Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
Denny Giamazzo: The Realities of Combat, PTSD & Finding Purpose After Service
In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero welcomes Denny Giamazzo, a veteran whose journey from deployment in Afghanistan to post-military life is both inspiring and eye-opening.
Denny shares his unique path into military service, his experiences in combat as part of a Provincial Reconstruction Team (PRT), and the challenges of leadership, resilience, and purpose in high-stakes environments. Beyond the battlefield, he opens up about the mental and emotional struggles of transitioning back to civilian life, the battle with PTSD, and how adversity fuels personal growth.
This episode covers:
✔️ Denny’s journey from an unlikely recruit to military leader
✔️ The realities of combat & serving on a Provincial Reconstruction Team
✔️ The challenges of coming home: PTSD, transition, and finding new purpose
✔️ How storytelling & podcasting became a tool for healing & inspiring others
✔️ Why community & shared experiences matter for veterans
Denny’s raw and unfiltered insights will resonate with veterans, service members, and anyone navigating life’s toughest transitions.
🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube! Don’t forget to follow, like, share, and subscribe to stay updated on veteran resilience, mental health, and leadership beyond the military.
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Social Media Buzz
01:12 Denny's Military Origin Story
10:11 Deployment to Afghanistan: Expectations vs. Reality
13:05 Provincial Reconstruction Team Dynamics
22:09 Combat Experience and Personal Growth
24:44 Reflections on Service and Purpose
28:27 Returning Home: The Aftermath of Deployment
32:12 Navigating Transition: From Military to Civilian Life
36:50 The Struggles of PTSD and Healing
40:36 Overcoming Adversity: The Path to Growth
48:15 Starting a Podcast: Sharing Stories and Building Community
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LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
Follow Denny on LinkedIn and on social media today!
LinkedIn: Denny Giamazzo
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https://www.instagram.com/dennygiamazzo/
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Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go. The only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent. It's hosted by me, danny Caballero. It's decent, it's hosted by me, denny Caballero. Dude, denny, you have been blowing up all over my social media between you and Nick Lavery man Seems like every time I looked at my feed it's either you or Nick, and you guys look so similar I don't know if it's a Boston thing. You guys look like brothers I brothers something.
Speaker 2:And like his director of engagement, who like so I work, I work with nick. Now I'm starting to do like speaking engagements and stuff with him, nice, and uh, yeah, yeah, nick's a great guy man, he's solid, yeah, he's, he's as solid as they come. And uh, basically, he, she, I put up something on instagram and she sent me a text and she's like dude, I had to look at this like three times. She's like I thought you were nick, I thought nick was you and I was like it's a.
Speaker 1:It's not a bad. No, it's not a bad guy to get, compared to no it dude.
Speaker 2:It's funny too, because I've done. I've done speaking events before and I'll be like, yeah, my buddy nick he's. You know we look a little bit alike if you add about 10 inches and, you know, 90 pounds of muscle, like we're twins, right oh man because he's a fucking monster obviously.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, man he's a machine and no, no reason. I mean, that's obviously the moniker he goes by now these days. But dude, enough about Nick, he's on the back burner today. It's all about you. But before we dive into the great things you're doing now, dude, take us all the way back to the beginning, because I love hearing these origin stories Like how did you find yourself in the military man?
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, that's a great question. So basically, what happened was I was never like this big patriotic guy, like I have to go serve. I love my country. You know those things were true, right? I love my country. I've always been proud of, you know, our country and our culture, and I always had a tremendous amount of respect for people who served in law enforcement and all that stuff. So, you know, it was always in the back of my mind like maybe the military could be a possibility for me, but not right now.
Speaker 2:So, essentially, after high school, I went to college. Uh, I did three years of college. I uh basically ran out of money, just couldn't afford to go back for that fourth year. And uh, so I decided I was going to take a year off. And basically during that year off I went and worked at the paint counter at Home Depot and a recruiter walked in. He needed some paint mixed, and so I did that. I mixed some paint for him and we started talking and he started basically flashing all the financial benefits at me. Right, like the hey, we're paying off $20,000 in student loans, which I think I had like 40,000 at the time. Um, we're giving you a $20,000 signing bonus. So I had all these these incentives being thrown at me and I was just like, all right, uh, this has always been on the back burner. It's always been something I've, you know, loosely considered. Um, you know how can I do this? But also, what can I do for a job that's going to get me in Iraq kicking into?
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:That's. I was like, if I'm going to do this, you know I'm not going to be a cook, I'm not going to, you know, you know be, you know chemical specialists or whatever, whatever MOSs there are. And so right away he said you know infantry. Like that's, that's the best way for you to go do that. And so I did zero due diligence, none. I didn't talk to another recruiter, I didn't talk to another branch. And what's funny is, at the time, one of my managers at Home Depot she was in the Navy as a reservist, but she had 20 something years and she was a master chief. And she was like Danny, if you're going to do infantry in the Army, maybe you should be a SEAL iny. Like, if you're gonna do infantry in the army, you know, maybe you should be a seal in the navy. Because she wanted me to go in the navy, because she was in the navy, and so she was like tell me about the seals. And I, again, I did no homework. Yeah, right, um, knowing what I know now, it would have been an easy, easy for her to talk me into it, but I kind of just pushed it aside. It was like like, yeah, but if they're in the Navy. They can't be doing stuff, cool stuff, like what the infantry does, right. And again, it's all on me because I did no homework, no due diligence whatsoever. And, looking back at it, my grandfather was in the Navy and if I had done my homework I would have went in the Navy and tried to be a SEAL or at least would have done some homework and try to do something a little bit harder. Because I ended up in the Guard Massachusetts and man, once you're attached to any type of a unit in the Guard, man, it's tough to leave it. And I tried probably three times to leave the Guard to go active duty. Twice I wanted to be a ranger and I was just like, yeah, I'm going to leave, go active duty. But the first time I tried we had a unit down range in Iraq. I wasn't on the Iraq deployment We'll get into that in a second. But then the second time I tried to leave to go active duty, it was because I couldn't get out of the unit because we had Afghanistan coming up and they needed guys for that and that one didn't bother me as much because I was like, well, if I can't leave, can't go active now I can do it after the deployment and at least I'll have some experience, some combat experience and experience down range if I decide to stay in and go active duty. So backtracking to why I didn't go to Iraq. So I joined in 2006,.
Speaker 2:Joined in May, left for bootcamp or basic in August, graduated basic in December. Just before Christmas, when you finish up, you get your infantry cross rifles. You're that now it's like breakdown week, right, you're cleaning all your equipment, you're turning shit in, uh. So during that week, uh, one of my drill sergeants came in and said hey, you got to go to dental and they're going to pull your wisdom teeth. So I'm like, okay, uh, do I have to? He's like, yes, you have to. So I said okay, so I go to dental, I get my. They said we're going to pull your right wisdom tooth today it was a Friday and we're going to pull the left one on Monday. So we'll give you the weekend to heal, we'll pull the left one on Monday.
Speaker 2:And basically what happened was I got that right one pulled and over the weekend it it got infected terribly, to the point where the infection spread through my entire throat and my neck was out to here. It was like a big bulge and incredibly painful. I couldn't sleep and ultimately I had to go to the hospital to get it looked at. And, you know, come to find out, like if I didn't go to the hospital that um Sunday afternoon, like he's like that infection was spreading quick, your, your airway was closing. He's like you might not have made it through the night, is what the doctor said.
Speaker 2:Um, so, long story short, the doctor says we're going to put, we're going to perform surgery, surgery on you to get you know, get rid of the infection. And he says I'm gonna have to give you a trach. And he's like, asking my permission, can I give you a trach? Get the fuck out of here. And I'm like, dude, just fucking keep me alive. If you have to give me a trach, give me a trach. If you don't, don't, I said, do what you have to do. You guys are the professionals. Like, fuck it.
Speaker 2:Um, so about 12 hours later I wake up and I have just these drains sticking out of my neck, one big one over here, one under here and one over here and there's just infection just draining onto this thing that they have on me like a mat, and my parents are in the room. So I guess they called my mom and they were like, hey, we have your son, it doesn't look good, you need to get on a plane right now and come down now and come down. So both my parents were there, um and yeah. So that was in december and I had already heard through the grapevine that my unit was going to iraq in march. And so I'm all, I'm all ready to go to iraq. I'm like, fuck, I didn't expect it to deploy this.
Speaker 2:What year was this? This was 06, but my unit was getting ready to go in 07 and it was right when the surge was happening. And so, like I'm like, I'm like ready to go in 07, and it was right when the surge was happening. And so I'm like ready to go. You know how it is. You get out of basic training and you're like, let's fucking go. You're 10 feet tall and bulletproof right, and so I'm all ready, I'm good to go, and then this happens, and so I end up reporting to my unit sometime in jeez. So they sent me home for the holidays.
Speaker 2:I had to go back down to Benning to be medically cleared, and I think I was down there for another month, month and a half. So I didn't report to my unit until almost February. And at this point my first sergeant, when I report, when I show up to my unit, he doesn't realize how severe the injury is. And so we're all thinking, myself included, we're thinking that like I'm still going to Iraq Like this is, and myself included, we're thinking that like I'm still going to Iraq Like this is, and I'm like ready to go. And so I'm sitting there, I'm having just this basic conversation with my, my my first Sergeant, and he's getting to know me and asking a lot of questions and whatnot, and he ends up noticing that there's some blood on my shirt where my trach was, and because I had a dressing underneath it and I guess the dressing had shifted and blood had come through and got onto my shirt Remember, we had the tan shirts with the.
Speaker 2:ACUs. And so he's like what the fuck is that? And my birth sergeant is a former Marine recon guy. He's a no bullshit kind of guy. And he's like what the fuck is that? And I'm like, yeah, that's from my trach, I have a bandage on it. And he's like so you still have a fucking hole in your throat. And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, but it's healing up, I feel all right. And he's like you're not fucking going anywhere. He's like these guys go down range next month. He's like you're not going. He's like, if I try to send you, you're not going to get medically cleared and then it's going to be my ass. It's going to be my ass.
Speaker 2:So I was pissed, I was just. I was. I was just really like a beaten down at that point, like I had already been through like this. You know, just physically, mentally, it was like, cause, when I was in basic training, my commanding officer was like I could have got out of the army at that point if I wanted. Yeah, absolutely. It was kind of an option, yeah. So so it was an option to get out of the army. And I was like well, the doctors are saying that you know, I'll heal up, I'll be fine and I was like I just went through all this training and you know, maybe I want to even advance my career past that. So I was just like no, and I stayed in and I was. I still thought I was going to iraq, but uh god, and I guess my first sergeant had other plans dude, a lot of people don't understand that.
Speaker 1:A lot of people initially that never served. They'd say like, oh, wow, you must have felt such a relief, you should have felt like you got saved. And it's like, dude, that's not the reaction you get. I've seen people break down and lose their fucking shit because they miss a rotation. People want to be under the night lights, under a Friday night football game, like we're athletes, like all of us want to play in the big leagues.
Speaker 2:Exactly Like you look at all your training as practice and then it's like it's time to go play the fucking game. You know, and you know, hindsight being 2020, it's kind of good that you know. I got some experience at the unit. I got to meet some of the guys and train with them before Afghanistan, because basic training is what they call it. It's basic, right. There's no unit-level SOPs, there's no take what you like, leave what you don't. It's just, this is what we taught you. Here's some basic skill sets and go apply them.
Speaker 2:But, as you know, you get to a unit and things are very different, and so I. It ended up being good because I had, and it especially ended up being very good because, while the guys were in iraq and even after that, I was advancing my career rapidly. Um, I was volunteering for every school, even fucking like bus driver school. I was going to every school I possibly could, just to kind of let my chain of command know that like, hey, I'm, I'm in this, I want to advance my career, I want to, yeah you're hungry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so I made E5 before. So I was a team leader going into Afghanistan and ahead of guys who had just come back from Iraq not long before. So here I am, no combat experience, no experience downrange, and I'm in a leadership position because of the work that I put in just trying to be better, work that I put in just trying to be better, right. Um. So hindsight, you know missing that iraq deployment and being able to focus and you know, really develop the skill sets necessary was was good for me.
Speaker 1:god's got a plan, man, god's got a plan. Yeah, we lose sight of that so often, even though, like, we say it right now, we acknowledge it right now, in this moment, the next time we get tested, the next time things don't pan out, get get shitty, we get mopey, yeah yeah, absolutely, and that's that's.
Speaker 2:I've kind of adopted that mindset more now. I obviously wasn't thinking that way when I was 23 years old. I'm, you know, I'm full of piss and vinegar at that point, and you know, now it's like I live my life kind of that way. Right, I kind of believe that wherever I am in this point of my life, it's, it's supposed to be this way and it's really on me to kind of dictate what happens next. Dude.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, finally getting into Afghanistan. Man Like that, yeah Must've felt like Superbowl fucking. You know the championship game. You finally made it everything you wanted but what was that like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, so. So we were basically a provincial, we were part of a provincial reconstruction team. So basically what that means is maybe you're familiar, but for your viewers, uh, that's a team full of, like, ca specialists, civil affairs, uh, agricultural specialists, educational specialists, medical experts, and so essentially what would happen is that they would go into this, each village that within our province, we visit village to village within the province, and they would basically assess the needs of that village, talk to the elders, see what's happening, see what engagement is like with the Taliban and if they're okay, and what can we do to help in all those areas that I mentioned, like agriculture, medical and all those things. So essentially, that team did that work and us, as the infantry guys, our job was security. Our job was to secure the villages, make sure everything was good to go, set up perimeters and then obviously secure that exfil as well after their engagement.
Speaker 2:So our mission, our mission, our goal, you know we weren't assigned a kinetic mission, we weren't, you know, jumping out of planes, kicking indoors, Right, we were just secure, we were security element and, uh, we really only fought when, you know, we were attacked first. That was kind of our rules of engagement. Um, I mean, if we saw a threat that with a weapon, somebody with a weapon, things like that, we can engage, but we weren't really on the offense if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:That was what 2010?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was there 2010 to 2011.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a little different. That's that period in time where you're definitely trying to do everything to rebuild and restructure in certain parts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a big hearts and minds campaign at the time right.
Speaker 2:And we were in Ghazni province in eastern Afghanistan. But, yeah, no, that was our mission, that was what we did, and some days were kinetic, some days weren't, but it was cool, because the way a PRT is structured, a provincial reconstructions team is structured, is you have people from all branches, right, you have people from the Navy who are your mechanics and your drivers, and you have people from the Navy doing your radios and things like that, and our commander and senior enlisted were actually SEALs. Oh wow, our commander and senior enlisted were actually SEALs. Oh wow, yeah. So they were pulled out of the SEAL teams to do this almost as like staff work for them, you know. But it was really cool working with those guys and working under them, because we had SEALs on our FOB and because, you know, we had that leadership. You know we had a couple of different teams from like SEAL Team 8 that we worked with.
Speaker 2:That would come out with us, and so sometimes we would go to places that you know other PRTs had never been, because they had faith in us and our ability to work and as infantry guys. And so, yeah, we went to this one village in Ghazni province, wages. That was pretty hot at the time and you know a lot of PRTs and people had kind of avoided that area, but for us that was kind of the spot. We would go to where it was. Like you know, if we go here, this is what we can expect. And any time before we went out on a mission you'd have you know a SIGACS report expect. And anytime before we went out on a mission you'd have you know a sigax report. And so we knew you know where they're where and when there were firefights and ids and rpgs and things like that. So, um, especially coming into the spring, we knew that if we went to waga's, that it was, yeah, it was probably going to be like a fun day for us, right, we'd at least get to do some real infantry shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's the things that we look forward to, and people again have a hard time understanding that You're looking forward towards that. You want that ability to test your might to see if you've got what it takes to do the job. And heat in the moment, training is one thing, but when it and every young man has that moment like fuck man, like just I just want to know that I will operate and perform the way that I think I will yeah, and I just told this story on another podcast.
Speaker 2:We were in wages and my best friend, who's also the co-host of my podcast, was my platoon sergeant at the time. Oh, no shit. Yeah, he was my platoon sergeant at the time, but now he's my best friend and he's a CSM in the Guard. He's a solid dude, but he was my platoon sergeant at the time and my platoon leader was another guy named Mike Good dude. And we're on this mission in Juarez and we decide to do this KLE, this key leader engagement in this village that, to the best of my knowledge, we had never been to before, and so they put me in charge of an Overwatch element. We had a sniper team from a Texas Guard LURSE unit and he put me in charge of this Overwatch position while they went into the village and did our work and all that. So I was so pissed right, I'm like so basically you're leaving me up here to babysit while you guys go and do our job, and whatever, because my job typically on the ground was to establish security. They put a lot of faith in me, even above guys that had outranked me, because they really liked the work that I did on the ground and setting up security and putting guys in the right spot. So they recognized that as like a skillset of mine. So that's typically where I was and I kind of felt good about that and I loved doing it. So they put me in charge of this Overwatch element and I was pissed. And so here we are.
Speaker 2:We're about 40, 45 minutes into the mission and I can't get comms with my buddy Solano's truck who was facing down into the village. But there was some movement on the rooftop, kind of near his vehicle, and I just wanted to let him know that there were people up there and just keep an eye out, make sure his gunner had eyes on, and couldn't get him on the radio. So I start walking towards his vehicle and I get about halfway him on the radio. So I start walking towards his vehicle and I get about halfway there the radio starts to work. I get him and so I turn around. I start walking to my vehicle and I hear boom and I felt it and I just knew it was an RPG right away and so I took a knee I'm in an open position, no cover. So I just took a knee and started scanning, looking for targets and a knee I'm in an open position, no cover. So I just took a knee and started scanning, look at the targets, and and then my position just got lit up. I'm now, I'm in the open, I have no cover, I have rocks hitting me, dirt hitting me. You know all the snaps, all the cracks, um, and I'm just like waiting to get hit. So my instant reactions sprint back to my truck. So I sprint back to my truck, get behind it and, uh, we continue to engage. My sniper sees a couple of guys in the building. He puts a 50 Cal Barrett a couple of rounds into that. My 240 gunner finds some guys. So we're shooting and the whole time they're getting engaged in the village also.
Speaker 2:So that RPG was to initiate a complex ambush on our position as well as their position. And so, yeah, I just I like to tell that story because, man, I was so pissed that day thinking I wasn't going to be able to do my job. And I wasn't, and that was the first time I had ever been shot at. But, like you said, like I didn't think I was going to get that opportunity to be tested, to see you know, to see how I would respond, to see how I would react, to see how I would take charge of that element that I was in charge of Um.
Speaker 2:So I thought it was going to be another missed opportunity, but really it became a very, almost like a defining point in my career, at least on that deployment, because you know my leadership saw that I was able to take and take charge of that element and do a good job and make all the right calls with the right people and my personnel, and so it was pretty cool. Like you said, you want to get tested, you want to know how you're going to react and come to find out. While they were being engaged in the village we did have a guy who just froze, just couldn't function, I guess at one point he just stuck his weapon over the wall and just started shooting. Who knows who's over there? Right, we're moving.
Speaker 1:He went full action hero. You never go full action hero, never, yeah.
Speaker 2:Obviously that's a no-go right.
Speaker 1:You don't do that.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, come to find out it was after I found out, we found found out after an ar that we had a guy who just froze, couldn't, couldn't function, and you don't judge a guy for that, right, you don't know how you're gonna react until you react um, it was shocking to me because he was kind of the guy who talked as if he would have been the guy that would have been unfazed by it. Right, and it's, I guess and I've heard this from other guys, guys and that have more of a background similar to yours, like an sf background, that they've seen it as well um, and you just don't know until you're tested like that. But again, it was nice to be tested that way and it was even better to to understand and find out that I was able to perform in that kind of environment, under that kind of pressure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think every soldier, certainly every infantryman and combat arms service member, wants that and it can be especially difficult for our generation of guys. When you don't get that or when you put too much of an emphasis on it and you leave the military and that that check, that box isn't checked, how do you move forward? How do you understand that, like, hey, you don't have a say in everything. You did your job, you did a really good job, you did great. Maybe you didn't get that combat deployment, especially in the guard. Seen a lot of guard guys that work their ass off. They contribute to their unit, they make rank.
Speaker 2:You never get that super bowl moment, never have that opportunity I have a buddy who did 20 plus years um, had a phenomenal career.
Speaker 1:He doesn't have a cib and I think it bothers him yeah yeah, and it's um, it's important for us to be able to figure out a way to bridge this gap and be able to tell them like hey, man, like you're still a good fucking dude, you're still a great fucking person dude, I even got a buddy now, who's who?
Speaker 2:I've known a very long time. I've known him since we were kids. Who's? Uh, he's a green beret now and I think he's with fifth group but he's, you know, he's a green beret and he's, he think he's with fifth group but he's a green beret and he hasn't deployed yet. He doesn't have a CIB. So he'll be like Danny, you have a CIB. It's like dude, let's back up a second. You're a fucking green beret. I was in the guard. Let's back up. You're still great.
Speaker 2:Getting shot at and returning fire that's the requirements for a CIB. Turning fire that's the requirements for a CIB. It is much harder to be a Green Beret. Let's settle for a sec. But I think he's actually extending for some kind of a thing at some point to get that experience. And I can't imagine especially going through that level of training and with that type of a resume leading up to not, I don't think I would leave the Army. Yeah, I really don't think I would leave the army. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really don't think so. I think I would. I don't think I'd leave the army and I think I'd try to get on absolutely every possible thing I could to you know what I mean like states, I kill something anything.
Speaker 2:Give me anything to shoot at but it's important.
Speaker 1:We're laughing at it right now, but it's like I've have friends are the same way and I'm here to at it right now. But it's like I have friends that are the same way and I'm here to tell you right now, like, hey, dude, like if it didn't pan out, if it didn't materialize and it wasn't part of your journey, then take a knee, reflect. Maybe God's got something greater for you, maybe there's a higher purpose and it's understanding that everything happens for a reason. And if it didn't happen for you, let it go, because it will eat you alive.
Speaker 2:I've seen guys that go down that road and are like just constantly stressing about it. Yeah, and what I would say to those guys is like take pride in the fact that, like you still did something that most people don't do and it's still pretty cool, and be proud of the fact that you would have done it like there is.
Speaker 1:The only thing holding you back was these things that were out of your control. You didn't write up the deployment orders.
Speaker 2:Exactly, you weren't able to like.
Speaker 1:You can't tell the taliban to attack one. Well, some, not all of us yeah yeah I would beg to argue that some of our leadership did some stupid shit WhatsApp threads with the entire Afghan nation coalition forces on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, leaking information yeah.
Speaker 1:But you know we're not in control. When the enemy comes into the, it comes into the fight, and it's one thing. I've seen a lot of guys struggling with is not having their their glory moment Like yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's tough, yeah, and and even like even guys like myself who saw, like a little bit right, I didn't, I wasn't in combat every day over there, it wasn't, like you know, this crazy combat rental deployment, like I said, that wasn't our job, um, but even then that right there that right there, like because they watch TV and movies, they think war is like 90 miles an hour as soon as you get off the sea.
Speaker 1:it's like contact front and it's just fucking missiles everywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is not it Like. So we were the only PRT out there that I knew of, like we were doing like three, four days out and then we'd be home for like three, four days. So, like we're the only one, we were sleeping with the locals, sleeping at the district centers, you know, tenting up with the afghan army, and so we were doing some pretty cool shit, but like it's still, it wasn't like, wasn't like combat every day, like it's. That's not what it? Is, it wasn't being on it's it's, yeah, right, it, it.
Speaker 2:In my opinion, for us it was being on edge and having to be alert and focused, and all that all the time, and that, in and of itself, can be incredibly stressful. Yeah, to be on all the time. I mean, if I'm being perfectly honest, there was one time, man, I was so fucking wiped. We were out for three I think it was three days. We stayed at the district center in Carabao and we're we're driving back home and I'm fucking wiped and I just doze off. I was probably out for about 10 seconds and the truck in front of me got blown up and I'm like shit, like and you know how that is Like you're the truck commander, like you don't sleep, like you don't fall asleep, but I was so fucking wiped in. I don't think I've ever said that out loud before, but that's the truth, man. We were up three days and, again, I might not have been fully sleeping, but I was not fully coherent either.
Speaker 1:I was like yeah, no, and back then deployments were a year 10 months long constantly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we did two months of train up and 10 months, I think, in country.
Speaker 1:Dude, the human body is not meant for that amount of stress.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and that's one of the things like man, I used to the one of the seal teams we worked with the last one. Those guys were fucking awesome and it was like they were there for like four months. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty cool, four months, yeah, but then they're also only home for x. I think they were like four months and then six months off and then, but they were just deploying back way back back, back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were so like I understand it, but like I just remember thinking myself like four months I can do that standing on my head, but could I, could I do that over fucking 12 years? Whatever these guys were doing, probably wouldn't want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah and then you obviously made it back home safe and sound. Um was that the last trip?
Speaker 2:yeah, so that was my one and only uh trip to afghanistan. Um, made it back home. Yeah, uh I I messed my shoulder up over there. I actually had uh shoulder surgery right when I got. I had two shoulder surgeries within a year after being home, but I had a ton of cortisone shots overseas. Oh, join the club baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, they gave me four in my right shoulder, they gave me two in my left and then they gave me two in my right elbow and I'm just like, is it okay? Like should I be taking in this much cortisone? But I remember I went to the aid station. It was we left in end of july, I think mid to end of july and I went to the aid station in like the end of may, beginning of june and the guy was like this is your last cortisone shot. If you come back, you're leaving that day I'm sending you home. It was this air force doctor and, uh, fucking nerds like all right, it all right.
Speaker 1:It's like yes.
Speaker 2:So I got that last cortisone shot and then I was good to go. It hurt like a bitch. By the time we were heading home it was starting to get very painful. Was it a torn labrum? I had a torn labrum, a frayed biceps tendon, a bone spur, and I think I had a slight tear in the rotator cuff, but it wasn't torn. So the whole shoulder was like just needed to be worked on. And uh, the first surgery I had. They fixed all the other stuff, but they didn't shave the bone down enough and so once it healed up it was still like grinding and didn't feel right. So I had to have a second one.
Speaker 2:And the guy who did the second one I said, fucking, I'm not using the VA, I'm using private insurance. So I used this doctor here in Massachusetts who works with the Red Sox Hell yeah. And I was like this guy will fix me. I went into his office and I did one meeting with him. He was in there for like three minutes and just like, yeah, I can fix you, almost like arrogant. Like yeah, I could fix you. And he's almost like arrogant, like yeah, I can fix you, um, we'll schedule you. And he's just like I'm like motherfucker, like that's all you have to say and he like but he was just so confident he's like yeah, so, yeah, you definitely. I don't think you shaved the bone enough. I looked at your x-rays. Uh, we'll schedule you in. How about next week? Yeah, we'll get you scheduled. Nice to meet you. See you later. And he just walked out and I was like that was like three minutes, but he did my surgery and good to go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had. Uh, I did not have the success I was taking. I was taking toward all shots back to back. My last trip, uh, started out in the just one a day, Then it went to like two a day and uh dude, just the worst pain ever, both of my feet.
Speaker 1:I went and had surgeries too and Andrews Institute great fucking hospital Doctor had the same demeanor. His office was like all pro athletes, like pictures and stuff. They were all signed. He's like I'll fix your feet, you'll be running in like fucking two months, it'll be right as rain. Fucking. Both surgeries, both surgeries, both feet. Fucking fucking three years of my life not able to fucking walk without pain, trying to recover after that. So I was like, yeah, I gambled wrong. So not all surgery and all surgeons are equal, especially uh it, uh, you know, in in the the realm of fixing feet and complex injuries. Yeah, dude, it's a gamble, dude, it's a fucking gamble. I always tell people now it's like dude, labrums, absolutely Hip issues. Yeah, they recommend it, but do everything you can before surgery.
Speaker 2:Oh man, absolutely.
Speaker 1:My left one's acting up now and dude my arm's gonna have to fucking fall off prp man, get that prp therapy, that shit and stem cells, you can go to panama. You go to fucking tijuana for that nowadays, like yeah, fucking legit. Like one thing that I've noticed too with our national guard brothers. So we always talk about transition issues with our active duty guys because it's such a jarring you know moment in time you're leaving what you know, but in our National Guard, like you have to like manage your civilian career while managing your professional military career, so you have to figure things out at the same time. So every at the end of every drill weekend is a mini transition. If you're not in the right job, if you're not in the right place, at the end of every drill weekend is a mini transition. If you're not in the right job, if you're not in the right place, like what careers, what industries were you going into throughout your time in the guard?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good question. I mean I spent I spent probably the last three, three and a half, four years actually on orders from the guard, whether it was some kind of like activity orders helping out with recruiting, helping out with just readiness stuff at the unit or going to schools or whatever. I was pretty much on orders. And then I had a deployment and then after that I had surgery. So I was I, they kept me on orders when I was, when I had surgery, for a year and a half afterwards. So I mean I was on orders for a long time.
Speaker 2:But you know that for me coming back from Afghanistan for me was so hard and it was multifaceted, right, because I had the shoulder issue. I wasn't coming home to a career because my orders were up, I wasn't coming back to guard orders and I didn't have a job lined up. So I had uncertainty everywhere and then, on top of that, man, I wasn't coming back to guard orders and I didn't have a job lined up. Um, so I was uncertain, I had uncertainty everywhere and then, on top of that man, I was struggling. It's just what I didn't think was PTSD, was, was PTSD and it you know, I say it all the time, like getting shot after me wasn't difficult, it didn't bother me, uh. But you know, seeing seeing Afghan army soldiers that had been blown up and seeing their bodies and in pieces and things like that, like that, that kind of shit fucked with me for a while, um, but I didn't think. For several months after I got home I didn't think I had PTSD, I just thought I was having issues adjusting and you know I knew I had like, uh, issues mentally associated with not having a career lined up and I started to feel that. And then the physical part of the surgeries and everything just compounded at that time just felt like it was just a waterfall on top of me and so I drank, I drank heavily, for I always say six to eight months, but more like eight months, of just drinking every day to combat one issue or another. And I like to say I used to have these Bacardi and Diet Cokes. And then my ex-wife, my wife at the time, she would walk around the corner and I would go in the freezer and sneak a shot of Patron or vodka, whatever.
Speaker 2:But it was a very difficult year plus for me after getting home and it took me being forced into therapy and going to the vet center and talking to somebody to be like all right, fine, you know, I remember I sat down with the therapist you know it was like our second or third session and I was like I don't have PTSD. Like therapist, it was like our second or third session and I was like I don't have PTSD, I don't. And so there was one day I show up and so at this point I had unpacked my childhood traumas, I had unpacked all the shit that I went through growing up, as well as the military, so she knew everything. So I show up for like the fourth, maybe it was the fifth session, I don't remember. But she had like a three or four page document just outlined all these different criteria as to why I do have PTSD. And she's like not only do you have it, you are going to bring this document to the VA and you're going to file for it. And I was like no, I'm not Smart woman. Oh, she is, she was the best.
Speaker 2:I was so pissed when she left the vet center, but yeah, she was, she was great. And she was like you're bringing this to the VA, they're going to give you, you're going to get compensated for this and I was like all right, if you say so, and I took her orders and I ran with it and you know, thanks to her, you know, and my ex-wife for making me go, um, you know, I finally got back on track, but it it took me a couple years. It took me two, three years to to start to feel like normal again, right, um, and then, just over several years, it's still just, it's. It's a struggle some days. Yeah, you know it's a journey, man.
Speaker 2:It's a journey. It's a journey, man, it's a journey. You want to be normal, you want to feel normal, you want to act normal, you want to tell people you're normal. But it's tough and life is just hard, and I don't care who you are. That shit doesn't go away. You might find better ways to manage it, like I have, but it's fucking hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the best way to put it, but life's meant to be hard. That's the thing that we have to realize. It's meant to be difficult. Yeah, we don't want a life that's just pure comfort. That's what fucks us up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I say that all the time. I say why do you deserve an easy life? Why does this guy over here deserve a shitty life and a very difficult life? But you don't deserve any adversity.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, yeah, you don't deserve any challenges.
Speaker 2:I mean, let's be realistic here, like if this guy has to experience all this, why don't you deserve at least a fraction of that right? So let's be realistic and understand that life's hard and it's meant to be hard, like you said, and you don't deserve anything other than that. You deserve to put your head down and develop the mentality and the skillset required to overcome those things and make yourself a better person as a result of it.
Speaker 1:I mean, we look back at everything that we've done in our life and realize that, you know, we've been through difficult times and often enough it was the adversity that brought out the best in us. It was the adversity that allowed us to be happy. Some of the greatest moments in my military career and in life have been in dealing with something incredibly difficult. I look back at all the fond moments in selection, where I met some of my closest friends, where you're just sucking or you're just miserable and, like you know, you think back to some of the training and some of the deployments. And and you think back in the moments where your smile, where you look at your pictures, where you look at the that's the one thing I want everybody to take away from.
Speaker 1:Go look at your deployment pictures. Go look at the that's the one thing I want everybody to take away from. Go look at your deployment pictures. Go look at your train up pictures and look how big that fucking smile on your face is. And it's probably after doing some of the most hellacious, horrible things on earth. But you're happy. You're happy because you're alive. If they could take pictures of everybody after seer, you'd see the happiest fucking people on earth because you just made it through something fucking difficult.
Speaker 1:And I'm not saying every day has to be seer school, but, man, you know you go through rough things, you. You lose a client, you don't get that promotion, your car breaks down, pause. Understand that, yeah, this is a shitty event. Be willing to laugh with it. Be willing to smile at it and say, man, I wasn't expecting this today, but I'm going to fucking make it through it. It's hard to do that, but I challenge everybody to try it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. And you know, in addition to like, you know, not only do you not deserve an easy life like I try to think about it in the, you know, not only do you not deserve an easy life like I try to think about it in the, you know, in the sense of I can't imagine what the type of person I would be if I grew up easy, entitled. You know, my parents paid for my school, my law school, and you know, here I am and you know, feeling like I didn't really earn anything. But then, like, what type of man would I be? Like, what type of values would I have? I could I, I would probably be an arrogant, fucking asshole that nobody would want to be around. Um, but I learned a lot of valuable lessons, being brought up in a, in a tumultuous situation, uh, with abuse, neglect and all these things that like, if I hadn't experienced that I, it scares me to think like, maybe the person I might be if I didn't have, you know, the upbringing I had and that's enough.
Speaker 1:that's probably just another way to look at it is, you know, these things shape you into, to what you become dude 100 and then to touch on that man, like I can imagine, like you didn't have an easy life and, honestly, the reason why you've achieved so much in life is not because you endured. That's not like we we often tell ourselves that we've. If you've gone through abuse, you give that power, we give it power and say, oh, it's because of this. No, but it allowed you to go through that post-traumatic growth. It allowed you to say, like I've, I've seen the worst of the worst. I've experienced a lot of darkness in my life. I want to achieve some greatness. I want to do something of of meaning, of worth, and be able to give back to this larger and greater community. And I feel like shit.
Speaker 2:That's kind of like where you're at now yeah, I, I feel like throughout my life there's been these different phases of like.
Speaker 2:You know, I always told myself as a kid like I'm gonna separate myself from my mother, who was a drug addict, my uncle, who was a drug addict, my grandfather was an alcoholic, like the people that hurt me as a kid, like I'm gonna be way better than all of them, like they can't touch the shit that I'm about to do, and so that that's what I always told myself.
Speaker 2:So, you know, being the only college graduate in my family was a goal of mine, and so I did that. And then, you know, being a combat veteran, I did that. And then, like getting a, getting a job at Oracle, one of the top technology companies in the world, and being selected for president's club as a top achiever, that shit, none of that shit was supposed to happen with my background, but I just always told myself like and it was such a simple thing that I said to myself be better than your family. And that doesn't include my aunt and my other people who raised me, because they're phenomenal, but I wanted to make sure that there was a huge degree of separation from me and the people that caused me pain yeah, that's something that so many of us have experienced in our own lives and that's honestly one of the defining reasons why a lot of us joined the military.
Speaker 1:That's like a big shiny beacon of like well, I got shit to my name and I'm running out of credit cards, so, yeah, I'm going to enlist. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's why I do it. I kicked myself in the ass because, you know, I I ended up in a guard unit and you, you can't look back and have regrets, so I definitely don't. But man, I just feel like I was capable of so much more. Yeah, um, but then again there's there's that thing you don't question. Yeah right, it's supposed to happen, how it's supposed to happen exactly every everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1:I started out in the guard and it was incredibly difficult to get out of. I had to drive like three hours away to find an active recruiter that would do it. I I was in colorado. I ended up entering the military the active duty military in tennessee, because that's like the only fucking place I could find. Wow, yeah, and that was just my fucking path. That's just the realize like I'm running out of time.
Speaker 1:I saw this deployment thing. I remember just thinking like these deployments are going to go away someday. Like little did I know it was going to be a 20-year war. You always had this idea like I'm going to miss out on something. And I wasn't getting anywhere in life. Everybody my age was moving further in life. They were getting ahead, they were able to finish college. I was the same boat. I didn't have like the ability to just have a, you know, a endless bank account to continue going to fucking college and paying for. It's like and surprise, surprise guard, they pay for school but you gotta fucking pay up front first. And that's the one thing that I was like dude, I gotta pay the money up front and then they re reimburse me and they fuck this dude. Oh, did they?
Speaker 1:yeah, colorado, I had to I had to pay that money first and then wait for that check to come in from the state.
Speaker 2:I'm like dude, fuck this, oh damn I didn't know that, because in massachusetts I, when I finished my degree, it was after afghanistan. Yeah, when I finished they, they just paid the school, I didn't have to worry about it. Yeah, um, but man, I, I wouldn't have had the money to do that it was fucking, it was.
Speaker 1:It was the dumbest thing. Just, I felt like I was working 150 and just getting nowhere in life and I saw everybody around me just being happy getting drunk on the weekend. So I'm like dude, like, yeah, I want to survive, I want to be able to like live. And I'm like dude, this is barely surviving. Fuck this like, and you know this. Like you go in your guard drill week and it's the best time ever. You're surrounded by people that want to achieve shit and those are all your friends, those are your great friends. But then you go back home and you're living in a fucking like no shit.
Speaker 1:At that moment, right before I went active duty, I'm living in a sort of like halfway house. That like I'm living in a basement level. This home, the two guys that are renting the upstairs I just got released from prison and they're trying to put their lives back together. And I'm like like dude, this cannot be my life right now. And we're like, we're all like celebrating little wins and I'm like, dude, you guys get out of the prison. Like, yeah, man, just try to get these jobs and stay clean and sober. I'm like dude, what the fuck am I doing my life. I just remember like I'm like dude, I hope you guys make it, I hope you stay sober and I hope you succeed in life, but I'm fucking leaving. I remember, like the last day, like I didn't even say shit to my landlord, I just put my last month's rent and like stuffed it in dollar bills and slid it underneath his door. I'm like dude, here's the money I'm. I'm fucking driving tennessee because I'm going active.
Speaker 2:Dude, like fuck this, like love it now did you go right into x18 x-ray con no I went, uh, the 82nd man.
Speaker 1:I went active duty infantry but I was, uh, I was originally slotted to go to fort hood because I didn't have, um, airborne orders. I was just supposed to go regular boot infantry and, uh, I will never forget this dude drill sergeant peg use and the other drill sergeants. They, uh, they drove me straight to airborne school and they're like wait here, we're gonna make sure you get a slot. I, I was a walk on, they didn't know me, they didn't owe me shit, and that's great. I won the forget the senior drill instructor. He pinned my wings on it.
Speaker 1:I didn't have fucking family to go there for me, but that's like the first understanding that I'm like. I knew that I was on the right path because of the kindness of these individuals never experienced that dude. Motherfuckers would just assume fucking watch you die in the middle of the street in in the regular civilian world. I went active duty and I met. As long as you were willing to work, as long as you were willing to put in the effort, you didn't quit. Yeah, motherfuckers were willing to help you out, like always, always always yeah, it, you and it.
Speaker 2:That's the thing that separates the military from everything else. It's like you go to like I went to the corporate structure, like I said, it worked for large software companies and those motherfuckers will stab you in the back as quick as they can if it'll benefit them. But you go in the military. I mean your buddy man. He'll give you his last ten dollars, yeah, like every, every. He won't even think about it. No, it's just a different level of brotherhood and overall just commitment to one another. It's wild to experience it and it's funny. You said that too, because we were told in basic training if you're one of the top three guys for PT in your platoon, you're going to go to airborne school.
Speaker 2:And I was probably going gonna go to airborne school and I was probably gonna go to airborne school. They hadn't announced like yet. But I was literally, I think, the top one or two in my platoon for for pt, so I was pretty sure I was going to airborne school. And then the fucking throat shit. So, man, it was like, but you were alive, yeah, but I was alive, yeah, it was alive. It's like one kick in the nuts after another, but at the same time I was alive. So, uh, yeah, it's just man, you like you look back at that shit, it's wild.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, but tell me about your podcast, man, and what got you started into this idea of entering this world yeah, no, that's, that's great question.
Speaker 2:I uh funny man because for years I followed guys like Jocko and Nick and I just loved the content that they put out and they're sharing their story. It's impacting people, and so those are. I'll be honest, those were the two biggest influences for me with those two guys. But I remember thinking to myself if I'm going to share my story, I don't know how to go about doing it. Initially, the thought in my head popped up like write a book. Write a book and you'll share your story, but who am I going to sell a fucking book to?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I have no following. I had 600 followers on Instagram at the time and so I decided you know, let's do a podcast, let's turn my story into a discussion about growth and overcoming hard things and embracing hard things and let's turn it into something more. And we came up with me and my buddy, mike, who is a CSM in the guard. Now he actually I got to give him credit he came up with the name Be the Standard. So we just decided to. I decided that I wanted to do a podcast and I didn't want to do it alone, and I made Mike, do it with me.
Speaker 1:That's what best friends do man.
Speaker 2:Well, we had already had so many of these discussions. He knew my story inside and out, he knew everything about me and we had had all these growth discussions for years. Right, we had been having these conversations for five, six, seven years, for years, right, we've been having these conversations for five, six, seven years. And I knew that if I was going to do a podcast and have those types of things be the focal point, he was the guy that needed to do it with me. And so I brought him along and grateful that he embraced it and came along with me. But that's how we got into the podcast world. Man, it was a thought. And then I was like, fuck it, we're just going to do it. And then, yeah, it was pretty cool man, I got to. I met Jocko at the army Navy game last year super cool guy. And then, uh, you know, now I work with Nick. It's, it's, it's unreal, it's, it's just an unreal. How, like you know, a little bit of action, a little bit of movement, a little bit of belief in yourself, a lot of things can happen in a shorter period of time than what you would expect. So I'm grateful for that, building the platform and, yeah, I went from 600 followers to like 50 something thousand in a year. That's awesome, dude. It was crazy. It's been crazy. And that's how I got into speaking engagements and the book's still there. I'm writing it. I should be hopefully finished writing it by the end of the month and, uh, hopefully publish it. I want to put my goal is to publish it on veterans day this year. Um, so that's that's the goal there. And again, yeah, just speaking engagements, the podcast and it's it's been a wild ride. I just got invited on Urban Valor out in the guys out in San Diego. I recorded with him over last weekend. He's got a pretty good following. Oh yeah, and Soft White Underbelly I've recorded with them as well in LA. So I got a couple of big ones coming out and I'm excited for that and nervous for that. But yeah, it's been awesome. It's been awesome.
Speaker 2:Man, you, you, you know a lot of things that just are are just a vision and a wish right At the time, or a dream, if you want to call it that. They, they for me, they've, they've become reality over the last 12 months, not even, not even 12 months. I aired my first episode on the podcast February 6th of last year so it hasn't even been a year and I've seen a lot of growth and just the network of people that I've met, like Nick, like Trevor, all these guys that are just high value, high performing, just quality people and I'm grateful for that, because that's been the best part for me and it's been the biggest thing to help kind of keep me on track and keep me square with myself is knowing that I got this team of high performers that you know they don't want to see me fuck it up and I don't want to feel like I let them down, kind of thing. Um, so it's, it's a different brotherhood but it's, but it's pretty cool dude.
Speaker 1:That's. That's the one thing that we have to do find our people, find our tribe and being able to work with them even fucking better. Dude, like that's a dream. Right there, man, you got your own ODA, your own fire team. That's a potent fucking form Like that's success. That right there is ensured success. Bring good people on, have a good team and go crush fucking team. Go crush things. Be out there. Live life. Danny, I can't thank you enough for your time and coming here today. What's?
Speaker 2:the name of the show and where can we find it? Yeah, so my podcast is called Be the Standard. You can find it on YouTube and Spotify. It will be on Apple soon. Also, find me on social media Be the Standard Podcast on Instagram as well as LinkedIn and Facebook. So, yeah, I don't do much on Facebook. Mostly Instagram is kind of where I see my following and LinkedIn as well. Pretty, do we do pretty well on LinkedIn. So you find me, it'd be the standard podcast as well as just me, danny Jamazo.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, man, dude, absolute pleasure. I can't wait to have it back, have you back on the show so we can talk childhood stuff, because, dude, like we could talk for another four hours man, but uh, yeah, man, absolute pleasure.
Speaker 2:You say when man, I'd love to, I'd love to chop it up with you, with that stuff too, because I think it's important. It's important to hit on that stuff because it's incredible and I just said this on soft wet underbelly it is so amazing how those childhood traumas and different things good or bad, right, those things follow you into adulthood and you know, fucking, fuck you up, dude, but it's, it's such a great thing when you finally work through it and you heal and it's no longer something you carry on your back, man, and uh, yeah, we gotta, we gotta run it back.
Speaker 1:Have you back here talk about that, my man, absolutely that gym because, uh, it's a new year and everybody out there this is recorded. It's a Friday Quitter's Friday, as they call it and if you haven't joined our Whoop team, get on our DMs on Instagram. Join our Whoop team, because we're going to keep you in the straight and honest path. We're going to keep you engaged for this. Everybody wants to go into new year looking better, feeling better. So if you gave up already, it's okay. Take a knee, drink some water, re-engage, join our whoop team. We'll keep you honest and then we'll make you join our 75 semi-hard challenge and then we'll be doing 75 hard for the entire year. It sounds miserable, but when you do miserable things with a group of people, it's actually kind of fun. So, denny, again, thank you for being here. Shout out to our season seven sponsor Gilding House Woodwork. If you need some memorabilia stuff made out of any of your retirement plaque needs, check out our guy. His info is on our episode description. Hit him up on Instagram and use our code security halt for a fine, distinguished discount. Denny, thank you for being here again and we'll see you all next time. So then, take care.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom. Forward slash setcoffpodcast. Buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram, x or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhawkcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening, the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week.
