Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
Olympian and Race car driver, AJ Muss: From Brain Trauma to Recovery & Racing
In this powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Aaron "AJ" Muss, Olympic snowboarder and professional race car driver, to unpack a raw and transformative journey through brain trauma, addiction recovery, and elite performance.
AJ opens up about surviving a near-fatal accident, the physical and emotional toll of invisible injuries, and the mental battles that followed. From his time competing on the world’s biggest stages to navigating mental health setbacks and identity loss, this episode reveals what it truly means to rebuild—and evolve—after life-changing trauma.
Together, Deny and AJ explore:
The mental resilience required for Special Operations and professional sports
How addiction and trauma intersect in high-performance environments
The importance of vulnerability, support systems, and community
The role of mindset, movement, and purpose in long-term recovery
Lessons in personal growth, balance, and redefining success
This episode is a must-listen for veterans, athletes, and anyone battling brain injury, PTSD, or recovery from trauma. It’s a deep reminder that healing is possible when you embrace the process—and allow others in.
👉 Don’t forget to follow, like, share, and subscribe to Security Halt! on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts for more inspiring conversations on mental health, resilience, and transformation.
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Chapters
00:00 The Importance of Special Operations Collaboration
02:58 Challenges in Special Operations Funding
05:53 Overcoming Adversity: AJ's Journey
11:56 The Road to Recovery and Resilience
17:54 Understanding Brain Trauma and Emotional Health
23:59 The Power of Vulnerability and Support Systems
26:10 Understanding Addiction and Treatment
28:03 The Journey of Recovery
29:51 Mindset and Performance
33:58 The Importance of the Journey
38:53 Transitioning to New Challenges
42:54 Giving Back to the Community
Instagram: @securityhalt
Tik Tok: @security.halt.pod
LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
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Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go the only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose, to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent. It's hosted by me, danny Caballero, because the DNA is like, so like it's intertwined. Like Marsock Raiders had a lot of influence from the Green Beret community to help like stand up and like formulate their you know, not just tactics and everything, but like how they form their team.
Speaker 2:So well, yeah, talk about my buddies that are still over there, Like that's how they want to get rid of us, because we don't have like a designated role. We just do everything that everyone else already does.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but dude, it's, it sucks, because I think that, like, like, anybody gives a fuck. I just think that they're such a vital asset and it's so shitty. Historically it's been proven that they're needed, they're necessary. Historically it's been proven that they're needed, they're necessary, they're. I mean, dude, it's insanely vital to the force to adapt, to grow, to understand that they need to have a buy-in in the special operations community, but they're so stubborn and like, well, we're, we're special already. It's like no dude, like you guys are great, but nobody wants to work with your conventional dudes or your conventional units because you fucking suck. Keep your raiders. They're a huge asset, they're great to work with and, like I said, like what force just does muse?
Speaker 2:nowadays don't really do much yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it sucks for them because those guys are awesome and like I say a lot, so the best green berets are forced recon guys to get out and come over yeah, yeah, I know he was gonna do an inner branch transfer and try to go on the long walk, but he got a job offer of making 280k a year and he's like I'm out. He's like, unless you guys and I didn't he didn't know this until he was after he was out. He got a phone call and he didn't even know that marsok had a tier one element and they called him and they're like hey, we want you to come.
Speaker 2:Uh, come, try out. He's like well, what are you paying me? He's like well, your normal salary goes. Yeah, go, fuck yourself you mean?
Speaker 1:you mean you tell me I have to go through another selection, be, uh, kicked in the dick repeatedly and and you're going to pay me nothing, yeah, no.
Speaker 2:He was a life E5. He just got in so much trouble all the time, he just didn't care.
Speaker 1:Again, some of the best dudes I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I just got back Three weeks ago I was in Stone Bay just visiting friends before they deployed, but it's like this echo chamber just visiting friends before they deployed, but it's like this echo chamber when I was there with I just called my brother when I was there with my brother. The complaints, the bitching and everything they hate hasn't changed in four years and it's the same exact complaints. The dudes are complaining about the same thing. Nothing fucking changes.
Speaker 1:AJ, I would tell you that's across the board. In any special operations field.
Speaker 2:Like I was doing some trying to do some work with 10th at my ranch in Colorado when I had my PRS training facility and everything else. They never fucking pay and even the CRIF and the CTAC just didn't want to pay. They have no money this, this and that. But then they go do a level three course and spend $250,000, two weeks of training and don't really get much out of it $250,000, two weeks of training and don't really get much out of it.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, this really makes sense, guys. Yeah, oh yeah, dude, I know that that process of like hey, we want to do this, train up opportunities. Yeah, can you just submit this packet again, but make sure it costs fucking nothing.
Speaker 2:It's like, all right, it got to the point that I was like what, what, what's your guys' daily budget for housing and food and everything? They're like oh, in that area it's $150 a day. I'm like add 20%, that's what I'll do it for. It's like oh, it makes sense. The only dudes that paid on time and actually were willing to spend money was Ground Branch and GRS. They paid on time. They were all great. Those dudes were awesome.
Speaker 1:I can't tell you how many times they were all great. Those dudes were awesome. I can't tell you how many times they were like, hey, we have a slot for a school. I'm like, well, can you pay for it? We, we can just just have them. Have them pay for the ticket out of their own money. We're not doing that. No, and it's like the best thing is like we have this government charge card where it's like oh wow.
Speaker 2:I set up to accept payments from it. I set up everything I I set up to accept payments from it. I set up everything, I set up everything to accept payments from it.
Speaker 1:And they never pay it. That's the thing. It's like, yeah, yeah, no, use your government travel card. Will you pay it? Well, I mean yeah, eventually, but then I'm on the hook for the late fees and the interest. Well, I mean, shouldn't you be? Get the fuck out of here, dude, exactly, gut it all, Trump, gut it all. I don't give a fuck. Cut everything. I don't care how bad it gets. I will tighten the belt in my own household. Cut it all. Just start clean slate. Absolutely. Oh my God, man, aaron AJ Moss, thank you for being here.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Security Out Podcast. Dude, you've got an exciting and adventure-filled life. Dude. Yeah, absolutely. Now I know why it came across my feed. We must have some frigging common friends, because the first thing I saw was some of your race car footage, which I mean. If you're an American, there's two things that you want Hot, nasty, speed and girls in bikinis in Daytona. Absolutely, seeing some of your racing feet, I'm like, holy shit, this dude gets it Like he's fucking sending it.
Speaker 1:And then find out you're also, you know, a snowboarder, an extreme athlete, and then, on top of that, you're somebody that's been through quite the trials and tribulations, with a horrific injury, and right now we need to be able to talk about what it takes to come back, because there's so many of our guys that have suffered and they've all tapped into their grit, their resilience.
Speaker 1:But then there's a lot of people in our community that have gone through the worst of the worst and maybe their doctors or well-meaning family members want them to just hey, just be comfortable, stay. But, dude, you'll never get back. You'll never be able to truly get back to who you are or improve on who you were, if you don't push the envelope and learn to be able to push into that discomfort. It's not about just like accepting oh I, limitations. You know I can't do this, I can't do that. Find what you can do, find how to heal, recover and get back to like living your life. Like, don't just get trapped in that warm blanket of like recovery. It's like, dude, at some point you got to get back after it. So, aj, man, let's dive into your story, dude after it.
Speaker 2:So, aj man, let's dive into your story, dude. Yeah, so my name is aaron aj mus, as you said, 2018 olympic snowboarder, and now I drive race cars for, af course, a ferrari. Um grew up, born in jersey, was sent away at a young age because I was a little fuck up and I lived on a getting in a lot of trouble, and then I was sent away.
Speaker 2:I lived on a, getting in a lot of trouble, and then I was sent away. I lived on a ranch in Colorado running cattle. So we would work spring, summer, fall and I'd have the winters off so I'd go snowboarding. And I didn't have school then because I did all my homeschooling, so just went out to the Maui and started snowboarding and then I think I have a little bit different career path when it comes to snowboarding. I actually didn't care about snowboarding, I wanted to become an.
Speaker 2:Olympic snowboarder. I wanted to become an Olympian and the sport I was doing at the time just happened to be snowboarding. So I'm like you know what? This is what I'm going to dive into. So join like an academy which would be like a Vail Valley or Vail Snowboard Academy Started training there, everything else, the career path.
Speaker 2:I was a snowboard racer. They didn't have the best program. So then I shifted to Steamboat Springs, colorado, trained there for a little bit and I was a decent snowboarder. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't anything great. But leading up to about, I was a runner up for the 2012 Olympics in Sochi. I was okay. Up for the 2012 Olympics in Sochi, I was okay. I wasn't great. I was a good snowboarder.
Speaker 2:But leading up to the 2018 games, I started to get better and I ended up having shoulder surgery. So I dislocated my shoulder, I tore both labrums. When I tore both labrums, I was flown home that night from Austria. I had surgery the next day and after that surgery, they sent me home and they overdosed me and sent me home overdosed. So my mom I have a very addictive personality, so I gave all my medication to my mom. To give me my medication, she gave me my Oxycontin, my Oxycodone, which I hate, amphetamines it's not my thing. I never was a very religious person, but my mom had this feeling to go check on her son.
Speaker 2:We were staying at a friend's house. We're at Breckenridge, colorado, which is like 8,000 feet above sea level, so my oxygen level is already pretty low. And she comes downstairs at around 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm eyes rolling the back of the head no one's home, just overdosed, completely overdosed. She calls the medics, the EMTs show up and I guess when you're 17, 18, 19 years old, the protocol when they're showing symptoms of overdosing is to try to make them puke, aspirate and make them puke to try to get the pills out. Wellate and make them puke to try to get the pills out. Well, I've only had two pills at that point I was just all the medication for the hospital. I instantaneously aspirated, popped the lung and then instantaneous pneumonia. They put me in the ambulance, bring me to the hospital. The trauma center up in Summit County isn't the best and they said it was like an umbrella, everything they would try to fix. I would just collapse because they didn't know I ended up having a hole in my heart.
Speaker 1:Oh Jesus.
Speaker 2:I have a POPs lung, I have instantaneous pneumonia and I have a hole in my heart. So they couldn't stabilize me. They just couldn't figure it out. They intubate me I. So they couldn't stabilize me. They just couldn't figure it out. They intubate me. I have five IVs in me. I mean it was just like a perfect storm.
Speaker 2:Luckily, the surgeon that we work with over at Stedman Hawkins Clinic is the best person in the world. He hopped on his motorcycle at four o'clock in the morning and raced over to the hospital about an hour and a half away to be with my mom. This is my orthopedic surgeon to make sure I get the best care possible. They put me like I'm not the best of medical terms. They put me in a sterile field. And when they put me in a sterile field, my mom walks in the room and there's a preacher there and they thought I was dead. In a body bag. My mom like just absolutely worst case scenario.
Speaker 2:They call flight for life in flight for life lands, weather rolls in, the helicopter can't take off, so then they throw me in a mobile. I guess it's like it's not quite an ambulance, it's like a mobile ER. They throw me in that and then they have to drive down to Denver, which is about an hour and 30 minute drive. So they get a police escort, throw me in that thing, bring me down to Denver. And on the way down to Denver is when I flatlined oh shit. So they were able to get me back to life, got me down to Denver and then they were able to figure out that a hole in my heart, everything else. They put me in a medically induced coma. Then, when I was down there, I was in a coma for about a month, month, month and a half roughly and yeah, then there's just kind of the recovery started. I was operating at 36% oxygen for hours, so that caused brain damage. I had brain damage in my front left lobe and yeah, I mean, it was just a perfect storm.
Speaker 2:I woke up out of a coma early. I woke up like 3 am when they were trying to wake me up at nine. So I have no idea what's going on. I have a tube down my throat and I feel absolutely terrible for that nurse. I tortured her for like five hours. I pretend to choke. So she would come into the room because I'm trying to get information. As soon as she stepped too close to the bed. I'd grab her hand and not let go Like just absolutely torturing this woman.
Speaker 2:I felt terrible. But yeah, then I, my mom and some friends came that morning and then the recovery process just started. It was a long road, um, I shortened it a lot. I had to relearn how to read, write and speak again. Um, I knew who I was and I knew who people were. I remembered faces faces, but I didn't remember names. Yeah, I mean, it was. It was hectic, to say the least fuck dude, that is.
Speaker 1:That is a fucking. That's restarting a video game you were playing in fucking legendary mode, yeah it was life. Life's been great for a moment. Uh, let's take everything away and let's see how you do. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And the biggest thing for me on my recovery process was my fine motor skills were okay, but then I started to deal with brain trauma and deal with all signs and symptoms of CTE. So, as we know, cte can't be diagnosed to postmortem when you take a chunk of the brain out. But like, okay, so I started walking. I started being able to breathe. The day I woke up from a coma I told myself I'm walking out of here in two days. That was my goal. The doctor said you'll never snowboard again. You need heart surgery.
Speaker 2:I refused the heart surgery. I said no, because I would never be able to snowboard again, I think with my personality and what I was, if I absolutely needed it to live. That's one thing. But I thought in my head that it was a little early to dive into surgery. The medical industry nowadays is like spend money, do surgeries, build the insurance companies, talk to to some other um hard surgeons and they're like there's a, there is a possibility, you can come back from this. So walked out of the hospital. I refused that wheelchair. I said absolutely not. I came into this on a bed. I'm walking out of here standing like not happening.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I mean, started the process, um, then started doing the rehabilitation. I was able to get strong enough and healthy enough that the heart actually it's called a PFO, a post-formative ovality so I was able to strengthen my heart enough that the valve closed. So I still have a hole there, but my valve closed the hole kind of closed up with my muscles. I guess it's pretty common. Actually A lot of people have it. You just don't know it unless you overdose yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's absolutely true, and you'd be surprised how guys find out about it. Even within special operations, guys will have a procedure. Something happens. Then they find out. They got a hold. Dude, I've seen guys that it's all about will. It's all about fucking will. I've known dudes that have lied and and found ways to sweeten the nurses, to change charts so you can go to fucking dive school and it's like dude, like your heart's compromised. Well, I really want that fucking dive bubble.
Speaker 2:No, fucking send it dude. And the biggest thing for me is it didn't it changed me actually a lot as a person. Because of the brain trauma, as we know, you lose some emotions. I have no sympathy or empathy. I understand it through therapy, which I'm a huge component of therapy, and not so much as in a negative, because therapy has a lot of negative side vision. People view it as such a negative, like cause. Therapy has a lot of negative side vision, Like people view it as such a negative thing.
Speaker 2:I went to neurocognitive feedback training and went to therapy to better myself, to understand myself more and be able to be more self-aware of these emotions and be able to work through the problem right. We're giant in my mind. All of us are giant toolboxes. As many of those tools I can put in to deal with these emotions, I'm going to be better. And then, on top of that, for friendships and relationships and my girlfriend and so on and so forth, if you don't have empathy and sympathy, it's the quickest way to become a sociopath. So I learned what those emotions were, even though I don't have them, so I can still operate in society as a normal citizen. That makes sense Absolutely Like I understand it and I'm able to fake show it, but doesn't mean I feel it. But we're smart enough and being able to evolve enough to be able to have empathy. Show that makes sense.
Speaker 1:It does With our high performers. The thing I didn't understand about brain injuries I thought that something happens and then you're done. You have no way of coming back. There's no way of building over that damage. But the doctors will quickly tell you that, high achievers, high performers, you adapt. You figure out exactly what you just shared. You understood that something was missing. You had the drive and the spirit to go after the assistance to help you overcome that. You're building scaffolding around the areas that are damaged. That's something that high achievers, high performance individuals are good at. High achievers, high performance individuals are good at.
Speaker 1:When I had that same understanding of like hey, like there's there's a reason why cognitive you're feeling a decline. But let me tell you, like you're already adapting to your cognitive issues. You're already adapting to your memory loss. You're carrying around all these notebooks. You're carrying around all you're writing down everything You're you're sending pictures and reminding to yourself of what you have to do. These are all ways that, before you start getting help, you, listening, might be able to identify like oh, wow, like I'm already doing that. So if you're finding yourself not knowing where you're driving to out of nowhere, or you're misplacing stuff everywhere so you keep everything inside your truck. I'm looking at you guys in special operations Guys you're juggling five notebooks to keep your day organized. These are all things that you're doing.
Speaker 1:You don't understand why you're doing it. Maybe, oh, my memory's a little bad. Well, maybe you're dealing with some of the issues that are a result and effect of repeated head blast. Repeated blast exposure, repeated head impact these are all things that impact your brain and your memory and your cognitive ability. But you're building scaffolding, you're building resources and tools. You don't have all the tools yet because you're not going to the doctor, you're not asking for help, but when you do, you'll be able to put things together and understand that you can overcome a lot of this stuff. You just have to be able to lean forward and dude. The ability to identify the lack of empathy and sympathy is huge, because there's a lot of people that wouldn't do that. A lot of people would just take that as like oh, there's a new superhero power, I don't have to care.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's also a lot of cultural thing Like luckily I didn't come from that culture, but going to the doctor admitting there's a problem in your guys' culture through friends it's shown as a weakness. It's not a weakness, it's actually the complete opposite of a weakness. Being able to admit your faults, figure out what's causing those faults and move forward is the biggest thing. I never suffered from depression After this accident. As soon as my dopamine drops, I suffered massively from depression. Never had suicidal thoughts, nothing like that. But after this accident they come. As soon as my dopamine levels drop, as soon as I'm not doing something or something's too difficult or something's too hard, the first thing that pops in my mind is I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 2:It's the first thing that pops in my mind. But through working with therapists and neurocognitive feedback training, I think has been the biggest thing for me and psilocybin treatments, honestly, have been huge for me. So the doctor that I worked with, Dr Krause, she worked with Muhammad Ali through medical school. She said any doctor that says they understand the brain is completely lying to you. The brain is the most difficult thing in the world and no one will ever understand your problems, the process that goes through your brain, because the little small things that may affect me may not affect the next person, but it doesn't make it less than or more than a problem in your brain. But all signs have shown that you may sever the neuron but they are finding that we can open up new neurological pathways in our brain. So for me, when we did some psilocybin treatments it brought to me it's not a cure, right, it's helping you be more self-aware.
Speaker 2:To me the self-awareness is what's the big key in helping get through brain trauma is being able to acknowledge those problems, acknowledge those feelings and work. The problem there's nothing you cannot get through if you can acknowledge them. When you suppress is the problem, because your subconscious will continue to eat at you. It's the most powerful thing is your subconscious. That's why we do drills, we work on technique it's snowboarding or in special operations you always default to your training or what you're doing. So bring that aspect to your normal life.
Speaker 2:Well, last time I was depressed, what did I do to make me feel better? Well, this is what I did. I relaxed, or I just like to me. My dog has been the biggest thing for me that when I'm feeling sad, he will not leave me alone. He wants to be with me and I think, as much as we like to isolate, being around people that are similar mindset or want to help is the biggest thing for me, and for me it's him and my girlfriend girlfriend, like they're just two people that I can let my guard down and not feel judged and be able to have a conversation with.
Speaker 2:I mean, your support system is your biggest thing. Everyone in my life that hasn't been able to support me I haven't been able to openly have a conversation with that is hard. They're not in my fucking life anymore, they're just gone. So I mean it's brain trauma is brain trauma, whether it's from an explosion or from getting hit in the head or playing football. There's a lot of people out there that are feeling the same thing. You just have to be willing to go out and talk to people and the right people.
Speaker 1:It's so true.
Speaker 2:Like I can't like. A really good friend of mine right now is suffering. He's in the community and he's suffering really hard. He's transferring jobs, he's going a different direction and his love life was terrible, his family life was terrible and he just wanted to give up. He was just done and we're working really hard on being there for him. Just taking a second be like you know what I'm driving home, let me just call him and see how he's doing, having a conversation with him. Like I also think that your friend group needs to make an effort to be there for you.
Speaker 2:I notice a lot, at least with special operations, when you leave the community. Besides your very close friends, those guys you're dead to them. They're not really there. They're so focused on the job, they're so task saturated that they don't think outside themselves, whether they're worried about career progression or worried about anything else. Those are your brothers. You have to be there for them. It's so crucial. In my opinion.
Speaker 2:It's exhausting and tiring watching these dudes who just think that there's no escape and not being able to be self-aware that that self-escape that you do is actually more detrimental to everyone around you but yourself. It hurts your family, the ones that truly love you more than anything, the thing that's helped me through my career, or retiring from snowboarding, going into different careers, knowing that my loved ones do not actually care what I accomplish. They're proud of me, but at the end of the day, snowboarding, for example, was who I was. Not Sorry, it wasn't who I was, it's what I did. Who I am is Aaron AJ Muss. I'm the person that grew up with my mother, grew up with my family, grew up with my friends, and that's who they care about.
Speaker 2:The people who truly matter in your community don't care what tab you have, what awards you have. They care about you. They're just proud of you. So be you. Don't be this image of what you think people want you to be. You'll never fulfill that. Whether it's what you because you always hold yourself to a higher standard, as a performance athlete or in special operations you're holding yourself to a standard you will never fulfill. Sometimes a good enough is enough, but that's also what makes us who we are is nothing's ever good enough and we always want to be better. And you, it's such a fine line to ride, whether it's in sports, it's so true, it's just you got to lean on your support system.
Speaker 2:There's a reason why they're there and they care.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one of the biggest things that never gets fully talked about is we talk about medications, we talk about all these interventions, but the reality is medication isn't going to call at you know, or answer the phone at 2 am, at 3 am, when you're having a rough time and you're really, really battling with those demons, you know a meditation isn't going to be there. When you're at your lowest point, you're not going to reach for those tools. When you're at your lowest point, when you're really struggling, it's the people around you you're going to lean on and you have to be able to be vulnerable. That's the hardest part, absolutely. And you have to be able to be vulnerable. That's the hardest part, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Be vulnerable, be willing to say you're not okay, and I can almost guarantee that everybody in your community of professional athletes there are tons of people you could be vulnerable around and they will not judge you because at the end of the day, they feel the same fucking thing you have to be vulnerable.
Speaker 2:I think it's more powerful and you're stronger as a man to be vulnerable than you are to suppress and override. There's time and a place, but at the end of the day, you have to let it out, you have to talk about it. You have to face those demons, whether it's the physical tasks that you had to accomplish to get to where you are. It's 10 times harder than what's in your brain. It's just what's in your brain feels like it's never going to go away and you spiral and spiral and spiral. But how did you get through that hard task in life? You put your head down and you worked through the problem. You took it one step at a time. You can't control the past. You can't control the future. The only thing you can control is the here and the now, the present. So be in the present, be self-aware of what you're thinking and what you're feeling, and try to continue on. And it's so much easier to say than do. But it's just one of those things you got to continue to do.
Speaker 2:And I'm a huge component in psilocybin treatments huge component, I think it is a awesome tool. But when you're like, oh yeah, I've been going to these treatments once or two times a month. That's an addiction. Okay, that's not working. A problem that's still suppressing the issue. That is not helping.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you pointed that out. Yeah, like I will do it once every three or four months when I'm feeling a way that I can't see something. That's there. Yeah, but if I'm in a good place and I continue to be self-aware, I will continue to do. I will continue to stay in the same state as I am Because to me, like I don't drink, I hate drinking Not a big fan because it just brings out those dark demons and you lose some sort of control.
Speaker 2:Right and when, like the first time we did psilocybin treatment, I went into a deep, deep hole right, went full in five, six grams, all the way deep as I can. But now through treatment I like personally, for me, I like that micro dosage because I'm still very cognitively there, but it opens my mind up to be more vulnerable for me. That's how it works for me. So it's finding that balance for the individual. What works for me and what works for you isn't going to work for the next guy. I'm sure we do things differently. It's just finding that balance to a healthy life and we're going to have bad days. No one's perfect.
Speaker 1:That's exactly it You're not going to have. We want to get on this road to recovery, of getting better, of healing, overcoming an injury, and we want to tell ourselves that we're going to get to a place where everything's perfect, there's not going to be any bad days, it's going to be sunshine, rainbows and lollipops, and it's just going to be sunshine, rainbows and lollipops, and it's just going to be perfect. And that's not life, and you shouldn't want a life like that. You should want a life filled with good days, bad days, easy days, hard days, all of it. A life well-lived includes having hardships, it includes being tested, and so is recovery. I'm sure when you were going through the first few weeks, the first few weeks, it wasn't easy. It wasn't, it wasn't something that you looked forward to. But as you move forward in your journey, what was that turning point where you were like man, I know I'm going to be able to snowboard again and I know I'm going to be able to do some other amazing things for me.
Speaker 2:So my recovery had to be pretty quick due to the fact that after I woke up for the coma, my first event of the year for the olympic qualifying season was four months away. So I had I had to buckle down and really get to work. Honestly, the turning point for me, knowing I was gonna be okay, wasn't until the second or third race of the season. Because, oh man, for whatever it was, I woke up and I said I am willing to die for what I'm trying to accomplish.
Speaker 2:And first race of the year I won by a good amount, very, and it was because I didn't give a shit. All I cared about was being the best I could be and the confidence I had in the start gate. Looking to my left and looking at that guy, whether he thought it or not, in my head I said I'm willing to die for this, are you? So my confidence level was so high because I was willing to go that extra few steps that he was not. I was willing to fail extremely hard to succeed, if that makes sense. And then that season I had.
Speaker 2:That season was probably my best season I've ever had. Out of 16 races, I won 14 of them and I podiumed at 15. I was disqualified. One race is the only reason I didn't win that race the most dominant performance I ever had, and it wasn't because I was riding better. My mindset was so strong, because I was super present, because I was so thankful to just be breathing and living, that everything was a gift. Every moment was a gift. Through success and through failure, every moment was a gift. Every moment was a gift, through success and through failure. Every moment was a gift, and I learn so much more through failure than I do success. I personally learn almost nothing through success. I always become better when I fail and it's through self-awareness.
Speaker 2:What caused that failure? This is what caused that failure. Okay, what do I need to do differently to succeed and to not allow that to happen again? Because at least in snowboarding and I think it's similar in a lot of aspects I have a plan and as soon as I start, that plan goes out the fucking window. It's how well am I able to adapt to the things that are going wrong and how quickly I can adapt and use these different tools that I have through training to adapt to that situation, because nothing ever goes right. One of my favorite quotes two favorite quotes is everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face, and the other one is a quote from Nicky Lauder. Which is more powerful? The fear of death is the will to win, and that's kind of just how I live my life. It's I'm willing to win, and at the cost of death. Not always the healthiest, but it's just the way.
Speaker 1:I am Like.
Speaker 2:I want to lay on my deathbed one day saying I shouldn't have done that. Then I should have done that. I want no regrets. There's nothing in life as of right now that I regret doing. It's not because I did the right things, it's because I learned from the wrong. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:It does Absolutely, and that's a mentality that's shared across the board for high performers, athletes, special operators, our conventional military companions. When you're that focused on your mission and you don't have any other alternative but to succeed, that opens up that aperture to see what you need to correct, see what you need to do in order to get there. The person that's saying, well, I'll get there eventually, that's not the right mentality for certain fields. Like I get it that some people like that lax life out, but the people that are willing to push the envelope at all costs to get to the finish line, to get to that high echelon of service, like that's shared across the board, man, yeah. And especially like all of us.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of us suffer from uh, I'm looking for the term. It's like not being good enough or imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:Yes, I never feel like I'm good enough.
Speaker 2:I never feel like my say or what I'm thinking is enough or correct. We all have something to offer, Like, no like.
Speaker 1:I've never met a soft guy, like even the people I looked up to, the people that I thought were like this motherfucker, this is the like, the template for this career field, this is the template for a green brain. You sit down and you talk to them and they share that man. Like I don't know what the fuck I was doing when I did that. Like I I I honestly don't even think like I belong in this, in this career. Man, like I'm just putting it together every day and I'm like are you serious? Like you're, you're the will tell you like, yeah, man, like I still feel like I need to earn it and I still feel like I'm not quite there yet. It's that harsh critic, that self-assessment, that kicks in. Like all right, you still need to fucking hone Anybody that walks in with that false bravado of like I'm the greatest thing on earth and like, and you're really not. Like you're really not. And everybody around you will soon find out. It's the humble athlete.
Speaker 2:No one's going to be harder on you than yourself and I think there's a healthy balance of that. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's more than happy and it's healthy to be hard on yourself. But take those little wins. Those wins are worth something.
Speaker 2:Accept those little wins, whether it's something small. I'm a very goal-driven person. I have short-term, medium and long-term goals and those long-term goals take forever. But, to be 100% honest and open, my Olympic experience was not nearly what I put it up to be. I thought the Olympics was going to be this grand spectacle that I was going to walk opening ceremonies and I was going to cry that I finally made it. It was the lowest point in my life, was the highest point in my life and I can't explain it. I walked into opening ceremonies. I'm like this is it. This is what I've worked 23 years of my life for. This is just another day, like there's nothing special about this, not getting a medal and not performing for the way I was.
Speaker 2:I look back saying I should have enjoyed the journey a lot more. I guess that's something I do regret is not enjoying the journey. The journey is way longer than the end result and you have to enjoy those journeys because those memories are going to stick to you forever. That win, those wins you get yeah, you remember them to stick to you forever. That win, those wins you get yeah, you remember them, but you spent, let's say, five years to get that one win. Everyone sees the highs, no one sees the lows and there's a lot more lows than there'll ever be highs. Yeah, and I just wish I enjoyed the ride Like yeah, I guess that's my one regret in my life is not enjoying the entire process. Enjoying the entire process because the entire process is 21 years for me. For one day of my life it's, it's. It wasn't everything I made it to be and I'm so happy and I love that I was able to accomplish it. But, looking back, I should enjoy the process a lot more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the journey, not the destination, and so many of us need to learn that lesson. Just be, understand that there's a beauty in the process of building up to that thing, that, whether it's you're trying to go to selection or you're trying to go do something great, you're trying to prepare for that amazing hunt Like dude. Enjoy that workout, enjoy that run, enjoy that preparation, the planning stage, every aspect. You're going to come back to it, that, that journey, that trip across Patagonia, whatever it is that you're planning. Like, yeah, it's going to be beautiful, it's going to be great, but it's short lived, that's only going to be.
Speaker 1:You're going to spend a year training for something, or two years planning something and you execute it and maybe it's only four days long. What are you going to remember at the end? You have some pictures of the event, but you're going to have to fall in love with the process of getting there. You have to fall in love with the 4am wake ups, the swims, the fucking rucks, the runs in the morning, the meeting up with your friends to do that workout at the gym, like. You have to fall in love with that process and cherish it. Because I will tell you right now, like when you're on the backside of your career, when you're on, the sun's already set on it.
Speaker 1:You're going to look back and you're going to see like blips of deployments, blips of little trips here and there. But the things that you're going to end up cherishing are the team room moments, the horrible training in the rain, all those moments like meeting up with a friend to go on a hiking trip. Like those are the things that you really need to understand. It's like that journey means more to you than the five days or four days of actually executing that event. Again, you have great pictures of what you end up doing or planning for, but, dude, you're gonna cherish the memories of getting there. You're gonna look back and be like fuck man, I wish I would've taken more pictures of that trade-up. I wish I would've done more to remember all the things I did. That's life. That's in those moments where people are like man, I wish I would known. Like that moment's gonna matter. Trust me, whatever you're doing right now in a training event, in preparation for something, that's what you're gonna want pictures of.
Speaker 2:So pause, reflect on that like that's life that you're missing out on life, yeah, life is beautiful and it's hard. Living is hard, it's not easy. Um, I've been thankful and try to cherish every day because it's. It's beautiful I mean, there's nothing else like living and it's very fleeting. It's not long yeah, so no, it's not every moment, the highs and the lows, like some of my darkest days. The days after were some of my best days, yeah, like and then you go through.
Speaker 1:You go through the olympics, you go through what none of us, like a vast majority of us, will never know what it's like to go through that ceremony. You have that moment, but how does that turn into going into racing cars? How does that turn into the next sport?
Speaker 2:yeah so. So for me, when I retired snowboarding I didn't do anything for a year after I retired. And I retired about three years after the Olympics the last Olympics I tried for one more, just because I was good. I was still good, I was still performing well, but I hated the process. I hated going to training. I was going through the motions. I just prolonged my career because everyone around me said I should and I ended up.
Speaker 2:There was some not so good things happening in the US snowboarding community. There was some lawsuits and some things happened. I got pretty screwed over, but I was like you know what? I want to go do something else. So while I was doing that, I started racing. I had a manager that kind of helped me, guide me into the racing field and for me, I looked at another sport that I wasn't good at.
Speaker 2:I found that through snowboarding and through racing cars, that the biggest thing I enjoy is bettering myself. It is accepting the fact that I'm really bad at something and the journey to get better. Like whether it's like I try to play golf two or three times a week, it's because I suck, and I enjoy working on something to become better and better myself, and one it's because I enjoy it and two because it helps my mental state to always be trying to better myself and work on stuff, to mentally stimulate myself and working on a process. And then now I really enjoy the journey. I focus on the journey and racing. I mean, who doesn't want to drive a race car? Also, I've been very fortunate that I've been able to drive some incredible cars and drive fast. But my body was beat up. I've had 15 surgeries, multiple broken bones and with age comes cage.
Speaker 2:Now I get to sit in a race car and drive. I'm sitting outside the gym right now about to. As soon as I know, this will work out, but I just love the process of getting better and I just I luckily had some sponsors and some partners that stayed with me and I was able to go racing. And now I'm racing cars. I'm driving for AF Corsa Ferrari, which, growing up to me, I always loved sports car racing. And when you think of racing, what do you think of? You think of Ferrari 100%.
Speaker 2:So luckily, I've been very fortunate that I'm driving a Ferrari now and I just love every moment of it. I'm very thankful, very appreciative and very appreciative of the people that support me to get to where I am. Without the people around me, I couldn't accomplish this at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, it's just amazing.
Speaker 1:It's definitely awesome to see you freaking, handling those machines on a course, but to think like, just to think, how far you've come in your process and where you're at now in life man, like from a flight for life, not being certain that you were going to see the next day to now being, you know, a race car driver man, Is that, is that something like? Is it lost on you? Or is it like you wake up and you're like, holy shit, Like I am. I'm so thankful I am here and I get to do this.
Speaker 2:It definitely gets lost on me when I'm in the moment, but then when I gets lost on me when I'm in the moment, but then when I, when I'm in my dark moments, is when I actually see it more, when I am alone, depressed. I'm in those dark moments. I look at my life and I'm like what do I have to be depressed about? Like what right do I have to be sad about something when I'm so fortunate and thankful for these things around me, and whether it's racing cars or just my family and my friends, like they love me for who I am, and I have to have to be appreciative of the small things I mean as much as I'm appreciative that I to do this, sorry as much as I get to drive these race.
Speaker 2:I get to do this. I'm thankful for everything a good meal, uh, hanging out with my dog, spending time with family but the cherry on the top is driving the race cars. I mean, I can't undersell, I can't undersell that. But yeah, very, very, very, very thankful. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So what's next for you on the horizon, man? What's the next big race coming up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I have mid Ohio. It's a race in Ohio. Um, that'll be about in two or about a month and a half. Uh, we'll do some testing in between. I'm going to test with another team, um, and yeah, just just keep keep chipping away.
Speaker 2:Right now I'm in like a weird position where I'm not quite the top guy but I'm not the bottom guy. I'm like really much just a dependable guy where you know, if you put me in a race car, you're gonna get consistent speed and you're gonna to get consistent results. But in racing, which may be similar to a lot of sports, the last two tenths of time could take years. It is the hardest thing in the world. Finding those big leaps of those. One second, two seconds are pretty easy, but the last little bit to compete with the top guys takes forever. Because if you think about it in racing, let's say we have a track with 12 corners, right, and I'm two tenths slower than the fastest guy. 12 corners, two tenths, that's a half of a 10 per corner, you know it's so that's millimeters of braking or millimeters of going back to power. It's such a small thing and that's what I'm working on, right, it's finding in the data those little tiny metrics that can make me better and it's really, really hard.
Speaker 2:So, training in the gym, cutting weight so I've always been a big guy. When I was snowboarding, I was 6'1", 260 pounds. At 12% body fat, I was a big snowboarder. For snowboard racing, I was 30, 40 pounds bigger than everyone else. Now that I've switched careers to racing, every 10 pounds is two-tenths of a second. Oh wow. So I'm at a deficit there. So, cutting weight, changing my diet, working out because not to talk shit on race car drivers, it's not as tedious as they make it be like yeah, my neck, yeah, my neck hurts. Sometimes it gets a little tired, but whether for you guys rocking 13, 14 miles, you're more than capable of driving a race car for two or three hours, it's not that hard I knew they were lying.
Speaker 1:I knew they were lying. I saw the videos, those little italian guys talking about how strenuous it was. Yeah, well, when you're built like a, 13 year old filipino girl.
Speaker 2:It might be hard, but when you're an athletic bigger guy it's not. It's not so tedious. I mean the heat deprivation, the heat can hurt a little bit, yeah, but yeah, I mean they're putting jockeys in race cars and those guys don't have much muscle mass.
Speaker 1:Exactly, you know. You see them smoking their cigarettes and sucking down their lattes. This racing is a performance athlete sport, very hard to do. I must go to the gym all the time, but meanwhile they weigh 120 pounds, so yeah, it's not throwing too much shade like.
Speaker 2:You still need to be in good shape, but let's go look at the nascar cup series. Okay, not, not the peak specimen of male performance. Let's call. Let's call it space bait. I'm gonna get shit for it, but it's just the truth. How dare you, sir? How dare you look at the olympic bobsledders, who were built like brick shithouses? Yeah, and actually it was kind of cool at the 2018 olympics. Um, I think three of the olympic bobsledders were oda guys yeah, nate weber.
Speaker 1:Nate weber was one freaking uh 10th group dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah fucking and it was cool to see, and they're built like brick shithouses. Fucking yoked, fucking the one.
Speaker 2:I don't know there was one dude who was like 6'5". He looked like a walking Coke machine, just a unit, just a unit. But then you think Olympic athletes, you think peak male performance. I was talking to the curlers yeah, the guys who throw the rocks, and the one guy I'm like, oh yeah, hey, hey, hey, foe-wee, foe-wee. I was talking to one of the curlers and he's like I don't know how I'm going to perform. I'm like why he goes. I haven't curled sober in four years, just a funny story, it's just so funny.
Speaker 2:There's such a vast majority of the Olympic athletes. Yeah, there's so many different things. It's kind of like seeing the short, chubby ODA guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, performance athletes come in all shapes and sizes. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And that really goes to. Mindset plays a huge role in performance in anything. In my opinion, the difference between the guy who's really good and the best is his mindset. I believe there's three different types of high-performance athletes or individuals. You have the guys who are naturally gifted that don't have to try hard, which are good. You have the guy who works his ass off, which will actually overcome. The guy who's naturally gifted who doesn't work hard. And then you have the goats. The goats are the dudes who's naturally gifted who doesn't work hard. And then you have the goats. The goats are the dudes who are naturally gifted and work hard. But the guy who works hard will always come closer to the greats than the guy who's naturally gifted and doesn't try.
Speaker 2:There's a guy in snowboard. There's a guy in snowboarding. He's naturally not the most gifted snowboarder, but he's naturally not the most gifted snowboarder but he's one of the most successful snowboarders because he works harder than everyone. He just works his ass off. So that's what's kind of on the docket for me. I know we've kind of bounced around a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the way we do it here in Security Hub, my man.
Speaker 2:For me it's just working on mental, working on mindset. Always, always, even when I'm in a good place mentally or emotionally, it's continuing to work on it. It's something that's always. You're always going to have to evolve. And yeah, we also have a my old team. We have a program that we're working on. It's called Racing for Heroes. So we're trying to get it going where we've started a lot, we've done some donation stuff. We sent a hyperbaric chamber for brain treatment stuff, and then we're trying to get it going where. We want to have it that every you ever seen a race where the guys that jump over the pit wall? We want to have it that every guy that jumps over the pit wall is a combat veteran. We want to have it that every guy that jumps over the pit wall is a combat veteran.
Speaker 1:Oh nice, so it's giving them a job.
Speaker 2:It's giving them a team environment. It's giving them an avenue to a new career field outside of their retired career that brings them back to a team environment and brings it back and as minute as it seems as the guy who jumps over the wall runs around, changes a tire. If that dude fucks up, my race is over. Yeah, who jumps over the wall runs around, changes a tire. If that dude fucks up, my race is over. Like it's such a crucial task and we really want to give back to the veteran community and have give help them find a new career path. And who doesn't love race cars? So that's one of the things we're working on.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm very thankful to the guys that have served Um, a friend, uh, my best friend's younger brother was a uh two, seven five guy. Um did a huge thank you to them at the Olympics. Um, they were deployed during it and just. I'm very thankful to that community because without their sacrifice I wouldn't be, I wouldn't have the luxury to do what I love. And I'm very thankful to that community because without them I couldn't pursue my passion and my love because of the sacrifice they've made for the freedoms that we are given.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and the American people are worth it, man no absolutely it's something that I think we need more programs like what you guys are trying to do, because our combat vets are getting out, they're looking for that, they're looking for those opportunities, and I think that's a fucking badass thing. So, uh, anytime you want to come back and talk about this program, dude, fuck yeah, and if you need people, I I happen to know lots of veterans that would love to participate, so I cannot wait for the list of dudes that we can put into the programs here.
Speaker 1:Just funding yeah, exactly, exactly, man, uh. And then you know, hey, it's, it's something that it's a great cause and something that's worth working for, man, because I know it'll pay off big time. There's a need, and there's, there are people that would jump, uh. But uh, aaron aj musk, if people want to get a hold of you or check you out, where can they go?
Speaker 2:yeah, you can easiest people want to get a hold of you or check you out. Where can they go? Yeah, the easiest way to always get a hold of me is on Instagram. It's just at AJ Muss. Whether it's anyone looking to get into racing, need some guidance on a career path in racing or anything else, please don't hesitate to DM me. I respond to everyone as long as you're appropriate. Don't ask for nudes degenerates, I'll send feet pics for the right price. But, yeah, reach out to me on at aj moss on instagram and yeah, but love to support and help anyone that I can dude, thank you so much for being here today.
Speaker 1:Man, uh, your story is remarkable and I know that it's going to help give people some strength and some you know, some perspective on life. Dude, go after your dreams. You never know when there's going to be something that can happen, a setback, but it doesn't have to be the end. You can recover, you can rebound and you can go chase bigger, more wonderful things. Man, um, thank you for being here, aaron, I cannot, uh, thank you enough, dude. It's your journey's truly fucking remarkable.
Speaker 1:Brother, I can't wait to see where you go next and do all y'all listening. Do me a favor, pause right now. Go to the episode description, click on those links, give us a subscribe, give us a like, a share, a follow, but, even better, leave us a positive review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, because it helps the algorithm, it helps me promote the show and I don't charge you anything. You degenerates. So please help me, and then you continue enjoying this. I'm Danny Caballero. Thank you for tuning in. We'll see you all next time. Until then, take care, thanks for tuning in, and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform If you want to support us. Head on over to buymeacoffeecom forward slash setcoffpodcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram, x or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhawkcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening, the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week.
