Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
Michelle Lang: Building Veteran Support in Rural America | Operation Honor Rural Salute & Mental Health Advocacy
Let us know what you think! Text us!
In this powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Michelle Lang, founder of Operation Honor Rural Salute, to discuss the hidden challenges veterans face during the transition to civilian life—especially in rural America.
Michelle shares her personal journey as a veteran spouse and advocate, revealing how isolation, limited access to care, and lack of awareness about VA benefits can drastically impact the mental health and success of veterans and their families. She details her nonprofit's mission to bridge the gap through community outreach, resource festivals, and mental health support programs that empower veterans and spouses across the country.
From navigating post-service identity shifts to building grassroots solutions for underserved communities, this episode is a call to action for anyone passionate about veteran advocacy, mental health, and community impact.
🎯 Whether you're a veteran, spouse, caregiver, or advocate—this episode will leave you inspired, informed, and ready to make a difference.
👉 Don’t forget to follow, like, share, and subscribe on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts for more inspiring stories that honor those who serve.
BE A BRO! Support the show!!
buymeacoffee.com/sechaltpodcast
https://buymeacoffee.com/sechaltpodcast
Looking for hand crafted, custom work, military memorabilia or need something laser engraved? Connect with my good friend Eric Gilgenast.
Instagram: haus_gilgenast_woodworks_main
https://www.instagram.com/haus_gilgenast_woodworks_main/
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Operation Honor
02:39 The Transition Challenge for Veterans
05:22 Building a Nonprofit: Lessons Learned
08:16 Creating a Resource Library for Veterans
10:38 Innovative Outreach: Festivals for Veterans
13:36 Community Engagement and Support
16:11 The Importance of Face-to-Face Interaction
19:05 Breaking Down Barriers in Rural America
28:53 Life in Rural America: Dignity and Hard Work
30:09 Veterans and Their Connection to Home
32:00 Building Trust in Rural Communities
33:42 Shared Experiences and Connection
35:02 Understanding Fear and Seeking Help
36:15 The Importance of Education and Benefits
37:27 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life
39:13 The Role of Nonprofits in Transition
40:39 Empowering Military Spouses
43:04 The Unseen Burden of Military Spouses
45:45 Mental Health and Family Dynamics
48:25 Prioritizing Family for Career Success
50:18 The Journey of Healing Together
53:55 Intentional Relationships and Support Systems
Instagram: @securityhalt
Tik Tok: @security.halt.pod
LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
Follow Michelle on Social media!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ohruralsalute/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-baker-lang/
Website: https://www.ohruralsalute.org/home
Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go the only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent. It's hosted by me, danny Caballero. Michelle Lang welcome. How are you doing today?
Speaker 2:Good, how are you? Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I love finding nonprofits that are tackling the tough jobs and tough challenges. Now more than ever we have veterans that are trying to push away from the city life, trying to get out there, live in the country, find a slower pace of life and come to find out. It is hard to get resources when you unplug, when you find your peace. So Operation Honor is awesome being able to find our communities and being able to plug them in and make them more, not just resilient and making them self-service, but finding ways to connect them with the valuable resources that they've earned. They're supposed to be able to get at any moment's notice, but finding ways to connect them with the valuable resources that they've earned they're supposed to be able to get at any moment's notice. But before we dive into the mission and the story of how you started this nonprofit, it's important to understand where the idea came from, because more often than not, it's service members and their families that are solving these issues.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean true. And what I like to say is our story is not unique and that's why it needs to be told is because so many people want to feel like they are the only ones, they're alone, they're dumb, they can't figure it out, and it's just like it's not true we're all going through. I mean, when you transition from the military, it's just a different period of growth, but you expect to know what to do because you've been doing military life for the last whatever 10, 15, 20 years and you knew how to figure out the next step. And whenever you transition to civilian life, it's just like, yeah, duh, I know how to be a person, but it really is a different world. And so my family.
Speaker 2:We had that happen to us where my husband had a really bad transition and on the outside everything was cool, he had a job, we were back home in our home state, he had, you know, really strong support system with our family, but internally he fell apart because he no longer had a mission, he no longer had a purpose, he no longer, you know, he felt like he had the carpet ripped out from underneath of him. He didn't get to fulfill his duty, really. And so how can you do that? Whenever you're removed from that world? What's the point of wasn't enough for him. But it didn't scratch that itch. That military experience and the provider that he was with had no idea how to relate to him. Our life really really fell apart. We were on the verge of divorce. He was not well mentally. I mean, I was very afraid for his life. We eventually got it back together. He signed up for a deployment without telling me so. Luckily right before then it was all good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, while he was away, I started talking to other military spouses and veteran spouses and they were just like, yeah, we had the same issue whenever, you know, john got out. I couldn't find what he needed and these were like smart people, like lawyers, educated people. So it's not just you don't know what to do. It's an unfamiliar territory and I found in rural areas you don't even know who to ask because there's probably nobody there for you to even ask the question. It's not like you can just go to the S1 shop and say, fix it for me. So what do you do? And so we he got back in and we found ourselves at Fort Bragg and I was like, okay, this is a really opportune place to start a nonprofit and make some change, and so we've been doing this ever since 2021.
Speaker 1:Wow, man, a lot of unpack right there. So you initially transition, go through the identity, the purpose, the loss of all that, and then he decides to go back in what was. Were you thrilled at that decision?
Speaker 2:Honestly, I kind of was, because I kind of the military life is comforting to me as a spouse. And ask me 10 years ago if I would have felt the same way. I would have been like absolutely not. Because I gave up a career for my boyfriend at the time to move to a frozen tundra that is Fort Drum, remained unemployed, depressed, and I was just like, what have I done? What have I done? But eventually the military is just as comforting. I knew what to expect. I knew that we had a paycheck coming.
Speaker 2:You know, I knew that there's just so many knowns you have with the military, even though there's so many unknowns. Everything is figureoutable in the military. But whenever you're in the civilian world after, it's like starting over. It's like coming out of college and it's okay. Whenever you're in the civilian world after, it's like starting over. It's like coming out of college and it's okay whenever you're out of college, to be eating rice and beans and you know making it work. But when you're a grown adult and you're like feeling like you just graduated high school, graduated college, and you're like holy, like what are we going to do? It is scary, feeling like you're starting over. So for him getting back in. I was like okay, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now.
Speaker 1:It's often like a reset it can be and then it's a common story. You get out, the transition is awful, it's shaky, it's like a flight of nonstop turbulence and it's like wait a second, I don't love what I'm doing. I don't love this. I'm just going to run back in to what I know. It's a common story. I know so many people and if it's not going back to active duty, it's going to national guard getting that AGR getting at least some sort of footing into like what you know. The comfort of understanding, like this is my life, this is my world. But it also primes you. Just, this is my world, but it also primes you. Just like you said, it gives you a unique understanding of like okay, let's study how we failed, let's study what systems weren't developed, what didn't go right, how can I take this case study and make it purposeful, make it meaningful to help somebody else? And it sounds like exactly what you did tried our best, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean and and that we learned a lot of lessons. I always say I don't fail, just had learning experiences from it. Like nothing is ever a failure for me. I just learn from it and move forward. And if you're going to fail, fail forward.
Speaker 2:So fast yes yeah, and that's really what I I try to do. I, you know my husband married the right woman. I'm very stubborn, I'm very determined and you know, when he was in that space, I kind of just drug him along with me because I'm like son of a gun. We're going to figure this out, yeah, and I like to think that I can be that voice for people to have that same determination whenever, like, you don't have to have it all figured out, but you just have to keep trying and you're going to fail a lot, but if you're still trying, you're still in the game.
Speaker 1:Yep, never quit. It's hard to say and bring that up to somebody that's feeling completely lost, with no sense of direction, but you just have to keep paddling, keep moving forward, get your bearings one small foot forward, one small step forward each and every day to get you out of that hole which is it's uniquely tied to that transition journey. It's devastating for a lot of people. Nobody's free from that. I don't care if you're the most elite. The greatest of the great transition is going to kick you in the ass. It's going to be difficult. When you were developing this, how did that? Where did the idea come from and how did you first start going through like the idea of, okay, I'm going to build something, this is my new mission?
Speaker 2:Well, where we started is very different from where we're at now. So there's been a lot of pivots between 2021 to where we're at right now. So when we first started, it was like creating a database of local help nationally, because a lot of people didn't know that you could, that there were county veteran service officers that you could go and utilize, and not all county veteran service officers are created the same, and so it's there's just it's very, very complicated to do that, but that's where we started and we had different categories of help, and so we invested in this really robust tracking system, this database and, you know, had it all mapped out and it was beautiful.
Speaker 2:You know, data's beautiful, this map was gorgeous, but it's so tough because you don't have control over all those local organizations. And what I started to realize is what I have on my map, on my database, is a reflection of our organization and I could not with full integrity recommend these organizations, that particular veteran service officer, that particular veteran service officer, without knowing them personally. And so we made the switch from this large kind of generalized data system database to a much smaller, focusing just on rural and small town veteran resource library, and so I had to learn how to build a website. I had to learn all this stuff that I had no idea, and my first website was absolutely awful. It was, it was. I feel that pain. I'm still there. It You're the you know database technician, you're everything, and it's just like I went to school for business management essentially, and I have still used about zero of that degree. So thank God, my college has paid off because I don't recommend.
Speaker 1:Zero out of five stars, folks. Zero out of five.
Speaker 2:Had some really fun times, but I don't know if it was worth the price tag. Yeah, but I mean from where we started to where we are now. It's much more specialized and we focus a lot less on in-person resources. If you need an in-person resource, I still will guide you and direct you to them, but I'm going to have a conversation with them first before I recommend them to you. Who is on our resource library now? Only people that I've had many conversations with very good, very trusted resources that I know. Whenever you email them, whenever you ping them, whatever they are going to respond to you, they're going to help you and they're going to care enough that if they're not the one for you, they're going to recommend somebody else for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, that's a unique approach that is often missing. I've rented. You know there's nothing worse than trying to get somebody into care or a resource. You click on the website, you get the phone number and it's out of date. No one answers. There's nobody there, the services aren't real anymore and it's frustrating. It's frustrating because you never know what's going to land on that person's Google first page when they're reaching out for help and they're looking for the local area, and that is a missing thing. If you're listening out there, update your shit. If you're, if you no longer provide services, remove yourself from from Google. Remove, take down your website. There are a lot of people that are hitting these links, going to dead ends, and that's devastating. That's insane and it's incredible. It's a lot of work. It is not an easy thing to keep up and it's a man hats off to you that takes a lot of it's like. It's like being a detective, honestly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I liked it, like I was prepared for this, though In college. You know Facebook was popular and so you know our roommates. You'd find somebody you were dancing with last night and you're like, okay, we're internet detectives right now. All right, we're going to research. You found out that you lived in those dorms. This is your friend. So I was. We were built for this. My, my friends and I were built for this. We were internet detectives back in the day.
Speaker 1:Being a stalker online has helped.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:More than my college degree. I love it, so I did learn some things in college. It's difficult to figure out. It's like, okay, we want to launch, we want to help, we want to get out there. How do you get your name out there? How do you start helping? That's one of the difficult things for a lot of people. Everybody has the same for the most part. A lot of us have the same journey. We went through something. It was deeply difficult. It changed us. Now we get on the backside of that journey. We're doing better. We want to help. How do you turn all that action in an actual, meaningful way and actually start doing something good for others?
Speaker 2:I think I mean, if you choose to go the nonprofit route, the business route, what I've learned is that you've just got to humble yourself. Okay, so the position of authority that you were in, especially in the military community, where you already have that really strong network, you might have been super cool there, but, like starting a business, you have got to have that proof of concept.
Speaker 2:You've got to show that you can do the work. So, like you were cool with your, you know, really, really good at your job, but now you're doing something new, you've got to humble yourself a little bit, put in the work and build that trust, that collaboration, and then people are going to want to help you support your business. Also, don't expect friends and family and your neighbors to automatically support your business and don't be offended by it Like keep working, keep showing up, and it takes time. There's 44,000 plus nonprofits out there in the veteran space right now. It's wild. Some people are burnt out on nonprofits. Some people have been burnt themselves by nonprofits. Some people, whatever You've got to keep showing up. You've got to be humble and you've got to do the work and it'll get you there. But it is a slow process. I think that just comes down to a lot of it is remembering why you started and being humble enough to just continue to serve others in that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's true, like we have to. Everybody wants some like immediate success these days, whether it's a podcast, a YouTube channel, a nonprofit, a business. Um, rarely. You know. We're not everybody's going to be Mark Zuckerberg and that everybody's going to have the million dollar idea.
Speaker 1:So, if you really truly love the process they tell people, fall in love with the ugly parts all in love with the incredibly difficult parts of this, this journey that you're in the things that you hate the most. If you hate the social media side of the house, learn to love it. Figure out a way to make it enjoyable. Figure out a way to get excited about doing it. It's not fun, it's the worst thing out there, but in my experience, in my own lived experience, that's the thing that I hated and didn't want to do, and now I get paid to do it for other people. Um, I still think it sucks, but I found a way to understand that, yeah, man, like you can. You can be extremely successful with things that you don't really enjoy, it's long as you you understand that it's part of the greater mission and find aspects of you do love.
Speaker 1:I get to connect with a million people on a daily basis through several other different businesses. It's pretty awesome when it comes to nonprofit too. When you're helping other people, that feels great, that when you know you're connecting with a community of people that are able to reach out and say, hey, thank you for what you're doing. You helped me get X, y and Z. That has to be rewarding. And what has the outreach and the communication been like from the local communities that you're involved in helping?
Speaker 2:So we just wrapped up our last festival in Pennsylvania on the 10th and we did something new with that festival where we actually brought in different VA facilities and put them under one tent. So we actually have four different VA facilities under this tent and we advertise. We always bring in veteran resources to our festivals, because I trick people into coming to a veteran resource fair. It's like getting your kids to eat vegetables, you know, you just got to trick them a little bit, but we make it very, very fun. We have local nonprofits, we have national nonprofits. This year we added the VA facilities there and so we advertise. You know, bring your DD-214. If you want to get help, this is a big deal. This is your one shot to have them in your backyard. We brought in generators, we brought in hotspots. We allowed them to serve veterans where they were at.
Speaker 2:I mean, the stories from that tent alone was incredible. I mean I had one guy come up to me and say I got more done in 20 minutes today than I have in 30 years and I cannot thank you enough. Minutes today than I have in 30 years and I cannot thank you enough and it was just like. That is incredible because there is so much whenever you live in rural America. I don't think a lot of people realize to go to the VA in my hometown. If you were to go to the VA, you're traveling at least an hour over mountains. Whichever VA you go to, we live in Pennsylvania You're either going to West Virginia or you're going up north and it's not an easy route to get there. So if you're elderly, you're asking somebody to take off work to take you there. You're waiting there for an hour or two plus the appointment time, plus all the stuff that goes into it. So it's very intimidating for people to want to go there and even get the process started.
Speaker 2:A lot of people in these small towns in rural America don't even get themselves enrolled in benefits of any kind because they just they don't want to mess with it. They're in their 50s, they need hearing aids because their job I mean this guy's job in the Marines and his hearing is shot and now his job that he has now is getting worse and people are making fun of him because he can't hear. He's a good sport about it, but he's like yeah, I just never wanted to fuss with it, but I brought these people in on a Saturday. So now you have an excuse whether you're a shift worker or not. They were there from 10 am until 5 pm and I had one VA worker stay until 7. So 10 to 7, no matter if you are getting off work at 3, you were able to make that tent and buddy they did.
Speaker 2:They kept that VA tent busy and we had people coming from two hours away just to do that, because then that was a fun thing for them to do. It was fun to visit the VA to get their problem solved. They could then shop local craft vendors, veteran-owned military spouse-owned vendors from the food trucks. Their kids could play in the bounce house and they could go up the hill and watch live music. So that was by far the most rewarding part of that festival is seeing people immediately get the benefit. Well, I mean not get the benefits, but get enrolled in the system that they should have been enrolled in from the start.
Speaker 1:Wow, michelle, we got to unpack this section right now. I didn't understand how many veterans were reluctant to sign up for the VA benefits. They started engaging in face-to-face interactions and talking Our Gulf War veterans, vietnam veterans, individuals that served, even our current generation of GWAT veterans there are so many that get out and never deal with it, never get the benefits that they're owed because they don't want to hassle. Now, largely, there's that negative connotation with the VA. Some have definitely earned it. Other facilities are completely different and I understand that. Now I've seen the difference.
Speaker 1:But there's a stigma with signing up and getting your benefits, no matter how easy they make. It seem like going online, figuring stuff out online. Everybody has this general idea that it's just easier than ever, and that's not true. But we're also dealing with old myths and stigmas of it's impossible and it's not impossible. Some can be challenging, but it's not impossible. But some people still believe that it's just out of my reach. I'm not going to bother with it, but putting together a festival to bring providers out there, to bring the VA out there holy shit, break this down. Where did this idea come from? And, yeah, to tell us, talk us through this idea, because I think that's something that we need to be doing all around the United States.
Speaker 2:And that's our goal. So our goal is to do a basically a state festival in every state every year. So our long term goal is 50 festivals a year. Every year I try really hard to meet people where they're at and I'm lucky to have kind of like this unique marketing experience for rural America because of the hospital that I used to work at. My first job out of college was the community outreach coordinator for our small critical access hospital in my hometown, and so part of my job was helping to assess the community needs and then find grants, find programs or create them to meet that need, and so it's like everything's like a puzzle piece to me. But also I'm from rural America. We're a little bit salty, we're a little bit different, we're a little bit different. I don't know. We're not easy to market to, but that's part of the challenge that I love, and so these festivals are born of that. It's like how do I meet these needs in a way that the community wants them met? So I mean as a resource myself, I find veteran resource fairs very boring. You are getting the same clientele through who are there because they're ambitious. They are, you know, taking a hold of their life or maybe their command told them to be there. You know what I mean. So I'm not reaching the people that are just skating by because they don't have time to show up to these things or these things aren't available. So there's a couple of different things that happen at these festivals. The overall goal is for veterans to come and get the resources, but also have the community understand that there's resources available and then see how they can better support their veterans. Because what happens in small town America is we're super patriotic, right, we love America, we love our veterans. You drive down small town USA and you see the banners hanging on Main Street of the veteran picture or flag or whatever, and they say thank you for your service. But that doesn't solve the suicide problem, that doesn't solve homelessness, that doesn't solve a lot of problems. It's great to be thanked, but we need something real and so doing these festivals for the entire community, it just breaks down barriers because now you have the community that is able to see what all's available. It eliminates the intimidation factor for civilians to reach out to veteran service organizations and it also allows veterans to open up a little bit, and there's a lot of that happening in the aisles of this festival where veterans are opening up to each other. Civilians are kind of seeing all this happen.
Speaker 2:And so what we do to get people there is we just make it super duper fun for kids. And that sounds weird. But millennials, my friends and I noticed that you know we can't do anything unless it involves our kids, because we don't have people to watch our kids. You know there's this whole thing right now and so we have to make it super fun for kids, for people to get there, for that demographic in particular to get there.
Speaker 2:We have, like this year, we had bounce houses, mechanical bull axe throwing rock wall, dcnr brought animal pelts. We have fire trucks, military vehicles, really, really cool stuff, face painting, snow cones, funnel cakes, all that stuff. But then we also have shopping. So we have local vendors that come in, some civilians, a lot of veteran-owned craft vendors, food makers, military spouse-owned. We have the veteran resources that show up. We have food trucks. We bring in speakers.
Speaker 2:So this year we did like a local historian because in our town the Civil War came right through there, and so he did the history of the Civil War in Fulton County. We had a story time from the library. We had benefits experts, we had a veteran and military spouse entrepreneurship panel and then we have live music all day. This year we had a veteran-owned brewery come and do a beer garden. So it's like it literally is a festival that we put on to get people there to have fun and relax and just feel supported.
Speaker 2:But when you're walking up and down these aisles, we have really engaging veteran service organizations that you're going to want to these aisles. We have really engaging veteran service organizations that you're going to want to stop and ask questions to. 100% of the time those booths are full with people asking questions, getting the problem solved. I don't know. It's really an amazing experience to see, and I even had some vendors this year. That said, even if we did not sell a single thing, we would 100% come back just to witness what we witnessed in front of our booths, because there was so much healing. That happens and people don't expect that to happen. But whenever you're seen, I think you just let your guard down and you kind of accidentally heal a little.
Speaker 1:I 100% believe that A lot of times we get so bogged down with what we're doing on a day-to-day life that we're not connected with the support we need from people like us with the same lived experience, with the same backgrounds, with the same lived experience with the same backgrounds. And then you go to a festival not thinking that you're going to connect and engage and have discussions that go below that first, second and third layer of just random engagement, and you have a real down-to-earth discussion about, maybe, your service, what you're dealing with, what you're struggling with, and, rather than just leave the event without engaging anymore or getting help, you can actually go to somebody that can help you find an answer. That's incredible, that is. And yes, we are connected, now more than ever because of the internet and social media, but it's very superficial. This can never replace face-to-face engagement, can never replace having somebody be vulnerable and give you know, give, give insight to what they're struggling with and then in that moment literally point them into the right direction of being able to sit down and address that issue and that's a hundred percent needed more, more so than ever.
Speaker 1:Now we are so divided, so divided in the veteran space is kind of a negative echo chamber at time, because this doesn't help you actually.
Speaker 1:You know, stop being a jerk, stop being disgruntled. But you get in front of some live music, you get in front of people that care and you can sit down and be like wow, like okay, maybe I need to give away to this facade of being angry and disgruntled and just ask for help, because I've seen that in person as well too. The guy that doesn't want to get help and he's really into that fake persona. The moment someone's kind enough and says, hey, no, dude, you can get help, today we can literally get you to somebody a resource. They're like you know what? Yeah, I'll take a gamble right now let's do it. That's the best thing we can do for people is give them the ability to just start to process in person. It's so hard to champion a cause where it's online. It really is. Some people the younger generation, might, but our older veterans still want to be able to sit down in front of somebody and talk.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, especially in rural America. I mean, I still am the type of person where I would rather go into a store and talk to somebody and get my problems solved than have to deal with the customer service. Like I don't want all that. I want to go down to the store, like even whenever I'm home I'm going down to the local bank because our bank for my nonprofit is in. I'm going there in person and talking to you face-to-face, get my problems solved, because then I know that I have your full, undivided attention. So it is an efficiency measure for me. But I prefer that.
Speaker 2:Just, being from rural America, I need to look you in the eyes, I need to shake your hand, and this demographic in particular. Why I have such a heart for them is like I my daddy was a dairy farmer and we come from a line of dairy farmers. I know what life is like in rural America and I know how hard these people work and I know that they will not ask for help, but they are the first people to drop everything and offer help and I just I want to give back to them in a way that doesn't take their dignity. You know I'm not offering a handout to you, I'm not. I'm just trying to offer you what you've already earned and show you that it's not difficult to obtain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is so true. People have this idea that that way of life doesn't exist anymore, like a lot of people. Like the day of the cowboy is not at an end. The day of the individual that works a nine to five and a blue collar job hasn't come to an end, as much as people tend to think. Like people forget. Like it's no, it's alive and well and people are thriving. They just need access to the benefits they've earned.
Speaker 1:Transition's not easy and many of our veterans want to go back home. They want to go back to where they grew up. They want to go back to that life, whether it's ranching, whether it's working on a dairy farm, whether it's working in their family plumbing institution that they've built for generations. At a time like they want to stay in those jobs. They want to stay in that life and we need to be able to market to them and be able to meet them where they're at. That's the difficult part. Like how do we get away from the? Oh, just sign up online. Some people don't want to frigging. Do that. Like, how do we get to them?
Speaker 2:yeah, and it's. It's hard work getting resources to these areas and and for a while it took, you know, a little buy-in from them like trusting me to host this, but this was our third festival doing it and, um, you know, we've increased. My calendar is telling me I need to check my sourdough right now.
Speaker 1:Sorry, you are from a rural area. I knew it, Although these days sourdough is pretty popular everywhere.
Speaker 2:I know I'm like I don't have enough to do. I'm just going to try and keep one more living thing alive. So we have sourdough. I taught myself how to can. This week I canned green beans. I'm good Like I'm. Laura Ingalls is what I feel like. I'm very proud of myself.
Speaker 1:I am living this life, and here's proof.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I made my kid do some you know child labor. He picked green beans with me and I said don't you complain, this is what I, this is what your mother had to do. I had to walk uphill both ways to pick these green beans when I last year age.
Speaker 1:This is incredible insight because you're not just championing from. You know, the middle of downtown Raleigh. You're not championing from a city where you're removed from it. You're part of it. You're still part of this experience that you're passionate about, and that's commendable. A lot of times people lose that connective tissue to who they're trying to help. It kind of gives them that negative connotation of like oh, you're not from us anymore. Like I get it, you're trying to help but you're not from this. How has your life been now that you're? You know you're championing this cause, you're in it. Do you feel that the communities that you're helping find it easier to rally around you to support you because you're from there?
Speaker 2:I think I have automatic threat of similarity with people Right, and that's where it to a lot of corporations that try and come into rural america and and that's why there's not a lot of help. But I I don't necessarily have the look of rural america like. My hair is pink, I have two nose rings, I have tattoos, like I look not of them, but when I start talking to them and understand and just offer empathy, there's this similar vibe that it's like kind of like I think, meeting another veteran you know out in the wild, you just get each other.
Speaker 2:And so when I talk to people from rural America, we just get each other. And it's really funny because actually yesterday I had a meeting with this guy and he lives in a city now, but he grew up in very rural Georgia and he is probably 20, 25 years older than me, but we started talking about our childhood and so similar. I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, he grew up in rural Georgia, and the things that our parents said to us, the experiences we had you know, tending the land are just the way that we think, and how we've grown since then was so similar. It was just very beautiful to see that we're really not alone.
Speaker 2:Well, I say this all the time we are like in human existence, living in a very shared experience, but we often feel so alone and isolated. It's just because we're not having these type of conversations, and so we are way more connected than what you think. You're not a beautiful individual snowflake. We're all unique, yes, but we all have very, very similar experiences and that is such a wonderful thing, and so, yeah, I do think that it offers me the ability to have that little bit of trust, but I don't take that lightly and I protect that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's common humanity. If most of us finally understand it when we're going through suffering and go ahead and get help, and somebody helps us understand that our suffering is not unique and only connected to us or thousands, millions of people that have gone through what we're experiencing or similar things, and that understanding kind of helps lessen that pain, it's go. I'm not a unique person suffering this one thing by myself, but no connected to a larger experience. Like we, we all suffer. We all have good days, bad days, and I will. I will get through this this will dissipate.
Speaker 2:It's an important thing and there's no suffering Olympics, like there's no king of suffering. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:That's another thing I hear is like oh, I didn't have it bad enough to get my VA benefits. It's like, no, we're not in a race here, buddy, you're not going to win any medals for how little or how much you suffered. You're still entitled to things. And so I think I mean. What I've learned is everybody acts out of fear. I think fear is like a basic human emotion and whether you're you're angry, you're sad, like fear is very much a controller of our life, and if you're in touch with it, you can understand like, oh, I was just being an asshole because I was afraid. You know what I mean. Whereas, like, I think that's where that disgruntled mindset comes in, especially people that don't want to get help. It's just like what if I ask for help and I get rejected?
Speaker 1:Yes, man, that's a, that is such a true sentiment that if you get somebody vulnerable enough finally comes out to the open. That is, that's a hard one to deal with and it's like man, like who hurt you? Like what did you experience in life that made you feel this way? Like no dude, like you deserve to get everything you, you, you, you've earned, you served, you gave willingly for many years and even if it wasn't many years, even if it was one or two, like you served, you gave your time, gave your youth. You deserve your benefits. It's a hard thing to explain to some people because maybe they've been around a lot of suffering, maybe they've seen loss, they've seen friends have lost limbs, eyesight, have been deeply impacted by war, and they realize, oh shit, I was lucky to make it out alive unscathed, I didn't suffer, I don't need these benefits. It's like, no, you do All of us Education. Like, no, you do All of us Education, you've earned your educational benefits. Go learn a skill, go learn a trade that will make you better in your community. Like you've earned.
Speaker 1:That Education is one of the hardest things to sell to, because people are like, well, I earned my GI Bill, but I don't need to go get schools. No dude like it can make you better. It can help you live a better life if you use it, for you know you don't have to go to college. You can get you know, help with you know, financing for you know that skill or trade that you want to enhance and improve. And those are all unique things that are out there and people just I've seen people and their quality of life improve when they're willing to bet on themselves and that's easy. One of the easiest ones to get people signed up for is your GI benefit. Go back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, people. I mean, you don't have to suffer greatly in war. A lot of times you sacrifice your youth for the country, like you sacrifice the development of your prefrontal cortex. Do you know what I mean? Like we're not making decisions that are super awesome, like safety briefs are real for a reason, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There's some work you've got to do and, just like the military in general, is very purposefully designed. You know how you run through boot camp and this is me as an outsider who has no idea, but just studying the way that tribes have to build trust with each other and even fraternities. It's like whenever you're in, you're in, Like I went through this hard thing with you. I've, you know, went through this trauma with you. We're in, and then what they don't do well is they don't deprogram you from that coming out of the military. And so there's this really big mindset shift that has to happen, but that does not happen whenever you're getting ready to transition out. And going in. The military is very intentional on how they program you to be a soldier, be a Marine, whatever, but there is no programming how to be a civilian.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, we always talk about. There's a conveyor belt system built to get you in. There's always a system to get you to the next echelon of service where there's a selection process. If you want to go, become a Green Beret and become the best of the best, there's always a process. There's always in a care for you. You get the best medical care on the backside.
Speaker 1:Transition, I'm sorry. Soldier for Life, program Zero out of five stars, absolute zero out of five stars. It's my podcast, I guess I don't know why. I'm like wondering about cussing. I swear all the time Dog shit, absolute, dog shit. Swear all the time. Dog shit, absolute, dog shit, absolute.
Speaker 1:The worst fucking thing you could ever do is put a star major that never had a job, never transitioned, and put them in charge of SFL life to process and help guys get to the next. It was the worst thing and it's still dog shit. I don't understand why we have this idea that it's good enough. There should be a clear pipeline and a clear process to help every single transitioning service member on the outside. But we built this reliance on nonprofits, on outside entities that can help. I'm a project of the Honor Foundation. I don't know if they want to be associated with that, but they helped me and I always give them a free shout out, always champion their cause because it did help me.
Speaker 1:I'm proof Look, I'm a dog shit entrepreneur, but at the end of the day, I am doing it, it is happening, bills are getting paid, there's income coming in. So, fuck, yeah, it's happening, but not everybody gets a chance to go through that, not everybody has the opportunity, and it shouldn't be that way. It absolutely shouldn't be that way. When you look at the way that you're structured as a nonprofit, what are some of the avenues that you're excited to get involved in? Is transition process something that you see yourself getting into?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so one of the things that I've been doing is Fort Bragg has a the name has just escaped me, but it's basically a trade school on Fort Bragg. What is it called? Home Builder, home Building Institute, nice, okay, so it is for people, and the thing that sucks is that you have to be like a couple weeks out from your ETS or have already E ETS and do this. So really to transition, well, you need one to two years. Two years is ideal.
Speaker 1:Thank you. I've been saying that, thank you. Yeah, two years, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, you, I mean, it takes a while to get your shit together, really, but so I get to go in every I don't know six weeks, two months to talk to the graduating class, and again, it is a little bit too late, but at least I can offer some type of help. Where now, like, I'm supposed to go and talk about Operation Honor? Right? The first thing I ask is how many of you have ever heard of the words mental transition? None of them raised their hand because nobody's going in and talking. Like, I'm going to talk to you right now as a spouse. You can believe me or not, but I'm going to talk to you about the ways that you're going to feel after you leave.
Speaker 2:Whether you are normal or you've had a wonderful childhood or you've had a wonderful army experience, whatever, you're going to feel some type of way whenever you leave and you need that support system. So now we've built this relationship with the people that work there. I said would it be okay if we offer for spouses to come in? Because, as a spouse, when my husband was transitioning, going through SFL, tap, I would have loved to sit there and understand what the hell we were supposed to be doing. I don't know if it would have done much, because I'm not a fan of SFL TAP. I don't know if it would have done much because I'm not a fan of SFO tap, but at least I would have had an idea.
Speaker 1:You know I would have felt included in my own life. Absolutely. We talk about this a lot. The primary person that needs to be addressed and I don't care if you drag me through the comments, I lived it the primary person that needs to be addressed that they failed to address in transition is the spouse who manages the money, who manages the budget for the family, who's always leaning forward on tracking everything for the family. The spouse who is constantly not addressed throughout any of the transition programs. The spouse I never had an understanding of what the fuck was going on in my house and for the vast majority of my career I didn't have a fucking spouse. And then, when I got married, even though we were dual military, guess who understood more about our finances to structure what we were going to and what was down the pipeline for our family? My wife, and nobody fucking focuses on it.
Speaker 1:High achievers marry high achievers and, just like you talked about earlier, you gave up your career to be fully focused on the family.
Speaker 1:We have spouses that are driven, determined, that are kick-ass individuals, that are looking for a mission. Why don't we prime them for the greatest fucking mission of their career, which is a transition, and empower them with the knowledge that they need. Make the focal point of the transition process the family, not just the individual service member who's going to really track that information. Because let me tell you that individual is going to sit down for an SFL tap brief and he's going to retain probably 20%. You get the spouse involved. You're going to get the most focused individual there with a binder, with a notebook, with tabs, ready to write down shit, because she knows that it's important for dummy to go to his freaking QTC appointments. He's going to brain dump that because he's still working, he's still meeting the requirements of his unit. So, SFL tap and any transition program, you need to make room for the family, make room for the spouse, have child care available, have meals available.
Speaker 2:And we have programs like ASYMCA you know what I'm like. We have. They provide child care, so it is is very doable. I don't know why it's not a thing yet and this is a really controversial opinion that, I think, makes some people mad, especially if like Do it, say it. That I'm Listen. It might irritate some people. The military runs on the unpaid labor of military spouses. Ok, I'm so fucking.
Speaker 2:Say it again there is so much that we do behind the scenes to keep. I try and make my husband's like we were. We operate as a team, one thousand percent. He has. You know, I'm the CEO. He's a CEO, like we. Whatever, we have dual positions, we operating in tandem but doing very different things.
Speaker 2:And I know without me his life is really, really hard, because sometimes I travel for work and he's left trying to do everything Whenever he's gone for a couple months. It's hard for me but there are so many things that have to and like military spouse mental health needs to be talked about more because we are so not okay and we are like I always feel like I'm like banging on the glass door and like don't forget to get our paycheck fixed, while my husband's like running around at work, like you know, with his hair on fire, like my God, like you know what I mean, like I'm just like banging, like don't forget to do that, but I can't go do it because I'm not even a freaking number. At least he's a number. I'm not a number I can't call in and ask about this stuff. I can't take that off of his plate. But like we are not okay here, isolated, we're afraid to talk to each other and what does that do to the service member? It makes them when I am not okay and I've had some serious mental breakdowns. Especially I had postpartum depression, like I was very suicidal with my second kid while my husband was deployed. That made his deployment a nightmare, an absolute nightmare, on top of all the other nightmares he was dealing with in his deployment.
Speaker 2:When a military spouse mental health is suffering, do you think their service member is having a super fun time? No, but like we are so unseen, we're like invisible here and I cannot say enough good things about my husband's previous command. He was amazing. And again I had other postpartum issues with my last son and when I was not doing okay and Colonel Vega knew and just told my husband leave your family is the most important thing. Go home and take care of your wife, go home and do this. I felt horrible because I don't want to be a burden to people but I was so grateful that I had my husband there. So much harder for him and it made me push my husband to work harder and do better and, you know, support him more and that is such a big piece that's missing, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so true. We can't function without a healthy family at home, and our wives often are dealing with so much more than we can actually like comprehend. And caregiver fatigue is a real frigging thing. Anxiety, depression, ptsd and all the shit that we carry doesn't just affect us, it bleeds off to our family. If we're struggling, they're struggling. And if you and I've said this before and I'll say it again if you've ever heard your wife say, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, run to get help. Run to get help for yourself and then, when you're no longer struggling, when you're no longer drowning, get your wife support, because what you're dealing with she's dealing with. I am telling you, the worst thing that you'll ever go through is divorce. The worst thing you'll ever go through is a failure in your family unit. Don't put it second, don't make it a third priority, make it the single priority. That's the key to your success in your military career that nobody talks about. If you just focus on getting healthy first, then getting your wife healthy, and then focus on the kids, focus on your family unit first, your career is going to skyrocket. It will. It will absolutely.
Speaker 1:I've studied it. I've been doing this long enough to talk with individuals. The same positive lived experience things that always comes across last when I talk to a guest is when my military career was at its worst, when my family was at its worst, when I was struggling. Everybody was struggling, but the moment I prioritized my healing, the moment I prioritized my family and my wife and put them first, my career did better. We all need to take a knee, and your spouse at home deserves to take a knee too. That's why when guys get help and they go to treatment centers and they come back home, their spouses are justifiably angry because you're coming back and you're like I've got all these skillsets, I've got mindfulness, I learned how to meditate, and your wife's in there, exhausted as fuck, like fuck you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Everybody deserves Must be fucking nice, bro yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I totally, I totally get that and that's basically like what my husband and I have been like for the last 10 years healing, because there was a lot of really like from before military, some mental health issues that absolutely bleeds over onto many people's military careers that never get addressed, but whenever you start addressing them like my husband and I have such a good, deep relationship right now and he has finally found what he wants to be when he grows up, like he just finished his school I'm so, so proud of him and I'm like he's doing so well.
Speaker 2:We've always supported each other and we've always been there for each other to our best capacity at that moment, even when we didn't have much to give, and we've always figured it out. And what I can say to people that have gone through that or are going through that is you are not going to feel like you love each other every single day, but like love is showing up for each other every single day. It's not, it's not a feeling, and there is no one better to support you than your spouse. It is like the most intimate relationship you can have with somebody, and to really, really lean on them and trust them is something that, if you're not good at doing, get into therapy and figure out how to do it so you can make a marriage work through a military career, because it is tricky.
Speaker 1:It is, but it can be the greatest journey ever. You just have to be able to work together and view each other as a solid team. The team at home is more important. Sorry, again, you're going to hate me. You're going to direct me to the comments. Your team at home is the greatest asset you have and the most important team, because at the end of your time, when you finally check out and you get that wonderful DD2-4 team, your platoon, the company, the ODA, everybody else is going to say see ya, and they no longer have your back. They'll be there, they'll support you, they'll love you. From afar. Might get some text threads and some memes out of them, but they're not your primary source of support. They're not going to be there. You're not going to be in a team room anymore. You're not going to be in a company area, but you're going to be in the house.
Speaker 1:Earn your spot on that team. Make that team the priority. Go through fucking selection for them, earn their love and respect and earn that spot. You have to. It's not just freely fucking given. You earn that spot every single day, just like you did for your Green Beret or Tambourine or whatever specialty you have.
Speaker 1:Earn that spot, earn the right to lay your head on that pillow and be able to look at your spouse and say, man, like, all right, I'm their guy, I'm their father, I'm their husband, like, they want me there and I'm there for them. It's not going to be easy, it's a lot of work, but it's the greatest job, it's the greatest calling you'll ever get. I'm sorry, it's not the military, it's the family unit. That's what we need. We need more individuals that can view that as being their greatest calling, because that's the greatest thing on earth. That's the greatest thing we can all hope to achieve one day being a dad and being a husband.
Speaker 1:And more people need to understand that. And what better way to frigging end this on a on a positive note than like understanding that, like you've cut, you guys came through an entire journey just to get to where you're at right now and it's because you guys are solid that you're able to give so much to other people. That's what people don't realize. Being a nonprofit space, being willing to advocate for other people and pour into everybody else's cup, is fucking draining. But if you've got a good support system, if you've got a good family, if you've got that solid team at home, you can do it all day, every day.
Speaker 2:I agree, I mean it's, it's something that, um, you know we're so willing to work hard at our jobs, we're so willing to, you know, work for that promotion, whatever. But our culture right now has made it that it's not cool to work on your marriage. It's not cool to and it's so weird Like our. There's a quote about, you know, marriage being the bedrock of our society and like we are not okay if we do not have that support system. Human beings were never meant to do life alone. We have lived in tribes, we have lived in commune for ever, but yet we're alone and we're not even turning to our spouses Like, do the hard work. It is so, so ugly and messy and you know you have to. Looking yourself in the mirror and really examining you is horrifying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's so worth it. It really really is so worth it.
Speaker 1:It is. Yeah, it's the greatest thing. And I'll add to that don't just jump from frivolous relationship to frivolous relationship. You're not going to find deep, meaningful love and satisfaction jumping from one thing to the other, and that's why I always tell people like be intentional with who you're dating, be intentional with who you're finding out there in the world. If you can avoid the dating apps, do it, because, let me tell you, it is one of the greatest things when you meet somebody and it's an authentic engagement and it's not predicated on an algorithm. It's not an app-based system that just said, yeah, fuck it, you two are a match. Do the hard work, find the right person, because, man, life's better when you have that home team. That's, that's rock solid. Yeah, it's, michelle. I can't thank you enough for being here, and people want to get in touch with you and they want to be able to get you for support and assistance. Where can they go?
Speaker 2:Well, you can go to our website. Oh, real saluteorg. We have a contact form. You can find me on Facebook, operation Honor Rural Salute, instagram, oh Rural Salute, or email is michelle at OH Rural Salute.
Speaker 1:Awesome. I can't thank you enough for being here. If you guys are watching or listening to this, please do me a favor. Pause right now. I'll wait. Go to the episode description. Look at all those links. They're great. I now have a YouTube channel manager. They're going to update all the links so they can look usable. They're actually clickable, because I've been fucking that up for a while now, but now that's not my job anymore. Look at me. Look at me. Honor Foundation. I'm entrepreneur-ing-ing-ing. I can't even spell it.
Speaker 2:I always fuck that up.
Speaker 1:You're crushing it, michelle, and we're doing good. We're doing good. It's the Lord's work over here at Security Halt, but it's neither here nor there. Now back to you. Please click those links, please donate support and, if you need help, swallow your pride. You're not alone. Everybody needs support. Reach out to Michelle today and she can point you in the right direction. Again, michelle, thank you for being here. Thank you for what you're doing.
Speaker 1:This is an awesome episode. We dove into so much man. It was awesome. And to all y'all listening, thank you for supporting the show. I'll ask you to share this with a friend, like, follow and share across the worldwide interwebs for us. Thank you so much and we'll see you all next time. Then take care. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom, forward slash SecHawk podcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram X or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhawkcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. And remember we get through this together. Thank you.
