something, me honoring and understanding the importance of listening to her, and then doing it intentionally. And I still do it, but I bring it up to guys and they're like, no man, this dude he hurt me so bad, or this person sliding me. I'm never praying for them. I'm like, pray for them. Pray for them because it may not be, you may not have that same situation where something good comes of it, but that person may not have anybody in their life that's praying for them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Man, you you made a point in that that's so true. You said both things can be true at the same time. I think we forget that. We want to make it black or white, this or that, but life is messy. And one of the one of the ways is this thing right here, people that hurt us or think that we have emotions, whatever it may be. We don't have to love everybody. Or I mean, we don't have to like everybody, but God calls us to love everyone. And this whole thing of praying for the people that just piss us off is or hurt us or slight us or whatever it may be, it's actually like God uses that more for us, and which is wild. Very often the thing that makes me most mad about somebody, whatever, whatever the issue may be, whenever I can get over my little ego or big ego, I have a can have a big ego, and I get off my little soapbox. The Lord always uses that person to teach me something. Yeah, maybe they did something extremely wrong to me. That was it fair, was it justified, that I didn't do anything to prompt it. But God always teaches me something through it. And he'll reveal something in my life, maybe how how I'm doing the exact same thing with somebody else. And then it causes me to look in the mirror and say, like, ah, sheesh, like, okay, Steven. Like, yeah, they did that, but you know what? You're doing this stuff too. And and it hurts. You know, in war, like you've got a, of course, you have enemies. Like that, that's a thing in war. You have missions that you have to carry out, and there's bigger reasons for doing that. We don't go to battle just saying, we want to go in there just to destroy this person or this situation or this context or this group, whatever it may be. There's always a bigger thing around them. You know, it's not a matter of just going after people, it's going after issues, going after truth, going after what's real. But in for a a war to you want to end them as soon as possible. You don't go to war just to stay in war. And the key element of that is respecting your enemy. You don't have to like them. And you know, as a matter of fact, you're in war with them. But you've gotta, you've gotta respect the the prey. Like you've got to respect the animal you're hunting, you've got to respect your enemy because there's always something bigger in there. Yeah. That's the hurts the ego, hurts the ego, but um it's true.
SPEAKER_01It does. It does hurt the ego, but I'm telling you, by the third, third week of doing it, you get you get the point. It took me three weeks because I'm I'm a bit of a slow learner, but after three weeks, you get you get the understanding of it, and it hits you harder. It hits you harder when you realize like what visualize it. Visualize somebody that's out there suffering and uh in great need of a friend and great need of support, and they're all alone. There's nobody there for them. Like, even if they had robbed you, even if they had you know carjacked you, like you picture that person suffering by themselves, complete agony and misery. And if your one prayer that morning could alleviate a little bit of that, yeah, you're gonna get behind it. I and that's what I needed to do. I needed to visualize that person by themselves, suffering, no one to turn to, no friends in their corner. I'm like, okay, well, you know what? Nothing that he did was big enough or or or horrible enough for me to actually sit here and um not be willing to pray for them. So I pray for you. I still do. Um and I will continue to do that because the the power of that does not
Addiction And The Lie Of Isolation
SPEAKER_01escape me. And that's something that I've learned about our faith. Like it's filled with things that Hollywood wants us to believe are are fake and CGI, but they're there's real real evil, horrible things out there. Um and it manifests in different ways. I I think uh the show, I don't know if you ever watched the show evil, that uh it it really it puts uh it puts things into perspective of like how everyday things like for example, uh addictions and pornography, uh they can look like you know things that are you know bound by here in the earthly realm, but really and truly you're dealing with a dark force. And when I explain that to my friends, uh, you know, it's not just oh, it's just it's just a couple of things. It's just t it's just Tinder, it's just OnlyFans. It's like, well, it's actually a little darker. It's actually a little bit deeper. Like it's it's uh there's there's more at work to that. And I think a lot of people don't don't really see it that way.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, behind it's the lie that we're alone.
SPEAKER_02People, all addictions that we have, we do it because we feel alone and like we're looking for some sort of consolation or we're escaping the pain, whatever it may be. And that's what the biggest lie from the devil. The devil tells us every day, like, hey, you you gotta figure this out on your own. You're by yourself, you're alone, no one is in your corner. Um, that's that's totally against God. And so uh just reorienting, reorienting and and properly ordering that stuff is is key. And which goes back to the silence and the prayer and dating daily meditation. It's that briefing every day we have with the boss, commander, like, all right, this is it's what we're doing. Don't forget, like, focus on what you got to focus on, dude. Yes, sir, God. You got it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
Find A Wingman For The Fight
SPEAKER_01You know, as we begin to wind down, I want to ask you for for a lot of us that are, you know, getting back to the faith, that are navigating this journey again. We talked about the importance of prayer. We talked about journaling. What are some other tips or things that can help our audience members that are willing to dive back into faith, willing to come back to Catholicism? What are some habits or some daily things that can help them and guide them on their journey? Have a wingman. Don't do it alone.
SPEAKER_02That's that's an extremely important thing. And don't just let some wingman be a buddy that that you go fishing with. Let it be someone that you that you you you speak the truth to. And not so much, I'm not saying speak the truth in as much as you're preaching to them. But if if you've got a secret sin that you're that you're embarrassed of that you don't want speak it into the light, it, dude, it's it's embarrassing. You feel stupid. It's like, man, why am I a you know a chump? Like, why am I doing this or that or whatever it may be? Have somebody in your corner that you can say, hey, I was a dumbass again yesterday. And they're gonna, they're gonna say, yeah, you are a dumbass when you do that. But you know what? I love you. Let's get over it, dude. And they're like, okay. And once you bring stuff to the light, you realize it's it's not as big as you think it is. But when you carry that stuff alone, so a key thing I would say, uh, you know, in addition to the silence, the prayer, Sunday Mass, reading scriptures, have have a wingman, have a few that um that that you can call. And, you know, what does that look like? Practically speaking, I would say that one of those things that that maybe you carry every day, no one else knows about, the thing that you don't want anyone else to know about, pick up the phone, go visit them, let that be the first thing you say. Hey, dude, what's up? How's it going? Man, I got to get something off my chest. Like, can you just hear me out in a in a sacred and confidential and loving way? Because I'm strong, I look tough, man. I'm broken. And I just want to bring this into the light, and I just want to speak it out to somebody, you know? And so having a spiritual wingman is is key. It's essential. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's one of the instance. We just opened up one more thing, one more thing, and I promise I'll let you go because I know you're a busy man. But the power of confession we we talked about a little earlier, but that goes straight into that
The Sacrament And Seal Of Confession
SPEAKER_01topic. Can can you dive into why confession is important? Why why is it something that we we have to embrace?
SPEAKER_02So it's a sacred spot where you bring into the darkness of your soul into the light of Christ. And in the light of Christ, all that darkness is dispelled. It properly reorients you. It it helps put the soul back into place. The emphasis in that moment is not the priest. There's a lot of there people will push back and say, I just need Jesus. Yeah, that's all we need is Jesus. That's true. But Jesus called 12 guys. He didn't just call one person. He sent them out two by two. God did not create us to be islands. That's true biologically. None of us are aliens. We didn't come like some stork didn't drop us out of the sky in a little bassinet. We are born into community biologically. Emotionally, we can't be isolated. Spiritually, we can't be isolated. And Christ, He doesn't go against the very laws that He made. Confession is that sacred spot where it's not simply a friend that you talk to and share this stuff with, but the beauty of the sacrament is in the sacraments, it's God is there. And the cool thing about the sacraments is that God has to obey us because it's a gift that He's given us and a promise that He is with us in those concrete ways. And so God can't go against the promise that He makes. So in the sacrament of Reconciliation, God necessarily forgives us. Like we can't not be forgiven. If we go there with true contrition, true reconciliation, true repentance, God forgives us of our sins. And we do this with the priest, but it's in such a sacred and confidential way. It's it's really the only way in the whole world that you can say it to somebody with the guarantee that it's uh it's staying there with with God. Guys have been killed. We will die for this. We don't we have we if one of the beauties of being a priest and a celibate is you know that means I don't have a wife, don't have kids, is that at the end of the day, I have nothing to lose for the gospel. And so what I mean is, okay, what's the worst you're gonna do? Like take my life because I'm not gonna share these people's souls with you. Okay, I got nothing to lose. There's there's other troops behind me, other priests. So we're we're like we're we're kind of like the operators, you know, in the faith. And we go to preach the gospel to fight the mission, to serve and protect and defend our nation, our patria, and and knowing that there's a risk on the line. And and and so we we go into that. The beauty of confession is that it's like these these rangers, these operators, these that that that the Lord puts there and says, uh, all right, yeah, you're on the front line, but um that's it's I don't know. It's just a sacred thing. It's uh it's a sacred spot, you know, and why? Because of the beauty of the human soul and human dignity. And we don't take that lightly. None of us do. And uh yeah, I don't know if that answers your question, but it's uh It does, absolutely, it does.
SPEAKER_01And um because I know that's one of the big sticking points that I I struggled with until I understood it. And it took a it took a while um for me to understand that it's not about you know feeling like I can't talk to another person. It's not there for you to you're not divulging this to somebody that doesn't care, doesn't understand, and it is part of being closer to God. It's you're not doing this, you're not doing yourself any service by just keeping these things that you're wrestling with to yourself. Like you have to bring it, like you said, bring it out to the light. And once I understood it, once and and it became something that I'm a powerful advocate for because I s I understand the importance of it. And like I said, why am I confessing the same sin over and over and over again? It stops today. I'm through being one of these knuckleheads that isn't like I wouldn't go to my superior with the same faults, the same problems over and over. I certainly wouldn't do it as a green beret. Like, hey, yay, Chief, I'm screwed up every single way, every single day, the same night, and you're gonna be off the freaking team. Uh, God's not gonna kick you off the team. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying the same sort of importance and and and drive to do better when you're struggling with these things is how I interpret and how I feel it. And and to your other point of find your friends, man, it's such a powerful gift when your friend is willing to come to you and and and divulge these things that they're struggling with. You know, one of what it's brought me closer to one of my friends when he was willing to say, Man, I'm struggling with this. And what a gift from God, too, to be to be in a position where I'm better, where I'm not struggling with that, where I can say, you're not in this fight alone, brother. Here's how we get over it. Here's here's our battle plan. Here's how we're gonna attack this demon. Here's how we're gonna attack this, and we're gonna face it together. You're not alone in it. And being able to be there for another one of your friends, come on, dude. Like, that is the greatest thing. You're still a warrior. You're still in the fight, man. It's encouraging.
SPEAKER_02So encouraging. And we don't, we could, we don't care about the sin. Like we've heard them all. We've heard all 10 commandments broken, and we've heard all 10 of them broken in many different flavors, like many different ways. So it's like when people come, we we don't care. Like we we want to hear it because you name it. But like when a garbage man comes and picks up the dumpster, he's not going through your bags of trash and saying, Whoa, look at all the garbage. We just dump the trash out, dude. Like it's we dump it, let's hop on the road. Like we we don't care about the sin, we care about the sinner. And I think it's important to keep that in mind when you're going through this with your wingman, Knox. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, man. I I father, I can't thank you enough. Um I'm gonna call you father, brother, brother, brother, father, brother. It's part of part of our warrior tribe thing. We call everybody brother, but I am a brother, you know.
SPEAKER_02Before you before everyone else, I'm a like St. Augustine said, before the people, I'm a shepherd, but before the Lord, I'm I'm another sinner in the ranks, you know. So we're brothers.
SPEAKER_01We're in it together, man. Man, thank
How To Connect And Final Challenge
SPEAKER_01you so much. Uh I I can't tell you um how much I've enjoyed this. Um if if the audience wants to reach out to you, ask you questions, how can you connect?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, either um perish, call the church here. I'm at St. Teresa Catholic Church in Little Rock, Arkansas, uh, shoot me an email, call the office, set up an appointment with my secretary, uh, reach out through Instagram. Uh I'm not the best with the messages there, but I I do what I can. I try to try to at least acknowledge them and and and get back. Um my Instagram thing is it's just all spelled out, Father Stephen J Gadbury. Um and uh just shoot me a message there. That's probably two of the best ways here at the church directly or um you know just there on through the through this Instagram, Instagram machine and getting judgment.
SPEAKER_03Especially with me there, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Heck yeah. Well, Father, thank you so much for being here today. Guys, you know the spiel, this episode's almost over. Do me a favor. Actually, two. One, prayed Rosary today. It's good for you. It'll help you. You know what? I'll put a link to the Halo app. I use it every day. It's fun. I get to pray with Mark Wahlberg, but do that for yourself. Try it out. You never know. Maybe it'll stick. Next favor is go to the episode description, click those links, send a friend request to Father. Um, reach out to him. Reach out to me if you have questions. Um, if you need professional questions answered about the faith, go to Father. If you want lived experience questions, come to me. I'll give you as much as you want. I will share and be open with you. But the main reason of this episode is um to just get you to question, just get you to think about going back to the faith. Or if you're already a Catholic and you enjoyed it, it's just for you to enjoy and having a great conversation with an awesome individual. So, guys, thank you for tuning in. Father, thank you for being here. And uh, we'll see you all next time. Until then, take care.
