Security Halt!
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Security Halt!
From Green Beret to Firefighter: Zachary Garner on Resilience, Epilepsy, and Faith
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In this inspiring episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Green Beret veteran and firefighter Zachary Garner to explore his extraordinary journey of resilience, faith, and personal growth. From the battlefield to the firehouse, Zach has faced life-altering challenges—including a battle with epilepsy and a near-fatal infection—that tested his strength and determination.
Through it all, Zach found healing and purpose in endurance sports, community support, and faith. His story is a testament to perseverance, overcoming adversity, and the power of sharing personal struggles to inspire others. This conversation dives deep into mental health, brotherhood, and the courage it takes to keep moving forward—no matter the obstacle.
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Securenet podcast is proudly sponsored by Titan's Arms. Head on to the episode description and check out Titan's Arms today. Small small victories, small wins, man. You know, I want to know if anybody on a team still dips or if it's all Zen now, I feel like some of like the crusty dudes probably still do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, because you know the fire station life is very similar to team room life and for the most part like everybody's ends Um. But there's always like a few guys that are like still like packing red man, except it's got like a new name now because we have to be politically correct. It's called like I forget what it is, it's like America's man. So I was always a fan of levi garrett yeah yeah, that got me through sbt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, dude, remember remember like the little, like one room shop at that was on camp mccall. Yeah, yeah, I would go there and get levi garrett and he would get me through patrols. Yeah, dude, I would go in there and get Levi Darin and he would get me through patrols.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I just recently found out that they don't have SUT anymore, it's TAC Skills.
Speaker 2:Is it the same thing, just a?
Speaker 1:new name. I guess it's same same but different. I guess they frown upon just marching out into the middle of nowhere and just having you be miserable on ambush recogs for 48 hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, okay. So now they're like go do an ambush or do a retry and then come back and reset.
Speaker 1:Yeah maybe like if it is so, it's like the older it's just like now we're part of the older crew, like, oh, I wish we had it so nice I.
Speaker 2:I was in the last hard class. I went through and it was hard yeah.
Speaker 1:Zach, welcome to Security. Alt man, how you doing dude, good, good Doing, great Thanks for having me, dude, absolutely. Man Shout out to the man, the myth, the legend, jerry Harrison, the man that's responsible for making a vast majority of us at 7th Group a little cooler through his phenomenal artwork. He reached out and he was like dude, you gotta have this guy on. I was like bet, say no more.
Speaker 2:Yeah we've actually talked about you while I was sitting there getting poked um. Yeah, that's how I found your podcast was'll see him.
Speaker 1:Nice dude, such a great dude man, I can't say enough great things. Um, I'm just, honestly, I feel so blessed that life brought me, brought me to florida, brought jerry to my life and to have, um, somebody that you can just go to for a tattoo but walk away from with so many life lessons. Man, the guy literally like it, I don't know man, it's therapeutic, it really is being able to sit down in his chair and just hear some of the wisdom and see his wins. Man, like his new path in life and finally leaning into, like really living into, his creative and artistic abilities. Absolutely, it's absolutely. It's motivating me, it motivates the shit out of me.
Speaker 1:And to see somebody you care and love finally say you know what I'm going to fucking lean into my love and do my abilities and go after my dreams. Like it lets all of us know if you, if you're willing to sit down and listen to his story, it lets you know that it's never too late that you deserve to go after your dreams. Like it lets all of us know if you, if you're willing to sit down and listen to his story, it lets you know that it's never too late that you deserve to go after your dreams too, man. Has he been brave? Has he been on the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as I can get back to florida, I'm gonna be able to hopefully be able to build another uh, uh, in-person studio and bring him right back on, man, because, honestly, before he retires from tattooing officially, I want to get my hands and my neck done and then have somebody recording there so that we can we can talk while doing it, while doing it.
Speaker 2:That'd be awesome. I want to. I want to do the throat so bad. It's just like it's such a leap. You know, yeah, I've been trying to figure out, you know, working at the fire department. Now I asked a couple of guys. I was like do we have a tattoo policy? And they're like I don't think we do. And I was like cool, cause I'm going to get my throat tattooed. They're like Hmm, that might be pushing it. And um and um, where's the rule book exactly? It wasn't in the policy. Um and yeah, or I just wear turtlenecks for the next years that's.
Speaker 1:That's the firefighter. I want saving me. If you don't show up in a turtleneck to pull me out of my car and save my life, I don't want you especially like in this louisiana heat right now.
Speaker 2:It's like 96 degrees with 95 humidity.
Speaker 1:You're a full turtleneck but, dude, you could totally rock it if you cut off the sleeves. Oh my god, dude, yeah, dude, how do you go from Green Beret to firefighter and then to doing, you know, impossible trips on your bike? Man, it's a little bit of crazy, a little bit of the suus ponte and the oppressive Lee bear spirit and, and you know the the the green beret mentality of, like I can, it's easy enough, I can do it, we'll figure it out. Like, how did this journey begin, man? Um sure, should we start at the beginning, like the very beginning, all the way?
Speaker 2:back bro becoming a green beret? Yeah, all right. Um, so I joined the army at 18 years old and honestly it was. It was a ticket out of indiana where I grew up. Um, indiana's not the most exciting state, but I grew up in a military family and my dad's last duty station was in Indiana and he retired when I was young I was probably like 10 or so when he retired. Um, and it was never like pushed on me or like even mentioned that I should go into the military. When, when I made that decision at 18 years old, he actually was like yeah, you don't need to go in the army. He did three tours in Vietnam and um, and so he was like, I did that so that you don't have to. And I was like, dad, I respect that. I was like, but I'm 18 years old so you can either help me with this process or I can go do it on my own. He was like, okay, I'm going to help you. So he called A buddy of his, was a recruiter in Indianapolis and so, guy, came over to the house, we talked, came in on an artillery contract.
Speaker 2:Initially he was a 13 Mike MLRS crewman and the reason I did that was because they offered me a bonus, a decent-sized bonus for an 18-year it was like fourteen thousand dollars and that was like a million dollars in my mind. Um, so I was like shit and I got station of choice and I wanted to go over to europe, do the whole germany thing. So that's what I initially came in on um. After two years I was like this job ain't for me.
Speaker 1:So I, what about that profession?
Speaker 2:uh, just didn't suit you um just I don't want to say all of the guys that were there, but like I don't know, I just didn't start like it wasn't exciting enough for me. Like didn't you know, mrs, if, for those that aren't familiar is a tank that launches long-range missiles, so you're not like in the fight, you're a couple kilometers away shooting missiles. And um, and I wanted to be like on the ground, you know, like looking in the face of, of the enemy. And so I started looking at reclass options and 13, 11. Like I originally wanted to go 11 bravo all along, but my dad was way against that because that's what he did, um, and but 13 fox was an option at that point. And you know, now I'm on the other side of the world, in Germany, so dad's not really involved in the decision-making process. So, um, so I went 13 Fox with the hope that I would get attached to a light infantry unit and kind of get to be in in there. And this was, you know, early 2000, 2000s, when, when shit was still pretty hot and heavy. And so I did, I reclassed the 13th fox, got assigned to 10th mountain division.
Speaker 2:Um, was never in an fa unit with 10th mountain division. I was always assigned to an infantry regiment and and deployed with them and then re-enlisted to go back to Germany and over there I got DA selected I was an E6 at this point DA selected to be WTU cadre and you know, you got special duty pay if you were DA selected. So that was kind of cool, got some extra money, but the job just wore me out, because the warrior transition unit was a place for wounded soldiers that were transitioning out of the army to get their all their medical care before they transitioned out. Great idea, bad execution. What it turned into was a bunch of commanders getting rid of malingers and stuff like that, yeah, and it was more of like an adult babysitting position. So I was like, okay, here we are again. I need to find a way out. Um, and I had recently read an article in the army times about I believe it was it was either from third group guys or fifth group guys um and a silver star ceremony, and told like the whole write-up of why they were getting the silver star and everything. And I had worked when I was in 10th mountain. Um, we had three soldiers that were captured in the middle of the night and one of them was found a couple weeks later. Two of them were missing for over a year and I was assigned to 431 Infantry at the time and we had some SF guys come for the Dust 1 looking for those guys for a couple months with us and that was my first exposure to SF for a couple months with us. And that was my first exposure to SF.
Speaker 2:And then I read this article and it just kept kind of popping up in my head that I was like I want to see what I'm capable of. I wonder if I can make it. And so I spent like six months really training hard. I started I lived off base and I was rucking to and from work every day, um, putting 45 pounds on my back. There was a three mile route to the front gate that I would take to work and then go to PT and then work the whole day and then at the end of the day there was a nine mile route home out the back gate. And so I did that every day, just getting miles on my feet and weight on my back, started really working on my run times and everything. That's what I did to prep for selection for six months and then went to selection was successful PCS to Bragg, went through the Q course no recycles and then got assigned to seventh group and, um, so, yeah, that that's kind of the story of how I ended up in SF, was. It was it was a challenge to myself to just I wanted to know what my limits were Like. Even if I didn't make it, I was going to find out where my shortcomings were, and now I've got something to grow upon. You know if that makes sense. Oh, so that's kind of how I got into SF.
Speaker 2:And then, you know, I loved every minute of it. The camaraderie was the most appealing part to me. I mean, I loved the mission of the special forces also, or the multiple missions that we cover, um, but the, the guys to my left and my right, and how close you get um and how much like it's, it's trauma bonding. You know, even when you're not deployed, like going through, like training exercises, j sets, anything like that, like the hard days at the end of the day, you're back in the team room and you're having a beer together and it just it creates a bond that is really hard to get anywhere else.
Speaker 2:Um, so true, yeah, so I loved every minute of that. Unfortunately, um, it got cut a little bit short. I would have loved to have stayed there and finished out 20 plus years. After 10 and a half years, though, I was medically separated and too many knocks to the head While we were in Afghanistan. One day we were out on a 72 hour op and I think we were probably we were. It was the night before the last day, um, I went down and had a seizure oh shit yeah, just out of the blue.
Speaker 2:Um, it's kind of a funny story actually.
Speaker 2:Um, only agree, bray would say that so, like we had we had been going for for two days and we were setting up our our little op position over watching this village that we were going to be going into the next day, um, looking for any squirters that were gonna try to run. That night, before we came in and we had three trucks up there parked in a triangle formation and bedding down, pulling off cots off the rg33 to to sleep for the night. And after we set up, um, my team sergeant said hey, make a guard roster, cause we had some uplift guys with us. He's like make the guard roster for the night and then bend down. So I made the guard roster, went around, told everybody where they're, what, what their shift was, and then I was like I gotta take a crap. So I walked like 50 meters from the trucks so there's a little berm there walked to the other side of the berm, did my business for the so that I could go to bed. The last thing I remember is my senior bravo was up on top of the rg33 and could see me and he thought it would be fun to embarrass me. So he's like hey, everybody, look, garner's pooping, garner's pooping. God, how very funny. And then I was walking back to the truck and I remember I've got to get my rucksack was up on top of the truck and I was like I'm going to grab a change of socks and a fresh T-shirt, change those and then go to sleep.
Speaker 2:Last thing, next thing, I know, I was on the ground with an iv in and woke up kind of panicked and they told me hey, the bird's coming, you're met a vacuum. I was like why? And they're like well, you were having a seizure. And um, so apparently I nobody saw it start. I had a concussion afterwards too, which was never really investigated why I had this concussion, but I was definitely concussed, horrible headache. When I woke up and that was my biggest complaint was like my head is killing me. Um, I think I climbed up on top of that RG 33 or on my way up it slipped and fell and hit my head. Um, but what happened was our dog, our bomb dog, started barking and alerting on me and that drew attention and they were like is Zach okay? And I was just on the ground just seizing.
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 2:And my medic initially was like he's messing with the dog, because you know we play jokes, and they thought I was faking the whole thing, just trying to get the dog riled up. And um, then he came over after like five minutes or so of me still doing that and he's like Zach's not smart enough to know how to fake a seizure this well. And that's when he realized I was having a seizure and so he sticks me, gets some fluids going. Eventually seizing stopped. That's when the medevac happened. They flew me back to CAF Initially. You know, once I was in there our docs came in the SF docs, our battalion doc and PA, and they kicked everybody else out of the room and they're like, hey, we're not going to call this a seizure, we're going to say that you passed out from dehydration because that's a career ender. So we just they were like we're just going to hope this was a one-off thing and it doesn't happen again. And I finished out the deployment we only had a month left with no issues. But then when I got home I had a second one and then a third one, and so eventually I went in for a brain scan and they found out they were diagnosed me with epilepsy and they offered to let me stay in group but transition to a desk job for two years and if we could get the seizures under control then I could go back to a team.
Speaker 2:Um, so we started anti-epileptic medications and it took a while to figure out what medications were going to work to control my seizures.
Speaker 2:So every time I would have a seizure, that two year timeline would restart, and eventually just got to the point where I was like I'm sick of waiting to see if I'm going to ever go back to a job that I love, and I definitely didn't want to work at Desk, john. So, um. So I was like let's just go ahead and do a med board. So I got out, um, didn't have a ton of a plan. I had an idea of what I wanted to do, but it wasn't anything exciting. It was like something to pay the bills, um, and so I decided let's, let's try to figure this out. I knew one thing that I was super passionate about at this point was trying to find anti-pharmaceutical answers to the epilepsy, because the medication that worked to stop my seizures was successful in that. However, it caused all sorts of side effects, and the VA's answer to that was let's just put you on more meds to counteract those side effects.
Speaker 1:It's always their options. It's always like well, option A, we're going to give you this. Well, now it creates all these different things. Okay, well, we'll just keep giving you more pharmaceutical interventions.
Speaker 2:So at one point I was on like 15 meds. One of them was for seizures and the rest of them were to counteract side effects or side effects of those medications. Um, so, cause, it was like. I was like well, I'm the the medication that stopped my seizures. One of the known side effects is causing psychosis. And so they're like okay, well, we're just going to put you on some antidepressants and some benzos. And so then I was like okay, I feel like a zombie all the time. So then they're like okay, here's some Adderall so that during the day, you can be on uppers and then at nighttime your benzos will help you come down from that and put you to sleep. And I was like this is stupid. Um, there's got to be another way.
Speaker 2:Well, the va sent me for a neuro scan with a third-party doctor outside the VA system, who also happened to be a cannabis prescriber in Minneapolis, and this was 2015. So it was still like a little bit taboo, you know, but he mentioned. He's like hey, the VA portion of our appointment is done. Um, but I want to talk to you about something. He was like have you ever thought about cannabis to treat your epilepsy? And I was like not really. And he's like well, there's some strains CBD strains that are specifically studied for seizures and I think it would pull you off.
Speaker 2:A lot of these medications, um, might be worth looking into. So I did, and I found a company that did like an oral tincture that I could take, and I just started weaning myself off the seizure meds and was like let's see what happens. And at this point, like I was so fed up with the seizure meds I was either going to end up dead or in jail. Um, because it was just giving me such rage and so quickly irritated and aggravated with other people, like, if you cut me off on traffic, I'm following you to your house ready to fight Jeez Um, which is not who I typically yeah, the person that I'm talking to right now is not coming across like you're the most mellow, chill dude ever.
Speaker 2:But I mean like just rage to the extreme, and it was coming out at my family, at my friends, everybody, and I was like I would rather be dead than be this person. So there were those thoughts going through my head too, you know. So I was like, fuck it, let's try it. And it worked. So then, um, I was like man, we gotta, we gotta start breaking down this stigma, we, we gotta start talking about this and try to open up some people's eyes.
Speaker 2:Um, because it was, you know, non-psychoactive, so it wasn't like I was walking around stoned all day, um, but it worked. And so I was still trying to figure out, like, where am I going in life? And so I ended up, um, deciding I had always been a cyclist and had also realized like the importance of like getting outside and being physically active was was beneficial to my mental health, and so I was like, let's, let's incorporate all this. So I came up with this idea to ride a bicycle from washington state to florida, going through every active duty SF base across the U? S, which is not a direct route across the U? S.
Speaker 1:It is most certainly not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean zigzag my way across Um, but I did um fundraising events and spoke about non-pharmaceutical medication at each of those. At this time the Army wasn't really wanting to have that conversation, so we did it at venues outside but advertised the event at venues that veterans frequent base to try to get attendance there, and it was a really good success. We raised a lot of money for a nonprofit that was interested in this task force, dagger Um, and they were the first nonprofit that helped me out as I was transitioning out of the army. Um, and it was the initial thing that I had with them was a very small gesture to them but huge to me. I needed lodging for like a week, cause I had with them was a very small gesture to them but huge to me. I needed lodging for like a week because I had rented out my house in Florida and was moving to Minneapolis, but I had like a week before I finaled out of the army and they were just like, hey, we'll take care of your hotel room for that week, and so they paid the bill for the hotel room to help me out and I just wanted to give back to them um for that, and so I was like, let me, I'm gonna do this bike ride, let me see if we can raise some money for you guys in the process. Um, so I did so.
Speaker 2:I rode a bike from washington state to florida um, raised some money for their nonprofit, talked about things that I was passionate about, and then that led to a job coaching endurance athletes afterwards, and so I kind of found my purpose. Like not even necessarily searching for my purpose, I was just like I want to help this nonprofit out and I want to ride a bike and I want to see america. I had never seen the rockies before. That really, yeah, I had. I had never been up to the northwest um in my entire life. I was 30 years old and um was like, let's, let's see what this is all about. Um, so it was like, in so many different aspects it was like a really eye-opening adventure and it helped me find my purpose, which was coaching endurance athletes at that time and getting people outside and getting people active. There was struggling with mental health issues. So that happened and then I was coaching some triathletes and I I was a cyclist, I wasn't a triathlete, I actually hate running Um, and the army took that out of me.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm starting to fall back in love with it, even though my body still fucking hates it, you know it's.
Speaker 2:It's coming back to me and as we'll get to in a few minutes, I recently did another big bike trip and I lost 20 pounds during that bike trip and my body light's running a lot more now that I'm 20 pounds lighter. Endurance athletes I wanted to understand, like psychologically, where triathletes heads were at. So I started getting into triathlons myself for for that and I was doing a half iron man in minnesota and got hit by a car. What, yeah?
Speaker 2:oh no, no. So on the bike portion, I was I don't know 35 miles or so into the bike portion and I was in third place and just it was shitty weather and came through an intersection that was supposed to be controlled by a cop. It was raining, he was still in his car not expecting people to be going through yet, just trying to stay dry until we needed to get out in the rain. And as I was coming, a car came in front of me and I just met that car right in the middle of the intersection and, um, and I kind of saw it coming like as I was approaching the intersection, but we were briefed that every intersection would be clearly marked and we would be given the right away. Yeah, those things weren't in place and, um, by the time I realized that this car was coming, it was too late With the wet asphalt. If I had tried to stop I probably would have slid into the intersection and that car would have gone right over.
Speaker 2:So I made the split second decision that like let's just pray for the best, and I kind of shifted my body in the seat so that I didn't face plant directly into the car. I, um, I kind of went over the handlebars and rolled over and the windshield launched me straight up in the air. And I remember like after the impact with the car, like I had all. It felt like I had all the time in the world and I was like, okay, that wasn't that bad, I'm still conscious, like if my bike's okay, we can get back on the bike and I'm still gonna catch second and first place in front of me. Um, but then I saw the sky for like the eighth time, because I was just cartwheeling through the sky and again I felt like I had all the time in the world to process this and I was like, fuck, this part's really going to suck when I find the ground. And then I didn't find the ground and it was lights out immediately uh, it's not that bad.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it is that fucking bad.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm really high off the ground, yeah. And so I impacted head first and kind of scorpioned um. So yeah, I hit right over, right on like left side of my face, forehead area, um cracks my helmet and lights out. I woke up in the ambulance Um, I had fractured my L five and then my right hip um was impacted by that a pillar that connects the windshield and the driver's side door. So initially, you know the medics priority is the head injury and the back injury. So it had me on a spine board, neck brace, didn't know where I was. I actually they were like, is there anybody we should call? And I gave them my ex-wife's phone number, thinking I gave them my, my current wife's phone number, um, so yikes, yeah. And but I realized it like, as they were on the phone and I was like, hang that phone up, she's not going to care.
Speaker 1:She's going to be like yeah, do not resuscitate.
Speaker 2:He has a DNR. Yeah, so, so, yeah, I am. They got me to the hospital there. They're working everything. Um shot me up with fentanyl once I got there and that was the first time I realized why people get addicted to pain medication. Um, and it's funny, but I people were were like what did it feel like? And I'm like. It immediately felt like I was surrounded by cuddly puppies and boobs, like I was just in like the happiest place in the world um, it's the best day of my life and I I like, as they did it, though I was like, oh, that's why people get addicted to these drugs.
Speaker 2:That makes sense. So then, a couple hours later, they're stitching up my head and I was like guys, something's not right in my right hip. And they're like well, we did body scan, like a complete body scan. You don't have anything. You don't have a broken femur or a broken hip. Then you were hit by a car. It's not gonna feel great. So they just gave me some more pain meds.
Speaker 2:Hour later, I'm like it's still not touching it, like it's getting worse right at this point. Like you know, probably, the green beret in me is being stubborn, so I'm not going to tell them I'm at a 10. When they ask like, where's your pain at, I'm like, oh, it's like a six, but it really doesn't feel great. And they're like okay, here's some more pain medication. Um, my buddy who owned the gym that I coached at. He pulled them outside and he's like hey, this isn't your regular patient. He pulled them outside and he's like, hey, this isn't your regular patient. He's not ever going to tell you it's at a 10. But if he's telling you it's bad, you need to treat it like it's at a 10.
Speaker 2:And so at that point they're like, okay, let's go do another scan. So they did another CT scan and they compared that to the first one and they could see how much fluid was building up in my hip and leg and they were like, oh shit, this guy has compartment syndrome, um. So they come in with some paperwork and they're like, hey, sign these releases. We're taking you to us to emergency surgery right now. So off I went, anesthesia knocked out, woke up, um, immediately looked at my right leg and had like an 18 inch incision.
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Speaker 2:And it wasn't even closed up. It was packed with wind racks and just covered and I was like, oh man. And I was like how long was I in surgery for? They're like about eight hours. They said you had a lot of trauma to that. They're like I don't know how you didn't break any bones, but you essentially popped everything else around your bones.
Speaker 2:Um, so was in the hospital for like 10 days, um, with the wound back in, sucking all that stuff out, until it finally the inflammation went down enough that they could close it up. And then they off. They sent me with a bag full of narcotics. So I went home. They weren't sure. They were like you're probably going to have some really bad nerve damage. We don't know Dean's going to be after this.
Speaker 2:Um, luckily I had a full recovery, though, and you know I went into it like I never refilled pain meds after that. I went into it knowing like I need to get off these, because at this point in my life I had seen a lot of people in in our community that were injured, started with a legit prescription. Once that prescription was cut off, they went to whatever they could find, and I didn't want to become a part of that statistic. So I went into it with a mental plan of getting out of it, you know. So I lucked out in that sense that time. Um then, at that point I said screw bikes. Like it's no longer fun, it's like bikes were like therapy for me, like it was an outlet, um.
Speaker 2:But it stopped being that way because when I would get on the road and ride and cars were around, I was just too paranoid. So it was like, okay, we need to kind of start over and find a new purpose, find a new career. So I went, as every good green beret does not everyone but I went where the money was. Money was which was contracting, yeah, and so I rehabbed myself enough to go past the physical um, all the physical tests and everything, and I started contracting overseas again.
Speaker 2:And I did that for a number of years, up until um 2020 so quite a while damn, yeah did that for for a bit, um, because at this point it was 2016 um, when, when the car accident happened, then got into contracting, did that until 2020 and I came home. And shortly after I got home, I um Jerry might get mad at me for telling the story, but it actually had nothing to do with Jerry, it was my stupidity. Um, I had gone and gotten some tattoo work done by Jerry Um, I was working on a leg sleeve and everything shut down in florida and I get stir crazy if I sit still too long. So I was out in the gulf like paddle boarding and hanging out, or in the bay. Actually, um, I was over on the bay.
Speaker 2:I live right off of black creek in freeport, if you know where that is yeah, yeah and that empties out into the bay, and so I was like spending my days out paddleboarding, hanging out, didn't let the tattoo quite heal all the way, no, um. So some dirty water had gotten in there and one morning I woke up and and I wasn't initially like oh shit, I have an infection in my leg. It was just like stiff in my knee joint and um, and a little bit swollen and red. So I went to urgent care. I thought honestly that like a spider or something had bit me while I was asleep um, because I, like you know, did the whole webmd, google doc thing. It was like, yeah, it's probably an insect bite or something. So I went in, they ran some labs and they're like everything's coming back normal. They're like we think maybe you have some bursitis. So they gave me a steroid injection, sent me home A couple of days later, my knee's like the size of a basketball and I can't put weight on it or anything.
Speaker 2:So I went to the emergency room this time, or I went to an orthopedic doc and he took one. Look at it and he goes that's infected. And he said we're going to call the hospital You're going to. I'm going to call them while you're driving over there. He's like they're going to admit you and start you on IV antibiotics tonight and I was like all right, inconvenient. But whatever, he's like we caught this early. He's like probably a this early. He's like probably a week of you being on IV antibiotics. We can send you home. But we need to keep an eye on this for the next couple of days to make sure it doesn't spread and get worse.
Speaker 2:So I went in. They hooked me up. After like three days it was still getting worse. At this point it's like my hip to my ankle is ugly and nasty and so they're like we're gonna go ahead and open that leg up and see what it looks like inside. So knock me out, do a little exploratory incision. 30 minutes later I'm awake and I'm thinking like, oh, it must not have been that bad. Well, the doc comes in. He's like, hey, it's bad. He's like we cut, we. We cut your leg open and it immediately looks like dirty dish. Water was just spilling out of your leg. So he's like we stopped because we need to plan for major surgery tomorrow to open oh shit um.
Speaker 2:So they start, they open up my entire left leg, um, and they're doing washout and debridement. It was, it was flushing in bacteria is what was going on in there. So they're cleaning all the dead flesh out. Um, yeah, keeping the rounder clockotics, um, just trying to keep it from spreading outside of my leg. It wasn't getting any better after you know they're doing washout and debridements like every three or four days for weeks and I'm in the hospital as an inpatient this whole time.
Speaker 2:Narcotics straightened to the, to the vein, um, they're just keeping me very medicated so yeah that I because that I gotta imagine that's incredibly painful if you're just raw dogging that like yeah they, um, after the surgeries were so invasive from scraping all that dead tissue out that when the anesthesia wore off, they would give me ketamine so that I wouldn't go into shock, and then, as the ketamine wore off, they would adjust the fentanyl drip to keep me from going into shock. Oh yeah, it was, it was lost. So I was like tripping out of my mind, which was honestly kind of like. You know, there's a reason they use ketamine for therapy. Yeah, yeah, so I didn't have a therapist there, but I started like journaling as I came out of it, like what happened on the other side, if you will, and was working through some like life stuff at the same time, um, so, so that was pretty wild.
Speaker 1:You're just sitting there, your legs just fucking getting tore out and it's like dear diary yeah.
Speaker 2:And then the best part was like I needed somebody to talk to about this, so like if you could be the nurse, you could be the janitor that's just coming in to clean the bathroom the first person I saw when I woke up. I'm like, sit down, we're talking about life.
Speaker 1:Because if you've experienced ketamine therapy like it brings up a lot, You're like I need to talk, I need a journal.
Speaker 2:You have to reflect some things.
Speaker 1:It's like hello, I'm here for the trash. No, no, no, sit down, jose. I got to dive into last year. Holy shit, dude, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:So that was wild. Um, but after a couple of weeks they were like this isn't working. Um, cause it had spread into my bones and into my blood and so it was eating away my pelvis. Um, it started eating my bicep tendon off of my left arm. Um, so they're like, yeah, this obviously isn't working. So, and then it got into my heart.
Speaker 2:Um, at this point I'm under VA healthcare. So the VA had said I'd been in the hospital at this point for like two, three months. And they're like the hospital I was at Sacred Heart down in Sandestin and then they transferred me to Fort Walton Beach, because that's like a step up from Sacred Heart. And they're like we can't, we've done everything that we can do here. He needs to go to, like you know, a Mayo Clinic or like a big hospital out of Florida. And the VA was like no, we've spent enough money, we're not going to approve it. So they were like what we will approve is sending him to an assisted living facility, a fucking nursing home, and I'm 30, the fuck, and I'm 35 years old. They essentially just were like let's put him on hospice care hospice care yeah, um, so holy shit, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, luckily, a non-profit that's associated with who I was contracting for at the time reached out and said hey, we have a trauma team up in boston at mass general, that you're going to have the best doctors available and that you need, if anybody can get this under control, it's there. And so, um, I got a private jet because this is peak covid. This is like september of 2020. I'm running because of the infection. I'm running 104, 105 degree. They're not going to let me get on a plane and I look sick, you know. So private jet flies me up to Boston, go to the hospital and they check me in inpatient there. And now I've got all these specialists working on me and they treated it from like ground zero, like they didn't care what the doctors in florida did. They're like we're gonna run our own tests, we're gonna come up with our own plan.
Speaker 1:Um, we were able to eventually get it under control, um, but not before I had to take for them to actually like fight back and get this under control, because at this point it's in your fucking blood, your arm, like fuck dude.
Speaker 2:This all started in june of 2020. I was released from inpatient care permanently. I had some periods that they let me out but then back in uh, released permanently. I want to say april of 21, so 10 months, and it was over 30 surgeries. I had two strokes um. I died twice in the hospital um coded and they brought me back um. But april of 2021 was like when I was finally like permanently released from inpatient care in the hospital Zach.
Speaker 1:I got to ask are you a believer, Are you a man of faith? Dude.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this journey is insane, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, they were telling me in the hospital that, like you're we don't know that you're going to walk out of here Like not just not walk, we don't know that you're gonna walk out of here, like not just not walk, we don't know that you're gonna leave this hospital alive, um, and then they were like, and if you do, you're probably not going to be the same person because of all the trauma that's been done to your leg, your pelvis, your arm, like you're going to have some some adapting to life. Um, and then, not to mention, like I was now definitely addicted to narcotics after 10 months of just IV narcotics around the clock, um. So I got out, um, and realized, like you know I, I had some periods while I was in the hospital to not to get you know I, I hate trying, like when, stuff, when it sounds like I'm trying to play the victim. So I hope this doesn't come across this way. Um, but I just got sick of fighting, absolutely, dude, I don't ever like, even now, like as a firefighter, like I see old people that are like in rough shape and their families are like doing everything to keep them alive, and I'm like, do that for me, do that for me, like if I'm, once I get to the point where, like, I can't go to the bathroom and I have to wear diapers and I need somebody to come change those diapers and I need somebody to pick me up to get me out of bed, like, just let it run its course, like you know same same, and so I I had gotten to a point where I was just like I'm done, like, and I started like cheeking my medications to save them up and then take like 10 days worth of of of narcotics in one time to hope that I not not because I was trying to get super high, but because I'm
Speaker 2:trying to not wake up tomorrow and and laying in bed and praying to not wake up tomorrow, and I kept waking up every day, um, and being disappointed that I woke up, and you can only do that for so long. So it's like, all right, we need to obviously change our mindset around this, because I can't die. Apparently, I feel like I definitely should have been able to, but for some reason I was still here, and so I was like, all right, let's figure it out. And so I made it my mission then to just prove the doctors wrong. We are going to leave this hospital, and not only am I going to leave, I'm going to come out of this mental funk and be work on, like, coming back, you know, the, the return.
Speaker 2:And so I really started diving into physical therapy and, and you know, just getting active and working on the recovery piece and then getting out. And it was a process but working off, getting all, getting off all the meds, um, and was able to do it. And so then it was like, okay, you know, a period of adjusting just back into normal life, um, adjusting just back into normal life. But then I started to go through some depression again and anxiety was at an all-time high, and so I remembered, I flashed back to that 2015 bike ride and how important it was to find a purpose and how important it was to find a purpose, and so I knew like the happiest I've ever been career-wise was when I was in the service, and that wasn't an option.
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Speaker 2:To go back. The military is not going to take me back now, at 36 years old, had two strokes, had 30 surgeries on my legs, like MEPS isn't going to fucking pass that packet through. So even though, like I knew I was, like I could go, still be a Green Beret, like I guarantee I could still do it, but they're not ever going to let this happen. So what do I do? Um, I had always thought about being a firefighter, and you know it's different. You're not necessarily of service to your country, but you're of service to your immediate community. Yeah, absolutely. And so I was like, well, let's see what happens. And I kind of sat on it for like a year, though, um, because I was afraid of being told I couldn't do it because of medical history and or, like, because of of my military service. I was going to fail the psyche, vow or something, and I didn't want to hear those words, words, I didn't want to not be accepted. So I sat on it for a year before I finally was like fuck it, we don't know unless we try. So I found a department that was willing to hire an old dude, um, because some of them won't. If you're over, I think, the cut cutoffs like 30 or 34 or something. Really, I didn't know that. Yeah, and it has to do with, like, the retirement system, like you're not eligible for retirement so they can't hire you. Oh yeah, it's silly. Um, but I found one, that this department has their own retirement system and they're a reputable department. They're a decent sized department. I didn't want to go to like some rural place where I was just going to sit in a station all day. I'm like once a week you might have a call Get a cat out of a tree, yeah, yeah, um. So I found a department and they they took a risk on me and they were excited to have me and went through the fire academy um, about a six month academy and then started working as a full-time firefighter. That I was like, you know. The other thing back to finding purpose is I want to impact that community that I came from, some more of the soft community.
Speaker 2:Then we were coming up on the 10-year anniversary of when I did that initial cross-country bike ride and I had always had, like this bucket list dream of mountain biking from Canada to Mexico along the continental divide. It's called the Great Divide Mountain Bike Race. It goes on every year starts in Banff, canada, and finishes at the Antelope Wells, new Mexico border crossing, and I'd always wanted to do this. And, um, I'd always wanted to do this. And so I was, like, you know, my daughter's graduating high school and this is the time to do it, and so I had been training and prepping for that, as I was applying to the fire department. So they hired me, um, I went through the academy and then, like the last week of the academy, I went to the fire chief's office and was like, hey, so about to graduate next week and I kind of have this plan to go mountain bike the Continental Divide, can I have a month off?
Speaker 2:And I told him it was for a veteran nonprofit and I had also linked in a first responder nonprofit to raise money for those two charities. And so he was like, yeah, I've got no problem with it. And he said, but you don't have any vacation days, how do you plan to do this? And I was like I'll take time without pay. Um, I just want to make sure I have a job to come back to at the end of it. And he was like, yeah, I got no problem with that.
Speaker 2:Well then, some of my direct supervisors. Um, once I got assigned to a station and was on a crew, they were like no, this is kind of bullshit for you to have to do this and not get paid. Like, let's see what we can do. And so they went to the fire chief and they were like, hey, can we donate our vacation days to him? So yeah, guys from the department donated their own vacation days so that I could still get paid while I was riding a bike across the country, and which, like, almost like I mean, when they told me that they were doing that, it like brought me to tears. I got emotional because these are guys like I've only worked with these guys for months yeah.
Speaker 1:That's brotherhood.
Speaker 2:That's that camaraderie, and, and it just solidified that I was in the right place, because that's what I had been searching for since 2015, when I left the army. Yeah, and, and without asking for it, they showed it to me and um, so shout out to those guys at st george fire department um, thank you, um, and yeah, man, life. Life now is like daily. I'm reassured that I'm exactly where I need to be. Yeah, so that was a really long-winded answer to the intro of this.
Speaker 1:Oh, dude it's the best fucking podcast I've had. No, no, no freaking disrespect to any guests I've had recently. But fuck, dude, like, if you're listening to that, that like there's a reason why I'm like I am 100 relaxed in this moment, just enjoying this connection, brother, because that's a Testament, that that's a journey, like, like I said it's. I don't know if you're a man of faith, I don't know what your, your beliefs are, but that is a walking Testament of trusting in a higher power and not giving up. Even when you wanted to give up, he kept showing up and letting you know like, hey, it ain't your fucking time. I need you for something greater People need you.
Speaker 2:So you know, um, it's funny. You asked, like, about believing in a higher power. Um, cause this came up actually early this morning. Um, no-transcript, I haven't been like spiritual with it. Like I just think it's naive to think that we're we're the only ones out there and that there's not a big picture. Um, but I don't, like I don't have like strict parameters on what that is. Um, to be honest, like I don't go to church. I grew up Catholic, going to church a lot, but for some other reasons kind of separated from that over the years, but I do still believe in a higher power.
Speaker 2:But this morning at about 4 am, we got called to a cardiac arrest and we went and worked this patient for probably 40 minutes and ultimately they ended up passing. Um, we never got a heart rate, a heartbeat back on them. Um, and the fan there. There was tons of family at the house when we were there in the room while we're working on them, uh, which is always kind of uncomfortable because, like, if you've ever seen like full-on, like CPR on a cardiac arrest patient, it's not a pretty thing to watch. We're shoving all sorts of tubes in their throat. We've got this machine strapped to their chest. That's just taping their chest in the whole time, and so it's stressful when there's family in there and we're doing this. But, um, about 25, 30 minutes into it I think it was the patient's sister came in and was kneeling down right next to me and praying and just had like a death grip on my thigh while I'm sitting there doing bag ventilations, um, and she's crying and praying and just grabbing onto my thigh. Well, we called it. We get back to the station and something hit me that had never hit me in the past.
Speaker 2:This wasn't my first cardiac arrest since I started this job, or cardiac arrest since I started this job, but you could tell that this family had faith and they were all praying over the course of the 40 minutes that we were working there and I was like you know what? It doesn't take a lot of effort for me to say a prayer for that family right now, whether I believe in what they believe in or not. I said let me just take a couple minutes and say a prayer for her passing over and for the family. And yeah, I don't know what made me do that, because it's never struck me before, but maybe it was just the way they were praying and the way that they were grabbing onto me and I'm kind of focused on what I'm doing, but they may have been praying that I can do the best at my job to hopefully save them. So it doesn't take anything away from me to say a prayer for them and their loved one that just passed away.
Speaker 2:So, I don't know, maybe I am becoming a man of faith in this job. This job has a way of bringing things out to you that you don't expect, you know. So, yeah, it's interesting that you brought that up, because this morning, as I was leaving work, I was like oh, that was weird that I did that, because I don't usually do that. Um, yeah, so while while everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1:Man, and and um, I, I, I walked away from my faith for a long time. I was not connected to it until I went through my own challenges and, um, one day my wife got in the car and she was going to mass and I wasn't going to let her go alone. And one day led to another, and then that led to, and then that led to praying the rosary, being dedicated to my faith. And, if anything, what really sold it to me was I started going to church and being, you know, a practicing Catholic again, and then I got met with something that really rocked me and it was a shock to my system and I felt offended and I felt betrayed by God. I was like I'm doing this, I'm going back to church, and you're going to deny me this, like you're going to take away this one thing that I wanted to do. And I, in that moment, I realized like, oh, wait a second. Like that's how my faith works. If I don't get something that I want, I walk away. Like, wow, like and and for. I've shared this before, but it was.
Speaker 1:It was, um, we were wanting to have a family and, after paying tons and tons of money for a fertility doctor because it's not covered by the VA. It was told by a really cold, asshole doctor that I didn't have the facilities to make it happen, it wasn't going to be for me. Literally, in a really fucked up way, just said like there's no chance it will ever happen for you. And I got really, really, really bitter and I got really angry. And I just remember being that sad, angry little version of me wanting to say, well, fuck it, I'm not going to go to church.
Speaker 1:And luckily, the next morning I go on a walk and I realize, like, is that how my faith is supposed to work? The moment? Something is inconvenient and it's not meant to happen for me. I'm going to just walk away Probably not the best version of myself, this isn't who I want to be. And I just remembered realizing like, wow, okay, so it doesn't happen that way for me, or maybe I just need to pray, maybe I need. You ever thought about that, denny? And I realized, and I talked to my wife through it and I divulged her how shitty it felt. And then we made the decision to hey, you know what, if it's if it's for us, if it's meant to happen, it's going to happen and and we're going to pray, we're going to pray.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to. I'm not going to stress about a surgery. I'm going to reach out to a doctor I do trust and get his recommendation, and ultimately it was Dr Mark Gordon, amazing human being. He didn't give me pharmaceuticals, he didn't give me an injection or a plan of action for surgery. It was the opposite. We're going to come off all this medication, and here's the nutrients, here's what you're going to actually focus on putting in your body. It wasn't Western medication, it wasn't anything crazy. It was lots of prayer and removal of shit that was in those. I was taking tons of medications and a year later a year later we had our daughter and that's when I realized like it's not fucking up to me.
Speaker 1:and if I'm gonna sit there and be so petty and be so angry when I'm not met with absolutely everything I'm asking for at the moment and not looking at the opportunities he's already given me and have patience and trust in his plan, then I'm not a really good fucking Catholic. I'm not a really good fucking man, am I? It's not about my time, it's not about me, it's just having faith. It's just being willing to go on a journey and just being open to saying hey, where there's a will, there's a way, and if it's not this way, I'll be a dad somehow. And I was like we're blessed, we're absolutely blessed.
Speaker 1:And I'm so grateful for that moment of being a shitty, faithless individual because I can reflect back on that moment how shitty it felt. But I can feel I can go back and actually look back on what I made that decision to say you know what? I'm going to get over this shit, I'm going to stop being a petty dipshit and I'm going to have faith again. I'm going to trust. That's ultimately all we have to do. We just have to get over ourselves sometimes and just say hey, you know what God's proved to me, he's been there.
Speaker 1:And then, whatever, whatever belief, whatever being, whatever power you believe in, have faith and look at your journey. And, bro, your journey is fucking insane. What you share with us today is a testament of like, not only what you can go through and bounce back from, but ultimately that that's proved that your mission's not over. Like, yeah, your your your journey in inspiring others into helping all of us see that, after getting knocked down once, twice, three fucking times, four times, make the decision to get back up Like you could have clocked out at any moment, but you didn't. You stayed man.
Speaker 2:Yeah and um and that's yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I love being a firefighter, but I'm going to learn from the past.
Speaker 2:You know, with being a green beret, I I let that kind of become my only purpose and my identity, and when that stops, that leaves you with a huge hold to fill and I'm not going to let that happen again.
Speaker 2:And so while I am a firefighter and I enjoy being a firefighter and I love the guys that I work with I also am going to have a purpose outside of that, and that's why we're here today is to share my lowest points and how I overcame those. Because if we don't talk about that, if we keep that whether it's because of shame or whatever if we keep that to ourselves and we don't talk about how we made it out through the other side, then we're just leaving the next guy to fail. That's what I identify my purpose as today is. You know, I've had some shitty moments and some things that I'm ashamed of, but I've gotten past that and you know, what works for me isn't necessarily going to work for anybody, but it might work for somebody and I'm going to share that in hopes because I know that there are other people that are going to find themselves in the same situations and if it helps somebody, then you know yeah.
Speaker 1:It will. Man, Thank you and success. Yeah, I am Very, very, very, very, very lucky to have come across you, Jerry, if you're listening. Thank you for bringing Zach into my sphere and making this happen because, brother, your journey is insane. And the bicycle, the endurance stuff, that's just the superficial icing on the cake. The entirety of your journey, everything you've gone through, is a testament to what we can all go through. Maybe it's not, hopefully not. Everybody goes through these trials and tribulations of surgeries and pain and trauma. But if you find yourself going through something difficult that's remarkably similar to this, know that you can endure, Know that you can make it through it. There's, uh, so much of this journey that I'm just so grateful for you to come on and share, but, um, I'm more excited about what's in the horizon for you, man. What else is going on in your life?
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 2:So I just finished that last bike ride about two weeks ago, um, and I am looking forward to a little bit of like normal See um between the the fire Academy and training and planning for that whole ride.
Speaker 2:Because it was, it was fully self-supported and so we were carrying everything on our bikes, like all of our camping gear, all of our food, all of our water, everything for the entirety of it. So there was a lot of like logistical planning, you know, studying maps here and out where there were places we could resupply, buy food, fill water, camp, all that stuff. There's the whole planning process and there's the training process of riding a hundred plus miles a day for 27 days. And now I'm excited to kind of I'm still a baby firefighter, I'm still a probie, I think I'm the oldest probie in Louisiana, uh. So I'm excited to really focus on learning that job, hanging out and just taking it easy for a minute, and I'm sure something will come up again that eventually I'll get some wild hair up my ass and be like I'm going to go right up.
Speaker 1:Well, if anybody could do it, it'd'd be you.
Speaker 2:I know for a fact but, um, I I know that something will come up eventually, um, but for right now, I am just going to focus on the career, um, and and sharing everything. Know, talking about the ride. Still, we're still fundraising for the two nonprofits that I worked for, so I'll shoot you that information if you don't mind.
Speaker 1:Yes, please yeah.
Speaker 2:And yeah, so we're going to focus on some fundraising, we're going to focus on some firefighting and just enjoying life and and sharing my lessons learned and helping some other people along the way.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, brother. That's the best thing we can do. We all deserve to just have a little bit of normalcy in this crazy and chaotic world and everybody listening. Do me a favor right now go ahead and pause the episode. Head on over to the episode description. Click those links, uh, specifically those taking you to the non-profits, as zach mentioned, that are helping people today. Zach, if people want to get a hold of you and and uh, just reach out to you, where can they go and find you?
Speaker 2:on social media uh on instagram z-a-c-K door Zach, next door Nice OnlyFans.
Speaker 1:I'm kidding. Hey, it's 2025. If you don't have an OnlyFans for supplemental income, I don't know what you're doing. I have one. It's if you go to OnlyFans, look up for Petite Feet 76. Specializing foot pigs. That's how I make this happen. Ladies and gentlemen, watch, there's how I make this happen. Um, ladies and gentlemen, watch, there's somebody's only fan. It's actually somebody's doing this right now.
Speaker 2:Whoever they are, we're pretty excited that you just said that I'm making somebody money today.
Speaker 1:Man, oh, zach, dude, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your story to help somebody else that's out there that may need it today, because our suffering is not unique to us. It's one of the most human things. It's part of the human condition. If I'm sucking somebody out there is sucking just as bad, if not worse. Not in the ways that you would in OnlyFans. I'm talking about you know, going through something tough. It's life. Life's about suffering. Those moments in between when we're not, those are awesome. We got to celebrate those too.
Speaker 1:So if you're out there and you're having a bad day, pause and take a little bit of inspiration from Zach's journey and understand that this too shall pass. Tomorrow is a new day. You'll succeed again. Like our creed, the Green Beret creed says live to succeed again. I hope you all can borrow a little bit of motivation from that. You know your failures are not set in stone. You can recover. You can bounce back from anything, almost anything. It's a reference to somebody right now in our current pop culture and our veteran community that is still suffering from his own follies and his own issues from unintentionally profiting off. Made up sci-fi war stories. Oh man, love digging that guy Ego is a killer.
Speaker 2:It is the greatest thing.
Speaker 1:It keeps paying off for all of us in the meme war space. It's great. That's all. That's all. I'll end this episode reminding all of you that the greatest thing you can do is be of service to others. So please go out there, help somebody out today. Be good to each other. I'm Denny Caballero. Thank you for tuning in and we'll see you all next time. Till then, take care. Securepodcast is proudly sponsored by Titans Arms. Head to the episode description and check out Titans Arms today.
