Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
From Terminal CWO to Finding Purpose: Sam Shoemate's Journey
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In this powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with military advocate and veteran Sam Shoemate to dive deep into the evolution of veteran advocacy, the urgent need for mental health support, and the complexities of military culture in the age of social media.
Together, they explore what it means to speak truth to power—discussing the challenges service members face, the psychological toll of whistleblowing, and the role of humor and friendship in overcoming adversity. Sam shares actionable insights on building community, fostering accountability within the ranks, and advocating for positive change while still supporting the troops.
If you're passionate about military mental health, leadership accountability, and making a difference through storytelling, this episode is for you.
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Chapters
00:00 From Windsor to the Military: A Journey of Friendship
02:29 The Power of Advocacy in the Military Community
05:25 Navigating the Challenges of Military Culture
08:31 Mental Health and the Weight of Advocacy
11:24 The Evolution of Military Advocacy and Journalism
14:30 The Impact of Social Media on Military Conversations
17:17 Whistleblowing and Accountability in the Military
20:39 Supporting Troops vs. Critiquing Leadership
23:22 Empowering Citizens to Advocate for Change
26:30 The Importance of Community and Connection
29:27 Understanding the Reality of Military Life
32:17 The Fight Against Mental Health Stigmas
35:33 Finding Hope and Resilience in Struggles
38:22 The Role of Humor in Coping with Adversity
41:30 The Importance of Shared Experiences
44:26 Looking Ahead: Future of Advocacy and Community Engagement
Instagram: @securityhalt
Tik Tok: @security.halt.pod
LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
Follow Sam, Our Country our Choice, and Terminal CWO on Social media!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ococreports
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terminalcwo/
X: https://x.com/samosaur?lang=en
Website: https://www.ourcountryourchoice.com/
Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go the only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent. It's hosted by me, Danny Caballero, it's DC. It's hosted by me, Danny Caballero, Sam Shoemate. Welcome to Security On Podcast. Thank you, sir man it is a pleasure to have you, man. We go way back, dude.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir, look at us. Look at us, two boys from.
Speaker 1:Windsor, colorado. Who'd have thought Certainly not me. Holy shit man, our paths. Oh man. Who would have thought Certainly not me. Holy shit man, our paths. Oh man, god yeah.
Speaker 2:It's an interesting story, man.
Speaker 1:It is man. Let's explore that. Shall we the year? Yeah, 1999.
Speaker 2:Windsor, alaska. Oh yeah, okay, we're going way back. Let's do it, dude. Oh man, dude, the first time I saw you after, after high school and we had joined um, you know you were coming out of national guard. I was coming back on to active duty. We're both coming on to active duty. I saw you at the hotel, uh, at the, the chow line, you know the, the big buffet they had there in, and uh, I just heard shoemate and I was like like the fuck.
Speaker 1:That was a trip, oh man, dude. And then, the beautiful thing, our careers, like intertwined again. Then we found ourselves at seventh group 2011. Bro, same thing? Yeah, I'm literally lifting.
Speaker 2:I remember I was at the cable fly machine and I'm, you know, I'm getting my, getting my workout in and I hear shoemake, yeah, what, yeah, there's Denny green gray.
Speaker 1:Dude, yeah. And then then, years later again, yo, you're a warrant officer. And then, just like a few years after that, I'm a warrant officer too. Yeah, man, what a ride, dude. It's been awesome, it's been great seeing you in all aspects of your life, uh. And then, uh, cw, terminal, cwo, dude, yeah, holy shit, the, the. The weird thing about our veteran space, our advocacy space, is the way that we rally around supporting each other, and it's it. I had no idea, no idea of the impact these pages would have on our, our military culture. I mean, you're what? You were one of the first pages that I saw, and before I even knew who it was, I was like, oh fuck, dude, like us army, what the fuck moments we're doing our things. There's, uh, what the fuck was his name? Uh, the batman dude.
Speaker 2:Um, oh, tradoc batman, tradoc batman yeah yeah, and then terminal cwo and the shit you guys were posting, calling people out, putting real issues out, there I was like wow, like there are people that are actually trying to hold people accountable, holy shit, yeah, yeah for sure, I remember when I told you when I, when I, I, I reached out to you because you had messaged me about, it was a, it was one of the drill sergeants at benning and, uh, they, this had a completely effed up investigation. In fact, when the commanding general reached out about it, he admitted that it was an effed up investigation. But they, they had to redo everything and and I remember you know you, you, I knew who you were. Obviously you know who I was because I was anonymous at the time and I was like denny, it's me, sam, what what yeah you're making memes and advocacy yeah, man that was the.
Speaker 1:That was a funny period, man, because that was the first time that I saw like, oh shit, like it can be a force for good. Not only do I, not only can I, you know, do my job here and help uphold the fucking standards and and do what a good leader supposed to do, but I can have an impact through something as simple as doing fucking memes. Yeah, yeah, count me in, I'm in this bitch Dude.
Speaker 2:I was. I was so upset because there was there was no way to cut through what was happening in the military, and I still believe it is the greatest force for good All these pages that have exploded since and are just calling stuff out. There was no way to cut through what was happening because my initial few stories were based on, like senior division level PAOs lying to spouses on social media, um, covering up for command. I mean going, going out of their way to, to, to be mocking. They were mocking and condescending and and basically talking down to to these uh, you know these groups that were on social media and I knew better.
Speaker 2:I not only did I have evidence, but I just know how the military works and I was like dude, this is disgusting. Man, you got an oh five here who is who is just, uh, being an absolute dick and lying about the, the conditions and this stuff that's taking place with these people's husbands. They know he's lying and they can't do anything about it because he holds, he owns the conversation, and so it was like dude, I'm going to own this conversation, not yours anymore, bud.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah, some of those earlier, uh, early days of exposing people like um, and we can edit this out enough of uh, do you remember? Uh, oh, mike, mike, uh, the the PAO for fucking was, oh, yeah, yeah, like that, that guy was a fucking weasel. That dude, wow, didn't you, uh, didn't you run into him, yeah mic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what a weird fucking human being like. I've met people that you know pretty, pretty famous little my celebrities, that down-to-earth people, great people like this dude not a celebrity, but he held himself in that same stature, like when you approached him he felt like the grossest lizard person you could ever imagine and it was just like and had no idea that who I was, because you know, at the time I was helping with the meme support on terminal CWO but I wasn't like out there in the in the world saying anything like putting my face out there. Sure Right, I did the uh, the Hefe shit and uh, the dude was so fucking weird about everything that he's doing with vet TV, like putting like and I was out there for a security haul and he's like you know I could take your podcast and make it amazing so easily. It was almost like that the the Trump meme was like I take whatever you're doing, I'll just make it better. It's like dude, like what the fuck man? Like I'm like trying to get started as a podcaster and you're you're like he like looking at my page, what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, like I could have, I could network with so many people, get so many people on your show and I'm like that's kind of weird dude. Like I'm not, like I'm not trying to talk you up or have sex with you, but this dude was just like just all about him, him, him, and how great he was and everything he could do, and I was just like fuck dude. Like a, you're a fucking boner. B like fucking sam was right about everything, and it's like seeing people like that get such like status in the military and they try to use it on the outside. Yeah, and that dude's bounced around from fucking so many different companies. So he was on, he worked with vet tv, he worked for blizzard at a time. Like, yeah, he's a, he's a fucking weirdo.
Speaker 2:I dude the, the amount of stuff that people told me that there is no way I would ever post in a million years unless he came after me personally. And then, um, if, if, he wanted to resume that fight, but the things that people told me, I, I couldn't even begin to tell you, yeah, on here, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put it out. Uh, going all the way back to days as a first sergeant in korea and everything else, you know people, I obviously made a lot of enemies, um, and I wasn't the only one on twitter. All yeah, I will friends on Twitter with some of his stuff.
Speaker 1:Set that motherfucker on fire and then let Sam deal with it.
Speaker 2:Dude, I had to answer for the post the Army Times posted for that one and they were like you think that the COVID-19 vaccine kills children? And I was like, well, first of all that was a joke and now it's actually not a joke, but then, second of all, I didn't post that and like I'm answering for it, yeah, he was he was just on his on his troll kick, just having fun.
Speaker 2:And now I was yeah, I wasn't going to stop him, but yeah, there was. There was plenty of uh, he, he had fun with folks and yeah, but I made lots of friends not friends doing that stuff over there, because back then Mill Twitter was just a cesspool of leftist garbage, bro, and they were coming after me hard, obviously, and I honestly, I didn't care about that so much as I I had to. I had to step back in the middle of all that and I said, what am I doing? Like I am focused on writing the ship and helping service members, and this is not that I got. I got trapped in the cycle of fighting and in this nonsense back and forth. That's not what I want to do. I don't want to fight with you, you weirdos I watched that happen in real time.
Speaker 1:Man like that was, I was going through my own mental health shit and then realizing that fuck this ain't healthy for me. No, because you look at the inbox, if you're, if you had any moment in time like you're admin for, or helping out, internal cwo, that inbox is just like fuck man, just I need a break.
Speaker 2:I'm I'm not gonna make it that's why I reached out to you and pb and other folks, because I was even after a year of doing that work before stuff really kicked off. I was just like I can't keep doing this man man, the mental weight of reading these posts, thousands of messages over the years from people that are just like this is happening and this is happening, and all hours Fuck man, all fucking hours, dude.
Speaker 1:And if it's not a cry for help, it was a fuck you piece of shit for help. It was a fuck you piece of shit. This you post a meme thinking it's gonna be fun. Like you're a fucking horrible human being.
Speaker 2:I hope you die of fucking aids and fuck your mother too like I remember we called it, um, we called it uh, tuna gate, uh, the the tuna gate conspiracy for the longest time, because I just a stupid meme I posted about women's thinking in the field.
Speaker 2:I don't even remember what it was. It was so dumb. But Holy shit, dude, that lit up the pages and people were like, yeah, this guy's a, this guy's an asshole, cause he's, yeah, two in a gate. Good times, those were fun dates. Oh, they were fun days and that was like you know, you're just you're trying to mix in and out of having fun and goofing off the boys and in post and dark humor and in whatever else, and then and then do serious stuff, um, and you blur the lines sometimes too much and uh, yeah, all of it, all of it made me really tired.
Speaker 1:And then, obviously, the events of the last year made me really tired bro dude, the thing that always stuck out to me is like you have real journalistic bones about you. You have a real passion for getting down to the stories, figuring shit out and putting the truth out there. And it it was like how do you, how do you get rid of the bullshit, how do you keep the positivity and how do you just allow Sam to cultivate that journalistic drive? How do we get out of this bullshit, how do we allow Sam to thrive in what he's really good at, which is getting to the bottom of a fucking story? And I think it goes perfectly to what you did in the military.
Speaker 1:I think that that's always been a part of who you are. It's no, no nonsense, no bullshit. I want to dive into this, but it you're right, man, so much of your energy was sapped having to deal with whether it's a bullshit, fucking story. Something gets blown out way out of proportion, then you don't have any time to fall in love with the craft and then they come after you. Oh yeah, what the fuck was that like? I was there for some of it, trying to figure out how we can help, but there's nothing like the lived experience of you explaining that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and this is the thing explaining that. Yeah, you know. And and this is the thing, Um, I, I had decided not to try to hide my identity long before they found out who I was. I, I remember back when we were trying to do an app and get terminal X going and, uh, you know, iOS required that you either have your name attached to it or you had your company attached to it. So I just, I didn't even create an LLC, I didn't want to go through all the effort of everything I just sent off for a standard EIN business name, whatever terminal CWO, and, and I put my name out there. I could have, I could have easily. I thought about it and I was like, how do I try to cover myself? How do I do this? And at that point I said I don't care, I don't care. This was long before I was doxxed or anything else. Um, so it was. It had been sitting out in the domain and I joked about this on podcasts all the time. I would always say, like it's really not hard to figure out who I am, Like it's really not hard.
Speaker 2:So when it did happen and mill, Twitter came after me and they were having these, these investigations. Mind you, one of the individuals who was part of that was my former commander who literally sent PII. He sent my OERs and uh private correspondence to this group and I'm like, dude, I, I thought about, I thought about filing a complaint against him. I was like no, I don't care, I honestly don't care, You're a fag, Whatever. But yeah, so they were so proud of themselves. They're like we got him, we got Terminal CWO and I was like you guys are gay, dude, I've been out there for so long.
Speaker 1:Dude, I have to highlight when they got the wrong Sam Shoemate for a while.
Speaker 2:Dude, they went after this major because I was renting the house from him and we just clowned him for it. We started writing posts about poor Major Jose. Oh, that was perfect, bro, because you were Jefe and he was Jose and they were like we got guys, we got him we got him the ringleader he was, he was he's uh. You know, uh, what was he? He was an io or something.
Speaker 2:He was uh yeah, yeah, information officer or something, anyways so close yeah, so they, they were, they, they had just had it and we, just we, we started clowning on them for it. We're like poor Jose, you know, like what's he going to do? And and then Mike was jumping in comments and he was like, well, he, he dug his own grave. And I was like God, this guy's so dumb. Um, but you know, so, through the course of that, uh, there was like a seven or eighth month investigation that they did and, uh, I just, you know, I didn't do anything.
Speaker 2:The investigating officer came in and I said, talked to my lawyer and he said, okay, sign the paperwork. Boom, I didn't talk to anybody else after that. So I went and sat down with my commander for my GOMAR reading. So I went and sat down with my commander for my gomar reading. Um, this was right before I was set to retire. So, keep in mind, I had started terminal leave in May May of 2023, excuse me, um, and I he calls me in commander super cool dude former. You know he was a mustang former enlisted dude, just dude's cool shit. Uh, in fact, we still talk this day. Every once in a while he'll reach out and he'll be like dude, that was, that was good shit, man like send me a, send me something.
Speaker 2:He's like dude you're killing it, yeah, um, but you know he reads my gomar to me from, uh, you know, the commanding general of three corps and and it was, it was, it was the same thing. They couldn't. They couldn't establish that it was me, but a preponderance of evidence that I was associated with the account or whatever. And so you know conduct on becoming an officer and blah, blah, blah. And so I said okay, and then I had somebody that got me the investigation because I said I want to know, I want to know who this Jose guy is. I still didn't know who major Jose was. I didn't know. I was like who, who is this guy? Whose life did I ruin? And so.
Speaker 2:I asked around and somebody got me the unredacted investigation, the full 15, six, unredacted all the evidence, and I dude, dude, dude, dude. This had all of the receipts of the deputy commanding general of trade off, uh, having basically orchestrated this illegal investigation before it became an official investigation. So let me, let me clarify this I am not under trade off. Trade TRADOC has no command authority over me whatsoever and she was reaching out on a fit with official, uh, an official email, orchestrating you know different officers doing this, saying she was going to reach out to her friend at you know, the chief of CID, the chief of CI. They're trying to label me as an insider threat. They were trying to have my ass thrown in jail for being a foreign intelligence threat dude. They were going for blood and so she is. She's doing all this stuff in the background and somebody I don't know who for sure, but I have a good guess Somebody the guy who submitted the complaint in the first place took all of that, those screenshots and that evidence and submitted it to IG along with complaint. You submitted criminal actions by the deputy commanding general of TRADOC along with your complaint against me. Wow, you guys are some freaking masters at your craft. And so, um, I see this and I'm looking at this in real time and I was like, get it over to Breitbart. They published this. They Christine and Wong writes this article up August 1st, the day of my retirement. She publishes this article. It blows up and then three, core Jag shows up to my unit and my commander's like bro legal from core was just here. They had no idea that you you retired, fuck. They conducted an eight month investigation and didn't know that I had a retirement packet in. And so you had people that were like, oh, he got kicked out of the army, the army kicked him out. And you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm like no, they didn't. Like, oh, he got kicked out of the army, the army kicked him out. And you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm like no, they didn't.
Speaker 2:I submitted a retirement packet a year before this, before any of this kicked off, I submitted a retirement packet. It was approved. I turned in my declination of rank statement because I'd been selected for CW three. I, you know, you can't. You can't retire if you're, if, if you're getting promoted. So I had to decline the rank. Um went through the whole process. Nobody stopped me and it was dude keep in mind when I'm going through the retirement process and I'm going through, you know, out processing and all that. I'm just waiting.
Speaker 2:I'm just waiting, Like when that phone call like oh, you've been, you've been locked down, you're not going anywhere and I'm just. Nothing happened, so I just kind of. And so when that article comes out, they were floored, they were like he was retiring and I was like dude, if this is not the most Army shit ever. You conduct an eight-month investigation. You don't even know the subject of your investigation is retiring Bro, huge fumble. I don't know what to say to that. I mean, that's why we exist.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I'm sorry, we need to come back.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, oh so dude, when people tell me there's no way that you know it would, we would have missed it at this. Or there's no way the army would have would have looked over something like this. There's no way the army would have would have looked over something like this. There's no way they wouldn't have caught this. Or they're talking about their situation and they just think that some, some master up in the sky is, you know, holding it all together with super glue.
Speaker 2:I'm like these people are morons, dog. Yeah, they're morons and they just happen to exist in a very powerful construct that's been created around them. But but they're just human beings, so don't get overly impressed when they drop the ball on your pay or they can't they can't get you food in the field or, you know, you're living in shithole barracks because somebody just doesn't care and doesn't doesn't want to be a good leader Like dog. That's not crazy. That is just. That is the garbage that we have in the military oftentimes, and that's who I want to advocate for. That's who I have been advocating for, these dudes who you know what. You raised your right hand to serve your country and you should be afforded the best we can give you. I'm not talking about the Taj Mahal? Dude, I'm not talking about anything. Four brick walls and a cot is all you're afforded, that's good and no black mold.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it doesn't have black mold crawling over every inch of the room and in your ducts and poisoning you. Yeah, looks like the TV's just went off behind me.
Speaker 1:That's good stuff. He's actually the secret bunker in Syria. He's a fucking sleeper cell, got him. It's so fucking true. Man. We, as young service members, we tend to think like, oh my God, these people are just omnipotent, all-powerful, all-knowing, um, um, just omnipotent, all powerful, all knowing. You get older, you become mid-level managers and you realize like, oh, you didn't pay that fucking contract out. Oh, you didn't set this up. Oh, you're just really incompetent. Oh shit, the reason things work smoothly was the guy before you was smart, actually cared, was passionate. You're just a piece of shit and that's why jimmy can't eat today. Got it, got it, got it, got it. That's it.
Speaker 1:Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool yeah, that's it no, it's so bizarre that we're we're now having to offload more, more of the responsibility and whistleblowing to guys that are no longer in service or it's, in some cases, civilians have never served. That's the thing that blows my mind. There's some powerful advocates out there that never served and it's as it can be as simple as food allocation or as complex as the TBI impact of TBI and traumatic brain injury, blast wave exposure that we're dealing with now. Impact of TBI and traumatic brain injury, blast wave exposure that we're dealing with now. It's not just small issues, it's not just big issues, it's all of it, man, and it blows my mind that we can't have leadership that says you know what the buck stops here, we're going to fucking take care of our dudes, and that's why terminal CWO is still fucking needed. That's why the mission needs to continue and evolve. And how do you see the mission evolving now, man?
Speaker 2:The mission is evolving, literally with where I'm working right now, and you know, I work for an organization called Our Country, our Choice, and I won't I won't even begin to tell you that it's the most stable environment. We're working through some things, but I newly came on here and the reason why I I? I originally told my boss, no, I wasn't interested, I was doing some other stuff. I was involved with remnant ministries, with doc chambers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, shout out to doc.
Speaker 2:Yes, doc, big things in his future, by the way, I'll tell you off camera. But, um, so you know I was. I was involved with doing some pretty heavy stuff there counter human trafficking, child rescue, different avenues involving that and I did not want to come over here. And the reason I decided to was because my boss he gave me a pitch on what his goal was. But basically he is doing and wants to do what I had dreamed of before and what I always wanted to do was turn everybody into whistleblowers. I wanted to teach everybody how to be a terminal CWO or do their own thing.
Speaker 2:How do you, how do you report honestly and effectively, so so the information is received? How do you build your? How do you build your base? How do you do you know all these different things to be effective so that you can be? You can be somebody in the fight who is, who is helping service members, shining a light on corruption in in your neck of the woods, and that's that's what we're doing here. So we are, we're establishing, you know, several different platforms where our goal is to build this out across the country and turn everybody into citizen journalists and start reporting on what's going on in their town.
Speaker 2:Start talking about ethical violations and criminal conduct and everything else. Talk about the new. You know your local sports too. Talk about everything. Talk about the pothole at the end of your road that hasn't been fixed in two years, but start focusing on your local town where things are happening. Stop focusing on DC. Dc is gone. We can't control DC. There are billions, hundreds of billions of dollars cycling in and out of there. We have no control of it, but you can control where you live and you know I know you're passionate about this what I'm passionate about it. We're both very passionate about mental health. Both of us have experienced our own issues, uh, in different ways, and what I don't want people doing is getting bogged down in fights they can't win and getting mentally uh, mentally overrunrun and swamped because there's no hope for them.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you there is hope, there is hope, but I want you to focus on that 25, 50 meter target instead of constantly looking at that 300 meter target Like, hey, let's put effect, let's affect what we can in our own environment. If that's just in your squad or your platoon or your company, or that's on your local town board or that's, uh, wherever, let's let's depression and anxieties you're. You're focused on a failure that's in your past.
Speaker 1:It's obviously a lot of it. Your depression lies in. And then you have this fucking focal like, this obsession with your, with your news cycle, with everything that's going wrong in the world, and you're hyper-focused on one thing Fucking Democrats are fucking us over or the Republicansans are bad, they're killing the gays. You're hyper focused on shit that you cannot affect and can never honestly hope to make any lasting change in that shit, and you're forgetting about all the shit's happening in your house, in your community, in your local schools, in the town you live in, the city you live in, you can. City you live in, you can affect that. How about you? Just be a good human being? Focus on the small things that you can help with On both sides of the aisle I don't give a fuck which side of the aisle you're on.
Speaker 1:Stop living in desperation and the anxiety panic of fucking Fox or CNBC, whatever news cycle you're on. Understand that you can take a deep breath and you can just focus on what's going on in your home, in your neck of the woods and make an impact. Help one person today. Yeah, dude, nobody.
Speaker 2:There's not enough people talking about that because they want us to be fucking completely inundated with the idea that we can't control shit yep, divided beyond hope and hating each other, and completely hopeless, just go inside and sit down and drink a fifth of whiskey every night. Watch netflix and uh, you know, just that's, that's your life in and tune out.
Speaker 1:Just keep keep fucking eating those chips, you piece of shit keep drinking. Keep putting that fucking fatty, fucking donut in your mouth. Keep eating that shit, just sit there.
Speaker 2:Isn't it crazy that during the COVID pandemic, one of the essential stores that stayed open were liquor stores?
Speaker 1:Yep, like Yep and Big Candy, lobbied to actually continue production of candy and sugary goods because America needs their sugar. I didn't know that I didn't know that was a big thing.
Speaker 2:That's new to me too, that's crazy no-transcript. You know we talk about. I want people to understand the difference between supporting your troops but then, but then, hating the Pentagon for their corruption and their complicity in forever wars and working hand in hand with the defense industry and the military industrial complex. And hey, it does not mean when you say I support my troops that you can't hate those fuckers at the top as well.
Speaker 1:Supporting your troops is a good thing.
Speaker 2:It's always a good thing, but I want you to get involved and understand, like, hey, there is a thing happening to these troops. You are being lied to as American citizens and it's something I call shadow policy, where they'll tell you you know, everything is good on the surface and they have all these recourses they can go to their chain of command, they can go to uh, they can go to IG, they can turn in ICE complaints, they can contact the representative. I'm like that shit doesn't work for maybe 5% of service members who do it. Just throwing out a random number there they might get some traction, but that does not work. And I could tell you all the reasons why. I said all of that is broken, but that is good stuff for citizens here and they say, oh, our service members are being taken care of. I'm telling you they're not. They're not being taken care of.
Speaker 2:So why do we have things like our country being overrun on the border with nothing to protect America, but we have service members over in the Middle East sitting on bases just waiting to, waiting to be, uh, bullet sponges for, for Iran or whoever, whoever wants to shoot a rocket at us tomorrow? Why? Why are we involved in all this. You know it's, and it's one of these things where, if you want to support your troops, if you want to truly be invested in their wellbeing and in the dedication and the sacrifice they've made to serve their country, then actually get involved and give a shit what is happening in the DOD and what the Pentagon is doing and the corruption, but, at the same time, don't lose yourself over it. Be aware of it and have these conversations, but don't just turn off, don't just say that's not my problem because the DOD makes up less than 1% of the population, so I don't care. That's for somebody else to worry about. Start caring. But these are all conversations that I'm constantly trying to have and I've stopped. That's one of the big differences.
Speaker 2:By the way, with Terminal CWO, I was focused on getting that attention out to military folks. It was military people. Now I'm more focused on telling America, telling citizens who either have been out long enough that they don't, that they don't know how the military is now. Um, you constantly hear why. You know, I got out in 2005 and this is not the military I remember.
Speaker 2:Well, no, it's not. It's not. It's constantly evolving. There's good things and there's bad things, but let's, let's have that conversation, but then telling citizens who have no, no understanding of what happens in the military beyond what Netflix shows them, um, telling them what the reality is and and dispense, dispelling a lot of this nonsense world that have an effect on in helping us. Well, there's just as many of them that are hurting us with their, their disinformation and misinformation and the kind of nonsense that they'll post for for clicks and grabs and trying to push an agenda through congress or whatever. And I'm like, dude, I cannot believe that you wrote that shit, like a simple Google search would tell me that you're a retard.
Speaker 1:So, um, but people follow them People follow them, they take it they take it as the gospel man. That's the crazy thing about influencer culture, um fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me tell you this, though this is. This is a huge change in topic, but uh, I had that, that podcast we did several years ago. We talked about mental health and suicide and, uh, not killing yourself. I can't even tell you how many people reached out to me like over the years and told me how much that episode impacted them. They that that was, and that's something I'm so thankful for, like security hall and all these other pages that are.
Speaker 1:They're constantly telling people, um, not to kill themselves, but then, but then talking about what suicide actually is because, that that helps people and um I think we, we, we both intimately like I remember when you weren't doing good, and I certainly remember when I wasn't doing good, and that individual doesn't get put on a TV screen, doesn't get put on a movie or a Netflix show. Mental health and suicide is always depicted as the disgruntled veteran addicted to alcohol, or the doped out dude that just finally takes his life, and we almost romanticize it. And I'm going to tell you right now, every fucking man, whether you know it, whether he shows it, he's fucking struggled or is struggling right now. That's a, that's a thing, one of the, and I I gotta be careful because it blurs this, the conversation blurs the line with a lot of different things that intersect with it in today's weird, fucked up world. But to be a man means to carry a lot of burden, to carry a lot on your fucking shoulders, and we need to normalize and be able to say that, dude, if you can't talk to your wife, if you can't talk to your best fucking friend, you got to find somebody to talk to. And it's got to be what. Come on, reach out to any one of us, reach out to somebody. You got to talk, man, you got to get that shit off your chest. You got to go find a resource because you're fucking needed.
Speaker 1:The guys that we're losing could be some of the biggest fucking champions for getting our country back on track Because they've seen some shit, because they've spent the last. They spent their entire adulthood probably deployed. A lot of their youth was given up to the military and we're losing those leaders. We're losing the individuals like justice month alone. Three fucking dudes three fucking dudes decided that they had enough and they're checked out and they're not here anymore. Some of them were fathers. Some of them had amazing life stories that, by and large, will get forgotten and that's a crime. That is one of the modern epidemics that we need to fucking rally around and fight and end.
Speaker 1:If you're listening and you're struggling, trust me, you're not alone Right now. You are part of a brotherhood and all of us have good days and bad days, and you might think that your day is worse than you could ever fucking imagine. But I am telling you stay. Stay in this fucking fight. Yeah, we're not going to fucking make it out of this situation without you. That's a fucking thing, Like if you wouldn't have checked out in a firefight. Don't check out today. Fact, yeah, don't check out today. Stay a little longer. I'll be honest, qrf isn't coming, but there's enough guys to your left and right that we don't need a qrf.
Speaker 2:Just the biggest thing is just making it through the night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude those night calls how many of you gotten.
Speaker 2:I know I still get them and that's the thing that I dealt with one this this last, last month actually and, uh, talked to guy after ledge but, um, you know, I, I tell people, this is the, this is the thing you know you, I tell people, survive, whatever it takes to survive. I did some things that I'm not proud of and that I look back on. I don't have regret but, like I, I'll just flat out tell you this was, this was after divorce and just really bad times and everything else. But I played, I played fast and loose on Tinder and, um, got some, got some things that I wouldn't do now, Not the man I am, but I did what I did to survive and I tell people, do what it takes to survive in the moment, because until that, that sun breaks through, uh, you, you got to fight ahead of you and there's, you know, I, I've, I've lost people through suicide.
Speaker 2:My, my older brother killed himself and it was the worst moment of my life. Um, and that's ultimately what saved me when I tried to do the same thing. But I'll tell people like, hey, when people were like, well, why didn't he just reach out? He could have just talked to somebody, I'm like he didn't want to reach out, he wanted to kill himself. He didn't want you to talk him out of it At that point. It's his battle. But you have to know, as the person who's fighting through that, that this is temporary. This doesn't last forever. I don't care how long you've been in this particular fight, it will end. It will end. Don't don't check out on the firefight, Don't. Um, and you and I have both experienced that pretty intimately.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, everything dissipates and that's a beautiful thing you brought up. If I look back at my life, at the worst suffering, I was convinced that it's that I'm never going to get what I want back. Everything's taken from me, just complete pity and really just focused on sorrow and all this pain, this misery, it's just going to be my constant fuck. This. I'm done. And I look back now and I see everything that's come and everything that's followed and, yeah, a lot of bad days in between, but there's a lot of good. It's been a lot of great fucking days and I'm not talking about monumental fucking wins. I'm talking about small victories, dude, small.
Speaker 1:You fight for inches in Afghanistan and Iraq. You fight to get to the point where the battle shifts, where the fucking AWT comes on station, where fucking gunship comes on station. You're like, fuck, yeah, dick them down, fight for that. Yeah, stick around for that moment. It's anybody that's been in combat, anybody's been to those harrowing fucking moments of life and death where it's like, oh fuck, like these motherfuckers got us pinned down, you didn't give up, you stayed, you stayed fighting. So stay, man. Like. I know a lot of people don't want to hear it, but I'm going to continue preaching it. Man, little groups of paratroopers find your lgop find your fucking lgop dude yeah, that shit will keep you alive.
Speaker 1:This whole thing started with a fucking lgop paul, greg and myself. We didn't know how to fucking survive. We were all fucking struggling and what did we do? We all coalesced around meme jokes, fucking poop and cum jokes and a few little tips of what was keeping us alive. And it fucking works. It fucking worked. Paul's thriving in his marriage. His kids are doing great. Greg's fucking thriving Single dad fucking finished out his master's. Looking at all the ways.
Speaker 1:When this piece of shit show started fucking a few years back from season one, we know what the fuck we're doing. None of us checked out and it was because we had to get Elgop. Yeah, I got help. I got treatment. I got went to a lot of different fucking great organizations that helped me. But by and large, the thing that will keep you in the fight is your Elgop, the two people you can text and talk to openly and honestly. Check in with each other, give each other daily reminders of why you're still here. You already do it. You already send memes to each other. Just talk and if your friend says, I'm good, don't give up Because that motherfucker's struggling, ask. Just fucking. Keep digging down and keep asking Like no dude, like, let's make some time. Watch a movie through discord, play a video game, just don't give up on an individual. When you give up, sadly, that's when things can can turn for the worst.
Speaker 2:Ladies, and I'll tell you, women have the hardest time understanding this. But if your guy talks to you like this, that's great. Don't judge him, dear God. Don't judge him. Do not judge him. I'm telling you he'll never talk to you again. Do not judge him. But if he doesn't talk to you, don't take offense to it, because you're you are not somebody who I guess that can hear that, hear that truth and that honesty, the way he needs to say it. And he's got to go find his Elgop. He's got to go find those dudes who understand what that is. He's fighting.
Speaker 2:You know, I always thought about this too, because we didn't understand why Vietnam vets or world war II vets wouldn't talk about what they experienced. Because you haven't fucking earned it. You haven't earned it. Why would I to you about the shit I was in in the jungles or what I was doing, or, you know, running a guy through with a bayonet or whatever kind of crazy stuff I was doing in combat, when there's no context that you would ever understand me and you haven't earned it? I need to talk to another dude who is in that fight and that's why these guys would come together at the VFW and everything, because this is the way that they could. They could connect to people who knew that fight, and that's what you have to find. You have to find dudes who have experienced what you experienced, because otherwise you're like I'm not going to share this with you, you haven't earned it. You can't possibly understand what it is that I'm that I'm dealing with in my head.
Speaker 1:Absolutely man. And the other thing is guys need to stop. Guys and gals, stop minimizing your own journey. One thing that I realized there's a lot of focus on special operations, rangers, navy SEALs, afsoc dudes. They're great dude, amazing individuals, and some of those stories are grand and fucking phenomenal stories of courage and commitment, self-sacrifice. But by and large, that's not the lived experience of every GWAT veteran and you can't sit there and compare what you went through to those guys, don't? I'm?
Speaker 2:a self-deprecating pogue.
Speaker 1:I love to clown on it's it's the best you know.
Speaker 2:I I'll tell people, yeah, I did some cool things over the years, but I'm I'm an intel weenie man, like I don't tell you, I I'm a pogue.
Speaker 1:So you, you, you were a vital aspect, vital member of our fucking organization. I don't want to hear that. Everybody does. Everybody has a seat at the fucking table.
Speaker 2:The fight doesn't continue if bullets and beans don't move. I'm, I'm important, I was in supply.
Speaker 1:Those, those grunts couldn't have done their job without me let's not get carried away, but you are important. I hope the guy we just walked off an s1 kid off the ledge I matter. Yes, jimmy, you matter too. Are you sure? Yes, update my purse debt.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir, do me a favor and keep your office open for more than half an hour a day, and then we'll have a conversation.
Speaker 1:You piece of shit.
Speaker 2:Always on lunch break, when I show up to battalion and I need to get some paperwork done and your sign says closed for training, somebody's going to die. It's not going to be me.
Speaker 1:I'm pissed, I'm pissed, oh my god, first Battalion, you were the absolute fucking worst from 2012 to 2014. After that, you had some good individuals that came in there Shout out to Navia. You were fucking G Fuck so many horrible S1 dudes. But there are some good ones. There are some good ones. There are some good ones. There's some good ones. There are some good ones. There are some good ones because they deployed to, they came, I remember, um, a few of them were fucking awesome to have around for, uh, some of our j sets. So sorry if I make funny on the memes, it's just, it's easy content, guys. It's too fucking easy.
Speaker 2:I gotta be able to do some memes right dude, my last assignment I was at uh, where was I at? I was. I was at the 13th ESC at Fort Hood and I remember we were under HHBN or something and the S1 there I was super jacked about this S1. Because they had a Sergeant First Class in there and, dude, she was like not toxic and demoralizing I don't want that to come across like that, but she was like locked in and she was going around him and him and dudes up If they, if, if. She was jacked up and like no, we stay open, we stay open, we support the soldier.
Speaker 1:And I was like this is awesome man Good for you, sir, that's that's the way it should be, because my 20 years has been the complete opposite of that dude. Yeah, yeah, we, we had some really good ones in in, uh, first battalion, seventh group. Um, again like fuck, I will champion that woman. Navia, you saved my ass. So when I went, when I became a warrant officer that like like anything else, like all the all, the all of my old stuff just out into the fucking ether they had no record of me being a citizen.
Speaker 1:So, like this is the irony of it, another Hispanic warrant officer is processing me and he's like hey, man, how'd you make it in the army? You don't have citizenship. I'm like the fuck, you mean, I don't have citizenship, speak better english than you, motherfucker. I can say that because he was brown too. I don't want to hear shit in the comments, but this motherfucker was calling like fucking ice on my ass, like he's like there's no paperwork, says you're american fool. I was like what the fuck do you mean, bro? I was like yeah, for for reals, I say like there's no paperwork here. I had to like get a lawyer and I had to like I called up my fucking S1.
Speaker 1:Navia was like dude on it. I got you fucking hooked it up, found my old shit that proved I was a citizen. I'm like, I have a US passport. Dog, I have a red passport too. This motherfucker was trying to get me fucking processed out Under this. To get me fucking processed out Other than this current administration, I probably would have been sent out of country. You're on a bus with ice, bro. I've been working with fucking losetas. All right, baldro on Alpha gather around.
Speaker 1:Hey, you wouldn't be the first seven group guy and that's why I made that joke. Oh, assorted past yikes, yes yes that's the one and only positive thing I'll ever say about you, s1. So, um, enjoy it because um, as of uh 12 pm today the memes will flow again. I'll find another one. Always, my inbox is always fucking super salty with s1 jokes. Fuck you, you couldn't do your job without me. I'm like well, I'm not in anymore, so not again, dude yeah, man what do you uh, what's uh, what's on the docket these days?
Speaker 1:man, you got a new podcast. You got, uh, you uh have some success in life. Uh, multiple things you were juggling a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I have lots, of, lots of irons in the fire and I don't know if any of them are going to be productive, but, um, it's, it's a good path and doing good things. And yeah, I'm just, I'm just focused on on the grind of where I'm at with directing a movement. Um, that's one of one of the organizations I'm part of, is is pushing that movement I kind of talked about a little bit earlier, but the podcast uh had a really, really great episode yesterday where I interviewed this dude who dropped huge dimes on Marxism and public libraries and the American library association. Dude, we're we're not fighting. You know Spetsnaz and Commandos and Green Berets and all these special ops dudes, we're fighting nerds wearing glasses and shit who are taking over our country and who are training our kids up and all kinds of crazy stuff. Like, the fight is not with. You know the guy who's been taking eating trend balone sandwiches and you can tear up the battlefield.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's academia and so, like, this is where the fight is now and, um, anyways, great episode there. But other than that, dude, I got my. I got my daughter coming out this week to be with me for six months. Hell yeah, I've got season passes for all the disney parks and water parks that we're gonna tear up man, I'm pumped.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, man, yeah, dude, dude, this been a fucking blast. This is most is a very much needed bro. Hang um, if people want to check out your stuff, where can they go?
Speaker 2:uh, you can go to our country, our choice on youtube. Uh, I don't post a lot of the podcasts on youtube because they're just dude. We get, we get.
Speaker 1:Oh, you'll be demonetized. You'll be fucking bad.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're already on two strikes right now, another one where we're fucked. So, yeah, youtube's out, but I just posted the other one to rumble. You can go to my, my Twitter page, which is a Samasaur, you know here. Here's the irony that. Let me tell you about Samasaur really quick. So so I created that page just so mill Twitter would have a place to shit on me once. Once the investigation went public and I just was clowning around and I was like nobody grabbed Samasaur, that's gold, like that's, that's mine. I didn't realize that my page was going to blow up. And you know, I got like 200,000 followers now and so I'm kind of stuck with Samasaur. He's a little gay, but that's all right, I'm rocking it, it's mine. Now I am Samasaur, so go check it out, but I just posted the newest podcast there. But yeah, that's where you can find me.
Speaker 1:Any ideas on Term terminal CWO? Are we going to shelve it someday or is it still? Is it going to thrive, transition over, or what are your thoughts on it?
Speaker 2:Dude, the worst thing ever was going on the Sean Ryan show and picking up all those followers on terminal CWO Cause. Now I'm just overrun by boomer retards who don't understand memes and satire. Holy shit, dude. The comments are brutal. I can't take it. They're so dumb and they don't understand. Like.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know Like.
Speaker 2:I had like 56,000 followers that were that, that I earned, that, got there the right way, and now I have 189,000 followers and I'm like dear God, these comments are. I don't even want to continue doing this, so I don't know. Um, right now it goes, and sometimes I I post a meme here and there or a thing here and there. I'm actually working on one investigation right now. It's been a long time, but I'm working on a command team Crazy stuff. But they were relieved of command.
Speaker 2:The commander, the first sergeant, platoon sergeant and the investigating officer initially said there were no findings and then came back a month later and amended it to say there was findings. Sounds like there's some sketchy shit with that. But then, like the entire the entire, I will say company I won't, I won't say what it really is the entire company came together and wanted to submit sworn statements on their behalf, like defending them, and the brigade commander refuses to accept them. Uh, it's, it's a super fucked up investigation the whole thing. Like I've. I've interviewed multiple people and this sounds exactly like you know, ig was weaponized against you know these folks. It's, it's a mess. So I'm working on that right now and it's these. These are a very exhaustive investigation. That's why I don't do them anymore. But, uh, I took this one because the person was there. Yeah, they seem nice, son of a bitch. I'm in, yeah, yeah, so that's what we're doing now, but, um, we'll see where the road goes.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah man, I'm focused on saving america. Dude, I'm in. That's uh, the same, the same, uh, it's along the same lines of effort. I'm trying to keep every veteran that I can get a hold of and back in the fight. Because, guess what, up Up until the you know, there was a timeframe where, if you looked at our government, there was a lot of service members and somewhere along the lines that changed and we didn't have a lot of service member representant representatives in our, in our local community or in our federal government, and that's fucking weird to me Seemed like a concerted effort.
Speaker 2:Or you get cock knobs like Dan Crenshaw. Yeah, jeez.
Speaker 1:More on that cock swaddle. Later on Fucking, I got friends that are friends with him and like I respect them because there was, those individuals are great. Um, but Dan, I don't know about you. I don't know about you, no-transcript. But I pulled back, I pulled back. But, needless to say, I think there's a meme out there of Dan Crenshaw using his eye at the glory hole.
Speaker 2:There's definitely a meme out there. I've seen plenty of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anywho, dude, it's been a pleasure having you on the show, man. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for uh and uh, bro, like I said, we go way back um some of the um the darkest moments of my life, but some of the best are tied into our time in windsor, colorado.
Speaker 1:And uh, yeah, dude, yeah, man, I'm glad I'm glad that I have you and I have philip uh still in my life because, uh, you, because you're some of the best individuals, man, both of you in your own unique and wonderful ways, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate everything that you're doing for the veteran community and for our larger American audience.
Speaker 2:So thank you for being here, man.
Speaker 1:Love you, brother, love you. Thank you all for tuning in. I'm going to talk to Sam a little bit before I have to jump on another show, but I don't want to record that. That's going to be an intimate thing, but I will let you do this. Go ahead and pause. Go to the episode description. Click all those links.
Speaker 1:If you're not following Sam, what the fuck is wrong with you? Follow him on Terminal CWO, follow him on Samus Oron X and please do us a favor. Hit. You know, let you do it. I won't look. Let you have some privacy. While you do that, leave us a comment. Say something nice, like Denny's fucking awesome, or I like his new shirt from born primitive. They're not a sponsor, but who knows, maybe someday, uh, do me a favor and just be good to each other, be kind, be understanding and, uh, if you're a veteran out there dealing with some heavy shit, stay in the fight. Get the fucking gun back up and we'll be there. Reach out. Thank you all for tuning in. We'll see you all next time. Until then, take care.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us head on over to buymeacoffeecom forward slash SecHawk podcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram, x or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhallcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week. Thank you.
