Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
How Veterans & Athletes Can Find Purpose After Service – Nate Boyer & MVP
In this inspiring episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Nate Boyer, a former Green Beret, NFL player, and filmmaker, to discuss the power of storytelling, resilience, and community.
Nate shares his personal journey from the military to professional football and the film industry, reflecting on the challenges of finding balance, purpose, and identity after service. The conversation explores how authentic storytelling can inspire change, create deeper connections, and help veterans and civilians alike navigate life’s obstacles with positivity and resilience.
The discussion also highlights Merging Vets and Players (MVP)—an initiative that helps veterans and athletes transition to civilian life by providing mentorship, camaraderie, and a renewed sense of purpose. Nate and Deny discuss the importance of taking action, embracing personal growth, and trusting the process of life’s journey.
Whether you're a veteran, athlete, storyteller, or someone seeking inspiration, this episode delivers powerful insights on leadership, mental health, and the impact of community support.
🎧 Tune in now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube—and don’t forget to follow, like, share, and subscribe to stay connected with future episodes!
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Chapters
00:00 Navigating Life's Complexities
06:04 Reflections on Personal Growth and Identity
12:01 The Journey into Storytelling and Filmmaking
18:02 The Ripple Effect of Impactful Stories
24:48 The Search for Balance and Home
30:40 Struggles with Faith and Spirituality
37:15 Merging Vets and Players: Finding Purpose
44:03 Taking Action and Building a New Life
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Website: nateboyer.org
Website: vetsandplayers.org
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Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go. The only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent and it's hosted by me, Danny Caballero, Nate Boyer welcome. How's it going, man? It's all right. Man, how are you doing? Doing well, Ready for some rest and recuperation? It feels like I can hardly get a day off Good.
Speaker 2:Good, what's been going on?
Speaker 1:Oh man, it's one thing to start a podcast. It's another thing to start a podcast. It's another thing to launch your own production company and then it's a whole different thing to try to manage everybody else's shows on top of your own.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah, it's funny, it's wild. Yeah, man, it's an all hands on deck situation here at Security Hall. But that's the environment we thrive in man, the complex, the unknown and the ridiculously rewarding. So I'm happy and finding myself floating these days. Man, what about yourself? You got a lot going on in your plate as well, too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely it's been a wild, definitely been a wild time. I've been working on a D-Day 80th anniversary documentary right now oh wow, which is pretty cool and so I was out in Normandy in June and then since then, just been working on that and a few other things. You know, I have MVP, which stands for emerging vets and players. It's a nonprofit, brings together combat vets and former pro athletes and you know, we made a film a few years back, um came out in 22 and uh, so, working towards making more of those like that's, that's really what I want to do, I want to make, I'll make more movies, tell more stories, um, but other than that, uh, you know, just trying to navigate, uh, a few personal things. You know I had a uh to be completely transparent. You know I had a uh to be completely transparent. You know I I've, uh, I recently had, you know, a good she's a good friend of mine.
Speaker 2:Now we were in a relationship for, you know, for several years she lost her mom and um, you know, and that's that was really that was. It's incredibly hard on her. I don't, I can't imagine. You know, mom was pretty young and it was very sudden and um, you know. So going out there to to try to be with them and support them, and it's like around the holidays and you know, you have these stages and phases in life, I think, where you know you, you kind of get pulled back to what matters family and love and people that matter to you.
Speaker 2:Not that making a d-day documentary doesn't matter, like it does. At the same time, it's not it's not my personal, it's not a, you know, a personal life thing. It's a personal exactly and it's meaningful. Um, so, yeah, you start to like you know, and then you're in your 40s and you're like contemplating not just mortality but just like you know the next 40 years, if you're so lucky to get those, like, what are you going to do? How are you going to live? And so I'm kind of in that space right now and and uh, just trying to just reevaluating. You know, really, what my day-to-day focus is and and I am and who I want to be and how I want to be a better man and uh, and uh, just a better citizen.
Speaker 1:Community member, you know so it, um, we can get so caught up on our day-to-day endeavors, what we're trying to achieve, what we're trying to like.
Speaker 1:We're constantly trying to improve our firebase, and that's what's like something that's been like hammered into us that we stop.
Speaker 1:We don't stop to like, focus on, like, what really matters, and nothing will do that more than expecting a kid, because I'm in the same boat. I already got my first kid on the way and everything that I was focused on all these mile markers and the whiteboard of planning in my office immediately went like none of this fucking matters. Like what am I going to do to ensure this little life that I'm bringing into this world is going to like flourish, they're going to thrive, they're going to have every opportunity that I didn't have and that helps you like put a lot of focus on what truly matters, and it's just that, just that family. Like what can I do to be of service to the community I live in? Because guess what? Now this kid is going to be growing up here, it's going to be going in schools here, it's going to be living amongst the community of people. So, if I focus all my efforts on this, this realm, the fuck am I doing to improve the real firebase, the real thing that matters, right?
Speaker 2:I think that's something that all of us um need to take into in the new year, man yeah, yeah, I'm trying to, and it's like it's it's definitely not easy and it's definitely when you're in a vulnerable state. You know you're, you're, you're, of course, focused on it because of recent events or whatever, um, but at the same time, uh, you, you know you fear or think about other times in your life that may have popped up, and it's like is this just temporary? Is it gonna wear off? Am I gonna get back in that rut? Um, and it's not necessarily a negative rut, it's just not the most important rut. So, yeah, that's kind of where I'm like, I'm like wondering.
Speaker 2:Now I'm trying to, I'm trying to explore that. And, and it's different when you're bringing a child into this world, because that child's not going away yeah, feeling might you know what I mean? Or a state of being, a mindset, they that me, but a physical person that you are bringing in is not going anywhere, and you know, like that. So that's, that's, it's, it's. We're kind of in a different, like similar, but different. You know, looking at this this new year. So I'm, I'm uh, yeah, and I want to do that one day. I've never had no children. Um, definitely something I want to do, but I'm not getting any younger either. Man.
Speaker 1:I used to think that I was starting off at a deficit. Being older, I had this crisis of identity leaving the military and get plugged back into faith, get plugged back into what really matters in life. And I realized, man, I'm not a father yet and I failed as a husband in my first marriage and God gave me this other marriage and I'm not doing well in that. And I had to take a knee and reflect on, like what's really important. And I realized like okay, like SF is not the end, all be all. Being a special forces guy is great, it's a great calling, but it's a chapter. And when I realized what really mattered is okay, I got to put myself together, I got to devote myself to being the best husband I can be, and then we started looking at how to be able to have that family. And then so when you go to the testing, you go to fertility doctors, like yeah, it's just not going to happen for you, and it's like then you have that little crisis moment of like fuck, I finally realized what's really important and now they're telling me I can't have it. And for a split second I almost went off. Back in the deep end I realized like no, like you can be a father, you can be a parent in numerous ways. The important thing is understanding that the reality of the situation and knowing that finally I understand what's important.
Speaker 1:Finally, I see clearly that a lot of the things I was doing in my professional career was just being selfish. I was doing just a lot of things that were just centric to me. I want to achieve the school, I want to go here and do that. I want to achieve and conquer all these goals. But I wasn't really putting a lot of importance in being good just for the sake of being good for others and helping others and bringing the best parts of me out to be of service to a wider community. And I realized now it's like now finally come full circle, having this little one on the way.
Speaker 1:I'm realized, man, like we never really learned that in the Q course, never learned that in life. Like I didn't have like a good you know stereotypically great like mentorship program coming in the military. Like I always had broken men trying to lead other broken men. And I realized now it's like, dude, we got to help each other find our way. Like we have to do what we can to fix ourselves, get better. And then don't just stop there. Reach out into the void and find others are finding guidance, but do it in an authentic way, being able to help others without trying to make a, a selling point or a pitch, which is something that I've seen a lot in a lot of different communities yeah, very transactional yeah, only thing yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm dealing with something like that right now too, where it's like you know, there's just people that I just know their best and the best interest for them is not the best interest for the project and what it is.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, and it's like you need them in some ways, because a lot of these things they are, it is a business and I get it, but it's also like kind of soul-sucking. You know, when you're out there trying to make things, tell stories that are going to make people think and inspire them, and you want to make a difference, you're not trying to, you don't?
Speaker 2:you don't care about turning a buck, you know it's great if it only comes cool, more comfort, but that's not why I'm doing any of this and and people don't understand that yeah, it's hard to.
Speaker 1:It's hard to sell a concept that's just. I want to put good out in the world and people to accept it and be like yeah, I want to support good where all they see is money signs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean that that was. It's one of the things with like mvp. With the mvp movie, for instance, it's it's out there, it's in a lot of places, everywhere, but it's not like it. You know, I think people assume it's just because they see it everywhere and it's on showtime and paramount plus these things, that it's like making all this money and it's it's not. Yeah, it's just not. It's just not, yeah it's.
Speaker 2:It's an illusion, because there's so much out there, especially content wise now yeah that's just an example, but you know I uh, yeah, it's tough, it's tough and, you know, the little man never wins in these situations either. You know, the artist always gets hosed. It's just the way it is. You know, unless they're a big entity, you know, yeah, or something like that, and they're, you know, they're bringing their uh, they bring their fame to it, that kind of carries, then yeah, it can be a different situation. But if you don't have that, um, you know, at a large scale, then you're gonna get owned dudeed, dude.
Speaker 1:it's hard, I tell people all the time. It's really hard to sell positivity. It's really hard to come up and set, you know, bring people onto a show and talk about how to overcome the hardest things in your life and not cover what sells, which is how horrible your deployment was, how many people you killed, how many times were you throwing grenades into a building? People just love listening to war trauma, but they don't want to hear the impact of overcoming your worst day. And it's like you could sit down and make a video that's 30 minutes long and it just breaks down the most heart-wrenching, horrible experience in combat or in life and highlight none of the positives, none of the hero's journey afterwards, how you built yourself back up, and it's just nothing but combat trauma on top of combat trauma, and that will do like 50,000 views within the first five minutes.
Speaker 1:But then you focus on the good of how somebody overcame something and how they built themselves back up, what resources they used, what programs were there to help them, how they built a non-profit, and you throw that up on youtube and it'll get two likes because it negativity sells and it's hard. It's hard to continue pushing. You know, picking back up, for a lot of creators are focusing on the positive, focusing on the how we can help others, because people are constantly seeking out that negativity in the world. They're seeking out the car crash, the moments where it's just nothing but trauma. It's like dude. That's not healthy for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's true. No, I mean, we are in a yeah, we live in a society, and maybe it's been like this forever, and I just don't know. But we are obsessed with violence and we feed off of fear and anger, and the media knows that, so they're going to keep pumping that. And it's not their fault, it's our fault, because we consume it and it's not, you know, it's not their fault, it's our fault because we consume it, exactly.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, like we have to look inward, look at ourselves, Like what are you? What media are you consuming?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what we pick. We pick that as generally you know, not every person, but mostly and so like, hey, if that's profitable, they're going to keep doing it. Those are businesses. Those are not information providers. Those are not information providers. They are businesses that are selling ads. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and what led you to dive into this world? There's a lot of people that often have that question of man like why would you want to go off and get involved in this world of putting yourself out there in programs and media, like what's something that sparked that interest?
Speaker 2:in you. Well, I mean, I was actually interested in storytelling, filmmaking, things like that. I became interested at 19, before I joined the army. I was living in San Diego, I was working on a fishing boat, I tried firefighting school, I mean, obviously it's a very honorable job and all that, but I just I wasn't ready to grow up. I don't think, and I didn. Obviously it's a very honorable job and all that, but I just I wasn't ready to grow up. I don't think, and I didn't. I didn't know if I was the right, you know, if I could handle that.
Speaker 2:Like is this a? I can't have people's lives in my hands. Like I'm a dummy, you know, and and so and Braveheart type stuff you know what I mean Like, and they're great films, don't get me wrong, but it was just like that. And then, um, I started to kind of watch some different stuff and and was just interested and I was like, you know, I'm just going to go up to LA and get, be around the industry and maybe something will happen, you know, and I. So I took some acting classes and was interested in film school, but I didn't want to ask my mom, my parents, to send me to film school Cause it's, it's not cheap and I wasn't even sure I was committed to it and I really wasn't, like I wasn't committed to doing the work. I mean I was, I was just having a good time, I was working odd jobs, you know, being a person in their early twenties and then nine, 11 happened when I was 20, didn't join right away but eventually started doing some relief work after traveling a bit, and that sort of led me to the 18 x-ray program, you know, basically the, the, you know the SF baby. Come off the street, basic training, school pre-selection selection and what off you go. And it was like I was also, you know, like I said, early twenties, kind of lost a bit, drifting. Most of my kids I went to high school with were graduating college and starting their lives and I just was still kind of not sure what to do.
Speaker 2:And I think part of it with the storytelling was I didn't really like my story. So it's like just try and help tell other people's because I didn't really have one yet. You know, Um, I mean, I know everybody does and we're all story in progress, but but yeah, and so I'd say without, I don't know, without, uh, without moving to Los Angeles and with an interest at the time anyway, you know, and not generally pursuing, not genuinely pursuing it, but without that interest in storytelling, I don't know if I would have joined the military. Maybe, maybe. But if I would have been a firefighter or if I would have started another career in something I probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2:I kind of had to be stuck and and uh, you know, with not a lot of prospects for it to be the right time and place for me and uh, to you know, with not a lot of prospects for it to be the right time and place for me, and uh, to you know, to to end up joining the military and then, of course, through that process and serving and being a part of the special forces, being fortunate enough to make it, and then deploying and, and you know, and working in that space and learning how to uh problem solve and learn, not learn. You know learning not how to quit problem solve and learn, not learn. You know, learning not how to quit learning, learning how to just keep going and be relentless and make sacrifices, um, not just sac, not just the willingness to sacrifice your life for your country and your brothers, like your willingness to like sacrifice time and energy and um, and show up and be on time, even though I'm late to everything these days. I was late to this call, wasn't I?
Speaker 1:No, he's a bunch of you. He's always on time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was on time, Plus or minus five, yeah, yeah, I always like cock and slided into formation. You know, seconds before that was me, I was that guy. But anyway, yeah, so it's I. I needed to learn how to do those things through that experience and then coming back to it after you know, I went to college and I played football and I did these other things and then coming back to at the age of 35 I guess, um, the storytelling thing, after living a bit, having these experiences and learning how to do some things, only then was I prepared and I'm still not fully prepared, but at least tricked myself into believing I was prepared enough to to go try and make a movie. You know tell stories did it?
Speaker 1:um, you said something that's so true to so many of us that find our ways into the military and certainly NASA. As a young man, you have a moment where you feel like I don't have enough to tell a story. I don't have enough, like I'm not doing anything in life, and I found that to be true in my own journey. I'm a kid in Colorado trying to make college happen, trying to work full time, uh, in the national guard, and it's just like fuck, like none of this, like no one wants to read this book. No one's going to fucking look at my life and say like wow, like he's done something that matters, like fuck man, like there's gotta be something more to life than just constantly struggling and not having any adventure. And then you find yourself willing to go active duty, being willing to go into a place that you get to travel, you get to see the world and experience life, like that's one thing that from your story it's like fuck man, like your life just right now makes a fucking badass book. Fucking volunteered in Africa, became a Green Beret, went in the NFL, now is helping others, and it's like you're on TV. But at the same time, is that what really matters? Is that what really matters at the end of the day?
Speaker 1:We look at those things, but what we really need to highlight is how are we helping other human beings, how are we being of service back to the community? Because, within that kid that traveled, that was a fisherman that went to Hollywood, that's a person of service. Even in one of the most important ways we can be of service is telling stories. That's something that people have failed to realize. We need to continue championing others that are working in this space, that are creating authentic stories that help us connect with each other. That's what we're missing. It's hard to get in front of somebody and sell this message of positivity and of hope and resilience, but if you create something that is on Netflix, that is on TV, that's circulating, that says just that, that sells that like fuck. That's a force for good man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hope so it's. It's tough because sometimes the this, sometimes the story doesn't work either. You know, sometimes the project isn't, isn't good. You know, the, the, the result, I guess.
Speaker 2:And not just because people didn't see it, I actually don't, I care less about the sheer numbers of people that see it, I care about the impact it has on those that do, and if it actually lands with them, even if it's just one person I know that's corny and cliche, you know, if I can just reach one person, but seriously, like if you make a difference in somebody's life, if for somebody out there, that thing that you made, you know, they, they, uh, they took a left turn at that stop sign instead of a right turn, and the right turn was somewhere very bad and the left turn was somewhere, you know, hopeful, and then who knows what happens after that? Just because they saw, you know, your, your story, uh, affected that one little tiny baby decision, it can have a huge ripple effect on the world, you know, and at least in their lives and their community. So you got to try, I think you know.
Speaker 2:I don't know. No one really knows. No one knows what we're doing here.
Speaker 1:You know, we're all just trying to figure it out, like it's true, but you, you, you have to stay positive, you have to try, and I have to imagine that, when that young man decided that it was time to leave the military, there had to have been a story, or at least something that connected with you, that gave you the audacity to dream of going into college football. Because, let me tell you, at no point in my career did I think that I had what it took to do anything like what you've done being able to go to play, play football. So what? What gave you that, that spark?
Speaker 2:I don't know. That is a great. I mean, I've been asked that before too and I don't know where that comes from. I think it comes from a deep honestly. I think it comes from some some deep seated insecurity, in some ways of like I'm not doing enough, I'm not a good person, all these narratives that we, we, everybody, struggles with this at some level different levels of course, but you know, I'm, I'm uh, I'm a waste of a good opportunity. I have a golden ticket. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a white American male Uh, I was from a good enemy number one, damn it.
Speaker 2:It's seriously, like you know, it comes from a good family, like I do have a golden ticket to at least, like, try and chase my dreams, and if I don't do that, that's not, that's, that's kind of a disservice, because there's a lot of there's, there's millions of people, billions, maybe that would love that opportunity, and a lot of them have it and don't realize it. But whatever, and I think you, you know, when you survive, going to combat, for instance, you know you think about things differently. It too, though, because because of that, because I felt like I need to go do this thing and that thing, all these um mountains to climb, you know, so to speak.
Speaker 2:I gotta go try all of them. You sacrifice personal relationships, often not just romantic, but just like you just do, and you know I don't really have a home. Even now, I'm on the road constantly, I'm all over the place Like every. Every home I've ever bought has been, you know, not for me or a potential future with a family spin. Is this a good investment? Is it an easy situation logistically? And so when you do that constantly, you don't feel like you have a home. You don't feel settled and calm and comforted at home. You're just like You're constantly running man.
Speaker 2:You're running and trying to lead, what's the next thing? And all that, because you want to do all these things, because you have all these dreams and all that, and so that's like a double-edged sword. I mean it's cool and I don't regret doing it, but I'm coming to the point, I think, in my life where and it's like I don't want to stop that train, but I need to find a way to like balance it and not you know, and not uh, and not just keep running 24, seven through the night, like have your, have your stops and have your home base.
Speaker 2:And so I don't, but I, I'm you know, I'm, I'm like trying to figure that out now, but anyway, I just was late. I'm a late bloomer in so many ways, like I mean, you know, I joined the military a little later. I did never played football in my life till I was 29 years old. Um started the film stuff at 35, you know, and now I'm 43. And so it's like I feel like I've started over all these different chapters and and, uh, I've never really focused on uh, you know the personal and the familial so much. You know Um, and, and so I'm, I'm, I'm trying to do that I've talked about it for before, but you know to actually commit to it and dedicate to trying to do that. Uh is it's different for me? You know, it's definitely different. It feels like this is something I should have been doing. This is something that often people kind of go through 10, 15 years earlier in their lives that I'm going through now. So it's strange.
Speaker 1:You're hitting exactly what so many of us hit right at transition from the military that pivot point. Congratulations, you're now part of the pivot crew. It's not a career, it's a life, it's a and it's. I talked to jeff bosley and he was the same way. He's like dude I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm not feeling the issues and the identity crisis that so many of my friends and brothers dealt when they left the service. I'm feeling it now and it's a different point now. I see it now I can identify with and it just goes to show us like we're all going to go through this at some point in life and some points and and I tend to think now like we're lucky, we're damn, we're so fucking lucky that we experienced it right after leaving the military, because then we have the ability to take that knee, find out, you know, do the security halt? Yeah, look, listen, smell, figure out what's going on, identify that next chapter and be willing to like okay, I got my bearings. Now I can go into scuba road and not drown, I can go through this murky part of my life and get to the other side.
Speaker 1:But, to say it, you're going to make it through this, you're going to go through this part and you got to just take a knee for a moment. You got to be able to realize that you've gone through so much shit in life and now it's time to just reevaluate and figure out what truly matters. That's a beautiful part of focusing on mind, body and spirit which I didn't know. I didn't realize how important that was. We always focused on the body right. Like I want to be physically fit. I want to crush this tool, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then you fall the fuck apart and you're like, oh wait, a second, I'm not going to rework on all these fucking domains. And that last pillar man, that faith pillar man I didn't realize how important it was, I didn't realize that I needed to connect with my faith and again shout out to my wife who brought me back to my faith, who brought me back to church. And that's the one thing I tell guys like dude, we're comfortable getting back in the gym. We could have gained 300 pounds and if we get the right nutrition plan, if we get the right workout plan, we're going to fucking go back in there. Damn right, we're going to crush it. The mind domain, okay, eventually we can talk to somebody and get somebody plugged in to talk therapy to the right mental health resource and they'll start making gains on that.
Speaker 1:And that final piece, final piece, man, connecting with your spirituality, connecting with faith, and doesn't have to be what I've, what I believe in, doesn't have to be what any of your friends believe in, but as long as you connect with that domain, man, like you'll realize like, oh shit, like I have a way out of this is really truly like it's part of being a man too, like we have to have that, that, that journey odysseus, right like the odyssey, like we've been on this kick of achieving and going after so many different goals, and then we don't pause and think like, okay, how the fuck do I get back home?
Speaker 1:How do I get back? Like this is your odyssey, this is your, this is your challenge. Like, and the best thing that I've realized it's having trust in the process, understanding, like everything you've gone through has brought you this moment today to realize that what you're questioning, what you're going through, it's important. Don't just push it away like we all do a really good job of pushing that shit away, kicking the can down the road. Ask yourself those important, deep questions, man, because, like you do deserve to have a home, you gotta have roots, man yeah, yeah, no, I I agree, I think I just uh not to make excuses, but I'm gonna make excuses.
Speaker 2:Um, I've just had such a transient life, even growing up, like I had a good family. Like I said I have and I still do. I'm very lucky to have you know, uh, both my parents like, poured everything into into me and my brother and sister. But we, you know, every about four or five years we moved completely different place over.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like that has kind of hung with me. And so it's been this like cycle, uh, right Almost on the dot of every four or five years, a new chapter, a new place, a new identity, a new, you know, starting completely over, and it wears on. It does wear on you, you know, and it's exciting when you're young and as you get older it's like especially when you're alone, you know you're just like what am I doing? What, what you know, what now? And it's like you look back at some of the uh, some of the things you helped build and be a part of, and you know, but you didn't, you didn't stay around to, you know, uh, to to maintain the foundation, and you know, and then, whether that's friendships or whatever, and you know, you start to feel regret for things and and and lack of effort in certain ways, and you know, because you were too focused on these other things that don't last, that aren't, that aren't, uh, um, eternal, you know.
Speaker 2:So when you talk about spirituality, like you know, it does resonate right now with me especially, and I've always been a person that really struggled with faith, faith in people, with faith in anything, systems, with faith in god, whatever your god is. You know, and I don't think that's a bad thing because it keeps you inquisitive. You know, without doubt, there is no faith, like if for somebody that's just like I 100 know this thing, I'm like, well then you don't, you don't have faith because you just know, you know what I mean. Like that's different, I'm sorry, but it just is. Some of the most religious people I've ever met, including men and women of the cloth, have doubt, you know, and I'm like that's genuine, that's real, because we can't see. Oh yeah, it's not just revealed to us, whatever this thing is, that's why there's so many different thoughts and beliefs and all these things.
Speaker 2:But it is important, you know, it's important for your own mental health, um, and I do believe. I do believe in some way. You know, that the universe and we are all connected in some strange way because things there's just too many coincidences, there's too many um, strong pulls and things that happen, and you know, even the terrible things, um, they just impact. There's too impactful and I don't know it's straight, it's just a. It is a strange experience. Life is definitely a strange experience. Um, but, um, but yeah, that's something that I'm trying and I'm struggling and failing every day but trying to focus on is that a spiritual side and um, and just trusting, you know, and having that, keeping that, keeping that faith through.
Speaker 2:You know what seems like a hopeless times now and again, um, and I'm, and I'm also, you know, I think I'm an eternal optimist in some ways, even though I'm very pessimistic person when it comes to things. But, like, I've never genuinely struggled with this. You know this idea that, um, that you know that a lot of people struggle with and and succumb to. You know, when you talk about suicide or or or, feeling like the world would be better without you, I've never felt that and I don't feel that. But it doesn't mean that just because you don't feel the extreme measure of that, it's not hard. You know what I mean. Like, like you, you also, you know, struggle with. Am I making the right decision? Am I, you know, should I take a left turn or a right turn here? Like the same thing that that person may have been affected by what you said or what you made, that they saw, like those, every, every little choice in life has a huge impact, or can and uh, and so, just like that doubt and concern. It's hard, you know it's. It's definitely hard. You just gotta, I just have to, not, I shouldn't tell anybody else, I just have to continue to learn and accept that.
Speaker 2:You know, this is the way you know, and and and uh, and when things are really hard and you're going through a tough time, personally, like Marcus Aurelius said, the obstacle is the way. Don't quit on it, don't run away from it. As sad as it might be, as hard as it might be, face it, face it, lean into it, because there's something there and it's probably not what you're hoping for or what you're expecting. It's probably something totally different. But don't, don't shy away from that, you know. Don't quit, um, just be with it. You're supposed to be sad and hurt sometimes and angry and all these things. Like, don't avoid that, you know, because it will lead to a release of those feelings eventually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, somehow it's happened before with me, so I know it'll happen again, but I mean that's you know. Just to be completely transparent. Like that's where I'm in that place right now. I'm in the, you know, one of these dark nights. I said it the other day on Twitter or something. Nobody saw it, but I was like I'm in my dark night of the soul era. I should have said I should have said again, because it's not the first time, it's definitely not the first time. It's probably the fifth time in my life.
Speaker 1:Dude, you got to take a note from mindfulness. One of the things that I love teaching people is the importance of understanding how things dissipate. You hit your elbow really frigging hard, hurts like a motherfucker. Breathe. Understand that everything dissipates. Everything will work its way through. Same with pain. Chronic pain is a big issue for veterans and I found myself in the same space. I'm not always going to be in pain. I'm always going to be. I'm always in pain. No, in this moment, right now, in this moment we are in right now, things are challenging, things are tough, and if you're listening at home and you find yourself this holiday season dealing with a lot right now, if you're in a dark place, take a deep breath, pause, understand this will pass. This moment right now will pass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've been through waves man. You're a surfer not physically, maybe. You haven't ridden a wave in real time, but you're a surfer. You've ridden high times and you've been in some low times. Trust me, just like in the military, you have good commands. You have bad commands. Yeah, things are great with a good commander. Things are really bad when you have a bad one. Waves man, you're riding waves just as surely as this place that you're in right now feels like rock bottom. Tomorrow, or maybe the next day or next week, it'll feel like the best times of your life. You just have to be an optimistic. Hold on, dude. We've been through worse. Nate, I know you've been through worse the Q course that sucks. The super road that sucks. We all get through these times.
Speaker 1:And when we forget about how resilient we are, when we forget about our grit, take a moment, look through your photos. I know you. You're telling me you don't have selfies. I guarantee you have selfies. Look through your photos. Find those moments in life when you're smiling, when you've gone through something difficult, and on that back side you're like fuck, dude, look what we just did.
Speaker 1:Or take a chapter from our book man Security Hall what we like to promote doing something difficult. Go, do something hard. Go do something hard that challenges you physically. Go for a run, go for a ruck, be willing to go into discomfort and then, after you're done with that, pause and reflect how good you feel. That right, there is a wave. You're out there rocking 12 miles and it fucking sucks and it's miserable. And then you stop and you're done.
Speaker 1:Even if you're by yourself, you feel a sense of accomplishment and you're like, fuck, yeah, I did it, like all right, it's a little moment of a wave. Chase those moments. Um, nate, I can't thank you enough for being here, man, and for being vulnerable enough. But before I let you go, tell us about MVP man, give us a quick roundup of what you're doing, because come to find out in a lot of the stuff that I focus on Security Hall and in one of the other shows I produce, Shameless Plug Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman, we talk about the effects of concussion TBIs and RHI on the human brain, and two populations that know that impact very well are NFL players and our veterans.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I mean and it's not just NFL players with MVP, it's all athletes, you know. So MVP stands for Merging Vets and Players, and what we do is essentially we bring together combat vets and former professional athletes and we help them find purpose and identity when they lose a uniform, um, and whether it's physical injuries or, you know, mental, moral, emotional, whatever, like people, people struggle, people deal with stuff. We all have shit in our lives. We just do um. But there's value in that shit too. You know. We get to choose what to do with it. We can let the stench overwhelm us, which is tempting and easy to do, or you can turn it into fertilizer and grow something you know.
Speaker 2:And when you have, when you've gone through stuff and when you've experienced hardship and you've been told you're not good enough anymore, you're not worth it anymore, and you get cut from a team, for instance, or you come back from a deployment and you're struggling with survivor's guilt why did I make it out? And these guys didn't make it out like it? And as hard as all that is, there is value in it. There's value in it because you have an opportunity now that you've been through some trials and some tough stuff and you still achieve something great.
Speaker 2:You were a part of something very powerful, very important. You know, look the sacrifices, the, the uh, the stakes. They're very different on the battlefield than ball field. We would never compare war to playing sports. But that connection to a team, that camaraderie, the locker room, the number one thing. When you ask athletes or veterans what do you miss about what you did, they always say the guys. You know that the bonds like that is really hard to replicate in the quote unquote, real world, in the civilian world it's, it's hard to find you know, and uh.
Speaker 2:So what we encourage an mvp is, you know, to to not only join this community and be around people who have experienced the same things as you, who can help you walk that walk through the transition. And the transition doesn't to. It doesn't always happen right after you get out, like you were kind of talking about earlier. It can happen many years after you know, and it's always happening at some level, like you're always transitioning and changing and growing. You should be, but but yeah, like when you realize that there's people out there, a lot of people out there, um, who don't have the exact same experience as you, that feel the same things you do and struggle with the same things you do. Maybe it starts with I come out of the military and and and I only feel like I don't feel like anybody gets me except for other people that went to war and lost like I lost and then you're around some other vets with some different stories, and then you're around some athletes that when they start talking about stuff, you're like that's very similar to what I feel and understand, and then you realize that there's people outside of the vet and athlete spheres that struggle and there's that everybody has shit in their life, everybody, you know it really helps bring it back and get us back into, you know, reintegration, really, um, which is super important. And then, when you realize you're not alone, you've got all these other people that feel these things and experience these things. Now, um, how do I want to exercise this pain? You know what I want to, what do I want to do with it, whether it's artistic or creative or um, professional or familial. You know, how do I be a better father, which I'm not yet, but you know, how do you, how do you use those things to, to, to coach, to teach, um, to mentor, and then, uh, or or yeah, whatever it is, whatever it is in life, like, how can I be a better leader in the workforce? And um, all of that stuff.
Speaker 2:You realize, all the things that you thought were negatives, you know, and the things that you regretted, and the pain and the, you know, the some, what you'd maybe consider the worst days of your life, um, that those are the real. There's the. That's where the real value lies, you know, and those lessons and then those times that you survived and you, you know, kept going and, um, you don't, you know, you look at the accolades and the achievements and the medals and the championships and whatever. And that's great. But what you really, what you really are proud of, is the moments when that voice in your head was telling you to give up and you didn't. You kept going. You kept going until you found that stupid glow stick in the ground and you thought you'd never find it. And you found it. You know, yeah, man, I almost quit five miles ago or whatever. And and then you just keep going and you start to build on that and you have to start.
Speaker 2:You remember what that feels like when you were building on little wins in the military, on the, on the, on the sports field, where you had, you lacked confidence, and then, all of a sudden, you're just like I can do anything. You get to this point and then when you lose the uniform, you lose identity, like all of that can go away quickly. You know when you, and all of a sudden, you're just like, oh my gosh, I don't know anything about this world, about this life. You know, and then, little by little, you realize like it's all the same, it's all connected. Those, those, those lessons you learned, that you know, the, the, uh, the values that were instilled in you and that you discovered inside yourself. Um, they translate to anything in life really, and then you know you can only, you can only grow from there. So that's really what MVP is.
Speaker 2:I mean, that was a long-winded answer, but, um, but that's what it's about. It's just that community of belief, you know, of faith, if you want to take a full circle to what we're talking about faith that things um, talking about faith that things um will get better, but also action within that belief, not just believing and waiting for something to happen, taking action, you know. Taking action, trying to ride that edge of um, you know, without smothering this thing or killing this dream, like how can I be patient, work towards it? You know, and honor it, it and hope that I'll get this shot or whatever it is, but also like taking action every day. You know, love is an action. It's not, it's not just a feeling, it's an action. You have to, you have to do things.
Speaker 2:So I think that that's because a lot of vets, you know, and athletes too, they get done and they think I'll never be great again, that's it. All I know is this thing, and they kind of shut down and they just like. Maybe they still even have some belief and faith that something will happen, but they're just waiting for other people to open the door for them. It's like, you know Mark Duplass, a filmmaker, said it best the cavalry is not coming. I guess no one's coming to save you. You know what I mean? They're not. You gotta, you gotta do it. You know, once you start doing it, the cavalry will arrive and help you, you know, but they're not gonna come. Just yeah, take you out of your room, you know, and pull the shades up and, you know, get life going like that's not exactly.
Speaker 1:You know the qrf does not exist. Yeah, there's no soda to call it does.
Speaker 2:It does when you're fighting. You know what I mean. When you're fighting, you're in it, the qrf will show up, but if you're waiting in the patrol base and you know you're not going on missions and you're not they they're not going to come get you what? Yeah, yes, I mean like no.
Speaker 1:So yeah, man, dude nate, thank you so much for coming on, brother.
Speaker 2:Thank you, brother, you got a tight, not going to come get you.
Speaker 1:What do you want? Yeah, yes, you know what I mean. Like no. So, yeah, man, dude Nate, thank you so much for coming on, brother. Thank you, brother. You got a tight schedule today and I just want to say thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your journey and what you're up to today and for being willing to step into the arena and help our players and veterans out. We need more men that are willing to do that, to lead these causes. And again, thank you for being here.
Speaker 1:To everybody listening, thank you for tuning in and if you're struggling today, just remember, keep riding that wave, understand that nothing that you're going through is too bad and too horrible and it just won't go away eventually. You just have to stay positive, trust in faith and in action and take it day by day. And to everybody out there that's having an awesome time, keep moving and we'll see you all next time. Until then, take care. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom, forward slash SecHawk podcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram X or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhawkcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening, the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week. Thank you.
