Security Halt!

Clay Martin on Psilocybin, Veteran Trauma & Breaking the Tough Guy Culture in Mental Health

• Deny Caballero • Season 7 • Episode 355

Share episode

Let us know what you think! Text us!

What if the key to healing veteran trauma wasn’t another prescription—but a return to nature, community, and authenticity?

In this bold and deeply personal episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero speaks with Clay Martin, a veteran, author, and advocate for alternative healing, about the real mental health crisis facing the military community—and what it takes to break free from the destructive “tough guy” culture that keeps so many suffering in silence.

Clay shares his journey from special operations to the edge of personal destruction, and how psilocybin, community, and radical honesty helped him begin the path to healing.

In this episode:

  • The silent war veterans fight long after the battlefield
  • How psilocybin and other psychedelics are emerging as tools for healing trauma
  • Why authenticity and vulnerability are more powerful than bravado
  • The vision behind Clay’s plan to build a psychedelic church for veterans
  • How military culture needs to evolve to support real mental health

This conversation is raw, unapologetic, and packed with insight for veterans, families, and anyone ready to explore what healing truly looks like—beyond medication, stigma, or silence.

 

🎧 Available now on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts
 📲 Like, share, follow, and subscribe to support the mission of authentic veteran storytelling and mental health advocacy.

 

SPONSORED BY:

 

PURE LIBERTY LABS

Use code: SECURITY_HALT_10

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/purelibertylabs/

Website: https://purelibertylabs.com/

TITAN SARMS

Use code: CDENNY10

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/titan_performance_llc/

Website: https://www.titansarms.com 

PRECISION WELLNESS GROUP
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/precisionwellnessgroup/

Website: https://www.precisionwellnessgroup.com/

SPECIAL FORCES FOUNDATION
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/specialforcesfoundation_/
Website: https://specialforcesfoundation.org/
Request Help: https://specialforcesfoundation.org/get-support/

 

Looking for hand crafted, custom work, military memorabilia or need something laser engraved? Connect with my good friend Eric Gilgenast.

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/haus_gilgenast_woodworks_main/

Website: https://www.hausgilgenastwoodworks.com/

 Instagram: @securityhalt

X: @SecurityHalt

Tik Tok: @security.halt.pod

LinkedIn: Deny Caballero

 

Follow Clay Today:

Website: https://www.wrathofthewendigo.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claymartinactual/?hl=

Support the show

Produced by Security Halt Media

SPEAKER_00:

Position wellness group at Pure Liberty Lab. We do this shit like we would do it in the team room, live unscripted. I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna pretend I'm with Gans right now, so I gotta have this fucking smoke.

SPEAKER_00:

Man, that's that's an old school thing, dude. And all the kids are now all about Zen, man. It's all it's all about uh clean living. And there's something to be said for that. But uh, you know, someone once said a man's gotta have a vice. And uh mine's certainly swearing these days. I don't drink anymore.

SPEAKER_02:

Good for you, man. Dude, I quit, I quit too. And uh that's actually one of the healthiest decisions I've ever made.

SPEAKER_00:

Dude, absolutely, man. I say it all the time. I say it all the time, man. I I championed the idea of thinking for yourself. We, for a vast majority of us, we start drinking when we're very young in high school because we see other guys, other other individuals that are influential, do it. And we tell ourselves it's a cool thing to do. I've never enjoyed the taste of Budweiser, I've never enjoyed the taste of Cooler's Light. I don't fucking get it. But I drank because that's what we did.

SPEAKER_02:

But dude, it gets it gets so much worse in the military, man. I never drink until I was in. And I was, man, I've talked to this about this with a couple of our veteran buddies. That's the only drug we have that's acceptable. It's the only one. It's totally fucking illegal. And so we end up at a point where we're fucking overdoing it, where from my position, man, weed is better for you. Uh the mushrooms and shit that I do are certainly fucking better for you. Uh alcohol is, I mean, it's a fucking awful, awful drug.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it is. Absolutely, man. Uh, and the DOD just went off on um psilocybin. They're they're now incorporating a panel for piss tests for psilocybin. Oh no, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, it's absolutely stupid. I don't I don't understand it. It's one of the few compounds, one of the few things out there that that that it's been known and studied can help prepare your brain, it can help you uh, you know, get over so many things in our lives, and they just want to fucking say, no, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's funny that this is running like directly counter to what I'm doing now, which is helping veterans psilocybin. But dude, I'm the same way. You know, I would have thought that if you just told me five years ago, like this is I'd be like, nah, that's no, hell no. Hallucinogens, fucking it's terrible, it's all bad shit. It's like fuck, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

The dare culture, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, exactly, bro. Exactly. And then you just gotta be around it a little bit, and you're like, you know what? This is actually the same as we. Uh, I remember one of my first buddies that got out, he was a he was our 18 Delta. Fuck it, I'm gonna say his name. His name was Dr. He called himself Dr. Franco. Anyway, he's out, he he got like 11 years and shit, so he's fucking toking it up. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck, man? And he's like, hey, bro, this is how I treat my PTSD, and uh side effects may include chilling the fuck out. He's fucking totally right, man.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. Fucking totally right. Absolutely. Clay Martin, welcome to Security Ob Podcast, brother. Um, you're one of the few voices that I found on on Twitter, on X, sorry, Elon, that um you come across completely authentic. But the thing that stuck out to me was you're a writer, you're an advocate for psilocybin, and you're somebody that's not afraid to sit up, talk, and engage. And if you're wrong, you come out and you say you're wrong. Um, which in today's world is fucking batshit crazy. So today, my man, I wanna dag, I want to dive into your journey. I wanna, and I always start off with, man, like, how did you like take us through your journey as a young man? How did you find yourself in the military and then eventually get that green beret?

SPEAKER_02:

Fuck, bro. So uh I I just told a lot of this in fucking detail uh on a on Jocko's show, which is a fucking great. But basically, I'm gonna say, you know, I came up a very rough upbringing, you know, the abuse of the household and shit. So my thinking on the military was like, I was like, I need to do something to be a badass. Like, I need somebody to show me the fucking murder magic. Like, I need some fucking hard ass motherfuckers and you wanted to be able to fight like Jean-Claude or something. I don't know. Fuck, it's honest, dude. We grew up on action movies in the 80s. You know we did. We should like it was the fucking gospel.

SPEAKER_00:

Fucking bloodsport and time cop, baby.

SPEAKER_02:

Hell yeah, dude. Like when you're like 16 or 17, you're like doing the notepad, you're like, okay, Chuck Norris was in Delta Force. That was pretty cool. All right, uh, but then Jean-Claude was a force recon guy. He was pretty cool too. So this is how we make our decisions, right? Fuck fucking Charlie Sheen. But uh anyway, that's how it came about for me. Uh, and that's kind of a weird fucking path, but it's not as weird as most people might think. Uh in fact, I would go ahead and say, you know, dude, I I don't know you from fucking Adam. I came on the show because I saw you're a fucking fellow Grimberay. We take care of our fucking boys. Uh so you know, I knew we're gonna have a fucking awesome time. But uh my guess from my you know, fucking shit is like probably three out of five soft guys came from some kind of fucked up background. Yeah. Gangbangers or abusive household or some kind of fucked up shit. Yep. And uh in a lot of ways, man, it's it sucks, but that's kind of who that's who makes that's what makes us who we are.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Adversity breeds greatness more often than not in our guys. Like there is there is the you can go the opposite side too, right? You can become a criminal, you can become a violent guy professional. But for a vast majority of us, we go on the other side. We want to be the protector, we want to be the absolute best of the best. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

And I I'll even say this this is again, this is very unscientific, but I would be interested in your thoughts since you're from the from the background too. My feeling is those two out of five that don't come from the fucked up background, usually those are the guys like really truly excel though. That's where most of the tier ones come from, in my opinion. That's the guys that are like, you know, I don't know what the fucking group CSM now come from. Uh because they're not carrying those same skeletons, the same fucking demons we are. So you can get there also being, you know, just Johnny fucking all the quarterback.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what? One of the craziest uh stats, one of the leading indicators of like guys that will go on to have careers, prolific careers in tier one or in like Navy SEALs, Eagle Scouts. No shit. Yeah, Eagle Scouts. Those guys are all fucking nerds. Exactly. Straight arrow kids that have this very like think about it, how long it takes to acquire that Cub Scouts, regular Boy Scouts, and all the things you have to do to follow that line. And that is one of the one of the demographics they're one of the statistics that uh have shown like they produce a high quantity of individuals that find themselves in those uh high performers within special operations, you'll see them. Uh so it can go it can it it can go the other way too. Uh yeah, no, it definitely can't.

SPEAKER_02:

I've I've I've always maintained that our our absolute best, our like best best, are like 90% the guys that came from the good place. Yeah, the rest of us nuggets that fill out the ranks and do all kinds of fucking psycho shit. Well, we're we're fuck-ups, but we came from some fucking bullshit. But you know what, we're still good at it, so you know it counts. Exactly.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

But uh yeah, man, it's fucking it's been fucking wild. And uh that's that's honestly that's part of what I'm doing now with uh with my shit. And I'll I'll get to that. Let me let me continue on with my podcast. Yeah. Oh dude, brother, I've never been asked what group you're in. I know effectively had a lot of seventh group. Oh shit, okay. All right, yeah. Dante está Elban. I did my first I did my first tour in Panama. How old are you? Okay, okay. Yeah, I am. I'm I'm I'm 41.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

No, it's wild. We uh brother, we do end up with you know this also from being in the fucking arm. We end up with a lot of our our brothers from the we got little Korea. I knew a lot of SF guys are half Korean. Uh, my buddy John Guerra, that I talked about, he got his tab revoked and all this crazy. There's a guy that I went plaid on when I was uh shit talking to somebody else. But John Guerra was a fucking awesome fucking war hero gangster ass, but he's Panamanian too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

No shit.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, we yes, there's quite a few brothers from uh from Panama. It's fucking wild.

SPEAKER_00:

TJ, he's Panamanian too. And um, yeah, it's it's crazy. I got a wild story myself. We won't dive into that right now. But yeah, I am uh not uh I had to decline my citizenship to go SS. One of the things that I I feel weird about is like, why doesn't our government have to do the same thing? Like you can be a government leader, you shouldn't be Israel. See, this is what happens. We get off top. We get off fucking top. Now the show just got canceled. I can't say anything about it about Israel. Riverside is owned by the Israelis, they will take this fucker down.

SPEAKER_02:

My fucking credit score just fell 300 points. Fuck, man. Come on. I gotta go. I got shit to do. My my All right. My mortgage just got bought out by BlackRock. All right. I fucking overdo it the synagogue. I cut the grass every week. The fuck out of here. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh, this is gonna be bad. This is gonna be none of it. We can't use any of this. We just gotta start over and fucking.

SPEAKER_00:

He's uh, you fucking do it. Keep going. Keep going.

SPEAKER_02:

All right. Well, let me let me at least try to answer the fucking question so I give the audience something. Okay, so yeah, rough child water bullshit. I go to the Marine Corps first, uh, because that's you know what you fucking do. Uh I don't regret that at all because the Marine Corps was fucking awesome in a lot of ways, but also we got kicked square in the fucking balls as recon Marines. Uh, this is shit the interview.

SPEAKER_00:

You were a recon Marine.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh yeah, hell yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh shit, dude.

SPEAKER_02:

You Earl Plumley, another recon. Oh fuck, Earl Plumley was a recon. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit. All I know, dude, I went over and I did a contract for the Marine Corps, but I hung out with a lot of first group dudes. There was like seven, eight dudes over there that were fucking recon Marines too. Well, this is a thing that people I didn't understand, and people didn't understand going into this. Uh, back when they formed SOCOM, the Marine Corps asked for an exclusion, which was probably not a big deal in 1995. Well, it fucked us in 2001. Uh, because all of a sudden, you know, fucking Army, Navy, Air Force, they all got generals and like this whole fucking structure change. We got absolutely fucking lamp back. We got we got fucked so hard. So uh so a lot of us left. It was a huge fucking percentage. It was something like probably like 60% of the recon marines in the world quit after 2003. Holy shit. Yeah, dude, it was nuts. Uh so dudes were going to the SEALs. Uh when I went to SF selection, there were like there's only like 300 recon Marines in the whole fucking world anyway. There's not this a small force, so it's a small number. There were like 10 fucking guys that I haven't seen in like years. There were recon Marines in my selection class. Like, fucking Bobby Jim, what the fuck? It's like a fucking reunion. Reunion. Yeah, yeah. I'll end up on an ODA later that has two or three other recon marines on it. Yeah, it was like we were the best thing that ever happened in the army. We were like, hey, we're mostly fucking semi-trained and qualified. We'd be on your team, they're like, fuck yeah, dog, come on. Yeah, absolutely true, man. So uh so basically to make a long story short, yeah, we got fucked pretty hard. OF1 was dog shit for us. Like, we didn't do nothing, it was fucking terrible. Uh so around that time we were all looking for an exit strategy. Uh, best exit strategy that there was that I saw was uh 19th Special Forces Group, actually. Yeah, you know, if you're active duty Marine, fucking you cross right over. No basic training, no bullshit. And so 30 days later I'm a selection. I mean, I'm in 19th group, 30 days after the fucking Marine Corps at selection, and off we fucking go. Damn.

SPEAKER_00:

And did you do your entire time in 19th?

SPEAKER_02:

No, I didn't. Uh so I did the Q corps, I did one deployment 19th. Uh, when you're when you're a National Guard guy and you're on active duty orders, you can transfer to active duty as long as you're like overseas. So I did that. I transferred, I went to third group after that. Nice, nice. I did like third. Dude, I love fucking third, man. Fucking third was so fucking cool. And uh I it it mostly be it's like this for me, because I got to be a new guy twice. When I was in 19th, they attached this to 10th group. So I was basically a tenth group new guy. Uh, I even I was actually on a tenth group team for the first like month I was in country. I wasn't even on one of my own ODAs. And every group has its own culture, and there's nothing wrong with any of them. They just they're just all different. Uh 10th group was very much this like nerd ass fucking bad Tolts, fucking pointy shoe wearing. They were just total dicks to do guys, right? So I've actually been to the fucking war before too, and these motherfuckers that have been a country for like three, hey, you fucking do a mission you're on the team of bottle, like all this fucking bullshit. And uh, you know, you can't go to our team meetings. Like, okay, motherfucker, whatever. Do the tour over there, do some cool shit or whatever. Check in a third group, totally fucking different culture, man. Totally fucking different culture. They can't tell me, because we actually got a number of new guys like straight from the Q-Corps at the same time. They can't tell me from anybody else. I mean, yeah, I got an SF combat passport and fucking uniforms, maybe, but nobody really gives a fuck. But my team was totally fucking cool, man. And I went to the SIF. I went straight to the SIF. Oh, no shit. Yeah, weird thing. You're not supposed to be able to, it's not supposed to happen, right? Yeah. Well, third group SIF was hurting real bad on bodies right then. And the dude across the street from me happened to be a fucking ODA commander down there. Like that I bought my house across the street from. So uh he's like, I go to check in a group, and fortunately, also I knew some support guys. The support dude's like, hey man, next six, next six echoes I check in here to go to the SIG debt. I'm like, oh fuck. So I I got like 30 days of my going the fuck home. Like I, you know, and I'm like I'm like plotting, I'm like, is there a Q course graduation, like some other bullshit? Uh anyway, bump into my neighbor and he's like, oh dude, that's fucking awful. He's like, but the SIF right now is hurting real bad at third group. Uh hurting enough that with your you know, pre-qualifications, being a sniper in the Marine Corps, and you've already got some ODA time, uh, they might fucking take it. So uh I do. He sends me an interview, I go down, fucking talk to the target major. They're like, okay, fucking, you know, whatever. You've checked half the blocks here anyway, so good enough. Buggle aboard. But even stepping like straight into the fucking third Sith man, they were cool as fuck. Now they want performance, you know, you're gonna have to fuck put out. Nobody, nobody gave you a rash about being the fucking new guy. It was none of this, you gotta take the trash out first for six months. Everybody was just fucking totally cool. I'm Jeff, Bob, Jim, whoever this fucking senior. Don't fuck up, we'll put your shit in the hallway. That's it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, let's go. Yeah. This episode is also brought to you by Precision Wellness Group. Getting your hormones optimized shouldn't be a difficult task. And Dr. Taylor Bosley has changed the game. Head on over to Precision Wellness Group.com, enroll, and become a patient today. Yeah. That's a different culture, Pete. I don't I don't think uh Jim, the banker down the street, gets gets the feeling of that on Monday morning when he checks in, like you fuck up. We're gonna shit in your conticos and then we're gonna put your shit out in the hall.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. But it won't be personal. We'll just, you know, we gotta make room for something that doesn't suck. Like, oh, okay. All right.

SPEAKER_00:

Fair enough. All right. Oh man. So did you did you get a shot of going to the Sephardic or Yeah?

SPEAKER_02:

So I I fucking lucked out, bro. Like my career up until that point had been, like, I'm gonna be honest with pretty shitty. Like, yeah, I've got to go to like a lot of schools and shit, but I'd like I'd always been in the fucking wrong place at the right time, if you will. Uh so walk into the fucking Sif and they're like, okay, fucking, yeah, can you shoot? I'm like, well, better learn because you're going to Sephardic like two weeks from now. So I did in in rapid sequence, I did uh Todd Hodd and I had down at Accuracy First, which is fantastic because he actually taught me how to shoot his backwards. That was the first time the Sif had ever gone. I just like checked in like the Monday before we'd left. Lucky, dude. So I gotta do that. Like the day we come back from that, I'm in Sephalic, so I can learn how to do CQB real quick. Fucking, we don't even finish that. We're like four weeks into it, and they pull me and two or three other dudes, give us a Sephoratic slot. Let's go to fucking Sephoratic. Like, okay, this is amazing. Pass, like, oh fuck, man, I got like the fucking G.I. Joe black belt. Like, uh, you know, yeah, it's like that's a big one. Like, you get that when you're like a fucking made man. Uh, this also means I'm not gonna lose my job at the CIF because that was a precondition. They're like, hey, look, man, fucking we'll put your name on the locker, but it's in you know, blue tape until you get a sephora. There's an asterisk. Yeah, there's an asterisk.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

So uh so fucking pass that, uh, get back from that, my team started like, hey, check it out, man. Uh, we got Halo slots coming up, or we got Sodic slots. You're on a sniper team, so Maureen Scott Sniper doesn't count, like you still had to get Sodic. Well, he's like, but check it out. They just it was like the first or second class they did the shoot-ins. He's like, check it out. If you go on standby and you sh if somebody doesn't shoot in and you do, and so I did, man, I fucking stole somebody's slot. I remember what the fuck is like you shoot an M4 and it's like five groups, three out of five after some bullshit. And it was like the first time they'd done it, so a lot of guys weren't ready. I passed that and uh stole somebody's slot. Next thing I know I'm in fucking Sodic, too. So like that was my train-up was Todd Hunet, Sephalic, Sephardic, Sodic. And then like a week later, we're going to Baghdad.

SPEAKER_00:

Fuck me, dude. That is. It was awesome. It was God shine a light on you. He did that time. That that fucking time for sure. Damn. See, you finally get get qualified. You're full. I mean, no, take the asterisk off. Yeah, you're back.

SPEAKER_02:

Full of fucking real boy. And uh holy fuck, man. So uh so I'm still the fucking new guy, but I'm qualified, so that's fucking neat. Uh, but I've never rolled with these guys either. You know what I mean? Like, I just I just fucking learned how like two weeks ago. Like they wouldn't even live in the fucking house before. That's how the sifts work. Like, you know, Spark we came in the fucking house. So uh we're like, we're in fucking Baghdad, and uh, I was just there the year before too. I was I fought 06 in 19th group. So it's not like I'm a stranger to fucking Iraq or anything. But uh dude, we have not even done like the fucking handoff fully with uh first group who we're replacing. We're like still living in the fucking, you know, cots out in the fucking whatever, and our guys tents.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, transient tent shit.

SPEAKER_02:

And our dudes are like, it's fucking on, let's fucking get it, and uh go to like fucking Karbala the first night. Uh XO Kinsel Hun gets fucking shot through both femurs, like all fucking psycho, it's crazy shit. Fucking gunship coming in, fucking burning everything down. And I'm like, what in the fuck is this shit? The biggest element I've ever fought with at this point in my life too is like we were a split team ODA when I was in 19, so we had like 20 judges. So I've been in like, you know, 20 guys. This is like a full troop of the ICTF, like a hundred little brown guys, like 50 or 60 of us, and it's just I mean, it's fucking chaos. And I'm like, these motherfuckers are on some different shit. Like, I'm gonna have to run to keep up. And uh it was, it was amazing. That oh that 07 trip in Baghdad was I mean, it was fucking.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that was uh surge, surge timeline. Yeah, yeah. That was right when the surge was happening. Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. You make it back from that safe and sound. What was next for you on the list? Mostly.

SPEAKER_02:

Actually, man, we uh we did get put through a fucking pretty good meek rider there. We we actually had when I finally calculated it up one time, we had like a one-third casual. Like we got fucking shut up. Uh dudes were getting fucking shredded. We only had like one guy die that was American, but we I mean our guys were getting fucked up. Uh, one dude on our troop, he got three legitimate purple hearts in like three weeks. The third one they were finally like, you gotta go home, man. Like, we you're just like bad. There's some bad luck around you. Yeah, yeah. Like, your shit is not okay. There were multiple other dudes that got too. We're like, what the fuck? They actually had to fly the cephalic committee over to backfill us because we were out of, you know, where's he gonna get some hard qualified dudes from? Yeah, yeah, we're out of fucking dudes. Uh I shredded this shoulder, which would uh end up haunting me later. Uh but yeah, we make it back and uh yeah, shit's fucking shit's fucking wild. I go and I had to have surgery on this and get it uh get work done. But honestly, that was kind of in a lot of ways like the end anyway of like the you know the SIFS glory days. Uh that was right around like 2008. The Iraq war changed a lot. They started, you know, instead of pulling us to go be the fucking you know hitter monkeys there, it was like, oh, we gotta go back to your real job of like, you know, man the firebase and Djibouti in case the call comes in and all that shit. So in a lot of ways it was just very fortunate, man. It was like, as far as like tours go, it was like winning the fucking lottery right there at the end. Like fucking all on red.

SPEAKER_00:

You get all the action, all all the all the the call of duty shit that people don't understand doesn't happen every deployment. No, no, fuck no, man. No. But on the backside of that, you also don't have the advancements that came years down the road. You don't have the intrepid spirit clinics, you don't have the the transitional programs to get you in the higher level of care, checking you out for all the things that are going on, and mental health resources are not quite established. Especially at Bragg.

SPEAKER_02:

Bro, if we're gonna be totally honest, this is uh this is actually a great transition period or a great thing to talk about because it's probably something a lot of dudes don't understand if they came later. At the beginning of the war, there was none of this shit. Uh, I even heard it talked about, and I hate to give Tim any credit, but I will give him some on this. Uh, when they were when they were shit talking Tim about, you know, he got scratched, and if he got scratched, he would have got a purple heart, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't that way at the beginning of the war, man. Like, medics were not as spun up on give everybody a purple heart if they stubbed their fucking toe. The mental health shit was like, it was a it was the checklist when you came back. And they just asked you like four stupid questions, like, uh, did you fire your weapon? Did you see a dead body, uh, some other bullshit? And uh, you know, did you burn any garbage? And of course you'd be like, no, uh, because I want to go back, I want to go home and drink some whiskey. Yeah. I don't want to fucking talk to a fucking shrink or some dumb shit. Oh, did you get your head your bell rung? Like, no, fuck, that doesn't even matter. So we didn't understand TBI in the slightest. I mean, not even a fucking little bit. I was still right there on the edge of like uh Sephardic and CQB and shit, where it was like, stand as close as you can to the charge so you can get the room faster. And we'll do this a hundred times today because ride the charge. Exactly. And if you're not a pussy, you'll just ride the charge, you'll be fine. Not understanding how much that was affecting us, like cumulative TBI and shit. And this is stuff that didn't start coming out until like probably 2008, 2009, where we started seeing like, oh man, oh, this is bad news. Yeah, so they have changed things a lot now, it's a good thing. But yeah, there was some Wild West days there where we were doing some really dumb shit.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, man. And the signs is just now starting to really uh amplify and really fucking resonate within the community, letting people know that it's not an just an IED blast. It's not just getting blown up, it's repeated, it's the repetitive blast exposure that can create so much damage, not just your head, your entire body, your gut health that's impacting. Everything. Yes, everything. Yes. You didn't have you didn't have operator syndrome back then. It's like reflecting back now when Clay came back from that last trip, and like for all of us, you don't really feel it the first week, the second week. It's like a month later when everything comes back down because you're riding that wave of like being amped up. Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and you start really feeling it. And I this is things that like even when it started coming out, we were kind of like, ah, that's kind of bullshit or not. But I remember I remember distinctly seeing this one day when I was teaching uh cephalic. So when you're in when you're like an instructor role, you have to be there for every charge too. So we're in the house like all day long. And I see one of my fellow uh instructor dudes, and he's actually in the eight, getting ready to get in his car after work day is over. And this dude's an he jumped into fucking panama shit. This guy's like a fucking legend, right? And he's over there like a goddamn palsy patient trying to put his key in the door. And I was like, oh, fuck, like like everybody fucking time out.

SPEAKER_00:

This episode is brought to you by Titan SARMS. Head on over to Titansarms.com and buy a stack today. Use my code CD10 to get your first stack. I recommend the Lean Stack 2. Start living your best life. Titan SARMS. No junk, no bullshit, just results.

SPEAKER_02:

And uh that was for us when we started getting a little bit more serious about the TBI clinic. We had the guys come out and they give you the little badge so you can see how much overpressure you're taking. We were like run through a normal day and they're like, What the fuck are you idiots doing? You know. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. It's it's a it's a scary thing when you when it you finally understand that like, oh fuck. I'm not invincible. Right. I I am human. Fuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well that other wild shit that they started figuring out that they didn't know at the beginning either. Like, uh, do you know about this one with the uh the plates? So we have plates run back. What that actually does is reverberates explosions. All right, if we didn't have any of the shit on, I we would take like one X1 overpressure. But those plates and that reverb in between the two is like tin every time. Armored helmets also mean we got living through shit they never would have in NAM, but is creating all this other fucking damage that like nobody's ever fucking addressed.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And and the the VA and everybody is is just uh you know, I used to think that doctors and researchers were doing it for a passion. They love, they they advocate, and it's not the same. Some providers, some researchers, and uh actually some institutions, you're just another statistic. And it doesn't really matter. That's one of the problems that I'm I'm seeing now as an advocate and in the work I do. Like there's a lot of promise in some uh modalities that they're not talking about. Like HBOT. They you will not find you're you're gonna have a hard time finding a university that will go out there and talk about the positive effects of HBOT when it comes to treating our guys, and it's all because of money. And then that's that's the crazy part. Back then, what was your like when you you come back, now you're in Sephawk, you're starting to see the effects. Did you find yourself able to talk to a provider or ask questions or or like realize like, oh shit, I need to start worrying about this. I need to start making sure I take care of myself and the guys to my left and right.

SPEAKER_02:

Actually, fucking no, man, because we were still in that, we were still even that late in this mindset of like, I just want to get back to a team. Like, whatever fucking. And uh, you know, especially when these things are first rolling out, you're like, is it are they gonna like send me to Swick now? Because, you know, I've had I've had my my TBI for the last, you know, whatever. And these are like concerns when this program is being rolled out. So no, mostly we just fucking ignored it. And uh so finally for me, man, I ended up getting actually medically retired at uh at like 15 years. It was all just yeah, so it's just all this fucking injury shit caught up and then wearing armor all day and it just shit got all fucked up. It was also when the Obama purge was happening, they were going through every record books, and the next year they do the game.

SPEAKER_00:

You're not the only one, dude. You're not the only one. There's so many guys that like we don't talk about guys that have silent breakdowns. We don't talk about like I I know I have friends that are still in and talking with them and seeing them have those moments of vulnerability of like, I can't leave, I can't leave, I I I can't, I don't know how to survive. And it's like, dude, health is more important than your career. You will have another career, right? And going through that med board process back then is not the same as the medboard process like right now. Medically retiring back then, dude, it was fucking ugly, bro.

SPEAKER_02:

It was fucking ugly. And you're right, man. They X'd a lot of us out right then. Uh, there was a lot of guys like going through this thing with me. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And then uh it was, it was the next year or two years later. I'm actually glad they got me with the medical one because they did the same thing with UCJ action. I don't know if you remember this. They went through and they quality management boarded the entire fucking regiment. All right. The entire regiment. Yeah, they were looking for anybody that anybody that had fucked up at any time. So dude, I had like buddies over at like fucking Delta and shit that were having to answer for things that like a UCMJ thing they got in their Ranger Battalion back in 1996, and they had to actually go to a fucking board and say, yeah, okay, this happened, this was a fucking mistake, and the army had to decide to retain them. That's how fucking crazy it was. Jesus. Yeah, it was fucking bananas, and a fair number of dudes got X'd out over that one too. Uh so yeah, this shit's going on. Uh, I didn't I didn't actually know about things like that we know commonly now, like operator syndrome and all this other shit until I was way retired, like probably five, six years retired. Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. That's a that's a thing that our guys are and it it's um it's a culture problem too. Because I I I talk with a lot of the older guys too about this stuff, and even they are like, I'm not whatever, man. Yeah, I'm good.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good. I caused PTSD, I don't have it, yeah. Yeah. I've said that a hundred times. It's fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fucking it is, it's us. And uh it's also, man, this is what I found after I got out. Uh, and especially when I started the psilocybin best. So I actually went and I got the uh the transcranial magnetic stuff too from a charity.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, uh MERT, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah. So they did that one. They helped me a little bit, but not like a whole fucking lot. Uh, because I was also like kind of unwilling to admit that I have a problem. Uh so basically a couple years down the line from that, uh just kind of random chance, I was around a lot of dudes that had used a lot of uh psilocybin, which is you know, magic mushrooms for the audience that didn't know all the uh the terminology. And these dudes, they weren't like veterans like us, they were like uh computer programmers and like fucking nerds and shit, right? But they had they were using these things as a performance enhancer, which is pretty much every coder in Silicon Valley uses a microdose of mushrooms as a performance enhancer. And a lot of them had also used it for like uh, you know, trauma personal life trauma, this kind of shit, uh like healing path. And uh so they're this is like the kind of shit they're talking about in between me, you know, give them a fucking pistol drill. And eventually it becomes like intriguing. I'm like, well, that sounds like I'm like, hold on, like what the fuck? Like Nancy Reagan told me that shit's bad. Are you sure? Are you sure we're talking about the same thing? And uh, you know, that's fucking true. Once you're once you're open about it, they're like, oh yeah, dude, that's total horse shit, and here's the thing, and uh, and whatever. Nah, it still sounded like bullshit, so it took me a long time to do it. But when I finally did, I did do like a four and a half gram psilocybin trip, and I woke up, I felt like a million bucks. I had some weird suicidal stuff before that. I wasn't like depressed, but I would have the uh what I what I call the uh impulsive thought. Like I'd just like walk by a gun in my house. I'd be like, I should pick that up and shoot myself. And I'd be like, here before I was like, oh wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's fucking nuts. Uh or the other one that gets a lot of our dudes, I think, is the uh just like it's over. Like I did awesome shit, and I was riding the fucking skids of a whatever to shoot bin Laden's third, you know, whatever bullshit we were fucking doing. We're doing awesome shit. When that's over, and now we gotta be, you know, like everybody else, I guess a lot of guys too. But what uh yeah, dude, it really fucking does. But what I didn't realize is that all this shit's abnormal. That first dose of psilocybin, it crushed suicidal thought for me. To the point that I didn't even remember it. Like six months later, I had it was when I realized, like, hey, I haven't had a suicidal thought in a long time because oh fuck. But yeah, it searched, it does a lot of stuff for like operator syndrome and all this stuff. But to the point of uh we were just talking about, what I found is after I opened up about it, after because you know that it is, if you find something that's a new thing, you're gonna call all your fucking boys. Most of them that I'd already I'd talked to them, but they had never admitted to me that they were having these problems. Yeah, and then now that you mention it, yeah, actually I do. I lay in bed until like noon every day because I just can't I can't get my fucking ass out of bed. Or uh, you know, I have no drive, or uh, you know, I can't really even hold down a bullshit job because, you know, I just don't fucking care. Uh, and this is the one man that's really, I think, the plague of our fucking generation.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, dude, it's one of the hardest things to get through to guys is the understanding that you gotta be willing to try something new. Like we want we grew up in a culture, in an environment where getting your your doctor to prescribe you something, that's normal. But we shouldn't trust a naturally growing medicine out of the fucking ground. Out of the ground. You can't trust that because it's got um the psychoactive uh ingredients in it and it will make you have a uh a psychoactive uh experience. That's bad. And and I had the same problem myself. I was willing to go to pharma. I was willing to go to big pharma, I was willing to go to VA doctors and have them prescribe me medications that could quite literally fucking kill me. Yeah, fuck yeah. That would literally make me feel nothing. Yeah, I was suicidal, yeah, I was dealing with a lot of shit. But instead of fixing and telling me that, A, there was something right in my life, I had something to live for, and that B telling me that this these feelings are gonna pass, they just wanted me to feel nothing.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Whereas the first time I took 5A meal DMT, I realized, like, wow, if I would have just gone back, if I could have taken Denny from the the the period in time where he was actively thinking of killing himself and giving him this. It was okay. What would what would have my how would my life look? And everything happens for a reason, of course, but I I can't I couldn't help but think that maybe this could have kick-started my journey to healing a whole lot of people. Oh yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, dude, me too. Without fucking question. To your big pharma thing, I want to throw this in there too. It's not even like for psychological problems, man. I went into the VA and uh they're like, hey man, we noticed that you uh you know dip or smoke or whatever, all the all the above. Like, you want to quit? I'm like, yeah, that'd be helpful actually. This is shitty habit. And I'm like, here, have some well putre. Man, that shit made me suicidal like a motherfucker, bro. I just like too much.

SPEAKER_00:

It's actually one of the warning things they put on there.

SPEAKER_02:

I fucking know, but I didn't think it was fucking real. And then, you know, I don't want to fucking tell you, but I'm on this shit for like two weeks, and now it's like, kill yourself. I'm like, what the fuck? So I cut that shit. That didn't go away for like six months, and that was like aggressive. Uh so that's fucking crazy. Uh yeah, same thing. We've been told to you know, trust pharma, but the biggest thing, man, I think this is the one that fucks us all up. And it's just like right now. Like it, like we're boys. All right, we gotta go do some shit. I'm not gonna tell Dinny that I'm actually a fucking disaster. Like, I I gotta like I gotta like hold my bullshit in and like you know, pretend like none of it's fucking real. Like, is my is your shit square away click? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, it's fucking right. I mean, I gotta hangover, I've still got a gym beam bottle in my fucking pocket. You got the shakes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, don't worry, it's this is my gun hand that we're good. But it's uh it's it's it's fucking tough guy culture, man. We won't tell each other when we're all fucked up either. And it's it is actually hard. That's kind of one of the things you have to get past. That's one of the best things that psilocybin did for me is like, you can totally tell your brothers that you're fucked up and uh you're you're fucking mess. Once you do, they'll open up about their own shit. It's it's fucking way better. But yeah, uh man, a lot of us are fucked up. We suffer in silence. Again, man, it's just a tough guy fucking mentality. We gotta get past that shit.

SPEAKER_00:

And dude, like take us through that that first experience with psilocybin.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, so my first experience with psilocybin was actually fucking bananas, but so I've got it, uh, it's in it's in my freeze, it's my freezer for a year because I'm fucking scared shitless to do it, man. And for for all the reasons, oh yeah, dude, fuck terrified. For all the reasons that any of us would. This is what I put my book. This is why I put my barbaric spirit. This is really how I felt. And uh it's funny because like if you talk to like therapists or like regular fucking shaman tech dicks, they'll come up with an excuse for this. No, no, no, you're just you know massing whatever. Like, no, here's the reality. One, uh, I am a fucking mass murderer, so you know, I'm good at it too. Like, so maybe pouring hallucinogens on top of fucking me, well, what the fuck I can do is a bad idea, right? You know, that's that's fucking real life. Like, especially if you're like a small place like I am, like uh like if I want to get real fucking frisky and nobody fucking stopping my ass. Uh, number two, I'm a fucking tough dude. I've done all this tough guy shit. What if these medicines or sacraments, as I say, what if they turn me into a little bitch? What if I wake up a fucking pacifist and uh, you know, fucking can't kill a bug anymore? That's a problem. Because like I need I'm this other fucking guy, and that can happen. Uh or it's a it's a a thought that it can happen. And then yeah, the third thing is, you know, if you've already got brain damage, which I do and you do, uh there's this part of you that's like, I don't know if I want to pour any more shit on this. Because what if I damage what I've got left? You know, that's a that's a thing. Especially if you don't really know how these substances were. Like I that was a concern for me for probably the first six months that I was using them. Like, if like am I really okay? Am I yeah, it turns out these will actually regrow neurological tissue with mice. Like they'll do crazy shit that they they shouldn't. Uh so yeah, it's all gonna be fine, but it is scary up front, man. It's very scary.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah, it is, man. I think it's important to question everything um to run that through. A lot of guys have that. I I had fears for the stellaganglion block. Yeah. Oh yeah, hell yeah, yeah. The first time that was brought up to me, it it it was briefed by somebody that didn't know how to talk about you know scientific things and they made it sound horrible, absolutely horrible. And then I put it off for for years, and then come to find out, I finally had the experience and it's like, oh shit. I was hesitant to try this because somebody else's input. And here I am finally like feeling relief, and I'm like, oh shit. Yeah, that stuck with me. I'm like, wait a second, before I speak about anything, I need to let people know you got to form your own opinion. I can tell you the great benefits of all this stuff, but you gotta do the research. You gotta watch the YouTube videos, the white paper studies, anything. Talk, engage with people, ask them for all the information. Yeah, that's one thing we never did with Big Pharma. No, we just took it from the doctor.

SPEAKER_02:

Hell yeah, this has got to be good. So it's just a hundred dollars. How can it be bad? Yeah, no, it's real shit, man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I will tell you, man, that that's something that all of us within our community struggle with understanding and reconciling that two things can be true. I can still be the elite warrior and I can find inner peace. And that's something that we need to understand. Like, dude, that's a part of you. That dude that was lethal and capable and knows how to do all the right things in a chaotic environment, he's there. He's gonna always be with you. You got to train, you got to practice all the skill sets, otherwise, they're just gonna become history. Right. But you can tap into it, downregulate it, be in a better state. How do you go from trying to heal into trying to advocate and bring this to other other other members of our warrior tribe?

SPEAKER_02:

So go back to my first, my first one was fucking crazy. Uh I I went full mystical experience, which you shouldn't most people can't even do uh their first time with a lot of people can't do anyway with just like five grams of mushrooms. Went full fucking mystical for me, fucking warrior mystic shit. And I woke up, I was like, holy fuck. Like that was fucking crazy shit. Uh I think I waited a month. The other thing that was wild about uh mushrooms for me the first time is you know, any drug, like us guys at security, like, oh drugs are bad, like they'll make you an addict and all this shit. I woke up from that fucking experience with so much fucking respect for the mushrooms, I was like, I will never fucking abuse, I will never do this for fun. I will never do this to go to a fucking concert, no fucking bullshit, like just incredible fucking respect for the for the substance. So uh a couple like a month or so goes by, they calls me again, you know, the way that they do. And uh I think that was right right when I decided like I've got to get this to my fucking guys. Uh is and you know how it's it's usually like your close-knit your bodies first. Uh, it's not especially we're talking about like very illegal substances. You know, at first I'm not gonna say this on TV or anything. Like, you ever done drugs? Like, not even Tylenol. Never heard of them, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

It's kind of fucking bullish. Allegedly, I've tried Robotussum once or twice. Right, right.

SPEAKER_02:

Senator, I do not recall. Right. Yeah, it's fucking ape shit. But uh, because yeah, that's that's where we're working at, actually, is all this shit's underground, uh, or was. You know, guys have to go to Mexico to have these treatments or Jamaica where psilocybin is legal. All this shit. So yeah, so I'm like, I got like my close buddies, I'll call them, like, hey man, fucking, get switched to signal. We can't even say this on fucking self. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell them, and uh, a couple of them are like, you're absolutely fucking insane, and fuck no. But some of them are like, you know what, man, my shit's fucked up. Like, I'll try it. You got the stuff? I'm like, yeah, you know, like I got the stuff. Let's get us a fucking Airbnb out in the fucking woods and let's uh let Dr. Mark show you how this is fucking done. So this went on for a while, and uh, about a year, maybe a year and a half into this, I I felt this calling to make this big, make this public. And this is the most amazing thing because things happen that that you need to happen.

SPEAKER_00:

This episode is brought to you by Pure Liberty Labs. Quality supplements designed to elevate your health and performance. Check out their full line of quality supplements. Whether you're looking for whey protein, pre-workout, creatine, or a super greens drink. Pure Liberty Labs has you covered. Use my code security hall10 at checkout today.

SPEAKER_02:

What happened was somebody along with these pasts linked me up with the best First Amendment lawyer that there is. This dude is a fucking gangster. And he's been fighting about religious freedom for like 20 fucking years. He knows his shit inside and out. And he also allegedly has used some of the substances that we've used uh and and found much grace and help and stuff from that. So uh he really showed me he's like, okay, here's what you can do that is protected First Amendment religious activity, and here's words you can't say, because if you say medicines or therapy or any bullshit like this, now you're practicing medicine without a license and or using Schedule I controlled substances in a very illegal manner. But turns out that the way that I do it, which is uh which is it's also very cool, that's kind of the path that walked me down from the from the get-go, like all this shit happens for a reason. As a religious institution and a faith-based organization that just happens to use uh psilocybin and an MDMA as our sacraments to to reach out to our ancestral old gods, I'm 100% fucking legal. Yep. I can do this. Psychedelic church. So that's exactly right. Yep. And so that's what I did. About two months ago, uh, I I got all the shit together to finally come out and do this openly, and that's what I'm doing now. Man, and it's it's also awesome because now I can talk about it freely like this, and uh that man, to me, that's the biggest deal. Like if dudes want to come to me, that's awesome, that's totally cool. Whatever I'll square your way. But the biggest deal is knowing what this stuff does. Because officially, you know, there's there's gonna be outlets. There's already a lot of other veterans that are doing this, they just kind of had to keep it on the DL. Uh, as we open up these fucking fronts, man, we can make this available to all of our brothers very fucking quick.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's exactly what we need. And it's it, I am so so fucking proud that our community, guys like you are out there doing this stuff. Um, it when I first heard of the psychedelic churches that were popping up on the West Coast, it was police officers. It was uh first responders, and I was like, fuck, man. Like Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking awesome. They were kicking ass with it re-leading the charge. And I'm like, fuck, do we need our own? And then I met uh I can't say his name, but I met um a gentleman who's from our community who um is a five Me O DMT um uh shaman. Nice. And when I met him, and and you know, the way he he it's it's almost like it's mystical, man. He shows up when you need him most, and uh he only communicates through uh through secure comms. But um, I mean we did the ceremony at um at my house, and it was like five hours of having this amazing experience in the safety of my own home. And then we spent the net the next couple days like trying to connect with the next person within my circle that needed it, connected a former teammate. And it's like the dude knows when to reach out and be, hey man, happen to be in this area. You got a green beret ranger, navy seal in the area? I'm like, that's actually I do. But that's what we need. We need more of this healing. We need more individuals that are willing to go into this because this is where change, this is really this is where the science and the the real healing is is pointing us towards. I've talked to numerous sports or athletes that have the same situation, same issues, cognitive decline, TBIs, concussions, and the only thing that's helping them is psilocybin. Yeah, amazing. Fucking amazing. Amazing things, man. Um so where are you located and how can we um participate in in your church?

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. So uh originally I I have landed over Arkansas. That's originally where I was gonna do this, and that's still kind of where we're temporarily located. Uh, when I saw what I wanted to do with this, and I'm actually gonna bring this as an important point about your your body that's the shaman. It also not very long into this occurred to me that there's a reason it has to be us that does this for each other. All right. Because again, when I'm talking to all these dudes, they're not veterans, they're not soft guys that are using this, and they're like, yeah, go to this therapist or go to this person, whatever. Man, I'm not opening up to a fucking therapist, neither are you. All right, we've done too much fucking gangster shit. All right, I'm not telling them the fucking truth about shit. Uh, not even a fucking little bit. And uh, I just don't feel comfortable with that anyway. Like it's just so like we have secrets as warriors, all right, that are they're for us. All right, they're not for everybody. We're not but we will tell them to each other for the most part. We meet and like we're you know fuck cool dudes a couple beers into this, I'm gonna be like, hey man, one time we were fucking telling, you know, you know how it goes. It pretty much it has to be us, though. It had to be our brothers that have done the same chuck and shit. And that's why I feel this is my call. And I I find more dudes like you that have done it, and I find fucking SEALs that have been doing the shit. All right, let's let's fucking bring it, let's get this out on our fucking front street. So yeah, about two months ago I formally established the church for like, you know, the fucking paperwork and all that bullshit. Uh we were originally gonna do it in Arkansas, I have land there. I still do ceremonies there, but it's kind of it's it's low grade, it's it's like a fucking school bus and a couple of tents, like it's not great. Uh recently we've decided to move back to Idaho, and this is both uh for for fame for family reasons, as well as this is hugely fucking important. Well, one uh he told me to. The all father told me we're moving this fucking north. But the biggest thing that I have found with uh with suicide and especially for our guys. Okay, when did you do all the hardest shit in your life? All right, it wasn't when you had fucking Nas and a fucking radio. Well, okay, we use some combat, it's different. But I mean the things that formed you. You're at a fucking bones creep with a fucking rubber duck, right? And a goddamn flashlight that you're not allowed to use. Seal, same thing. They're in a fucking ocean with stupid camis on and you know some bullshit and fucking rangers. All right, we are nature guys by design. I even if we ended up fighting a fucking urban war later, I we're woods guys, man. We have the fucking fire base that robbed to save all this bullshit. You take our guys the further away from electricity you can get them, uh, you put them back in this primitive environment, semi-primitive. This actually helps the sack and war. It does a different thing. Even removing electrical fields actually changes the outcome of the uh the substance. So, what I want to do is I want to build like basically a little dirt city, uh, because tensors, the closer you can get to nature, that you can still control your environment. Uh have this we have natural fire. Uh, this is a wild thing. So, not long into psilocybin, I discovered that I like candlelight in the morning. So, like I wake up early, but I come out to the garage and hang out, that's my spot. But I started liking candlelight. Like, I wouldn't even turn lights on, I won't look at natural light for like four or five, you know, first three, four hours I'm awake. Like, why the fuck is this? Finally come across a study uh done by psychologists that turns out that you are more honest with people and yourself by firelight than you are under life light. So somehow I stumbled into this fucking same thing for myself. I have more honest conversations with myself under firelight. So that's part of the reason to move it north. We need to whether it's cold, uh, we wouldn't have to run air conditioners. You go to Arkansas, you guys do air conditioners like six, eight months out of the year. Yeah, it's gonna be fucking nasty. Uh the other thing is, well, you know, a lot of times, dudes, uh, I'm especially this way with psilocy, but again, the natural substance. I like to be naked when I'm doing this shit. I like to walk around the fucking wood butt ass naked. I don't want to do that where there's like a billion mosquitoes per fucking square inch, you know, for copperheads and this other bullshit. So that's our in-state right now. We're gonna go uh north somewhere into Idaho, Montana, Washington, somewhere in there, buy a little section, throw some some yurts on it. The other thing is, you know, have you you've done these ceremonies, you've done them both in group and individual setting. Mm-hmm. Okay. I've done both as well. All right. And uh, you know, we don't have the time for me to like one-on-one everybody. So what I like to do is I got a group of like 10. All right. But especially for guys their first time, all right, if you're in a group, they want to be around the group, all right. They want to take the shit and like it kicks in and like look over and like Bob's still okay and Jimmy's still okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, safety and numbers, man.

SPEAKER_02:

But like two hours into this, when they realize that they're fine, what I found is most guys want to be alone. And that's cool, man. That's awesome. That's where that's I think where you get your deepest, you know, result anyway. So we want to have like a centralized temple where I can start everybody, make sure they're not freaking out, make sure everything's okay. All right, and then kick them to their little you know, subtent that's I can still watch them victory. Their little yurt, yeah, thrown up and fucking, you know, choked on their own vomit or some bullshit. Uh, but yeah, that's the end state. That's the end dole.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Dude, I cannot wait to see this come through, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Dude, you've got to come and see me, man. Here's another thing, man. This is this is all this isn't even for the fucking show, this is for you and me. One of the things that I've been told is I will have basically a like an army of like little sub-priests that can do this too. We can franchise this. And that's what I want. I want this fucking everywhere. I want like 55 fucking locations. And uh, that way a guy does not have to travel very far at all to get this. And we can do this. We can cover every veteran and every fucking guy getting out in relatively short order. We just need some output to get it going.

SPEAKER_00:

That's it, man. Just friggin' fine support structure. Um, where can we go to find out more?

SPEAKER_02:

I all my shit is on barbarianspirit.com right now. Uh that's got the layout of uh of the church, it's got a donation page you want to kick in some money, it's got the plan for what we're planning on doing. It's got some stuff. This is I feel like this is very important. Uh, it's got some stuff for the wives. Um because a lot of wives I have found are opposed to this. Mine was. Uh, because they think it maybe it's gonna make us worse, and I get it. Uh so there's some stuff to talk about for the wives. There's some stuff to talk about on the religious part, uh, because my rituals are pagan in nature. That's what they showed me. All right, but I've done this for a lot of Christians before. Uh, I feel like we can reconcile that. And I'm actually very much looking forward to having some Christian priests step up that are that are, you know, do this. Uh, they'll be part of our umbrella too. You know, fucking that's to me, that's that's how end of the day it's just some green beret shit. Let's take a bag full of fucking money and make a bunch of motherfuckers that are capable and replicate our fucking skill set until we can handle all of our guys.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, man. There's there's nothing proud Catholic, and I will tell you right now, it is important to go and get healed. Yes. And be able to experience this with medicine, and it'll bring you closer to God. I I truly believe it. Uh he gave us a lot of people. Exactly. He gave us this, dude. Clay, I can't thank you enough for coming on the show and being here today, brother. But more importantly, for going through your journey and deciding to come back and reach through the void to help others, man. Because I say this all the time. We need more of you guys. We need you here. First, I need you to stay. I need you to fight through, to stay in the fight. Call a buddy, call a friend, reach out. Don't go through your worst days by yourself. The team room is greater on the outside. Yeah. Please reach out. Connect with me. Connect with Clay. If you're struggling today and you don't know who to call, 850-376-8101. I will enter it every fucking time. Please don't send this to us. Now it's in India. Fuck. It's my real number. Call me.

SPEAKER_01:

Show me who's in the game.

SPEAKER_00:

Call me. Reach out. You're not alone. Once you get better, once you get some resources and you get, you know, your asthmuth. Now you're not dead reckoning on your woods by yourself. You get somebody, you got a pace count, you got a you got a compass again. Find out a way to help somebody else. Bring somebody else into the healing. And if you can, do what Clay's done. Figure out a way that you can bring a resource to other people. Again, Klay, thank you so much. Again, please share your handles on social media with us. I am uh way off the res on Twitter.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh you can find me at barbarianspirit.com.

SPEAKER_00:

Awesome. Man, thank you so much for what you're doing. Thank you guys for fucking tuning in. Do me a favor, like, follow, share, subscribe, hit me up, and support my sponsors because they're paying some bills finally. We're there. We're fucking made it. If you're with me since day one, we're fucking doing it. We're getting it. But it's not over. It's one sponsor at a time, one month at a time. So let's go. Let's continue to girls, continue to get better. But more importantly, let's continue to take care of each other. The community takes care of each other. We take care of our own because nobody else is coming. It's up to us. So stay in the fight. Thank you for tuning in, and we'll see y'all next time. Till then, take care. SecureDob Podcast is proudly sponsored by Titan's Arms. Head up the episode description and check out Titan's Arms today.

Head Shot

Deny Caballero

Host