Chad Spivack on Veteran Transition, Mental Health, and Finding Purpose After Service | Security Halt! Podcast Ep. 433

    Security Halt’s Med Group - https://zcform.com/QA5Qs
Click the link for a FREE consultation with My Med Team to see how we can help.

What happens after the uniform comes off? In this powerful episode of the Security Halt! Podcast, Chad Spivack—military veteran, author, and mental health advocate—opens up about the realities of combat, the weight of transition, and the internal battles that follow service.

This conversation dives deep into veteran mental health, identity loss, and the path toward healing. Chad shares how storytelling, vulnerability, and intentional self-work became the foundation for rebuilding his life—and how other veterans can do the same.

If you’re navigating transition, struggling with purpose, or supporting someone who is, this episode delivers real, actionable insight grounded in lived experience.

Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction: Why veteran stories matter and the power of shared experience
 01:17 – Chad’s background and why he wrote Now What
02:18 – Early life, military service, and defining moments
05:08 – From enlistment to pursuing psychology
06:58 – Airborne school challenges and training experiences
09:18 – Deployment to Afghanistan during COVID and transition insights
10:39 – Depression, suicidal thoughts, and mental health awareness
12:33 – Post-military life and the struggle with identity loss
14:02 – Inspiration behind the book and storytelling approach
15:24 – Themes of purpose, struggle, and resilience
17:41 – Vulnerability as a tool for healing
20:18 – Why sharing stories matters in the veteran community
22:34 – Fear, honesty, and writing authentically
24:21 – Opening up to family and loved ones
26:49 – Journaling as therapy and reflection
30:29 – Identity, purpose, and resilience after service
32:17 – Transitioning during COVID and life changes
35:47 – Reintegration struggles and redefining goals
39:24 – Community, fitness, and mental health strategies
43:32 – Goal setting and avoiding external distractions
45:41 – Practical transition and mental health advice
50:36 – The importance of self-care and support systems
56:00 – Where to find Chad and his book
57:31 – Final thoughts on storytelling, healing, and growth

Sponsored by:
Transcend
Use my referral link to book a consultation for Peptide Therapy
http://transcendcompany.com/DenyCaballero
Pure Liberty Labs
Use Code: SECURITY_HALT_10
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/purelibertylabs/
Website: https://purelibertylabs.com/
PRECISION WELLNESS GROUP
 Use code: Security Halt Podcast 25
 Website: https://www.precisionwellnessgroup.com/
SPECIAL FORCES FOUNDATION
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/specialforcesfoundation_/
Website: https://specialforcesfoundation.org/
Request Help: https://specialforcesfoundation.org/get-support/
 
Security Halt Media

https://www.securityhaltmedia.com/

Instagram: @securityhalt

Transcript

Identity Hijack And Barracks Life

SPEAKER_05 0:00

The army has uh I talk about identity a lot and your purpose in life. The army has a way of hijacking that. It's easy to do, it's by design because they want it they're like you are their resource, you are a weapon, you are like they need you to be the best soldier that you can possibly be. Totally understand that. But it's not great for doing something else outside of it. Once you once you've been, you know, entrenched in that. And so the story that I wanted to talk about, the bear in the barracks, of how when you're lowered listed guy, you really cannot escape it ever. When I was at Fort Bliss, I was uh, I think it was a weekend, Saturday morning. I just wake up, like probably a little bit hungover from going to the bar like on Friday night. And I wake up to like the barracks Antio just sitting on my bed in full uniform. And my door was closed, and it was just on my bed, and he's like, he puts his like just kind of taps me, and he's like, Hey, we're doing an inspection. We got the dogs coming through the entire building. We need to get up. And I'm just like, oh my god.

Transcend Sponsor Message

SPEAKER_01 0:49

I think we've gotten to the era where everybody hyperfoot fixates on the soft community, and we tend to forget that everyday soldiers struggle with transition identity as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Start your transformation with transcend. Every new customer who begins with a transcendent starter package gets a chance to win a full upgrade to our six-month body transformation program, a$20,000 value. This includes advanced blood work, expert analysis, personalized treatment plans, nutrition coaching, and guided fitness support. Everything designed to optimize your performance and health. Enter by April 15th, 2026, and take the first step toward a stronger, healthier youth. Transcend. Your transformation starts here.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Welcome to the Kid Out Podcast. How's it going, man? I'm doing well. How are you doing, Danny? Oh, living on a wing of prayer, man. Best way to do it. As always. For achievers, we never like to slow down. Moment of shout-out to my fine fine institution of higher education, ASU. ASU. If you need a capstone project from your background and demographic, that's going to get shot down by people who've never lived your experience or know your community. You. Fuck you. That's why. Fuck this master's program. I'm so happy it's it's coming to an end. Oh man. But it's it's actually all about what you're writing in your book. Uh now what? Uh the transition is absolutely difficult for everybody going out of the military. I have the lived experience. And uh I have the the privilege of engaging on a daily basis with our brothers and sisters that are going through this. And while a lot of individuals in the modern medicine, whether it's an actual MD doctor or a psych, they want to pretend like they have every resource and every everything solved. We don't. And I will tell you because we're not focused down at the actual individual level. Um I'm dealing with it in my capstone. Like I I just vented the frustration of knowing your community, knowing the gaps, and being told by individuals that have never served that, are you sure? Are you sure this is really happening? You want to come to my house? You want to interview or talk to these people? But that's neither here nor there. Today we're gonna talk about you, Chad. Talk about not only your lived experience with this issue, but what drove you to write this book. So now that we have everything vented, please tell us about yourself, man.

SPEAKER_05 3:26

Sure. All right, well, yeah, this is kind of like that meme moment of like, yeah, that's me. Like, bet you're wondering how I got here, you know, kind of thing. So, you know, writing a book on a podcast here on a lovely Monday afternoon. Um, I I I'm hoping that this will be kind of like the the first and only segment of this conversation together where I talk about myself. Um, because I think it's really sets the stage of like, you know, the context of how it got me here and, you know, what led me even into the army and then, you know, my experience with the transition out of it. Um, because what I'm really trying to do with the book is help other people and help yet, you know, mentor young men who are going through similar problems or have seen it, and they just don't haven't learned the lessons yet. And I'm hoping to just impart that wisdom. So hopefully they don't make the same mistakes that I did or the people that I knew did, and then hopefully they don't see some of the bad stuff that that I unfortunately did, you know, throughout my my you know, hopefully young adult life at this point. Okay, so starting at the beginning. So day one, I was born. Uh no, we weren't I was born on a cold winter's eve. So no shit, there I was, you know. So um going into college, uh, had a bit like a really big um interest in psychology. You know, they they say that anybody who's really interested in, you know, psychology or you know, clinical psychology, becoming a psychologist, they either know somebody in their life that's crazy or they're crazy themselves, and or maybe just like kind of a combination of both. Um, I also, you know, I think that's pretty you know, probably partially accurate. I'm definitely, you know, a little cuckoo myself. I don't think people who do what we did are you know necessarily sane, you know, in any way, shape, or form. But you know, um, you want to fix the things that you're either seeing or that they're around you. And then also I always found that I had a pretty good read on people. Like I really enjoyed learning what makes people tick. And, you know, I I wanted to know what, hey, like you're you're kind of off today. Like, hey, what's going on? Like, I'm reading stuff that may not even be there, kind of thing. So I always kind of had that interest in like the brain and and how people work. So went to college with the the full intention of of becoming a clinical psychologist and actually working with kids. That was really what I wanted to do initially. Oh, no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And uh yeah, I went um a little bit different of a route. So a lot of my friends in college were actually uh ROTC guys, you know, like that was kind of just drawn to them. I was in a fraternity at Tulane University down in New Orleans, and just a lot of my friends happened to be in ROTC. And I was drawn to them, they were similar to my buddies that were in high school. Um, yeah, became very close friends with them, still very close friends to them to this day. And there was kind of like a shift in what my focus was. That like I've always been super patriotic. And yeah, like I don't know, was always kind of drawn to the military a little bit, but never really kind of dipped my feet in in any way, shape, or form. Like was still kind of on the all right, let's do college and I'll do this white collar, you know, psychologist, go to get a PhD kind of thing. But just with with uh being with them and being around them every day, I think like that it became more and more of an itch that I needed to scratch until eventually I'm just like, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I got it, I know how to do it. But there's also a way that I could do it potentially that still fit fits like the psychology aspect of it. Like, I know that PTSD and suicide is a really huge problem. That's something that I could potentially focus on, and I think it would be a great service to the to the country, the people that sacrifice everything. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna become a military clinical psychologist and really specialize in that kind of area. So I I you know, I'm like, all right, cool. All right, all right, I'm gonna join the army and then you know, so I get into like I think it was like a mil uh it was the medical recruiter, which I guess is a separate office when you when you go in there. And I go in there and I'm like, all right, yeah, I I want to help. I want to, you know, be uh all I can be and you know help people that are BTSD and then depression.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

You're telling how old you are right now. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:26

Yeah, well, yeah, I'm definitely aging myself, but it's okay. You know, I I I read at a much older level, I'd say.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Yeah. I haven't heard that campaign slogan in a while.

Airborne Trouble And Fort Bliss

SPEAKER_05 7:40

Um yeah, so I I get in there and I talk and I'm just like, all right, so yeah, you know, they're like, oh yeah, so you'll you'll go get your PhD and then you know you'll you'll do like drill uh throughout like during the summers when you're on break. And then you'll come in as an O3 as a captain, and then you'll yeah, you'll just be a clinical psychologist in the army. And I was like, okay, so that sounds great. Um when do I get to like go on on missions and like actually get to see what these guys are going through so I can actually have like ground to stand on. On, you know, like when they come in to see me, like how are they why would they trust me if I don't I haven't seen it, I don't know what they're what they're talking about, I haven't seen anything. And they're like, oh, well, that that's not what we do here. And like all of a sudden, like just just like red flags, like flares are going up all over the place. Like, okay, there's definitely something wrong, and I'm already starting to pick up on why there's probably an issue. Um, so then I fast forward a little bit, like, okay, so all right, I'm a no half measures kind of guy. Like, you know, if you go back to the beginning part of this conversation, a little crazy. Um, so I decided, all right, I need to go kind of full bore into this. So they had the 18 X-ray uh program that um I had no idea about until I actually went into the recruiter's office and just kind of sat down. I was kind of willing to just be like, all right, yeah, let's just go be on 11 Bravo and see what happens. Um they're like, yeah, have you like you are college educated, like you have like, you know, seem like you're in pretty good shape. Like, have you heard of this 18 x-ray program? And I'm like, nope, but I'm sure you're about to tell me kind of thing. So, you know, we uh we go in and I was like, okay, that's probably a pretty good way to uh really go balls deep into the how do I help people in getting the most experience that I possibly can. So did uh did an 8 to 18 x-ray program, and um when I got to airborne school, I actually got kicked out. What uh my first go about. Yeah, so we were uh there was like a big crew of x-rays there that it was, I don't know, it was like probably 25 of us. And one of the I I'm gonna age myself again, but they said, like, hey, what's like one of the number one rules of airborne school? And we're like, I we don't have any idea. They're like, you cannot drink at all while you're here. And I'm like, ah, come on now. Like our all of our general sergeants were just telling us how much fun they were having at airborne school when they went through. So we like, you know, obviously didn't listen. And uh then came, you know, you know, actions meet consequences kind of thing. So uh we all a lot of us got into a lot of trouble.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

This episode is brought to you by Pure Liberty Labs. Quality supplements designed to elevate your health and performance. Check out their full line of quality supplements, whether you're looking for whey protein, pre-workout, creatine, or a super greens drink. Pure Liberty Labs has you covered. Use my code security hall10 at checkout today.

Selection Success And Civilian Shock

Journaling That Turns Into A Book

SPEAKER_05 10:19

Um, you know, they couldn't really blame, like, you know, other than a couple of us, and no one really got caught, but I didn't want to give a sworn statement. I didn't want to dime anybody out, kind of thing. So it was like a lot of us were just administratively dropped um from it with like uh, hey, you can come back in a year kind of thing. So I got really, really lucky that I didn't get NTR or never to return for um whoever is not uh up to date on the acronyms kind of thing. So but what they could do is send us to some of some of the really nasty units in the army. So I got sent to Fort Bliss, a non-deployable unit out there in El Paso. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. So I got to uh I think I got off the plane in El Paso, got into a bus with uh whoever the liaison was, and they were like, welcome to Fort Bliss, this is where our careers go to die. So fact that's still said to really, really like so. Now I've I've gone through like I was in college, did like excelled through you know what I was doing, and I was like on this mission to like I'm gonna help, I'm gonna do this awesome thing on these special forces, and I've like to this point excelled at everything in my life, really mean. And now I I make I make a bad decision. I drink what I'm not supposed to, regardless of you know, whatever semantics rules you want to say. I did it, I broke the rules, and shit happens. And now I'm at a place where like, oh I what is going on? I I'm in a lot of trouble here. Um so yeah, get to my unit and luckily, like, you know, the unit is bad, my mission is bad, but like I met, I got I got to meet like some really awesome people there, like some really, really awesome soldiers that that were there. And some of my most like favorite memories are with some of those guys, like just kind of going through the shitty training that we had to do there because we were being told that we had to. Um, but that gave me a lot of good like you know, insight into the lower enlisted mind and like the people that are really struggling, especially um in a situation like that, you know, like because PTSD really or you know, depression doesn't only affect people with combat experience or like seeing their buddy die or anything like that. It affects everybody, especially when you're in a mo like uh a position where you feel like you're trapped or you're in jail. And that was my first experience with it. I would say that I I was depressed, and at that point in my life I actually became suicidal. I'm sorry, mom and dad. I know that you know this. If you're listening to this, I know it's probably really hard for you to hear me say that again. Um, but yeah, I I went through that and it was luckily I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and woke up every day and you know, not today, Satan kind of thing. And uh yeah, and then I was able to just just pick myself up and get myself out of there and eventually got, you know, a selection contract and went back to selection now with hey, there's no safety net anymore when I go to selection. Like I know what the like the end result of this can be if I don't make it. So it's kind of like you're gonna have to airlift me off of of Camp McCall if I don't make it. You know, versus versus like, you know, when I went in as an x-ray, I was like, hey, like the 82nd Airborne is like pretty cool. Like, you know, like that's that's not like that big of a deal. Like, you know, whereas like it's not just 82nd, you can go anywhere, you know, your needs of the army. So uh made it through selection, was able to get out of El Paso, and I went to the 18 Delta pipeline. Um, it was successful in there, and then I went to uh third third group out at Fort Bragg and did uh did a contract out there. I met my now uh current wife um out in uh North Carolina. We actually went to Tulane University together at the same time, same year, uh, but uh through whatever reason we just you know weren't friends at that point, didn't connect until until later. Uh we uh got engaged and then she wasn't too big on me being gone all the time and you know trying to trying to save the world. So I wanted to get out after a few years of of ODA time and uh did the transition into my current like uh technical or uh like AI product management job. And uh that's really where the like the transition like kind of nightmare like kind of kicked in after that of like wow, I really walked away from something something great into something that kind of really sucks, even though like you know, you're making a lot you know more money, um, your home more, you have more control over your life, but this is uh missing something. And um, like I'm sure we'll probably get into it more. I know that I'm I'm speaking a lot here. Um, but it got to a point where one of my good friends actually encouraged me to start journaling. Um that is a good thing. Yeah, very, very, very, very, very good friend, exactly. So it just wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Were you receptive at first? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

No, I was, yeah, because I I I'm always I'm very introspective about, you know, feeling to know like I was able to talk. Luckily, I have very, very good friends who are also similar in that same vein that they're like, yeah, you're like I've gone through issues and uh journaling really helps to just like kind of wake up first in the morning, don't even think about it, get your thoughts on paper and just go back. What I like to do is every month I'll go back and read my entries and just kind of see where my head was at um, you know, throughout that month. And but so what I'm really trying to get to is the is the original question, how did I get to writing a book? Um, and it was from that journaling practice that like I don't know why, but the ideas of like writing a novel, like should just started like kind of like coming into various journal entries and like the idea is just kind of like, well, what about this pair? Well, that that'd actually be kind of cool. And so I finally just said, like, hey, let's please like write an outline of of what a story could look like. And I wrote an outline and I was like, this actually could be pretty good. I remember explaining it to my wife on a long drive to our our uh my mom's house across the state, and uh, she's like, that could be a pretty cool story. I would, you know, like I wasn't even in the army, but I could I could read that. And um, then it's about after about two years, I would just set a timer of a half hour like every other day, and I would just type and just type out the story, and I mean two years later, here I I have a a book that I published, and now I'm on a podcast talking to you about it.

Plot Of Now What

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Yeah, plenty more podcasts to come. Um, I certainly hope so. I want to I want to dive into your journey, but before we do that, uh take us through the book. Take us through this story because you know, I feel like there's gonna be a lot of connections into your own lived experience, but I want to hear about if you could share with us the themes and and what it really means to go through that period of life where it's like, okay, now what?

SPEAKER_05 16:50

Mm-hmm. Uh, so the book follows the main protagonist who's kind of an anti-hero at first. His name is Private First Class, Reed Thomas Jr. He's a kind of uh like lost individual, like initially, just young kid, um, doesn't really know what he wants in life. He gives school a shot, but it doesn't, for whatever reason, I don't want to give it away. Like, it doesn't work out for him. Um, he's drawn to enlisting, doesn't really know why, probably out of anger at his parents, but doesn't he doesn't really understand. He's not introspective enough to understand that. Uh, he enlists, he winds up in what I I changed names of units, but you can kind of deduce like what they really are. So there's an airborne unit out in North Carolina called the 19th Airborne Division that he is a PFC in. And uh yeah, he's he's uh you know been in for a couple years at this point when the story starts. He's you know drinking on during the week and waking up late for formation. His you know, team or not his team sergeant, but his E5's buck sergeant, his team leader, has to, you know, knock on the door to wake him up for first formation because he's he missed, he slept through it. And um, yeah, he just he hates being in the army. Like he's you know, worth learning all the bad skills of shamming, but not all the good soldier skills or something like that. You know, kind of it's so like he's well on his way to earning a sham shield. And like we all know those are those cats who are like kind of gonna be one and done and they learn all the bad things. Um, they never really give the army a chance, essentially, for all the positives it can give you. Um, he's flanked by his uh best friend, Michael Avery, who is a real go-getter, who, you know, I would say that if if if you're gonna ask me like what character is probably I'm most similar to in the book, it would be it would be him, but I'm definitely sprinkled kind of like all throughout, especially as like the civilian transition happens and kind of thing. But so he he's in the army, but you know, through whatever reason, don't want to also doesn't want to give it away. He does have to transition out of the army. Um sorry, Reed, the main character has to transition out of the army um and has to find a job through his dad at a at you know, at a law firm because his dad's a big lawyer, and he has to adjust to that because everything in in the civilian world is just so much different. And it and it like when you're so used to a certain way of of living and a certain identity, even if you don't like it, if you never don't like being in the army, that it becomes really a part of you because you have to live in breathing. Especially if you're living in the barracks, like because you can't really escape it, you know. Like uh, I'll get to a funny story about barracks living of like, you know, identity and that kind of thing. Um, but yeah, so he winds up, you know, he's he does a civilian transition and then you know, he winds up, you know, starting to deal with you know suicidal ideation, like you know, kind of but just like a long spiral, like messing with uh drugs, alcohol, uh women, like all the all the vices kind of thing that are you're trying to look for an answer, but you're not looking in the right places, sort of thing, and how that can just you know lead to worse and worse outcomes. Um, and then you know, in a good storytelling fashion, it's finding the right people, it's finding the right woman, and bringing yourself back up from the abyss to what you should you really believe your purpose in life should be.

Making Transition Stories Relatable

SPEAKER_01 20:03

This episode of Security Health is brought to you by Dr. Taylor Bosley and Partition Wellness Group. Let's be real. By now, a lot of New Year's resolutions have already fizzled out. Life gets busy, motivation drops, and health ends up on the back of the five. Security All Listen, 25% off 300 consultations 25 at checkout. Click the link in the episode description to find out more and get started today. You know, it's funny that you you highlight a young man and you don't you chose not to make him a green beret or a uh somebody from the soft uh community. Was that intentional so that it you know you you could put a face a more recognizable like I I think we've gotten to the era where everybody hyperfix fixates on the soft community, and we tend to forget that everyday soldiers struggle with transition and identity as well.

SPEAKER_05 21:30

I I totally agree. And it wasn't it was a tent it was intentional. I wanted the main character to be um re more relatable to a wide variety of people. That includes people that aren't even in the army. You know, I could I could talk all day, like you and I could talk all day about what it's like to be on an SF, you know, a team. And some people are gonna just be like, holy shit, I have no idea what you're talking about. You're talking about it like so like casually that I can't relate to this at all. And you know, our like military jargon's gonna do that anyway. I try to do the best that I could to like explain acronyms. Really use them. And it's still like kind of like kind of tough like to get through if you really weren't like in the army per se. But yeah, I want it to be relatable. I know that the other piece too is I want lower and you know, like the lower enlisted people that I'm really trying to get to, the younger people, and this could be off junior officers too. It could be anybody, really. Is that I don't want people to think that just because they didn't go through this like you know, medal of honor level scenario that they can't admit that they're not okay and they're sad and that they're really struggling. And I admit that I do that too. I was really afraid about writing this book because, you know, a part of me was like, I don't have the experience, I don't have the, you know, the wisdom to really write this in a meaningful way. I was really terrified of telling my former team because of the stigma that writing books has in the soft community. Like, oh yeah, you're just gonna be another one of those guys that's you know, trying to do that.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

And I was actually let's kill that myth real quick. I love it because I talk about it all the time, man. We need more stories. The if you think back to what led you to, you know, probably start thinking about this. It was a book or magazine article. Um we need every story to be published, to be told, so we get the entire G Watt experience. It's not relegated to just these Medal of Honor, amazing moments of courage and valor, because the reality is they're far and few between. They are. And the vast majority of individuals that have this experience, you know, very few of them are here. Very few of the truth, uh truthful accounts of of these moments of extreme valor are around. So where does that leave us? It leaves us with stories like like like for example, a story of a cautionary tale of of what you can experience as you're transitioning out of the military, the story of just honest service, and and we need every one of those stories. I wanna I I I cannot say it enough. If you're a veteran, if you exp if you remember G Wat or before, uh pre-9-11, write your story, share it with the next generation. Because as you're seeing right now, the world will continue to move. We're already in another conflict. People are gonna forget. Don't let your stories die with you or your lessons. Write them. Be able to be be willing to push back against that side of uh the that voice in your head that says, nah, no, don't do it. Like we're always gonna have that inner critic. And and and I'll dive into that with you. Uh, but at least like going into this this experience, knowing that there is such a negative connotation with writing Did you have somebody that you were fli somebody from the teams or somebody that you a close confidant that kept you motivated, kept you going in those hard days of writing?

SPEAKER_05 24:50

Not necessarily. I had you know some close friends, some that were in the military and some that that weren't, that I was letting read like through throughout it, like giving them a chapter of time as I was completed. Like just raw, just no, no, like just completely unedited, just be like, hey, what do you think? Like you can just do it.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:07

I didn't even read the book until I got done with it. Like I just I really wrote it. Yeah, and I was just like, yeah, let's see what happens. That I read the first pass through. I didn't do any editing, I just read it. I was just like, let's see if the story even makes sense. And like this was kind of a fun experience, like, you know, because I hadn't read it at that point. So it's like, all right, this is kind of a new story for me. Um, so yeah, but like the fear was always there, like, am I gonna publish this? And or is this just for me? Is it is it for me? And it still could be. Like, I don't really know at this point. Like, I self-published it, you know, it's not like I really um like hired an I didn't hire an editor. I used like an AI app to edit it for me. I had my wife look at it, like I had a few friends look at it, but like, no, I didn't go like walls to wall like paying, you know, thousands of dollars for an editor or art or anything or a publisher or anything like that. I was like, this is my story. I'm just gonna put it out there, and if it helps one other person, if it's just me, um, that's so what? Yeah, like a it's a it's a it's a cool thing to do, and it's a story that I think whoever reads it like can get something out of, hopefully.

Vulnerability And Writing As Therapy

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Yeah. And this is just you know, phase one. Yeah, you can get used to say it doesn't get picked up by Simon Schuster. The reality is it it very much could. And I think the most important thing is getting the book out there. Nobody there aren't a lot of books about this, and the ones that are are more how-to. Um shout out to Herb Thompson. His transition book was something that I I always give out to people, I always share it. Uh, it helped me greatly. We have plenty of how-to books, guides, and manuals. What we don't have is a story being told through the lens of an actual service member. Uh now that we know more of the story, when you look back, and you've already said you you peppered yourself in there, you know, what was the most challenging aspect of having to put some of yourself in this book? What was the part where you were like a little hesitant, maybe uh not ready to be vulnerable just yet? You could hide a little bit behind the characters, but at some point as you're putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, you know this is you and you're putting it out.

SPEAKER_05 27:15

Yeah, I I think the the toughest thing was knowing who was going to be reading it. I I knew that, you know, not like you know, that it's may not get any exposure whatsoever, like when I was writing this, what but I know my dad's gonna read it, I know my mom's gonna read it, and my wife's gonna read it, her parents are gonna read it, and you know, some people that are close to us that may not know uh what you know the military was really like, or that I could have language like that I do in the book, you know, like like I have never heard Chad speak like this ever. You know, like where is this coming from? How is he able to put this on, like just type this? Is this what's going on in his head? And he just has like a huge filter that he just sends things out of, and it's like, yes, I do. That is how I think. But yeah, I mean, I knew that that was going to be alarming to, you know, people that I really care about and people that um don't see me necessarily that way, but I felt, you know, I was speaking with my wife about it, you know, who was, you know, obviously nervous too about, you know, some of the topics getting out there about, you know, like drinking and you know, there's some drugs kind of thing. Um, that I just thought that it didn't really matter because of the end goal of what I was trying to do. And by inserting that stuff that makes you vulnerable, it I think it just creates that feeling of trust and that honesty that you need to have in order to for someone to actually like understand what you're trying to do and trying to help. It's not some bullshit story. Yeah, like it's it makes it more real, is what is kind of how I felt about it.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Good. And I have to ask now, the um when we write specifically journaling in the morning, when we reflect at the end of the day, it's therapeutic. It it even if we're writing a bunch of stuff that's you know, you know, we're angry or we're being overly negative, when we put it on paper and look at it, like actually see that and be like, okay, let's reframe that. In this process of writing the book, did you find yourself either reflecting on your actual lived experience or did you find yourself overcoming and reframing some of the things that you struggled with? Was it therapeutic or was it more of a uh reflection and being in shock or looking back and saying, holy cow, I made it through this?

SPEAKER_05 29:34

I think it was probably I would say all of the above, but I would say therap, uh it was therapeutic in a lot of ways. But the the interesting thing was too, because I I definitely had followed a lot of my kind of mental arc uh through my transition out of the out of the army. You know, when I was getting to certain you know points of of writing the book where it was the pit of despair kind of area part of the book, like kind of like I'm it was like messing me up mentally. Like while I'm in the middle of it, even though it didn't happen to me, like it was completely made up, like the characters are made up. But that was the coolest part about writing the book too, is that I was feeling attached to these characters that I was creating. Like as I'm writing it, I knew what was gonna happen, but I still like ah fuck, that sucked. Like I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to write it, but it's like that means it's powerful. Like I, you know, like what I'm doing, if I'm feeling this, writing it, even though I know it's happening, it's like I feel like people are gonna see it as powerful too, which was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Stories shape culture, they build trust, and when they're told the right way, they move people to action. That's what we do at Security Hall Media. We don't just produce content, we create authentic, impactful, and purpose-driven storytelling. Podcasters, nonprofits, brands, and leaders who are on a mission. For people who've lived real experiences and want their message to actually matter, from podcast production and video to strategic storytelling and distribution. We help you clarify your voice, elevate your brand, and connect with the audience you're trying to serve. You have a story worth telling and a purpose behind it. Security Hall Media is here to help you tell it the right way. Click the link in the episode description to learn more today.

SPEAKER_05 31:07

Um, but yeah, I mean, like the therapy aspect of it is like, even though it wasn't, you know, me, I'm you know, not any one character, there was stuff that I saw. There was stuff that I I mentally needed to work through. There's um some you know mistakes that I that I made that, you know, not exact events in there, but that I want people, if I had could talk to my younger self, I could be like, hey, don't do that. Like, hey, look at look at it a certain a certain way. And it's not I can't you can't go back and fix anything, you know, kind of thing. Like, yeah, I've made the made the decisions, I've made mistakes, so is everybody luckily I've I've come out on the other side, you know, definitely on top here. Um, I I don't want people to make this I don't want young men to make the same mistakes that I did. I don't want them to have to go through that. Um, you know, especially I have a son now, you know, too. And I you know, like specifically for him that I don't want him to have to learn the hard lessons, the like the hard way. I want him to just be able to learn them without going through a lot of the pain that me and other people have.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Yeah, but that's that's the tricky part about resilience, right? Like um I talk about it a lot with my wife because you know, like you, um, I'm um I'm a father. And when I see my little one every day, you know, that that you know, she's one and and that smile, that that early morning smile, that that precious, like absolutely precious, just you know, you haven't you haven't experienced life yet. Nothing's ever been shocking to you. But you understand at some point that little girl is gonna grow up. She's gonna have to face a heartbreak. She's gonna have to face all sorts of stuff that's gonna knock her down in order to build her back up. Um, regardless of how badly I want to shield her from the world. If I want her to be strong and resilient, she's gotta face challenges. Like if we if we look at you know, and I think your book serves a purpose wider than just a military audience. I I think that a young man with no inclination to serve in the military can pick up this book and learn a lesson because all of us go through a transition period. And and you know, I I wanna take us into this discussion part, like um you know, there's something to be said about that final challenge, a transition piece. I was just talking to a friend of mine, dear friend, uh great Green Beret, one of the hardest workers I've ever met. And now he's going through his journey. And as much as I want to remove the fear and remove the the the complications, I know that just by uh being there to support him, to be a positive voice, I know he's going he has to face these challenges on himself. He has to be able to face it and go through it. And there's there's something to be said about coming through that backside to be able to look at what you've gone through. But when you look at your transition, specifically your journey, do you feel that you've you went through it and you're stronger and you're better for it? There's some things that challenged you, and now you're on the backside of it and you're like, hey, like it was a struggle, but I'm better for it.

SPEAKER_05 34:18

Yeah, absol absolutely. I think that the short the short answer is yes, I'm I'm better for it. I'm a more complete man, I would say, coming through that. Um, I I had to really learn a lot about myself and and how to make myself a better husband, someone who's capable of being a great father, um, someone who needed to grow up, frankly. Like, you know, I was, you know, being a you know, an SF guy and someone who went straight in from being a frat kid in college. Like, yeah, I was like a go-getter, man. Like I just like I was a young kid who just like thought he could, you know, it was invincible. And there's there's a lot. I mean, sure, there's something to be said for that, like we want confidence and you know, kind of thing, but there was a lot of lessons that I needed to hear. There was a there was a lot of growing up that I needed to do. Um, I think being humbled a lot, um, say in my army career, and then also, you know, like the airborne experience might be that caused me to grow up a ton, like just kind of learning that too. But then, you know, the transition experience that I had um getting out, and you know, I'm sure we'll get into that and like how I overcame a lot of those challenges. I think it it really it really exposed what the kind of the negative influences were on my life and how to just avoid those and how much better you off you are, you know, without them, essentially.

Afghanistan To Microsoft CSP

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Yeah. And and you know, we we gotta we gotta go through it. We gotta unpack this, man. Take us through your transition, brother. Sure.

SPEAKER_05 35:46

So I I was actually in Afghanistan in 2020. So this is during COVID, and this is this is during yeah, and then you guys backfilled us then.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

I left it like one of the last flights out right before everything got locked down.

SPEAKER_05 36:03

Fair enough. Yeah, it was a weird time to be there. And that was my only time being there too, with the uh interesting. Um, yeah, so it was COVID and the election, and yeah, like really, really bizarre time. And uh I don't know, I don't know if you could have a more unique experience over in Afghanistan, but I got to see like they were telling us like the generals saying, like, hey, probably download a Twitter account because you're gonna fear hear about what we are gonna be doing before we do. You know, like I mean, I was there for the uh no the it was the uh no troops by Christmas tweet. Yeah, and that became a fire drill over you know where we were at. And so we're like, oh, we started packing pals, we started like throwing like, all right, yeah, we gotta get out of here. We're doing this. So pretty, pretty interesting. But uh, okay, so the the question was the transition. So this leads into it. So I wound up um like not nothing was going on. We weren't going on any missions at that point. Um, there was, you know, team sergeant and uh my team leader say, like, yeah, let's just start sending people home. Um at that point, my my team sergeant and team leader both knew that I was gonna be getting out of the army, and there was a uh a CSP or like a transition program that I wanted to do um that kind of required me getting home for so I could get out of in a CSP. I forget what the acronym stands for, but it's essentially like a career training transition program to help you get out. Um so I did one through Microsoft and so you did the Microsoft one. It was a great one. It was a great one. And it was like four or five months all day of learning how to code and you know, like that was like half the day, and then half the day was learning how to like, you know, interview properly and network properly and write resumes, that all that fun stuff. Um really good program. Um got me my first taste of working at desk job after being right from Afghanistan. I'm just like jacking steel and shooting guns every day, and I'm just like, oh boy, I don't know if I can do this, man.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

Like I clicked my schemes and Slack channel real quick.

SPEAKER_05 37:57

Uh God, everyone's like, oh yeah, we got this is really like this is war that we're doing. Um so that was my first real taste of it. And then uh we said it was in North Carolina, then we moved out of Florida, um, where I got my first job. And probably six months into that, I was really struggling. Um, I was not having a good time. I was depressed probably again. Um, this sucks. I I said it was six months? Yeah, about six months.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Yeah, I know that that's funny. That's a metric. That's a metric.

SPEAKER_05 38:25

Here is that first year, six months to a year is the most dangerous time. Uh like for suicide-wise, that is what I've seen, which is I mean, it makes sense considering what how I saw it. Um yeah, six months, really, really sad. You know, like I hate this. Like, I hate that I got out. I walked away from something that I was really good at, something I enjoyed. I walked away from a community of of guys that I love and could, you know, shoot the shit with every day, and like the way we would talk to each other, and like you didn't have to be so sensitive with each other, and you can be honest with one another, and like, you know, you can go lift together, you go do all this stuff together, and you're like, you're just boys. Yeah, and it just was not obviously not like that. You know, you have to like you know, pretty up everything you're saying. You have to, you know, ri write and rewrite an email, you know, multiple times so you don't come up like an asshole. Like, uh, it's just it's brutal, brutal, brutal stuff.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

And I do that to this day.

Six-Month Slump And Jiu-Jitsu

SPEAKER_05 39:15

I hate I hate that I do it, but it I mean it's kind of it's nature of the beast, you know? It is. Um so I was like, all right, I luckily I'd like I've said I'm introspective. I know that something's wrong. Like I I can't let this go any further. So I need to find something that kind of gets me back into that mindset of like keeping my edge a little bit. So I found a actually I found a jiu-jitsu gym. Um, I had never done it before. Um, and I just walked in the door and signed up for the first lesson and did like one an hour session, and I was like, yep, this is it, done. Like, and then I just started going. Um, I I I think I trained for like three straight years before I had um our our son, and it's like because of the uh like the timing requirement of going and stuff like that. It's just like it's not good, but I got what I needed out of it, essentially, which was working towards a goal um of like, all right, it's the next belt, it's the next, you know, you know, you know, stripe on your belt kind of thing. Something working towards that because the military, like you have like, oh yeah, we have this next school, we have this this next training exercise, we have this next uh, you know, assignment, next deployment. Everything is like chunked into like sequences that I wasn't getting anywhere else. I wasn't like making progress in my job. It was like, oh, well, yeah, you did really good. We're just gonna pay you a little bit more money like going forward, but nothing's gonna change.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

Um we're goal-oriented creatures, man. Like there's something I tell guys like we need challenges, we need goals, and we need to understand that we're people that are deeply connected to being of service to others. Like I those are themes that are carried out throughout the entirety of this podcast. Uh, almost every guest, it it's always brought back to that. Like we have to do the deep work to understand who we are and understand that what you've spent your majority of your adult life doing was taking care, mentoring, being there for other people, having goals, chasing down insane, crazy objectives and then accomplishing them with a team. So if you look and understand what you've done in the military, and it's not just soft guys, it's every service member. If you look, even our, like I said, our our our MOSs that don't get a lot of love are our our pack clerks, our individuals that are out there working in the office. You're still part of a team. You're still chasing things down together with somebody you're still going after and accomplished goals and you're still being of service to others. Is that if you make it to being an NCO, it's deeply connected in your DNA, being of service to others. Don't put it off, even if it's not directly connected to what you're doing in your next chapter, find a way to get back. Being a mentor is incredibly rewarding, man. And I'm telling you, if not right now, make it a priority in the next couple months, in the next year or two. So I'm telling you, when you help somebody else, when you give them that clarity that you were lacking, when you're able to give the words that put spirit and fire back in somebody like you wish somebody had done for you, telling you it's the greatest day of your life. I mean, you'll be taking that high every single day.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

Yeah, yeah. Feel that.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Feel that. Yeah. So going into your journey, man, like when did you feel like what were some of the things that you started leaning on besides jujitsu? Kind of got you to that point where you're like, okay, now I'm about 70%. I feel like I'm back to a better version of myself.

Purpose Beyond The 9 To 5

SPEAKER_05 42:30

Um, yeah, I mean, jujitsu really helped a lot just because you know, I was getting that like kind of locker room aspect of there, of like I was having like, you know, guys that kind of like, you know, same, same-minded, like they were doing a combat sport kind of thing. Like they're you know it was like just kind of shooting the shit with them and talking with them, just getting that out. Like, because I work remotely too, so I'm not even in an office, you know. So I like I'm I'm talking to a computer screen like how we're doing now, but at least we have our cameras on kind of thing, where it's not the case a lot of the time. So I'm just talking to a blank bubble on a screen all day. So you needed, I needed that like personal like interaction with somebody. Um, and just getting, I guess the easiest way to getting my willies out, you know, just like rolling on the mat and you know, getting the shipping out of me, or you know, kind of you know, submitting to somebody else. Like it was just like, all right, you walk out of there, like, all right, yeah, I feel I feel live a little bit, I feel better. Like, all right, we can go and face the the day tomorrow. Um, I mean, just kind of going back, I think it was really um understanding that what you do, I mean, the the army has like I talk about identity a lot and your purpose in life. The army has a way of hijacking that. I I would say like essentially. And and it's easy to do, it's by design because they want it, they're like, you are their resource, you are a weapon, you are like they need you to be the best soldier that you can possibly be. Totally understand that. Um, but it's not great for doing something else outside of it. Once you once you've been you know entrenched in that. was a so the story that I wanted to talk about, the Barra in the Barracks, of how when you're in lower listing guy, you really cannot escape it ever. Um so when I was at when I was at Fort Bliss, I was uh I think it was a weekend Saturday morning, um I just wake up like probably a little bit hung over from going to the bar like on Friday night. And I wake up to like the Barracks NCO just sitting on my bed in full uniform. Like just hello sitting on my bed. My door was closed and it was just on my bed and he's like he puts his like just kind of taps me and he's like hey we're doing an inspection we got the dogs coming through the entire building we need to get up and I'm just like and uh yeah so that like see you're just never like someone has access to you at all points. It doesn't matter like you know so you you really like that is your purpose. That's your identity you're you are the Bravo right rifleman or the you know the rear right rifleman in a you know B team and that's you that is that is you so when you get out you lose that and that's that purpose void is where a lot of people get into trouble. They try it tries to fill in a vacuum um essentially and so I the identity of what I'm getting to is that your job doesn't matter. You know like you know you could say that um I mean if you're like you're working in the oncology department at a at a hospital or if you're a police officer or something like that. Yeah you have like some real tangible benefits to society and maybe yourself that are are providing real value in the world. But a lot of jobs are not like that specifically mine. Like I'm working in technology sure we get to do some like cool stuff with AI but like nothing I'm doing is is life saving by any means. So like if I find myself getting like super stressed out or you know pissed off at at this that's just I'm getting paid for a reason kind of thing like you're not really supposed to like it or you know feel it that way or um I found myself taking ownership of stuff that I shouldn't have like it really doesn't matter at the end of the day whereas like you know in the army like you have to take ownership of yourself because otherwise people could die. Like you know if especially as a medic like I had to be the best if I if I failed if I couldn't find an answer like that was on me versus now like it really doesn't matter. Like it just it just doesn't and that was an interesting like kind of change when I realized that I was outperforming everybody anyway. I wasn't going to move up the ranks any faster just because I was doing way more than anybody and it was stressing me out and it it just it wasn't good for my mental health so I just tried to had have like a take a step back and realize that it was it's just there because I want to I have to make money to support my family. Like that's it. Like you you don't have to see it as anything more there doesn't need to be like another greater meaning to it say that greater purpose again right now for the audience. Say that part again what you do from nine to five does not have to have a greater meaning or purpose. Doesn't it like because what you're doing it for is the stuff that does need your full attention it needs your mental energy and that is your family.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

That I mean that shouldn't be it's not it's not the and that's what messes so many of our brothers and sisters um I'm guilty of it too I I take on new clients and I'm like I'm gonna make it my no it's not a mission this and I I tell guys even entrepreneurs even business owners look at your mission statement write out a contract that has KPIs that states what you're doing that states exactly give yourself an understanding because right now if you're killing yourself every night every single day what are you giving for your what what are you saving for your family? What are you saving for the for the people that you you want to to be there for every job has to have an understanding of what are the the deliverables what do you have to to present that day I know I know I'm saying it because I need to hear it because I still do it.

SPEAKER_05 47:57

I still do it too I'm talking about I wrote a book about it we're talking about a podcast I did it today.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

I don't know because we we have to continue to tell ourselves so we can hold ourselves accountable so we can because I you know it worked it does work repetition and talking about it and normalizing does work I understand there's days where you have to give more there's days where you have to do certain things but not every day not every day because you're no longer part of the mission you're no longer getting on that C-130 C17 to go fight the Mongolian horde at the next battlefield exactly exactly you got to have something for your kids for your wife for your your your parents and and the people that you love and hold dear man yeah absolutely and dare I say for your friends when they reach out for support because I'll tell you what when your cups bone dry when you can't that's the worst feeling on earth when somebody calls you and you know they need the best version of yourself to help them out to point them in the right direction but you're bone tired.

SPEAKER_05 48:57

You're you haven't eaten for two days and you're just yeah no everything's gonna be fine man it's it's fine it's fine dude which leads me to this man now you completed the book you self-published it which is no easy feat how do you take care of yourself how are you showing up for yourself uh so I mean you gotta keep yourself physically physically fit and and like you got to eat right you got to work out because like if you're not that ties back to the military aspect like if you can't take care of yourself you're not gonna be able to take care of anybody around like it just you know I need to my purpose in life is taking care of my my wife my son and my soon to be daughter who is on her way too yeah I know got number two on the way and like if I'm not okay like I I've had like a health scare like recently but it was like kind of a like a genetic thing kind of thing like nothing I could have done to prevent it but I got it fixed like a lot of people wouldn't you know kind of thing they would just be like nah deal with it I mean it was like it's fine like whatever um I was like nah I'm not I'm dealing with um when I'm young when I'm in shape like we're gonna knock this out so I can focus on what is important and what my family needs me to be is to is to take care of that. And knowing that that is my purpose and just like clear eyed about what I'm supposed to do in this world is it may it puts everything else in in perspective. Like it really does like everything that I do has to serve that goal. Otherwise like it can slip like it really doesn't matter.

Fitness As A Mental Reset

Five Tips For A Better Transition

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Absolutely man that's the the absolute truth man um we have to champion that idea man like you gotta pour back in yourself. You have to do these things I'm a big champion right now for for physical fitness because it is part of mental well being like we want to talk about what can help you right now if you're feeling depressed if you're dealing with rumination if you're dealing with anxiety which are some of the top three often enough when I talk to people that's like the very like at the very top I'm depressed I'm going through uh I can't stop thinking about this problem set or this situation and it's given my anxiety it's like all right go out there and go for a run if you can run go for a row go to your gym right now and go do go go get on the stairclimber. Just do 30 minutes on that. Tell me if you're still thinking about that problem. Fuck no like you have to force yourself to get back into physical fitness. It was part of your life every day the moment you woke up you were driving or walking out to that parade field to go do PT we have to understand that look give yourself grace you got out of the military you didn't stay stay on top of it now you're starting to get back get back into it from ground zero have realistic expectations you don't have the body of a 20 year old you don't have the physical fitness level that you had when you were first in the military that's okay it's better to be going towards something at day one than saying one day. Right one day make tomorrow day one start with a jog start with a walk or you will get so much more out of your productivity in your day-to-day life if you start your day in your morning with just a simple walk or incorporate some part of your day that's when I get my best thoughts that's when I'm able to actually think that's when I'm able to sit down and just not be in front of a computer just go for that walk go for it like get that walk in go to the gym and you'll start seeing those gains translate not in just your physical form but in your mental well-being too I'm telling you guys please and shameless plug join our whoop community get into Project Forge and if you don't have a whoop it's okay I got you big dog follow me on Instagram or follow the Special Forces Foundation on Instagram because that's where I'm gonna drop the information for the next giveaway. I don't care how much money I put in for my personal account and my business account to get you motherfuckers some whoop straps it works and I'm willing to do it because I'm a dog shit entrepreneur. As long as we agree baby I'm gonna keep doing it bookkeeper says not to do anymore, but I'm gonna keep doing it because I think bringing you into a community where you can at least see other people there are are chasing greatness whether it's maxing out your steps for the day or maxing out your recovery it's important to get back into it. It's such a big part of our lives when we're in the military and we need to make it a big part as we continue to move on in our second chapter. That's my thing I experienced it because I I dealt with it too where not every green beret gets out and goes into being a physical fitness coach. Not every green beret or ranger or seal gets out and goes into being a tactical coach. Some of us friggin' do fall by the wayside but it's important that we all remind each other to get back in the gym get back in the fight. And and for you you know before we close out you know if you could give our audience your your top five tips for transition what would they be?

SPEAKER_05 54:01

Top five tips for transition I would say number one is be easy on yourself. Definitely like show yourself grace like throughout the entire process because you're not going to have it figured out you're you're not like you're going through something that is not easy like by any means by any shape or form like the the resources that you're given to get out of the the military are not good to to be like brutally honest about they're just not and even if they were better they're not good enough for your individual situation. Like everybody is unique in that way that like you just got to show yourself a little bit of grace. Be easy on yourself. Like it's not the military anymore. This is like that first part of that transition to like hey that my what I do right now is not life or death. It's like I just got to you know get make a little bit more progress here today. Number two I would say is you want to you're gonna probably get away from the goal oriented nature of being in the military. So find something that you could actually set goals to like set tangible goals to so jujitsu was one that I did that you know like all right well yeah you have a next belt that you can achieve kind of thing and I know that in six months I'll be able to get there. And if I go this many classes a week I'll be able to get to that next belt. If that doesn't work for you kind of thing um like it didn't for me like I had to take a step away because of um you know some family you know family requirements obviously they require my time more than jujitsu does um set goals at the gym like it be like hey I want to go bench 225 or something like that and be like you know get a have AI write you a a plan to do that you know or have a trainer do it for you like whatever whatever you want to do. Have a tangible goal that you can work towards it'll be more motivating to get to the gym or to work out if you have something like oh I'm working towards this one thing that I did was I trained for a 10K. You know like it wasn't to you know it was like a long enough run that you couldn't roll out of bed and just do it if you haven't really been running but like you know it wasn't like a half marathon or a marathon any because I don't really like running anyway. But it was like yeah 10K seems all right you know so you know train for it and like actually did pretty well it wasn't like my normal standards when I was in you know SF, but you know like not bad. Like it felt good to to like do it and run like a decent time and you know set that goal and accomplish it. So uh number two is set goals like you know find an activity that you can set goals. Number three is understand what is actually important in your life. If you have a family if you if you're married you have kids like know that everything you do has to be with them at the forefront. Like it they have to be the the absolute foundation of everything that you do. Every decision that you make needs to be because it's better for your home like situation. If you're not married um if you don't have kids if you're not married work on that because that is what makes like you would having kids I'm telling you is is been such an incredible experience for me. It's like it's so hard to describe someone who doesn't have kids like you just they wouldn't get it kind of thing. But when you do like your heart like just explodes of like you never knew that I was like this capable of loving somebody and like I don't provided a lot of perspective. So you know just understand like what's important in life the job the work the job that you're doing like it's important to a certain extent because you have to keep it in order to you know continue making money but leave it at that um okay so number four let's see yeah just keep yourself right keep yourself physically right um because I mean it's obviously you want to live long for you know your family around you and you want to be physically capable. I want to beat my my son at every sport as long as I possibly can you know I think that would be great. And I want my dad to go to school and be like hey my dad can beat up your dad. You know like I want I want that to to be a part of it. You know uh but also it's just like it keeps you mentally right too because like if you're taking care of yourself, you know that you can take care of other people. I think that that um you know coming from a military background especially like it's selection like you're going through team week or something like that where you if you focus on trying to help other people out like giving other people a break like getting them off the apparatus like you stop thinking about you and your old per like how hard or how bad your shoulders hurt or your back hurts or your feet hurt kind of thing if you're just focusing on like well I got to give him a break. I gotta make he's been on there for forever I got to get on the apparatus now. I think it's similar like if you're focusing on being like as fully capable of taking care of the people that you care about like around you, you stop really thinking about what's what's going on with you kind of thing as much. And I I I found that to be effective. And then I guess lastly um I don't know maybe I just have four let me try to think of one avoid avoid the external influences the bad influence as much as you possibly can I I know like I mean I I personally I love drinking like you know like I I get it like that's you know I used I used to gamble off and on not nothing like too crazy. I stalked like when I you know I had a kid um but like that can get you into trouble you know if you if you don't watch it understand what your vices are and what could really get you into trouble. And if it's something that could really mess up your entire life you just nip it in the butt. Get rid of it.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

Yeah absolutely yeah and dead on those are solid pro tips Chad um before we go where can people get your books and how can we connect with you?

SPEAKER_05 59:25

Sure. So the book is available on Amazon I publish through they have a great publishing program. They let you do everything yourself. So it's just on Amazon you search now what by Chad Speedback it's available in paperback and Kindle. I also have an author page uh which is ChadSpeedbackauthor and you can find all of my my socials from there it has you know previous podcast appearance like a little bit of the bio like um and it's an explanation of the book kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

All right folks you know what to do it's the end of the episode you know the spiel go to the episode description click those links connect with Chad and uh you know get his book maybe it's not for you but maybe for a friend or a young man that's uh having a hard time as he's transitioning into some difficult times in his life um this book can I I feel like it can definitely be utilized not just for our military but anybody that's finding it difficult you know as they're moving from one chapter in life to another so please give it a give it a bye give it a click download it I know most of you knuckleheads don't read hard books anymore but I challenge you get a physical copy you know the ability to fold a page crease it carry it with you on a journey or a trip and reflect on it do it don't wait check it out chad again thank you for being here to everybody tuning for having guys absolutely man um it is absolutely important to support our brothers that are out there doing great things giving back to community by creating something whether it's a a book a movie a podcast or something you created something you poured yourself into into a gift for all of us to consume so I'll be supporting your work uh not downloading it I'm gonna get the real thing because I like reading it's all back there look at that taught myself how to read again many of us after a career in SF you've got to give up on those things and you want everything to be an audio book but I'm telling you my last little tidbit for you guys on this episode force yourself to pick up a book and read even if it's for 10 minutes a day force yourself to do it. And before you know it you're gonna be like me pissing your wife off because you got another 15 books coming from Amazon hey if that's the worst thing I do thank you so much brother thank you all for tuning in we'll see y'all next time till then take care