Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
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Security Halt!
Surviving the Unthinkable: A Soldier's Grizzly Bear Attack
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Shayne Burke shares his incredible story of surviving a grizzly bear attack while hiking on Signal Mountain, highlighting the physical and psychological journey of recovery that followed. From his military deployment in Iraq to the life-threatening wilderness encounter, Shane offers powerful insights about resilience, trauma, and finding purpose through life's most challenging moments.
• Joined the military after 9/11, serving in Iraq as a mechanic in transportation
• Lost three fellow soldiers to suicide after deployment, highlighting the mental health struggles many veterans face
• Developed a passion for wildlife photography after his father's death from cancer, finding healing through nature
• Encountered a grizzly bear and her cub while hiking alone on Signal Mountain
• Survived the attack when his bear spray canister punctured in the bear's mouth during the mauling
• Applied multiple tourniquets and managed severe injuries while waiting for helicopter rescue
• Endured 62 staples, shoulder reconstruction surgery, and ongoing physical therapy
• Faced misconceptions and criticism online from people claiming he provoked the bear
• Uses his experience to help others struggling with trauma and mental health challenges
• Continues working for the Department of Defense while navigating his recovery journey
If you're struggling with mental health or addiction issues, you're not alone. Connect with your support network or check the episode description for helpful resources. Remember, it's okay to ask for help.
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Chapters
0:00 Introducing Shane and His Military Background
8:20 Life as a Mechanic in Iraq Deployment
14:15 Dealing with Loss and Mental Health
21:25 Hiking on Signal Mountain
26:55 The Grizzly Bear Attack
33:10 Survival and Emergency Response
43:35 Recovery and Public Misconceptions
49:30 Mental Health After Trauma
56:15 Life Reflections and Finding Purpose
59:35 Closing Thoughts and Resources
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LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go the only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent and it's hosted by me, danny Caballero.
Speaker 2:Shane, welcome to Security. Odd Podcast brother, how you doing? I'm well. How are you doing? Doing well? Been following you for a minute. Your story, I mean I think in modern cinema there isn't a scene more fucking blood-turning and gory than the revenant when he's being mauled by that fucking grizzly bear and the entire thing is shot. Well done, I mean, just from the, the actor himself, leonardo dicaprio, the director, it really feels like you're there. And then I stumble on your, on your page, and I see that you actually survived the real fucking thing and, uh, I mean we'll dive into that. But before we dive into the details of surviving a grizzly bear attack, let's dive into your story. Man, like, how did you find yourself in the military and tell me what life's like? Oh man, um so it's.
Speaker 3:It's kind of a rocky story, mean.
Speaker 3:So ultimately 9-11 happened and I was in sixth grade so couldn't join then, but I did tell myself I was going to join right after high school and that's kind of a promise my dad kept reminding me that I made with him throughout the years, because I almost dropped out a couple of times just to join the military and go, and he made it very clear that it was very important to him that I graduated high school at least, um, which I'm super, super thankful for him pushing me to do that, um, regardless of the outcome of my military career.
Speaker 3:Um. So, yeah, I guess it started with that and it also kind of started with me um somewhat romanticizing, uh, seeing my brother in his ROTC uniform or ROTC sorry, and uh, I was like that's fucking cool man, like I want to be like that when I grew up and I always looked up to my older brother in a lot of ways. Um, he uh yeah, and so those were the two main reasons that kind of pushed me to to go that route. Um, so I got kind of screwed over by my recruiter as many of us do a tale as old as time, I know.
Speaker 3:Huh, he really pushed me to just join and so he kind of talked me into joining the reserves and he's like, listen, man, you join the reserves before you're out of high school. That's a year off your contract, that's only 19 years. You got to do to hit 20. And of course I'm like, yeah, sure, that sounds legit. Yeah, so I joined into the reserves and, lo and behold, it doesn't work that way. And so I went to basic training. I went to Fort Benning, sand Hill, bravo 247.
Speaker 3:And I came back home, finished my senior year of high school, so I did the whole split up thing. I left again for AIT and then I got back from AIT and my recruiter was like you can always just join, you know, active duty Once you get out of school. I got back and the active duty wanted to take me there. Like, uh, we're not taking prior service right now. And I'm like, well, shit, dude, shit dude, I just graduated school. It doesn't make sense, but whatever.
Speaker 3:So I ended up, um, getting to my unit and I tried going active again and they were like, I don't know, we got, we got, uh, deployment orders. You're not going anywhere. And I'm like oh okay, so I go to iraq. Um, so I was actually like stationed in kuwait, but we drove from ku, from Kuwait, into Iraq all over and we just fob hopped all over Iraq. So I was in a transportation company, which most of my career has been transportation. I'm a mechanic, uh, record operator, but um yeah, so pretty much did that. That was great. I mean, you know what time period was that? So that was 2010.
Speaker 2:I got in, okay, yeah, so still lots of IDs. That time period, yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 3:I never got hit. Uh, we, honestly it it was. It was pretty quiet. My deployment wasn't, you know it wasn't driving like in the U S. It's still kind of crazy at times times, but I don't know. I'm sure you, being a green beret, you definitely probably did some time in iraq and definitely afghanistan. So, um, what y'all went through is you know I, whatever I talk about my military career, I always try to like say you know, my time in iraq was you know what I saw in a whole year. Some of those guys saw in a week like it's, it's just, you know it's two different worlds.
Speaker 2:You know, you, you we have to. We have to understand too that like your experience is your experience. And like dude, like then that time period it was a year long deployment, man, like that's fucking insane, that I mean. And and I got it World War II guys, they were there until it was over, right, but for our generation that was a fucking year your life, yeah people don't get that either.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, I was there for 11 months, 11 months um, that's a lot, man.
Speaker 2:That's a fucking lot, dude, yeah, and you the um. The thing that I I understand completely is maybe you didn't hit an id, but you drove every single fucking day under that threat of like fuck, am I gonna hit something? Yeah, and that's that and it's. You know, that brings about a lot of fucking stress, man, I still talk to my guys that are like dude, I hate driving. If it's more than three hours of fucking hate driving, yeah, it's no small task, man, and hats off to you.
Speaker 2:Because our motor t, our record drivers, our mechanics, like unsung fucking heroes, man, uh, I don't want to fucking do the job and I certainly don't want to do it in iraq or afghanistan or any shithole where it's hot, blowing heat like dry. The people can't understand the blow dryer hot, yeah right. So, yeah, dude, like you guys, you guys kept it moving, you guys kept us on the fucking road. Man, and you continue. Everybody right now, every motor t record driver, mechanic, you still fucking do that day in and day out. It's always ungrateful. We jump down your throat getting those vehicles dispatched and then we bring them back, barely serviceable, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I've exchanged some co-forwards with operators before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man. So please, dude, don't ever minimize your experience because it wasn't on the cover or wasn't turned into a tv show, because, let's put it, let's fucking kill that myth. I love saying that not not every deployment is going to be worthy of a fucking 45 minute episode of navy seals on tbs. I recently was having a breakfast with the gentleman. He's like you watch, uh, you watch Navy SEALs on CBS Great show. And I'm like exactly, it's a great, it's a great show, man, I'm. First of all, we all don't look like that. We don't look like fucking angel from Buffy, and not everybody gets a fucking sexy ass. A guy on call mission dude, some individuals are unsung heroes, are out there fucking turning wrenches, um, and that's, that's warfare, man. You, um, you don't always get the machine gun running around and fucking shooting people in the face, sometimes it's just daily, dedicated fucking service to the greater good of the mission. Man, yeah, we couldn't have done it with guys and gals like you. Absolutely, man, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, man, yeah, it was, it was, you know it was, it was a fine time like we had some hardships. You know, honestly, I've lost three guys to suicide since um, from that deployment Dude, that sucks, man. One of them was one of my best friends and they need to be up all the time His anniversary. I got goosebumps right now. His anniversary is coming up in August. Um, so, yeah, it's, that's always hard, man.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, people need to understand that it's not, um, it's not always what they think. Suicide can affect anybody, anybody that serves. We just lost two, two guys, close proximity, and it always happens around summertime, man, I don't know why a lot of theories are out there because fighting season was in Afghanistan in the summertime, but I mean, it wasn't really observed the same way in Iraq either, but summertime, you see, the numbers go up. Like I said, just lost two and it's a beast man, and it happens to anybody. It can happen to anybody. Any MOS Make fun of us one all the time, but shout out to you guys too, man.
Speaker 2:It's just a funny, funny situation where we find ourselves these days you make it through deployments, you get it down the line, you, you, you survive, shit, um, and you never think that, uh, it's going to affect you and you never think it's going to affect you until you're that person going through it, like in your journey. How have you dealt with that? I mean, you know we just we opened up the Pandora's box on this topic. How have you been dealing with it?
Speaker 3:And uh, you know he, uh, ironically, he died on a motorcycle accident a year later or you know, the next year and um, I've held onto that for a long time. Um, you know it's one of those like live because he didn't get a choice, you know. Yeah, so anytime I'm feeling a certain way, I try to remember that um experience with him and how he kind of talked me off that ledge and it's been up and down since. I've had a lot of things happen in my life. You know, aside from the reason why we're talking and the deployments and stuff, the other thing is like I just try to be a role model. I just got back Well, not just got back, but I was in Poland on a deployment or rotation, if you will, um, and it was interesting because it was the first time I was in an active duty status as a leader.
Speaker 3:So I was a squad leader at the time and my boys they've shot out to third squad, sloppy, third, we called ourselves man, we, we fucking ran that place and my boys like to party and um, you know I had to had to reel them in a few times and get them off that because it's really easy to go down that slippery slope. And um, in that country, particularly because it was just so cheap and, um, you know, I, they looked up to me and then I was getting phone calls from them. You know, on the on the edge, you know on the ledge themselves and just like trying to cope with coming home and they feel like so pathetic because they're like dude, we didn't even deploy to combat zone and we feel this way and it's like, man, you've probably got some residual stuff going on that might not necessarily be tethered to your military career, but maybe your childhood or something like that, and it's just this all manifests, it's all interconnected and my childhood, like it was pretty rough in certain ways. Um, and that's all the stuff that I'm kind of currently unraveling now as an adult. Um, but having them look up to me and call me when they're not doing okay, really like makes it worthwhile to stick around.
Speaker 3:You know, when we before we left country, so when I got home from Iraq I ended up getting a DUI doing all that dumb dance, and so when we were in Poland and we were leaving, I I tried. You know, basically our platoon. So I was like Starnberg, you have anything to say? And I'm like listen, guys, the whole platoon. I was like some of y'all have been partying pretty crazy out here. You're going to go home with that same mentality and you're going to get behind the wheel and you're as I guarantee you, someone in this company is going to get a DUI within the first like six months. We're home. Don't be that guy. It's not worth it. Do your best to not be that guy. You know and unfortunately one of my guys got one and then another guy in my platoon got one, and you know it's you can only lead a horse to water. You're not going to make them drink, but, um, absolutely man, yeah, man yeah, absolutely so yeah, and you know, like booze is also like just such a toxic thing.
Speaker 3:Like I'm drinking non-alcoholic one right now and um it that's always been kind of my nemesis with bad thoughts and stuff. So I try to navigate that as well as I can, but I'm only human, you know. Um, yeah, well, yeah, absolutely. And then I've also like I've helped a lot of friends that like have been going through the same thing, and it's I always try to answer my phone for them and be there for them or show up any way I can, and it's it really like makes you feel, um, like you're not alone when someone trusts that they can call you and you can show up for them, and I think that's helped me a lot. So if that answers that question, yeah, absolutely, dude.
Speaker 2:The um it sucks, man. Um, alcohol is that thing that has taken so many lives in my. In my own journey, man, I've lost more friends to alcohol and drugs and than anything. It's the one constant constitute that we get handed as a resource. And next thing, you know, like it, it's so fucking hard, specifically with this one individual because he didn't want to believe there was anything fucking wrong with him and he was so good at hiding his disease, so good at hiding it. I mean, if you're listening and you, you even question yourself and how much you're drinking.
Speaker 2:Do yourself a favor, do a 30-day fucking cleanse just take it out of the system just fucking stop a little bit, you know it's too many lives are being lost, man, like you never know when it's too many lives are being lost, man, like you never know when it's going to become something. That's an issue and that's a reality, because I've I've known this individual since I was a. You know, it was a since day one of being a green beret, day one. And now this dude's destroyed. He destroyed everything.
Speaker 2:It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, is what it was. And it came true, absolutely came fucking true. And it sucks. And to see where the wreckage that it creates, the lives are destroyed from just one substance that gets underneath and just fucking destroys you, man. It's volatile, oh yeah, and it just changes everything and it just ruins it, man, cause, forever, like that incident is now tied like to who you, who that person was, and he was more than that, he was more than the alcohol, he was more than the disease, cause it truly is a disease. It was a fucking great individual, amazing strong individual, and then it fucking destroyed them.
Speaker 2:Like you can't liver disease, man, like what are you going to do? You can't come back from that, like just slowly fade away. And that's just one individual. This month there's another one recently, and that just fucking hurts, man, and if you're listening and you're struggling, just know you're not alone. Man, there's so many resources for dealing with alcohol addiction. Reach out. I'll put some in the episode description. You deserve more. You deserve a greater life, you deserve to be the best version of yourself and and sometimes it means walking away from alcohol. Um, yeah, man, it's, it's not easy, but we just gotta keep moving along, keep advocating for the right stuff, like um, yeah, yeah it was really, really um, very well said, um.
Speaker 3:I appreciate that take a lot, because I've been struggling with that for the last few months actually, where I've been making some risky choices and just not being the best version of myself, and that's why I decided to take a 30 day pause. I did have one last night, but I got some bad news yesterday that my dog has bladder cancer and, uh, I just needed to take her for a walk and have a drink. So that's what I did, but I had one, so that's it.
Speaker 2:Well, kudos for you for starting this challenge, man. I hope it brings a lot of clarity and it helps you just realize like we don't fucking need it, man. I know I did, but everybody has a choice. That's the thing. Everybody has a choice. And you at home, you can call me a fucking loser, you can say I'm full of shit. That's your choice. You figure it out. You want a drink, you drink. There's nothing wrong with it if it's your choice. But I'm going to just politely say and be that voice in your ear that says, hey, maybe you can relax with something else, maybe you can do meditation.
Speaker 1:Maybe, you can go out for a walk in the woods, but, as we both know, that also comes with some great risks.
Speaker 2:So how did you get introduced? Was nature and being outdoors always a part of your life?
Speaker 3:It was. Yeah, I grew up with like it wasn't our property but we had like 200 acres behind our house. Um, we had full, full range out there. The property owner never didn't really care, as long he made money off his trees so he just didn't want us to fuck with his trees, but outside of that he really didn't care. Um, so I was always out in the woods and I was always mostly by myself.
Speaker 3:I'm a loner through and through. It's funny because I do have a lot of friends, I'm very social, but I need that time to myself to recharge and just get away from all the bullshit and drama and stuff. So, yeah, I grew up with my father was an outdoorsman. He taught us to respect wildlife and and nature to the best of our ability. Um, you know, if you see an animal suffering, you end it. If you kill an animal, better not make it suffer. Things like that.
Speaker 3:Um and I. Just really after my deployment to Iraq um, I actually that. Um and I just really after my deployment to iraq, um, I, actually first thing I did when I got home, aside from drinking a lot, I ended up buying a camera and, uh, so that was that quickly became one of my passions and for about I don't know two years, I was always with a camera and then it broke and I was just like, oh okay, like I'm too poor to afford another one, so fuck it. I'll just kind of put that in the back burner. But I still was always out and about in nature and I discovered rock climbing, which, through and through, saved my life, like really gave me an outlet, um to get away from being such an alcoholic. I guess, like I'm not afraid to you know, openly admit that I definitely at one point I was an alcoholic, and I guess, like I'm not afraid to you know, openly admit that I definitely at one point I was an alcoholic and um, but climbing really saved me from that Cause. It just gave me something to focus my energy on. And and um, you're not, you can't really perform well the next day as an athlete if you go out partying until 2 AM the night before. Um, so fast forward a little bit.
Speaker 3:And um, my dad gets sick from colon cancer and um, he was my idol man, like he was always, you know, he didn't have much but he always provided, and um, he really took care of his family and he was such a giver and um, you know, when I lost it, like, well, so I kind of I ended up going on active duty for a little while, um, which really worked out to be perfect because I was able to afford the mortgage and keep a roof over his head as he provided for me my whole life, um, and just really pay it forward before he left this realm and um. So while I was on active duty, I was making pretty good money and so got all that BH and all that shit. So I went out and bought a crazy expensive camera and got back into it. But then I had to focus on wildlife and um, again, just like finding something positive to focus my energy on instead of the negative stuff, and I really it really took off and I did really well with it.
Speaker 3:You know, um, people are really interested in buying my prints and stuff. So it was, it was just kind of nice and got me out of the house, got me in nature and I really wanted to offer that back to people and show people my experiences through photography, and so not a lot of people can get that close to wildlife and without, like, a good zoom lens and stuff, and so, yeah. So that's kind of what really got me into is just a lot of trauma, I guess. And yeah, and you know I like anything good, yeah, and you know I like anything good. You know it's, it's bound to. I don't know if I can give you a dose of trauma too. I guess that was yeah. So, yeah, that's how it got into nature and what it does for me, and it continues to do for me even after this experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so take us through that. Um that fateful day, man, how did that?
Speaker 3:how did? How did it start off? Like what set it off? I know it was, uh, you know, just a normal everyday hike, but how did it start? Rushed a wedding, because, after getting home from Poland, we discovered that I had a brain tumor and um, so I had to have like a pretty risky surgery to remove the tumor out of my head and, uh, so we just got married, just in case I died. She would get what she was, you know, entitled to and, um, my family wouldn't come after her for the money because, you know, she was in my will, obviously, but not as a married lady. So we got married and then I recovered. She had some health issues she had to recover from, so we didn't go on our honeymoon for two years after our wedding, and so we drove west.
Speaker 3:We love to travel, um, and so we stopped. We just basically wanted to travel, um, and so we stopped at. We just basically wanted to do a big circuit of national parks and go rock climbing and see friends and family that we haven't been able to see in a while, um, so we started off in the badlands. Essentially, it was like where I kind of like started the trip to my own head. Um, hung out there for a few days, went to Yellowstone, hung out there for a few days, went to Yellowstone, hung out there for a few days, got my grizzly bear fix. Um, and the one animal that I really was really on my list, that I hadn't seen yet, was called a great gray owl, and they're just kind of like. They're a really big owl species mostly found in like British Columbia, and then you know Western America, northwest America, very beautiful birds, pretty incredible Um, just really cool to look at. I've never seen one so I really wanted to.
Speaker 3:Um, we did a little bit of research on where to find them and um trip advisor advised us that you could find them on signal mountain, and so her and I and the dog went up for a walk up the road, which is a paved road, and the rules of the park are dogs are not allowed more than 100 feet off the road. So we walked up the road for about a quarter mile, maybe half a mile, and we actually ran into. There's a lot of people up there. I had my bear spray, she had her bear spray, I had my bear spray, she had her bear spray, and after like a mile or a quarter mile to half a mile, she decided she'd turn around with the dog, go back to the car and kind of plan out the rest of the night itinerary, cause we had a few hour drive South to go to a campground, so I continued, um, and I, at this point, since I didn't have the dog, I decided I was going to bound on and off the road, um, hitting, you know, wildlife, trails and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:So that's what I did and, um, after about an hour I found myself not quite on the summit of signal mountain, but up there on the mountain, and, um, I basically was just like all right, my alarm went, went off. I set an alarm and I was like all right. So I looked at the map on my gps and I was like cool, I can take the human trail and hit the road, and that'll probably be like an hour and a half walk out of here, or I can just beeline it down this mountain and be there in 40 minutes at most, and and so I decided to go that way and I just really was starting to get like a heavy, ominous feeling and I just didn't feel good about where I was and I definitely didn't feel alone anymore. And so, anyway, I'm just bushwhacking, I'm talking out loud, and this is something I even do here in Massachusetts, which we don't have any. None of the animals here are hunting us, so we got like animals that are going to kill us if they want, but they're not hunting us actively.
Speaker 3:Um, but I feel like I talk out loud when I'm out here most of the time if I'm not trying to sneak up on anything, and all of a sudden I just see this big, probably almost a two-year-old cub running away. It was a pretty big cub and I was like fuck, that's a grizzly cub. And the first instinct was just like boom. And I had a bino harness on and then underneath the harness I had my bear spray hanging horizontally on it, and so it was super accessible. I just boom, it's in my hand. I look down, pop the safety off. I look up and my I'm just kind of focused on the cub and all of a sudden, mom is 10 to 15 feet away from me on my 11, and I'm like fuck. And I just kind of was like no bear, no bear, and like tried to like stand my ground and get ready to spray her. And it's like I mean these things move so fast, and I mean, this all happened in a split second, you know.
Speaker 3:And uh, before I knew it, she was pouncing on me and so I decided to turn around and dive to the ground. She simultaneously tackles me and it just felt like I just got just slammed by a linebacker and, unbeknownst to me, she had already bit me. She ripped my shoulder apart and so I'm on the ground. I got my hands and arms like this, and I got the bear spray in my left hand and I didn't realize it was in my hand. And still, at this point, I just kind of lost all real functionality. Like I just tried to turn into like a stiff board and lay on the ground in the prone position, and so after that she stepped on my back and I was trying to be quiet. So it's.
Speaker 3:You mentioned the revenant and as soon as you said that, like I got goosebumps, man it that. Like you said, that portrayal of what it's like that's exactly like that really makes the viewer feel like you're in a baritech, like that. It's insane how accurate that was in that sense. And, um, so at this point she's tearing apart my legs, she's picking me up, slamming me, trying to flip me over, throw me around, um, and I'm trying to be quiet, as quiet as I can be, and um, she had.
Speaker 3:She had me in her mouth my right leg, I believe and it hurt really bad, like everything hurt, but like this one was just like astronomically worse, and I was like I had no idea what's going on. But I just let out like this blood curdling scream and she just drops me like a cat's like done with its toy, and steps on my back again, and then what I assume was she went for my head, but I thankfully still had that can of bear spray in my hand and so when she bit down, she actually got my not sure if you can see it clearly, but got this hand, and then she also got my wrists underneath my watch and simultaneously to that bite, she got the can also, which she punctured. The can and the contents exploded in her mouth. And then all of a sudden I just hear and I'm like it took a second to register, because when I first heard that pop, I just thought, okay, she's in your head, you're dead. This is it Hell of a way to go.
Speaker 3:And so she ended up, and then I felt like the warm sensation go down my back and everything, and that was the contents of the spray can, but I thought it was my blood and, um, so she ended up, uh, yeah, she took off running and then I, um, just did a pushup and I looked in the direction she was going and I was like all right, and I just took off running knobs of direction and I knew the direction that the cub ran is the direction she ran, and it was towards the road, um, so I knew I wasn't going to go that way, even though I knew that was, you know, the way to safety.
Speaker 3:So I ran further up, I went back up the Hill and then I ended up, um, getting to a point where I started to, like you know, start doing blood sweeps and figuring out where I'm leaking from and if I'm bleeding out of arteries or not, and, um, so at this point I ended up making a phone call to my wife, which I thought was going to be the last time I'd talked to her and, uh, she obviously like kind of snapped me out of that pity party I was throwing myself and she was like no, no, no, like you know what to do, you need to apply, no, make tourniquets, do whatever you gotta do to stop the bleed, you can get through this. And I was like, okay, sure, but I need to, you know, get somewhere safe first. I continue running up the hill like crawling over trees, crawling under trees, um, and then I get to this point where it kind of plateaus and it just really opens up. It's not a field or anything, but there's just. It's just not so thick anymore.
Speaker 3:And so I decided to do triage there. Um, at this point she already called 911 and started the, the, the rescue, um, and then I started to. I just took right. When I got up there I kind of caught my breath, took a video to say goodbye, just in case they find my body, and uh, and then I started doing tourniquets and um, so I cut up all my gear. I had sure you're familiar with the company's fear of the systems. Oh fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, shout out to those bad motherfuckers. Love their shit me too um so I had a.
Speaker 3:I had a fanny pack on from them and I it was funny because I I didn't cut it. I was able to put around my my leg and twist the fanny pack real tight and tie a knot in it. Um, so I don't know why, but I was trying to preserve, I didn't want to ruin it.
Speaker 2:I mean you're not gonna, you're not gonna, you're just not gonna ruin one of those fanny packs. I mean, let me tell you, shout out to those boys, because that shit I would have done the same thing. I'm like, wait a second, this cost 60 bucks.
Speaker 3:I'm not cutting this back it's like my wife, like don't worry about your deer, Just fucking cut it.
Speaker 1:And I'm like you don't understand it's spirit assistance.
Speaker 3:So I ended up it was funny too, cause, like, so I did that I used my, my camera strap, so I put three tourniquets on my legs. I really couldn't do much else. I couldn't tell what was going on in my shoulder. I knew it was rocks, though, um, and so, yeah, like, I basically kind of waited and waited and waited.
Speaker 3:I was on the phone with my wife, then I ended up calling dispatch, talking with them, um, and finally they're um, they get to. They're like hey, all right, we're gonna put a helicopter in here, let us know if you can hear it. And I'm like hear it, dude, I can fucking see it. And they're like you can see that. I'm like, yeah, and she's like all right, uh, she's a sweetheart I can't remember her name, but shout out to to you if you listen to this um. So she's like all right, we're gonna, um, give me some directions so we can fly it towards you.
Speaker 3:And I was like, yeah, just have them stop, turn to their three o'clock and fly. And they're gonna fly right over over me. And she's like, it's like she must've obviously said that to them. They fly right over me, they circle back around. This way, I tell them, tell her to tell him to stop again and do it again three o'clock and fly. And then they turn to their three o'clock and then they're like, oh, we see him. Um, so, as soon I was like, oh, they're like hovering over a field, kind of, and I was like, all right, I'm going to I don't know why, but I'm just going to crawl to them, fuck it and I start low crawling and as I started that like, I made it like six or eight feet and then I hear Shane, shane Burke and I like turned around as a ranger right there and that was like the first, like real relief I ever. And then it was like as soon as he, he comes over and of course the first fucking thing he does is cut that spirit assistant fanny pack off.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, no I was so pissed, but it's all good um please tell me the boys, the spirit of systems got you a new fanny pack man adam showed.
Speaker 3:Adam showed up full heartedly, shout out to Adam Um, yeah, good dude, good company. And since then I've definitely been a pro in their company. I love those guys, um. So yeah, they uh, um, he starts just working me. You know, like, call my clothes off, I got fucking Rangers everywhere, um, and then they just start triaging and, um, you know, packing every wound with fucking gauze. And, just like you know, first thing I said I was like no, obviously I had a conversation about the bear, but I was like no, my blood types, be positive or be negative, um, uh, you know, I got wounds all over the place. I'm pretty sure something's wrong with my arm because I can't move it very well, and blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, they just worked me. They packed me up and then picked me up with the helicopter and flew me to a nearby parking lot, threw me in the ambulance, and then I got to see my wife for the first time, which was really kind of funny, because I was super dismissive, because I was like just, I love you, hi, bye, I want to go to the fucking hospital. And then we sat in that parking lot for like another 45 minutes. Um, because basically the essentially when this happens and there are protective species, so when this happens, there's a few things that gotta kind of happen. Maybe not so soon. I wasn't considered urgent anymore. I was stable.
Speaker 3:They came in and started their investigation right away. He asked me a bunch of questions. He asked me what kind of bear do you think it was? How do you know? It was a grizzly bear. I just told him all these facts, you know facts, I knew, about what I saw and what.
Speaker 3:I know how it was behaving, stuff like that, what I was doing out there, um, and so they, you know, confiscated my phone, my camera, um, just to make sure that I wasn't provoking the bear. You know, yeah and um, actually too, there could be. You know, either I was just in the wrong place, wrong time and the bear is acting in natural capacity, or that was a bad bear, and or I was being an idiot and getting too close on purpose, which those things happen. So, um, this guy comes in and he say I want to take pictures of your wounds. I'm like, okay, and so you're like lifts up my shirt or whatever the fuck I had on me, I can't even remember. And he's like Ooh, we got to repack this and I'm just like kidding me. And so they pull all the guys out, redo everything.
Speaker 2:There's like one of the guys that was over 40 feet of guys that they put in me um, that's not fun, that's not fun.
Speaker 3:So after that they took me to the hospital and then we get into, you know, the er. And then, even then they couldn't put me in for surgery because I just had lunch prior to going out there. So I had to wait for a little while. Um, and I got to make some phone calls and just let people know what happened. And, um, yeah, so that was that. I went in for surgery. I got 62 staples, some internal stitches, um, they didn't even x-ray my shoulder so I didn't know it was broken.
Speaker 3:Uh, I got released the next day and then, um, we hung out in town for a couple of days waiting to get my phone and camera back while they conducted their investigation. And then, and we drove home and it's like about two weeks to get home, cause we, we, you know, we stopped and stayed with friends. We got to see the people we wanted to see originally, obviously in a much different light, and we just took our time getting home. But that was pretty crazy, that was pretty fast-paced, but that's the gist of it. From where the attack happened to where they found me was about a 200-yard dash uphill. Not to fluff my ego, but when I recently met one of the uh, one of the rangers, um, her and I got pretty close. Her name's isabel and she's really badass. She's a navy vet, um, but we're talking. She's like you're a badass motherfucker dude. Just like I had to walk, hike up what you ran after getting balled by that bear and I could barely do what you did, like shit, all right here is the greatest motivator.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, man, um yeah. So it was uh pretty pretty crazy experience, yeah say the least you're balled by a grizzly bear.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir, dude, what was recovery like for that?
Speaker 3:oh man, it's ongoing, but um, so it let's see physically. Uh, I got back two weeks after the attack um, obviously that's when when I saw on the internet that a lot of false accusations were going around. So I was like, fuck it, I'm going to clear my name and just tell my story. Oh yeah, it was pretty grim. For a while I was getting like death threats and fucking it's wild man, what, what kind of that bear was unarmed.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, A lot of just like. I was out there harassing the bear. Essentially is what a lot of people were concocting and it was just all bullshit.
Speaker 2:I know better than to poke the bear, but yeah, it's like Just the audacity of somebody thinking that you're like out there in the middle of the night stalking bears.
Speaker 3:It's pretty crazy. So the drive home, you know, was pretty rough. Got home, I went to the VA to have the stables removed and the PA was like I was like, oh, okay, like thanks for everything and I'll see you around. And she's like, no, no, no, you're everything and I'll see you around. And she's like, no, no, no, you're going to ortho, cause at this point I could lift my arm up to here. So I was like, uh, whatever, but I had this big bulge sticking out of my shoulder and I'm a knucklehead, I ignore my body all the time. No, no, you're going to ortho right now. I already scheduled it. They're waiting for you.
Speaker 3:I'm like, okay, so I go there and I'm getting the first x-rays done and I like poke my head out and there's just like this tiny little like three inch by four inch screen and I just see this shattered shoulder and I was like, well, that's broken. And the tech was like I can't tell you whether it is or not and I'm like, oh, no, that's fucking broken, like that's rough and um, so, yeah, like the my surgeon. So there's a couple of orthosurgeons there and the first guy that looked at me was actually um, a call for um medic or doctor or something in the Marine Corps. And um, not the Marine Corps. And um, not the Marine Corps. He was, yeah, he was in the Army, actually I think Can't remember, but either way, um, so he, you know, we hit it off. He liked me, we're talking blah, blah, blah. He like shows me all the images. He's like this is pretty crazy. I've never seen anything like this. And um, so then they get me with this guy. He wanted to schedule my shoulder surgery for the next day out and I was like whoa, I'm going on the Meat Eater podcast. I can't. I got to go on the podcast first and he's like all right, it can wait a little longer, he's like, but it's already healing, just so you know. I was like all right. So we went on the Meat Eater podcast.
Speaker 3:We came home, had the surgery and it was actually way worse than he actually thought from the images. So, um, what broke was my chromium process. She snapped that like right in half and there's a ton of connective tissue that connects to that. All of that was separated. Um, my clavicle dropped like an inch and a half, and so he had to like do all this voodoo in there and lift that back up and get it like back into place with fishing string essentially, and put a big old plate in there and so that sucked.
Speaker 3:That recovery was rough. It was pretty crazy because we ended up, at just a couple of days after the surgery, ended up at a really good friend's wedding and it was a real mind fuck because I was just like Holy shit, like I almost died two weeks ago, met my friend's wedding right now and all these people would be weeping over my grave if things had gone any different, you know, and it was very, very hard to be present. Um, but I was very, very grateful and very happy to be there. Um, so we did physical therapy for a while. Um, the homies that softly hooked it up with, uh, their program and I've been lifting every like quite a bit now, um, I'm on this program and I feel amazing, uh, physically.
Speaker 3:So the uh, the mental side of recovery is pretty tough. I wasn't sleeping. I was staying up until six, 7am and then finally passing out. I ended up getting on some psych meds through a first time in my life and just navigating that. The nightmares have pretty much stopped. At first it was just constantly not even like not even just of bears and shit, it's just it was like I just anything man, I just couldn't sleep, it was wild. So we're, you know, we just passed a year. So we're at like 13 months now, almost you know we just passed a year. So we're at like 13 months now, almost 13 months since this happened. And um, yeah, I just, you know, I bounced back, I've been through a lot and, um, I'm just happy to be here and continuing to be alive and try to thrive the best I can.
Speaker 2:So yeah, man, to bounce back from that, that takes a lot of guts, dude. That's um talked about the nightmares. That's a. That's something we don't often don't think about or talk about. When somebody overcomes something really traumatic, whether it's, you know, an engagement down south, something happened in in combat, we don't talk about all the psychological implications of facing a life or death situation like that's really difficult, but that's the the, the unseen battle, because I'm sure just just being here and holding space with you while you know the camera shut down, the everything that happens behind the scenes, like you have a good, like temperament about you. You're, you're, you're upbeat, but you can see that you've dealt with some shit in your life, you've overcome some things. But how do you put it all together? How do you? What are some of the things that kept you in the fight, so to speak?
Speaker 3:Um, honestly, man, like as weird as it sounds, so to speak. Um, honestly, man, like as weird as it sounds, like, uh, when I was after I, when I was getting mauled, I literally just thought about my dog and I thought about how happy she is to see me when I come home every day and I just knew like I could be taken that away from her and that really like kind of kept me in the fight. Um, knowing that my family has already been through so much, like I said, you know, um, I lost my brother, already been through so much, like I said, you know, um, I lost my brother. He was I was, he was 27 when he died. He took my dad with him. You know, my dad never recovered from that. My dad died at 58. My mom died at 56. Like, my family has just been through a fuck ton and I didn't want to be a reason to continue to put them through shit. Um, and then so many people fought for me that day. You know like a lot of people put a lot of effort into making sure that I can sit here with you today and have this conversation, and so that has resonated with me quite a bit.
Speaker 3:Um, first responders don't get enough credit for what they do, um, and I mean, it's hard because a lot of them are privatized, you know, and so it's it's just a company to some.
Speaker 3:You know a lot of the work they do, um, so, yeah, I think those are the main main things you know and like um, yeah, and, and you know since then, like I've, you know it's, it's like this, like nothing's linear in life and emotional and mental capacities, and I, um, yeah, I've been in therapy for six or seven years now.
Speaker 3:Um, I unfortunately lost my therapist at Doge in the VA so I just got a new one, but we literally only had two sessions so far. And you know we're unpacking a lot and I think one of the things I unfortunately do is I got like this cabinet brain where I just kind of compartmentalized pretty crazily. I got like this cabinet brain where I just kind of compartmentalized pretty crazily, and so I know through experience that's good in the moment but not good for longevity. So I've really been working hard to keep it unpacked and not process it, um, but I definitely did stuff it away cause I had to. I had to just kind of get through every day, um, for a while. So, uh, there's a lot still packed away, unfortunately, but we're working on it and hopefully I'll get there one day.
Speaker 2:Um, but yeah, that's pretty much what keeps me going Everything in time, man, we tend to think that everybody heals in one one strict, regimented way. But everybody has their, their own path to follow. Everybody has their way and slowly getting through it works, dude. Just being present and staying the course, that's the one thing that everybody wishes it was fast, and sometimes it's not fast. Sometimes progress takes years. Sometimes progress for some people can take a few weeks and they can continue moving forward and, you know, get to a pace where they're. They're sprinting. But some of us have to take that slow, methodical approach. And I want to ask you, man, like and and it's all about your comfort level I know in your, your bio, you put atheist in any moment in the attack. In any moment in that process did you reach out and say like fuck, like hey, whatever great grand being is out there, get me through this fucking thing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know I could. You can definitely attribute, can definitely attribute, um, you know, there's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole, um, and are there in a?
Speaker 3:bear attack uh, you know, I, I'm probably, I probably talked to god a little bit. I'm not, you know, I was just nothing overly um, I, I mostly was just like I kind of like just begged my brother and my dad, it's like if they're still with me to help me get through this and I'll figure out a way to make it worthwhile. I wasn't ready to go to whatever realm they now exist in. You know, um, yeah, I, I really put. I really put I've been atheist most of my life. I really had to put that on my bio because I just it's not that I get offended, but it's like I don't care if someone says god bless you or I'll pray for you. I love that, like absolutely all for that. That for me, that's just good, thank you.
Speaker 3:But it's like the hostile religious people that just I just couldn't do it. I was getting hammered by people like just aggressive about religion and it's, you know, um, I find it hard to uh deal with that and um, so to me, like, when someone gets like aggressively religious and tries to project that onto you, that's the same as somebody walking around with like a fuck Jesus shirt on or something like that, Something crazy. You know the thing that they get offended by. You know, sorry, Like, but it's like you know, I, uh, I, I never, I, uh, I, I never, I, I love you know my, my meme is super, super Catholic, Um, and I was raised Catholic and, uh, you know I, if there's a, you know if there's a God out there, man, cool, Like, no, I've I've never done anything too bad in my life that I think I'm going to hell, but I don't know, man, I my life that I think I'm going to hell but I don't know man, I'm just trying to.
Speaker 3:I'm just trying to live. Uh, I, I just personally don't need to sit around and think that someone up there is pulling my strings to make me be a better person. I just try to be a better person and I'm human. I make mistakes all the time, man, all the fucking time. So, um, yeah, it's that's why I projected that so hard in my bio, Cause I was just getting like crazy, crazy ambush messages of just like religion and you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:And accusations of bear, bear stalking. I think it's a, it's a beautiful sentiment to to have a powerful belief that you weren't alone in that wood, in the woods that day, Like you, you, you you had a brother, a father, people out there looking out for you. Um, you know, same can be said for anybody that's had that life or death moment in in the theater, whether it's Iraq or Afghanistan, and they felt sort of a connection to either a fallen comrade or somebody that was close to them and they felt like fuck, like I don't know how and I don't know why, but I feel like you're right there with me, man, I feel like you're watching over me, and that's something that a lot of us have experienced in life. Like, oh shit, like I didn't get through this on my own accord. Something guided me, something nudged me the right way, and I like to think that, whatever it is, you know I have my own faith. I won't push that out there, I won't be one of those guys to you.
Speaker 2:But yeah, man, like there's a reason we're here and I'm so glad you're here too, man, and I think that your soldiers, I think the people you're around, I think all of them will have that same sentiment that you know you're here for a reason. Man, nobody escapes something like that for just being here.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you what man. Something's been after me for a few years now and I've escaped it a few times. Uh, I don't know, I will say I've. I've had some really like spiritual things happen to me, especially with my brother. It's been a while, but after he died, a little after he died, I had a dream and it was so vivid and I remember waking up from it just for the first time since he died, like being happy, that I spent this dream with him. What was crazy about that dream was after you know, when I was kind of coming back to reality and waking up, he said the. He said cancer three times and my dad died of cancer six years later and that was really crazy. Um and uh, yeah, so that was always a crazy experience for me. Um, so yeah, it's kind of crazy.
Speaker 2:That is crazy, that is crazy. And are you, are you cancer free now with?
Speaker 3:uh, you're scared now with, uh, your scare. Yeah, so actually my tumor was benign, um, but then, ironically, like I literally was getting, um, uh, I was actually getting treated at the va for a possible skin cancer when the bear attack happened, um, so that turned out to be benign as well, thankfully. But, uh, they ripped out this big scar right here. They cut up a good chunk of me and that was really scary Cause I'm like I'm showing up like in a cast, like covered in scars, and the dermatologist is like what happened to you? And I was like just Google my name.
Speaker 2:Google me guy. Sort of a big deal in the bear world.
Speaker 3:It of a big deal in the bear world. This dude was like what the fuck? It was so funny oh yeah, oh, man.
Speaker 2:So what's next for you, man? Uh, have you thought about writing a book about the, uh, the incident?
Speaker 3:Um, I am very, uh aware of my capabilities and, uh, definitely not a writer. Of my capabilities and, uh, definitely not a writer. Um, I can write like short stuff, but, um, no, I don't know. I want to do something cool and just I don't know, like for other people. Eventually it's just right now. I just gotta kind of keep my head down. Um, I work for the department of defense. Um, so I, through this, like they burned all my sick leave. I owe them over 100 hours of sick leave. Still, I barely accrue any fucking leave at all. So I really like can't just go do whatever I want right now, because what's the next emergency, you know? So I'm trying to like accrue as much leave as I can. Um, so, yeah, I don't know what's next. Man, I really wish I had a good, good answer for that. I just kind of in in in limbo right now and, uh, just trying to make it through the week, hey, and that's okay, man, you don't have to have a long-term plan.
Speaker 2:You know, get through what you're going through today, man, yeah, yeah, in time everything will be clear. But you know, there's um, there's a power to sharing your story, man, and I'm grateful for you coming on here and sharing it with us. Um, because, while the the attractive eye candy is, you live through something. I think what we stumbled upon earlier in our discussion is resilience facing trial and trial and trial and dealing with things like suicide. You know, both of us have talked about it today. If you're out there and you're listening and you're struggling, here are some resources, right here. Here's a phone number. Or, even better yet, connect with your LGOP it's a term that we use lovingly in the airborne world a little group of paratroopers.
Speaker 2:Don't fight this on your own. You're not alone. And if you're a peer-to-peer supporter, if you're somebody that has somebody that they care about, that is in the throes of an addiction to alcohol or drugs and you're frustrated, they won't get help. And you've run out of resources and you've run out of patience. It's okay. It's okay.
Speaker 2:We can't make somebody get healthy. We can't make somebody put the alcohol down or put the drugs down. You can only love the person through their addiction. Love them through it. It's hard. Setting boundaries is important, but understand that they have a choice. They have to make that choice and I know it sucks, trust me, I know intimately how bad it sucks to want somebody to get better. Have faith, trust that hopefully they know intimately how bad it sucks to want somebody to get better. Have faith, trust that hopefully they'll find the right answer and if they don't, it's going to be all right. It's not your fault and they have a choice. Shane, thank you so much for being here today. Man, thank you for sharing your wisdom, your story and for staying with us, even through camera issues. If people want to follow along with your journey and check you out, where can they go?
Speaker 3:Uh, I'm a I'm a big uh Instagram guy, so, um, my Instagram handle is N zero beef stew, number four, you and uh, so no beef stew for you. Um, and that's definitely. I'm very responsive on there. So, if you do follow me and you know if you need me as a resource, I'm happy to talk with you. Um, just hit me up and I'm happy to to be there, um, for anybody honestly.
Speaker 2:Heck, yeah, there you go, folks. Go ahead and episode. Check out the episode description right now. Look at those links. Go ahead and click them and do me a favor. Please like, share and follow. Go to YouTube, go to Spotify, go to Apple.
Speaker 2:Leave us a comment, give us a rating. Five stars would be greatly appreciated. But if you want to leave us a one-star review, like Darren Arvnarski, and be a fucking dickhead, go ahead and do that. I won't appreciate, appreciate it. But you know I guess that's your choice. But no, seriously, give us a follow, give us a like, give us a share, give us a five-star review. Write some stuff in there in the comments section.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Denny's fucking awesome. Shane's a fucking rad bear fighter. And if you're the bear that did this to Shane, let me tell you something right now. You, son of a bitch, we're coming for you. Find you. I know where you live. Thank you all for tuning in. We'll see you all next time. Until then, take care. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom forward, slash SecHop podcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram X or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhawkcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together.
Speaker 1:If you're still listening the episode's over.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week.
