Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
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Security Halt!
#238 Humor, Resilience, and Recovery: Jeff Bosley on Life After Special Operations
In this insightful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero welcomes actor and former special operator Jeff Bosley for a deep dive into the power of humor, resilience, and personal growth. Through candid and often humorous discussions, Jeff and Deny explore the realities of life in special operations, the challenges of aging, and the struggles with alcohol addiction. They share how dark humor and vulnerability serve as essential tools for coping and connection.
The conversation expands to include Jeff’s transition into Hollywood, the pursuit of dreams, and the importance of balancing ambition with personal reflection. Jeff also opens up about his cancer journey, highlighting the strength found in community support, the role of resilience in recovery, and the transformative power of shared experiences.
Tune in for an engaging conversation filled with humor, life lessons, and inspiration! Don’t forget to follow, like, share, and subscribe on Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts.
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Chapters
00:00The Humor Behind the Mission Briefings
02:56The Reality of Special Operations Life
06:01Aging and Masculinity in Special Operations
09:01Coping Mechanisms: Dark Humor and Vulnerability
11:58Alcohol: A Double-Edged Sword
15:01Finding Comfort in Sobriety
17:59The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
26:21Finding Purpose Through Healthy Distractions
30:16The Journey of Self-Discovery
34:14Navigating the Hollywood Landscape
39:52The Balance Between Dreams and Reality
44:37Chasing Dreams After Service
56:29Reflections on Life Choices
59:12Life Experiences and Perspectives on Opportunity
01:00:40The Value of Education and Personal Growth
01:01:56Navigating Life's Challenges and Humor
01:05:40Facing Cancer: A Personal Journey
01:12:33The Importance of Community and Support
01:19:00Finding Strength in Vulnerability and Shared Experiences
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Produced by Security Halt Media
security hot podcast. Let's go with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best with guns, with knives, with his bare hands, a man who's been trained to ignore, ignore weather, to live off.
Speaker 1:The land job was disposed of enemy personnel to kill period reflects a true lived experience and every green beret or seal ranger has done this. Before you're sitting down, you're having to do a soda brief before you go to the mission and if you're not located with fucking higher headquarters in your fucking, your little fucking team room and there's fucking a dildo over here, a naked chick poster over there, and you just fucking move that webcam so it's right on the fucking captain. It doesn't show any of the other fucking degenerates that are to the left and right of him and he's sitting there like yes, I'm sorry we're gonna be here and here briefing his whole shit. Meanwhile you got the junior 18.
Speaker 2:Bravo, fucking making dick jerking or you failed at the at your job if you didn't have just a little bit of the head. Yeah just in there, just enough so like people are like I know what that is, but if they say anything, that means they know what it is, and then they've outed themselves oh yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:Uh, it's one of those like you can't like. The war stories are great and the movies action movies are awesome, but what you and I both know are the greatest moments are those hilarious antics that go down outside of combat the shit that happens and I've said that countless times, that there needs to be a show that is um, is that like?
Speaker 2:I don't want to like do it a disservice, but I know more more sniper teams can relate to this than I can. But like they need I want to show that revolves around the stereotype like it opens up you hear me out like I'm pitching this to you so it opens up on a badass like two-man sniper team, you know, crawling in the middle of nowhere, and then they and there's like sheep farmers and all that, all the cliches. They dig the little spider hole, they're doing all this. And everybody's like sheep farmers and all that, all the cliches. They dig the little spider hole, they're doing all this. And he's like oh my god, this is badass. There's badass music. And then, like the, bravo, wherever's been to the whatever school, that sniper has to take a shit. And then lo and behold his buddies hanging under a ziploc catching his poop, or you know, I'm like. And then the, then the reality of what really happens is all this shit?
Speaker 2:you don't know yeah, you know, but then again it's. It's not like green berets have the best pr machine, so I still don't know if we should also make that be a show where they're like well, no wonder these guys don't have movies, because all they do is shit and sit on bags.
Speaker 1:No wonder they stopped yeah, that that should be part of every action movie the weird places where you'll have to stop and take a shit. Dude. I mean people see the guys like Blaine. Blaine's a real, real action hero that's ripped from SF history, and by that I mean it's not really based on but the persona really does exist.
Speaker 1:I remember I started dipping tobacco because I saw so many of the guys I looked up to with giant fucking dippers and I'm like that clearly this is what a green beret does. And then you see guys that do it going like ramp drops out of ch47 could be like a fucking perfect hollywood movie're moving under dark, you're moving, you're clearing everything and then you realize that a human being cannot take that much nicotine and caffeine before they have to shit their brains out. And I've seen that happen.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, that's like yeah, I, I I mentioned that a lot of times Like I try not to be that war story bro cover for me. Yeah, I mentioned that a lot of times. I try not to be that war story bro vet guy, but most of the time I circle around in a self-deprecating don't. Like you know, I don't. Obviously. We live in a world where there's podcasts and people talk about this shit. We're not our grandpa World War II vet. That's like no, I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Which obviously they probably saw way more horrendous things. So maybe that's why the whole other conversation. But I tend to like try to avoid it, but I try to also bring it in the humor of it, or just painting this really dark humor about it and I was like I'm like, yeah, well, you know, you have to poop, you know.
Speaker 2:And they're like, oh, yeah. And I'm like, no, really think about this bad asses and their cool cutoff DCUs or whatever the hell stone on pockets have been sitting there doing oh, I'm just going to at least roll on my side and poop my pants sideways, so there's 1% dignity remaining versus pooping my pants laying on my back or in the prone, you know cause, like you're on your stomach and you pee your pants.
Speaker 2:You're just like, you know, yeah. So I'm like, oh, I never thought of that. I'm like, yeah, nobody does. You gotta be fucking disciplined.
Speaker 1:That makes you hard.
Speaker 2:You're not a badass until you've pooped your pants. What is that? A happy Gilmore.
Speaker 1:You ain't cool until you peed your pants. You pee your pants.
Speaker 2:You're like peeing your pants is cool. Consider me, miles, just counting schoolhouse pant peas. You know that doesn't even count deployment pant peas Getting a man Like.
Speaker 1:I don't know why. Yeah, where's all your gray hair?
Speaker 2:You, you, you, you, you. Ethnic son of a bitch, it's coming in, it's nice.
Speaker 1:I enjoy it, but like every Instagram ad that I or social media ad ad or on tv, I see all these fucking ads for guys like you need smooth skins. Like fuck that men are supposed to have fucking calloused hands. And look like hammer dog, shit, not. Like you're not supposed to be prin. And like look like you're fucking 22 when you're in your 40s man, we are lucky, you surprised.
Speaker 2:It is a very sexist lucky luck of the draw when it comes to society and aging man. Yeah, you know like, yeah, it's very true, I actually look back at my young pictures. I'm like I like that. I have a little bit of anger. It baked into my crow's feet, you know, like a jaded, jaded anger and dissension. Really, look at you with your pompadour hair perfectly clothed, yeah, if I just go back to the younger me and just be like don't give a shit about some of this stuff.
Speaker 1:Man, oh my god, oh, my god dude. Yeah, let me tell you something the most vain people on earth are people within special operations. Oh, yeah, oh, let me tell you, and everybody's like, if you're not trying to look good for the time you're going to the bar, getting off, or you're going to, uh, the deployment down south, like you're just constantly like it's all about how good you look, I need to make sure I've got the. No, and it extends to everything you got the, the perfect truck, the harley, it's like god dude, yeah, it's so stereotypical yeah, it's, it's anybody that says otherwise.
Speaker 2:It's bullshit, you know. I mean, yeah, I, it's a coincidence, I luckily have a, an sf flag, coincidentally posed right there, you know, like there's well, that's. The other thing is, when it comes to like detailed minded uh bordering on compulsive ocd people like us on probably on the spectrum with a level of narcissism. It doesn't it, I argue, it doesn't discriminate. Like you might have your niche, some guy might rain man on various barrel threading and all this absurd shit.
Speaker 2:But it doesn't mean they can just turn it off when it's something else. So they're going to take that obsession. I hope I'm not just saying this for myself. I'm going to take the stuff I'm compulsive about and then apply it to anything. So you start to be compulsive about every little thing. Well, I'm not just gonna pulse on harley's, I'm gonna pulse on thread counts and all these stupid shit. You're like this is, I can't, this isn't cool.
Speaker 1:This isn't what I signed up. I can't master everything. This is yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:That's not fair, but I'll try that's.
Speaker 1:That's where I'm crashing down dude, fucking awesome man jeff, thank you for being here, man we, we, uh. We've been jumping back and forth, but we finally got on the same wavelength. Our weaponized autism finally synced in. I'm stealing that I am stealing that. It's 100 fucking true man.
Speaker 2:The government gave it to us.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god there's somebody in a lab was like I know how to make the perfect. We have to infect them when they make it to the Q-Cart. I argue.
Speaker 2:That's the problem. It's like people, because I'm pretty OCD and I wouldn't. Well, maybe I'm autistic, I don't know, but I was that way when I went in, so it only made it worse. So I think you come out depending on how you went in, and that's why the weaponized autism thing kind of hit home Trademark pending.
Speaker 1:I'm not joking.
Speaker 2:That needs to be your podcast hat.
Speaker 1:The amount of people that are the design's actually in my Canva it is coming out. I will be the first one to buy that that is genius that is? It's literally dropping this week. God is it really that's amazing.
Speaker 2:I I will be a first-time shopper. That is oh yeah that is amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so true yeah, they're not politically direct. So yeah, because you know it's not wrong it's all about.
Speaker 1:So I always explain to people it's like this is primarily a mechanism to get guys that may be on that bridge taking that step towards getting help. And you know this, just like any other special operations guy knows this. We cope with dark humor, we cope with team room talk. Yeah, there's been so many times, and you've probably dealt with it yourself when you get a friend that's finally vulnerable through a series of jokes and talking and they finally open up a little bit and they're like fuck man, I'm going through a divorce or I'm going through this or I think I have an addiction, all that shit finally comes through.
Speaker 1:Because you're connected with friends, you tap in your dark humor. You're tapping the thing that you know that you've used to cope through through very as hard yeah, fucking impossible schools and mental health and being able to ask for help is no different. We just have to lubricate the wheels to get you in to the uh, to the show, get you into the peer support group by laughing and joking, man, because that's the real authentic experience, man, that nobody can ever take. Yeah, like there are so many different shows, so many different tv shows and movies, they'll never get it right, because they don't get this. The poop and cum jokes. That's it.
Speaker 2:That's the true thing, yep yeah, yeah, if it doesn't have to do with some morbid way of dying or some more horrible, embarrassing way of pooping your pants like, we won't appreciate it and I argue like it's, you know, and it's funny because it's obviously this is a whole nother show itself, but we almost need to be striving for that level of decent.
Speaker 2:Is it's desensitization, which is essentially what dark humor does is? Is it's a glorified coping mechanism, until somebody from Hunter seven or somebody that Tom wants to talk about out operator syndrome and allostatic load and all that, and you can say I'm wrong. I would argue it's probably the only way for a certain niche of people to to deal you know and or or or I. Only way for a certain niche of people to to deal you know and yeah, or or. I should say modality to deal you know if that's all they have and it's not.
Speaker 1:We see it across the board, we see it with firefighters yeah, exactly even even our um, uh, our um 911 dispatch yeah, dispatchers, they all dive into. I have a great cousin. She is a trauma nurse and that's one of the things that we've come to understand. It's that dark. Yeah, they use it too. They use the cope through talk about some hard shit to deal with, like they're dealing with you, and I realized like, oh shit, I'm on to something. You know, you make a few memes, make people laugh and then before you know it, you get some dms asking like hey, what was that treatment center?
Speaker 2:you went to Glad you asked Lower Ridge Treatment.
Speaker 1:Center, Mission 100.
Speaker 2:That's a shameless plug if you need help. It's not shameless it was pretty obvious.
Speaker 2:No, but I mean it gives you a relatability. You know, like if you're going to talk to a shoe, I'll just trivialize it. And if you want people that relate to something, that's going to be their identifying factor so they can feel like, let in, and if dark humor happens to be it, so be it. Because if somebody's going to just sit there and wallow in their own whatever they're in, and they can't find a way to connect, they're just going to sit there and continue wallowing. And if I'm not saying like, oh, I'm just going to go hang out with a bunch of alcoholic child killers because I relate to him and that helps me therapeutically. But you know that with anything there's a sweet spot, you know, and this is a huge disclosure thing.
Speaker 2:But a perfect example is like I I started going to aa. I couldn't relate to him because not because I think I'm higher than now but, um, these, the one nearby just was a bunch of super old dudes. You know, obviously we had one thing in common but we, fortunately, everyone there had like everyone but me was like. Well, my breaking point was I drove a school bus of kids off a bridge, or I drove to work drunk. You know, like the horror stories that made them quit. And I was like and so they, they related in that that trauma for lack of better terms, trauma bonding me. I was like, uh, they're like, so why are you here?
Speaker 2:I'm like my lab said my liver was damaged, like oh, what happened nothing, you know, I was like, I was like I had my labs right and I was like, oh, this is bad, I should stop, and I know why I do this and so like.
Speaker 1:Let's dive into that, because alcohol is something that is killing so many of us so many of our dudes like and it totally up to you, man, be as vulnerable as you want Be like. How did you first figure out that there was an issue?
Speaker 2:Honestly, the labs, um, like, for me, uh, it's, I mean, it's a weird thing. This is like a uh, breaking news or anything but, but I've never really fully fleshed out so there's a little stuttery, but I'm I'm painfully transparent so I have no issue with that. But honestly, the big thing for me was, with that obsessive, compulsive attitude, typical 18 delta, uh, green beret guy, fitness guy, and I'm certain in our, in the men in our family are on the spectrum. So it's like this is the perfect blender of not good. But it was the weirdest thing is I would.
Speaker 2:I would, especially covid, you know that's the stereotype for everybody, for sure, um, but uh, for me it was ironic because I would actually count my calories while I was still drinking, like, because I'm obsessed with fitness. I was like I, I got to get my Mac. I would like, oh, I had too many calories of this, so then I'm not gonna eat this much food for the day. I would literally treat it like a piece of cake. I'm like, oh, I had a lot, so I went fitness on it. But a bottle of Jack Daniels is 65 calories per one and a half ounce drink. I would drink a bottle of Jack Daniels a night and that's fucked up. That's horrible, that's and I'm not, that's not one to exaggerate, like that was. That was pretty serious and it was. It was actually gentlemen Jack. So I guess I shouldn't, I don't want to be a liar.
Speaker 2:It was gentlemen. A bottle of gentlemen, jack. Yeah a gentleman's jacket, I think is $69 per one and a half ounce.
Speaker 1:That fucker makes you pay for that, I thought because it was a gentleman. Yeah, it was a little bit nicer.
Speaker 2:But no, the harder stuff is less calorically dense. That should be my podcast, Like the fitness alcoholic.
Speaker 1:You'd have to have one hell of a disclaimer before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like that thing at the beginning of the YouTube ones, now All the YouTube ones that talk about steroids. It was like a three-minute video of like don't do what I do, but yeah, so like that was. The weirdest thing is so like I knew logistically it's not like I wasn't aware after every shift. This is particularly when I was living in California. Uh uh, covert agent it sounds cool. It was an undercover bodyguard. It was literally what it was it was. It was Paul Blart meets Jason Bourne Not cool, but it it breathes well, it sounds awesome.
Speaker 2:But I would come home every night and I'd buy the bottle uh, gentlemen Jack, and finish it off and I I'd still wake up the next morning work out. So I had no reference point. I knew on paper. I was like that is the definition of tolerance, Like that was like it was. It wasn't even a bragging point. I was in awe.
Speaker 2:I was like, holy shit, I'm doing this three to five to seven days a week, three at the least, and I'm not driving drunk, I'm not. It's not affecting my work, it's not affecting my relationships. It's not like I wouldn't get embarrassingly drunk, I wouldn't have a Rambo night with a pistol, I wouldn't have any quote, unquote fallouts. I just knew, logistically I was spending a lot of money. I was highly aware I was doing it, I wasn't that oblivious. But I had no, like I said at that, AA references. I had no reason to quit, so I would quit.
Speaker 2:So I'm like this for off and on I would just do the two steps forward, one step back. Two steps forward, one step back. You know, anybody that's drank, that has tried, and I'd have like I'm winded because I'm talking so fast. Speaking of fitness disclaimer, I just fought cancer. I'm not cardiovascularly recovered. There's my poor me moment. So that was off and on for years, and today, actually, I'm using my phone. Oh, you can't even see it. What a waste. I have an LCD back there with a logo on the back and because we're going vertical, you can't fucking see.
Speaker 1:We'll describe it to the audience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has my initials, it's really cool, but on my phone I think I'm like five and a half. This is five and a half months, is the first, is the longest I've done, probably ever, and I was never a big party or a drinker, so but it was. It was like I said, the biggest thing were my labs, my, my kidneys. I don't want to get into the nerdery of it, but my kidney numbers and my liver numbers were like pre-cirrhosis for my liver. So I was medically savvy. I was like, well, that doesn't surprise me, and so I had to quit. They had to do some extra scans and all that. And I caught it just in time before it went to cirrhosis. I quit, I think, for about two months at that time and I was able to recover the liver. The liver, thank Christ, is extremely. It's like a salamander tail. That shit will grow back. That's not to say don't test it, because I tested the shit.
Speaker 1:Don't follow his footsteps. How tough is it, God?
Speaker 2:I'm going to introduce you to Gentleman jack and have him come in with us with a scissors and start cutting off the tail.
Speaker 1:Um, he goes to jeff bosley doing the scientific method. I have an hypothesis. I gotta cause and I prove I am an expert. That was my argument.
Speaker 2:I'm like I think I'm. I don't. I joke about this, but I haven't made this joke, especially with this cancer bullshit. I've been like, okay, I'm not, I don't think I'm a god by any stretch of imagination, I don't think I'm a mutant. I actually do have a mutation for cancer, so super shitty mutation. But I'm like I think I am the pre-step to the next step of awesomeness, like like there's always shit before the evolution. I'm kind of like the ah, fuck, let's, let's pull these, these problems out and then learn from him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, you're that first fish I'm frankenstein before they turn him into wolverine, you know they're like, uh, conceptually so long story shorter. Um, I, I knew it was just two steps forward, one step back. Two steps forward, one step back, and it was more. Just because I, I was only quitting because I was supposed to like, I said I had no reason and it was extremely frustrating because, uh, this is exactly what somebody says as an issue with an alcohol or a coping mechanism. My the following is it actually turned off all these mental tabs that I have on? That's why I'm going a million miles an hour.
Speaker 2:Now I got 30 things on my mind. It, it normalized me. You know, and I'm I just read it.
Speaker 1:I just read an article about that why a lot of people with hdh, adhd and um obsessive compulsive disorder also drink.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it dials everything down and there's even um again, insert disclaimer. Here I saw something. Uh, if I was to quote huberman, there is a. This is really bastardized. There is a genetic makeup or some part of the populace that actually functions better with alcohol in their system. That's a very loose bastardization of what he said. You know it's not he and he actually says in the video something like it's not a high functioning alcoholic, that's one thing for sure.
Speaker 2:But it talked about how people it. It speaks to the problem at the root. But it is an interesting thing in that the people that consume it you know whether it's adhd or you know ocd or whatever I am it does help them turn like. I always talk about web browsers. I have, I have multiple browsers, multiple monitors, all with multiple tabs open.
Speaker 2:It turned me off, chilled me out. I wasn't drunk. When Betty got home I actually didn't even get drunk because I had such a tolerance. But it was just more on paper, because I knew it was a sign of something that wasn't rocket science, but it was just because it was so clinically unhealthy, and that's really the only quote-unquote. Why? Just because it was so clinically unhealthy, and that's really the only quote unquote. Why?
Speaker 2:Um and the uh, the root stuff is still fuck all as far as being worked on like time, now it's still, it's still a thing, just sans, uh, alcohol, you know, and it's super sucked because it was again, it's not good, but it was a coping mechanism. It actually provided me coping, which, on paper, when somebody goes, hey, this thing's gonna help you cope, well, that sounds great, but for me it was substantial amounts of alcohol. You know, for some people it's weed, you know, or other or other psychedelics or whatever you know, and and and. So that's the long short answer to that where that went, and and it's, uh, it sucks, man, because I do like having a glass of whiskey by a fire. You know, like that is one of my most peaceful things on the planet is to build a campfire, have a glass of scotch and just sit there with a dog, like that is probably more therapeutic than any that group or therapy thing like that is so therapeutic.
Speaker 1:And, um, yeah, and I mean you know I, um, I gave up alcohol, not because you know I, I did lean on it when I was going through my worst and there was there was a fear that like hey, this gets easier and easier every time I lean on it. And one of the big things that I I talk about is I wanted to, and I think it was the warrant officer in me is like okay, I want to break this down. Why is this thing something that I'm still doing, even though I know people are dying? People like me are susceptible to this? I sat down, I broke it down and really looked at why I drank to begin with.
Speaker 1:When did I start drinking? When did it become a thing for me to drink and how much did I enjoy it? And just sitting down and just wargaming it On a whiteboard, writing it all out, and I come to realize I was never going to a place to drink and to enjoy it. I was always using it to feel more comfortable, because I was around a whole bunch of people feeling like I had to feel, and that was the big thing. I felt like I had to.
Speaker 1:And then, if I drank at home, was I really drinking to enjoy it or was I doing it to escape something? Now then I realized, okay, take it back even further when in my life, in my youth, that I really enjoyed it. Now it's always things that you thought you had to do to fit in, yeah. And that's when I realized, like I don't ever go on my own to a place to go drink, I never seek it out. And then when the next thing was like, okay, let's get comfortable being that person, that odd man out at events, yeah, it's like everybody that was in my, in the honest, that was the biggest thing. Like I'm gonna go hang out with friends or I'm gonna go meet individuals that I want to, you know, potentially have a networking event, be part of a networking event and be able to like, mingle and and talk to these people.
Speaker 1:Everybody always has a drink and I just started getting water, yeah, and making it, and then just nonchalantly like hey, no, no big deal I'm driving, and then if people continue to press forward, it's like okay, I don't. Yeah, there's and making it and making a known factor of like I'm not uncomfortable with this. And if it makes you uncomfortable, or bring something out that speaks volumes for you, man.
Speaker 1:Let me just drink my my shitty drink by myself. Let me drink my liquid death and be fine. And I realized that the experiences that I always assumed that were like fun, for me it was like no, they going to a bar never. Yeah, it was never fun. And like I always stressed out social anxiety, having to be around people that I maybe didn't want to be around. Maybe I just needed to slam those drinks to get comfortable and I realized I don't like the nightlife, I don't like going to clubs, I don't like going to bars. That's easy. I'll cut that out of my life.
Speaker 1:And then, when it comes to like the, the situations of being around dudes and like hanging out, being a campfire, been able to do all those things, been able to literally do all the things you just shared, and removing the alcohol made it so much better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh, shout out to my buddy. Uh, john wayne, we had this amazing outdoor backpacking overland trip and uh, and it was all green berets, all green berets, all soft guys, not one single drink the entire time. And we're sitting there realizing, like you know, I'm perfectly sober at that point. So is john wayne, a few of the guys weren't and they're like man, this is the longest I've gone without drinking. And we're like I'm missing out on anything. Are you like? No, I'm really not, and it's like. It's one of those things where it's like man, like and more more guys need to do that honest broker, that honest assessment, to figure out and if you figure out it's good for you, you want to continue doing it like good, yeah, but be aware that it can quickly become something that you're just doing just because that's the scary thing, a billion percent.
Speaker 2:I think I had this weird um inverse alcohol history in that, uh, I was really boring in college. I, I, I didn't drink till I was like 22 and even then I didn't really live the college experience. Um, I was and then like I would have spikes, like maybe every once, maybe once a month or something, but like they were the very I'd had the traditional I'm drinking to get plastered drunk moments, but they were like once every couple months. There was no like I'm drinking a nice scotch, cause I was in college you didn't drink a nice scotch and that never happened. But then I went off and joined.
Speaker 2:When I joined the military because I actually joined older I was kind of I was a little bit behind, so I didn't relate to my dumb ass 18, 19 year old peers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I couldn't really hang out with my rank here, so I was, and as a Delta I was kind of sitting out of my ass to speak. But this speaks volumes and this will actually apply to you, me and probably any of your listeners is that when you have healthy distractions, some might call it purpose, some might just call it, even if it's a job you hate, but it's, you know, you, you have a quote, unquote reason in an ideal world of purpose, like that's a little bit more median and meaningful. But for me, going through the q course and all that, it gave me a purpose. So like I would drink because I liked it, I might get once in a blue moon, like me, I think, graduation, like I really didn't do anything because the delta course had me super stressed. Uh, I didn't party, I didn't get it. I some of my peers they pissed me off like they were, like just they could party on the weekends and still pass and I was just.
Speaker 1:I know those motherfuckers, yeah, and I had to study. I know those motherfuckers are intellectual, yeah, and it just infuriated me and so like I didn't really need it.
Speaker 2:Um, I got blitzed every once in a while, like the seals, because that was a whole like who has a bigger penis contest, because I do.
Speaker 2:And so, but like other than that, like there weren't like big things and it wasn't until. And then I went off and did the firefighter thing. I did a couple, you know, I'd have every once in a while. And then I went off and did that stupid California thing and I was distracted by purpose or chasing, some sort of thing. You know chasing for me because I joined older, I was less susceptible to doing like young guy bullshit. So I was chasing the green beret and I was chasing being a firefighter after breaking my back as a green beret, so like I had a super focus. And then I went chased that Hollywood bullcrap and that gave me super focus and I was old and boring.
Speaker 2:And then it wasn't until COVID where, like I did the inverse thing, where like a lot of our guys get out, especially a lot of our, our peers get out, and all of a sudden like the brakes halt, like I call that. I call like a like this purpose inertia wave for a lot of people. They have that inertia and I was very fortunate like that inertia went through, you know, college, uh, the SF life, firefighting, chasing, the california bullcrap, and it just kept. I luckily everything overlaps so I never had a moment of like. I never had that with a lot of green berets, or anybody, I should say, but we only know from other green berets that, oh fuck, what's next moment?
Speaker 2:And it wasn't until I kind of had this weird pause with the California life and that wave just stopped. And then I was suddenly transported back to where a lot of my peers are when they first DTS after 20 years of being in a group, and I was like this is what they feel like to have no purpose, no idea what the fuck they're going to do. And that's where it caught up and that's where it hit me. Is this weird? So I was like almost like 10 years behind, yeah.
Speaker 2:A hundred weird. So I was like almost like 10 years behind. Yeah, 100 was like well, I do, and I was at the age where I like good tasting scotch so I liked it for enjoyment, like I truly, and I was like, okay if I get a buzz bonus. I always have said if somebody could actually make a gentleman jack, could freaking make a non-alcoholic gentleman jack, I would buy it.
Speaker 1:I love the taste yeah, dude, I think we gotta look this up. I don't quote me on this audience. Don't fact check me. I think somebody's making um something I've explored it tastes like it tastes like somebody liquefied a maple tree.
Speaker 2:it's, I'm not, it's it, it, it. It is to what, like wheatgrass shakes, tastes like to wet grass. As to what would taste like to a liquefied log. It's. Yeah, I tried, I really tried the only thing.
Speaker 2:I found is Sam Adams. I love Sam Adams. That's not like the best beer in the planet, but they actually make a non-alcoholic. It tastes really fucking good, like I can pound those all day long, anyway. So, long story short, that made me realize that whole, and I'm still in the middle of it. To be brutally honest, like that whole, like what the fuck purpose thing?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I let's dive into that man, like what happened in you, you um say your california period. What, let, what? Uh, let's bring it back to you. What led you to um pursue this path down?
Speaker 2:when I was a kid and I've said this countless times and I still truly mean it I, I, I always wanted to be rambo and like legitimately saw rambo and I and I hadn't fully formed you know, I hadn't fully from like there's people that make movies even you know I wasn't an idiot, but it never formed me, like that would be a thing. Like there's people on my tv that that act out these plays you mean they're in?
Speaker 2:the computer and so it didn't fully form that way. My dad is an er doctor and so, like I was around, quote-unquote normalcy, like you go to college, you go to a good job. You, you know, retire, die. And he didn't beat that into me by any means, to his credit, but that just was my, what I expected. Um, so I went the normal, the quote-unquote normal, route, did high school, college, and I just kept beating the college horse to death, just beat it up, beat it to death. I didn't graduate. After four years of watching spider-man and sleeping in like I didn party. I didn't do anything cool, I just had no incentive to be in college. Yeah, took a year off and that year was just hell on earth. Went back to college in my home state for in-state tuition, beat the horse to death, beat the horse, beat the horse to death, enlisted, came back and then finally, after, uh, after the Green Beret issue, divorced, you know, I had the whole. That was come to Jesus phase. You know, number one of. So what should I do? It was just me, a dog in Colorado Springs, and a lot of my friends go. Since you were a kid, you know, we've known you for a long time. Okay, you've done this practical thing. You went and did like the literal, practical Rambo thing. You know you got what you wanted out of it.
Speaker 2:Long story short, I broke my back, but not in the cool Hollywood way, but enough to make me go. Do I want to stay? Do I want to go? I don't mind getting back to that by any means, but for the sake of this did that. And then I said you know what, fuck it, I will regret it. It was the same reason I did the Green Beret thing. I was like if I don't do this, I'll regret it. I hate regret. It's not like it's an easy quote to misquote, but Arnold Schwarzenegger says regret sucks. I fucking hate regret. That is one of my biggest fuels. I was like, fine, I'll go for it. It's like the antithetical thing of how guys like us are designed. Definitely how I'm designed is to go do something. That's so you literally have no say in your career, like you know you can. I can Oprah it and talk about the secret and be all artsy-fartsy as much as I want, but it's I can't. Green beret you pass checkpoints, you become a green beret, like it's not that black and white, obviously, but it's more your fate is in your hands and other assessors obviously in cadre. But if you check, you pass these checkpoints, it's more or less certain you'll be at least given a really good chance.
Speaker 2:So, uh, before I got too old, I wanted to do it because as a kid I was like, fuck, I love making movies, that would be really cool.
Speaker 2:And I was actually thinking, because I knew we'd ask it. And I was thinking about it today, like I made a reel the other day from um the uh, the scene from sorry it's, it's seals, because they're in everything, of course, but from tears of the bruce wills movie, tears of the sun, and I I look at it like those movies, whether not just because they're military movies I don't want to be that cliche but like just movies that make you just go fuck, yeah, or if you're sad or whatever. And I think that is why I wanted to do that shit. I was like that just seems awesome, know to get paid to pretend, and then, yeah, after you know about a decade of it, it's Dickie and there's. You know, there's a lot out of your hands and a lot of guys like us. It's not exactly our world, you know as much as a cause and effect, and so that can get a little bit demoralizing.
Speaker 2:And so I don't know if I even answered your question, but yeah, so yeah, it wasn't. Covid happened and then LA shut down and that kind of had an age and all that. I kind of had a lot of come to Jesus as of like what matters. I had a huge service dog that I've had, a big actually. I got during my divorce ETSing from a group transitioning into firefighting, and my sister at the time goes you need to get a dog With the undertone of like, you need to keep something alive. I'm worried about you.
Speaker 2:And she wasn't wrong. That dog has been like that dog in I Am Legend, that Will Smith movie. That dog was a connected service dog by definition and metaphorically she passed. I had moved to Atlanta to get out of hollywood atlanta.
Speaker 2:it was like la 2.0, she passed, yeah it's a big film and tv it is, and it's a little bit more like us. Um, a lot of the stunt people are there and they're more, dare I say, the blue collar grunts who I related to more like. I like the artsy, fartsy pretend shit, don't get me wrong, I've done a lot of it but I relate more to like the crew and the stunt people because they're like I don't know if it's going to crucify me, but they're kind of like just a worker beast dude, but there's a shitload of soft guys are going into the stunt work I I have seen.
Speaker 2:I mean you go to linkedin and you'll see a little former ranger bat guys from a group guys seals like all working in Hollywood and Atlanta, as well as stuntmen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, frigging, it's like I can only imagine. I mean it's, we all know how to fall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the thing is. And again, it's it's. It's because there's no, there's no product. It's not like they check your background, which is good and bad, because I always call it Hollywood psyop, and good and bad because I always call it hollywood psyop. And and guys like us you know, we you can extrapolate what that means is it's.
Speaker 2:I will never change their rules because it's, it's a bigger beast, but I will. I will find a way to infiltrate my way in without, like, uh, breaking my own code or my own morals. I will bend the shit out of them, but I will gut. I want to be like dave batista inside the the thing and like guardians of the ox 3, where he cuts his way out from the inside. I'm going to go in there and get swallowed by the Hollywood beast, but I will cut my way out and kill it on my way out. You know that's how I look at it, is that?
Speaker 2:But the dog passing I was in Atlanta, covid happened and that was like a lot of pauses and I actually made a mantra when that dog passed that I'd'd go okay. How, you know the proverbial, how long are you going to do this? And that was what I said, yeah, I'd made a pact with myself when I, when I put before years, before I had put her down, and I was like, when izzy goes, like that'll be my time to assess, and that's when I started making the priorities of, of what matters, and that's where, like that inertia way, like it was talking about, kind of came crashing down. So I was like, oh fuck, I'm not living, eating and breathing this Hollywood crap. So now, what do I do, you know? Do I open up a coffee thing? Do I start a t-shirt business? Do I start a, you know? And so like I'll start a podcast and it got yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's to this time now.
Speaker 2:It's still very much like what the fuck, you know, and it's a very surreal empathetic thing where, like, oh, this is what I can think of, like three different green berries off the top of my head that I've been connected to since I left, and they left and I'm like I see where they were going through. I luckily had shiny distraction things that I was able to just drag out for a decade plus, you know, and they were, and so it kind of, uh, that got really deep but yeah, so that was, that was, uh, yeah, just kind of switched priorities that hold getting old bullshit, um, you know, and and and exhaustion. You know, like what, what I did in my youth, especially in my early days in LA, I, I, I whine if my pillow wasn't right, whereas in la I was like, literally, there was a point I was sleeping and somebody that converted a tough shed into a room, like it was, you know, and that was kind of a good thing about being green beret going into hollywood. I was like, do you think this doesn't suck?
Speaker 1:I've used the phrase.
Speaker 2:I should coin it, but I called it. I have a toilet. I was like I'm not pooping my it all comes back to pooping your pants Full circle.
Speaker 1:We did it, jeff, exactly. How do you like that? But like yeah.
Speaker 2:I call my spectrum of suck is like what truly does suck is what we've been through. Guys that have been wearing way longer than me. Like you and others, your spectrum of suck is way wider. So a boot who my tootsies hurt on set. I can't roll my eyes enough, and when somebody is complaining about their feet hurting, you know I'm just like I don't want to be that bro vet. But internally I'm like I want to rip your heart out like Colleen Moss style, because you are a fucking bitch. You know so.
Speaker 2:But with that comes exhaustion. You know you can only go and it's. I'm a huge hypocrite. So I hated hearing people say the shit when I was going a million miles an hour with like life's just a marathon, not a sprint, and I was like, well, fuck it, I'm just gonna, I'll die of a heart attack running a sprint pace. But lo and behold, it isn't sustainable. And then it comes that better. She comes crashing down and, uh, you're left with. You're kind of just left with like fuck. And I'm actually really dicky about this.
Speaker 2:When it comes to like hollywood stuff and people their dreams, I try not to be too big of a dick, but I'm very much careful because we only see the cool shit on social media, we only see the success. When I see positive people posting all this happy, happy, happy, optimistic bullshit about Hollywood, I'm like no, you don't pay your bills with those happy thoughts. I kind of shit on it because I'm like like people need to tamper expectations. You know, I don't want people just hug and go. If you go to the q course, you're gonna make it if you believe it.
Speaker 2:You know I had a. I had a. I fought with this girl. You know like la people were definitely didn't jive with me but I'd always related to the green beret thing and she's like she was very much into that. Manifest oprah, the secret stuff, yeah, yeah and I'm in awe of it. Like they're happy. She was happy and ignorant and I'm like props to you. But you know I was like I don't get how you think that way. I couldn't happy, thought my way through deployments or the star course or whatever the fuck.
Speaker 1:No, I was like you can't manifest a category and she goes why intentionally fucking you? And I just I was like I was floored at that headspace of going she goes.
Speaker 2:Well, I intentionally fucking you and I just I was like I was floored at that headspace of going she goes, well, I'm. You know, if I think enough about a career, that's, you know, I'll get that phone call. I was like I couldn't translate that and I failed. I I appreciate that optimism because I don't have it, but I think there needs to be somebody in the middle going, use that, but don't rely on it.
Speaker 2:And I so I kind of constantly shit on it a lot of things when it comes to social media. Like I had a hashtag going because of something mike roe said called consider quitting you know, because some people like they beat that manifest secret, you know, optimism stuff to death. And then lo and behold their 46 year old guy with cancer, no college degree and has no purpose because he like beat that thing to death and like well, I want to and I I will, I will politely push back, yeah I'm very hard on myself this we are.
Speaker 1:This is this um. This is a a constant thread. Maybe that's. This is the um, the thread of the month. This is one thing. I am cal newport um, again, I've mentioned it just in a few other podcasts this, uh, this this month. But great author. I have several of his books right here. Uh, recommend deep work. It's a great book.
Speaker 1:But cal newport had this great, amazing ted talk where he basically shit on everybody had a dream. He's like you're not gonna make it, yeah, yeah, stop trying to go for your passion, your piece of shit. Because here's all this, all this true evidence of people that went for their passion. Yeah, and they fucking suck and they're failed. And fucking, tim Cook's a piece of shit. And Steve Jobs lied to you when he said chase your purpose and passion, because he didn't do it himself and if he did, we wouldn't have that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I will will say you know, cal, my homeboy, you're right for a lot of people. Yes, find you know, follow, follow cal's information when he says go find a job or, uh, something that's a value to someone and be really good at that. Make yourself really valuable. You'll make lots of money and then, when you have all that money you can go do the thing you really love. Yeah, that's great advice for young people, um, that haven't done shit for anything and haven't gone off and fought in war, um. But I will counter that and I will say this like if your dream is to do x and Z and maybe that first go wasn't going right, do the Green Beret thing Fucking.
Speaker 1:Look at every variable, look at every single thing you can. Look at others within your realm, within your sphere, that you can freaking connect with to get that little four momentum you have served. And to all you listening out there going through transition, be willing to bet on yourself. Yeah, be willing to fucking look at the data. Cause let me tell you there's a lot of people that told me I should just go go do insurance and a lot of people that said maybe you just go do contract work, go do that.
Speaker 2:But go do the same thing.
Speaker 1:The same thing is not going to get you anywhere close to where you want to be. Maybe Safe thing is not going to get you anywhere close to where you want to be. Maybe you're stressed out and you got to figure out a way to put food on the table. So you do that one secure thing. I get it, I understand completely. But at some point you have to do the deep work and reflect and figure out what you're passionate about and realize. And, just like Scott Mann said a little bit ago, if I don't fucking do this one thing, if I don't do this one fucking thing, I'm going to fucking die. Yes, yeah, that is passion. Yeah, and you have to honor and listen to that. You do absolutely have to put food on table. You gotta find income.
Speaker 1:But one thing that we're really good at as veterans is fucking working and outworking other motherfuckers. So maybe you do get a job doing x, y and z, but then you continue chasing your fucking dream, continue chasing your purpose. Why? Here's the whole reason. Here's the whole reason behind it. 20 fucking years you've been gone, and by you I mean all of us, all veterans. You've been gone fighting a fucking war and you signed a dotted line to go do somebody else's bidding and to support and save the guys and gals to your left and right and do everything you could to be a fucking amazing service member. You owe it to yourself and to your kids and everybody that that is around your sphere to chase your fucking dreams. Don't fucking wait till you're 70 or 80 in that fucking old person's home to be like I want to be a fucking professional five fishermen.
Speaker 1:Well, it's too late for you, jimmy. You're about to fucking die. You can't do that exactly. Are you fucking happy? Of course not, and it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, like fuck, jeff, I, I see the struggle. Yeah, you are very generous with your wounds. You're very generous showing fuck, this is hard. All right, take a knee, take me readdress. Take a knee, take a knee, readdress, fucking. Take a knee. Drink water, face out, reattack man. Because let me tell you something Every motherfucker out there loves a comeback. Start 100%. And maybe it's not today, it's not tomorrow, maybe it's fucking next month, maybe it's just readjusting and fucking connecting with the next guy. Connecting Because, just like you said earlier, you're now experiencing that same transition. Shit that all your buddies did right off the bat is just your face, it's just your turn. Yeah, you just got to keep fucking treading water. Man, tread water, but can catch your breath, recover because, dude, you're, you're not, you're not out of the fucking fight dog you're not out of the fight, that's right.
Speaker 2:You're not out of the fucking fight, and that's right. And I'm a boarding on? Well, I'm not boarding, I am a hypocrite and I'll tell people that if I could extrapolate everything you just said from me, the good. If you will. I still 100% believe in that and actually I believe in it more the more I get kind of that boohoo, poor me, jaded, beat down, like what the fuck exhausted thing? I actually. There's a point where exhaustion, or whether you want to call it exhaustion, midlife crisis or whatever weird perspectives that make you value things, it's. I have the word triage tattooed on me, not because of 18 delta bullshit, but like, which I hate because people think that, but I've always valued triage ased on me, not because of 18 delta bullshit, but like, which I hate because people think that.
Speaker 2:But I've always valued triage as a morbid, selective phase of what is going to kill you. First, I, I loved triage before I even joined the military, um, so it was a huge mantra for me and obviously I had this weird path that, coincidentally just synced in with mass casualty. You know, I was like, oh, wow, shit, I've been doing triage since I was in diapers, you know. But like, uh, it now adds more value to what the fuck matters.
Speaker 2:So I, I do believe that I I'm hypocritical in my mental, I guess, side of that. Or like the, the, the consistent application, before I let the poo poo, let me take it, because I, I do firmly like to my core, agree, and and pushed like, yes, putting food on your table, yada, yada, trust me, I, like, I fight for that and I do believe in like, what matt, like, does this x bullshit matter? Because, at the end of the day, on your bedside, when you're dying, who's gonna matter? What's gonna matter? That you chase your dream, that you chase your dream or you're not. And then, yeah, that's the part I'm if you will lack of better terms struggling with, is finding that I hate this word so much the balance, embrace it.
Speaker 1:You know like.
Speaker 2:I hate I got to find the balance in that because I was fortunate up until where.
Speaker 2:I'm going to keep referencing that inertia wave crash to just be able to situationally, logistically, mentally or whatever go a billion miles an hour and have everything. Even if it wasn't in my favor, my mental headspace of chasing it or hunting was in my favor, or some things were slightly going in my way, so it was slightly in my favor. So it was enough of some sort of metaphorical Coke-ical Coke fueled inertia that I was like that I could just keep on trucking, keep on trucking, keep on trucking. And uh, then it crashed. And I that's where I'm with you in that. Yes, what matters is is like, cause you're going to, you're going to and even actually I got more pissed when I got this cancer diagnosis bullshit.
Speaker 2:So I was like, fuck, I'm pissed that I. You know, I chased the Hollywood stuff Like I. Just, like guys like us, we go a million miles an hour to a. Sometimes that's a good thing, but sometimes it's at a fault. So, like you know, if I did this Hollywood thing to a billion miles an hour but I would choose to not go visit family on holidays, I really appreciate this. I remember, um, you know a war story. We got to have those, of course, I remember one of my deployments where, uh, my parents had to mail me a ziploc full of one, two, three batteries.
Speaker 2:I just, and I still actually have the ziploc here less than four feet from me, because my dad I wonder where I get this from. He's a doctor and he's really good with his money and but he also has the same issues I have, if not worse. He's like, well, he needs a couple batteries. He fucking probably got me a pallet worth of one, two, three batteries. They have been lasting me since. That's why I still literally have the zip-line bag. I have those that he bought me. That many batteries. I just remember messaging him.
Speaker 2:I was like like, oh, batteries are short, he's like okay, you know he airdrops me like a pallet of batteries.
Speaker 2:I was like thanks dad god, embarrassing me in front of my friends, but this is also the same deployment where we went into one of the team rooms and on the whiteboard it said um, from our team sergeant, this is like and it's we just saw it recently in one of the latest things um, where kamal was saying something like you know, there's no more combat troops. Who was the president at the time? I can't remember who the president was at the time, but that night, uh, we were watching on all of our monitors that said you know clinton, I don't even know it wasn't clinton. Um, it's just like there are no longer combat troops and we're literally jamming mags heading out and right, and this before social media was like super cool and I was like this is, yeah, odd and then the next yeah, that was, that was 2010, because I was, I was there too and I was in the 82nd.
Speaker 1:They did this huge fucking tinker tape thing with 10th mountain leaving and they're like this is the last of the combat troops. I remember like, uh, we're still in fucking ramadi, what? And I remember that.
Speaker 2:I want to say it was the same week and my brain is. I wish I could blame more trauma, but I just I too many things are firing. The synapses finally just fried. I think it was the same week. We went around into the team room and the team started on our whiteboard everything was erased and it just said no more nine millimeters. Save what you have. I was like didn't we just hear the news.
Speaker 2:We're not in combat anymore, apparently, and we're also out of ammo. We're we're winchester before we've even left the team house, so nice nice, that's a good feeling.
Speaker 1:The summary of my rambling before the computer.
Speaker 2:The computer had an ai. Censoring of me is. I'm all for that and I completely agree with all that. But the thing I wish and that's where I kind of stop people from going too crazy is that whole regret sucks goes both ways. So if that and the.
Speaker 1:Thing.
Speaker 2:I love Mike Rowe. He talks about his mom. She spent something like 60 years trying to publish and it wasn't until she published her first book in 70. And this is a beautiful thing. I some days when I'm feeling really whiny and poopoo, lived. I'll repost this thing, cause he's micro is obviously way more eloquent than me when he talks about it. He goes. Some people would argue good for her. She was resilient, she stuck it out. He goes, I argue she. She spent her whole life to do this. And now what you know, and I was like no, no side is wrong, you know, because that regret can go both ways and and yeah, and mike, mike does a good way.
Speaker 2:That's where I stole that, that's what I'm saying is like the way he words. It is less, it's very um subject or objective. It doesn't say don't chase your dreams, but it also doesn't say chase until you're 80 either. That's why I extrapolated that whole yeah, consider quitting mantra. And you know like, okay, cool, I chased and I did all that thing a million miles an hour.
Speaker 2:I missed so many family holidays because I was. I was okay, living the broke life, sleeping in sheds, but I couldn't afford to go see my family. Now I'm like that fucking sucks. Dad and mom are getting old and I missed so many years seeing them. So I'm like there's that balance. And then my final thing that I love this point you'll love, I know you'll agree, because you talked about the people going million miles an hour and then later in life you know like cherishing it. Yeah, I the thing I'll always hear people like I know the rock. I use the rock all the time because apparently I have a jealousy issue. But he talks about he's like, oh, I wish I would have been spent more time with my family and all that.
Speaker 2:It's like you wouldn't be who you are had you not made those decisions to sacrifice family, to be where you're at, had you chosen family first? And you know, stop and smell the roses, you probably be. You know, working at a, at a gas station, you know those very sacrifices is what got you where you are and I that's. So. That's why I was like I kind of shit on those moments when I hear people say that I'm like, yeah, but stop and think before you sell your soul on this concept and possibly, you know, risk half your life on this on a gamble. You know, assess, like you're saying, assess all your ingredients before you before you go all in, because that ignorance eventually, not ignorance, but there's a faith in ignorance, or sometimes a really fine line, sometimes the fallout is the same. The fallout doesn't care how you got there, whether it was ignorance or faith. It was supposed to be dark and optimistic. It's so true, man.
Speaker 1:It's hard being me, it's life. You got to figure out what's worth.
Speaker 2:well, I literally have a poster, if you see those things to see, like my life in weeks where you actually mark away your, your weight. Shit is unsettling you know, yeah, it's not that big of a fucking poster.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of black on it now. But there's a guy, actually a guy I I'll bastardize, and he talks about how, um, to invert what most people do. Most people, like, spend their life getting normalcy, paying the bills, getting their life settled before. They're like now I'm gonna, you know, travel the world, and they're like I'm fucking 60 and my knees hurt. You know he's like and I it's too late for me, and you even, but like he goes. You know, consider inverting. I travel the world and do all that shit. Obviously if you're 20, you're not, you know, funds are a little different, yeah, but then he goes. It's easier to go back to college and do all the normal stuff when you're kind of old and tired. I'm like huh, yeah, it is good interesting point.
Speaker 1:I feel like an academic freaking savant compared to these.
Speaker 2:I just started college for the first time after yes proud of you, man I'm fucking proud of you.
Speaker 2:You can fucking I chose to go. I chose to go to the theater route to finish my well, good, good, but also, can you think of a more again? If they ever hear this or listening? I'm not shitting on these humans, they're great people, but a more polar opposite 18 year old theater student to 46 year old former green beret, jaded and hating life bro I can, I just you know scott man bringing uh, pineapple, express he when he first started exploring that concept of theater, because he he had this idea, burning passion to create this play um, I think that's coming here.
Speaker 1:He wanted to do it and he had to figure out how to do it and he started taking a little coaching on the side and then finally he went to new york but he kept doing it like sort of like hitting cloak and dagger type shit, like a trench coat walking in.
Speaker 1:But what he realized when he got there is he had passion for sort of these kids and when he went there and he almost walked away, that that teacher, that theater, a teacher, was willing to tell him like no, you belong here, you belong here. 100 veterans have been storytellers since the fucking invention of war like there is something burning within you.
Speaker 1:We can refine it absolutely. You learn how to tell it through a play. So, bro, you are where you deserve to be. Don't let these fucking kids like kid. That for one, I feel that life experience has not only taught me how to speak to a lot of kids, because you know they're, it's an indoctrination center and and they, they are being forced with this stuff and I will more than gladly dive into the, the, the collegiate discourse to be like I know actually that, yeah, I'm an immigrant and I I don't feel that white people ever cut me down in fact, I've had tons of opportunities and they're like their brains can't comprehend.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna bring you to school for my next show and tell man I need you to come with me. I'll put a little little papoose on my back please, please.
Speaker 1:And here is a, a hispanic man that has not been kept down by the white man. Nope, hey, hi. I fought with lots of great white people. Love them, can't say enough great things, yeah, it is. You're so divided and in college, when they're met with these ideas that gently counter the forced narrative they have, it's like look man, I have served and I've fought with every race, color and creed and I can tell you right now I've never felt that's not to say that some of the people's experience is wildly different.
Speaker 2:They've experienced some atrocious things.
Speaker 1:But from my lived experience as an immigrant, as a first generation college student, as somebody who's a proud, naturalized American citizen, this country has given me so much and I came here in one hell of an origin story and I am proud to say this country has given me the opportunity and I had to act on that opportunity. Um so it's dude, I feel you going back to school as an older, uh, but don't be, don't feel down.
Speaker 2:I definitely uh, I definitely don't much turn into dark humor because, just like the whole liver and alcohol thing circling back, I had to do a test case, so like since I did college back from 96 to 2003. Ish, four, ish, that phase of college military, firefighting, hollywood, whatever, all that crap. And then back to college. I have decades of space between my college experiences to like compare notes and it's. It's a fascinating case study. It's out my soul's expensed. But if I ever publish this paper or something you know, it is a very fascinating thing to see. You know whether it was a very. It was a liberal arts college in Washington to Idaho State University, to University of Nebraska in 2024. It's just a and my poor soul is like which I can't.
Speaker 2:Who am I competing? I don't know, and then you know, and obviously the age difference in the life experience you bring to it, you're is it? Ignorance is a is a wonderful thing, like there are days where you're just like I wish I didn't know what I knew.
Speaker 1:Man, you know and you know exactly, in the matrix I gotta drink this away.
Speaker 2:But I had to quit that no, but you're right, like the theater thing it is, it is fascinating, it's uh, like it is a real. Until you said that it's funny, because I would say some of the most like, because I did theater in college and I did there. I went to like a super ultra method acting four-year conservatory in la and it was very it's, it's one of the deeper ones, if you will, and there was a couple vets there and for some and they were doing it more just like, almost like, just bored and curious, whereas I'm like my life depends on my career, you know.
Speaker 2:So I was like a little stressed. I wasn't enjoying it much, I guess, or I was looking at it more like a course I had to take for betterment versus like enjoyment. You know, like that whole uh, doing things that you know to the hundred, a hundredth degree. But they were actually the ones that, like the vets, were the ones that were kind of more I don't want to say better actors like that simplifies it but they were more in touch with like a, a saturation of, like you said, storytelling. You know of, like you said, storytelling. You know if you get enough dudes in the military, I only know dudes, just because NSF, at the time we were in it was just dudes. And also this also has me now because of the college years we're in.
Speaker 2:I'm always walking on glass because we definitely are in a different social structure right now and I try to be respectful. I know my audience, stand my ground, be respectful, take my battles yada, battles, yada, yada. But also makes me like constantly, like who have I offended? Oh god, what have I said wrong? Yeah, like I got and I'm not even gonna get into it, but like I got, pronoun checked multiple times at school and it's. I'm not an asshole, but I don't think in certain ways, and that's just an example. So I'm constantly going which link I don't just constantly in this phase of stuttering. Just call everybody mate.
Speaker 1:Just call everybody mate, like you're british. It works, that's true. So that's why I got all stuttery there.
Speaker 2:But in the military we were in, there were no females in nsf, so that's why I'm not being inclusive, because they weren't and I canceled what is it the end?
Speaker 2:I think rocky five, sue me for what, like, oh, take away my hollywood career, darn. But like there were some dudes in this in, uh, like the dudes in sf, like you get the right guy drunk, or just the storytellers or the comedian or you know, like they could tell yarns and I was like that's why man's and you know the, uh, the last, the, his, his play, like it comes from a place. Like there's a reason those guys can tell those stories so comfortably, whereas, like the artsy fartsy kid at this school, they're stressed and like what's my motivation? What would deniro do? Meanwhile, a marine dude is just crushing it because he's just tapping into something like he told. How many stories has he told drunk at a bar? And it was, yeah, you know. And I'm just sitting in the back eating my popcorn going, oh my god, watch this guy just lose it, you know, and and it's, it's a fascinating thing. So we went off the rails, yeah, dude yeah, that's all good.
Speaker 1:That's what we do on the show I still can't wait for your hat.
Speaker 2:I'm so excited about that dude no, that is genius dude.
Speaker 1:Jeff, I can't thank you enough for coming here, but before I let you go, man um dude you mentioned cancer and I I have to be able to dive into this, because this is something that a lot of us are now. I mean it is. It was brought up in a giant memorandum from uh the big boss, that we all have to start getting checked. Man, like, how did you find out and where?
Speaker 2:are you at in this cancer journey? Uh, long story short, I say that a lot and it never comes true. The um, my dad got it, uh, and I'm gonna basically out some family members here. So you, you know, as a man, every time you go to the, you know the doctor, like it's just default. They say you know, is there a history of heart disease or cancer in your family? And you say yes or no. Three of his brothers, his older brothers, my dad's the baby. They apparently had had this cancer and didn't. They didn't tell anybody and they were able to fight it, beat it quickly and move on because they caught it early. They didn't tell baby, brother or dad. So I'm trying to be really tactful, but there's a special place in hell for these guys. And so my poor dad, the baby of the family, he actually might die before his older brothers because they failed to tell him. If I was to tell you they had some sort of Trump Ricky Lake talk show relationship, you'd be like, oh, no one did anything to him. They actually, up until this, had a good relationship like a normal brother's relationship. It's very confusing. It's still a weird thing in our family as to why nobody said anything.
Speaker 2:Dad kind of took the brunt of it as he did the right thing. He called me, my brother and my sister, and said, hey, get some shit checked out. We actually had some testing done and that's where I said we have the worst mutation possible. Instead of getting, you know, adamantium claws, I got these three cancer mutations. That basically promised me to get two out of these three genetic mutations. So I knew it was coming, if you will, um, so since I was almost like 35 ish, I had been screening way in advance because, like they don't tell you to start screening but then you add to that deployment, you know deployment? I mean there's even studies that um. Do you know jeff dardia of task force dagger? I love all the studies he talks about just sheer, not because special operations are better, but just from the sheer statistical standpoint of the amount of ammo we handle. It's not because we think we're better, but I know yeah, no, it's a good it's.
Speaker 2:It's a group, uh, it's a great community to study because everything is right there, you know, you can take a radiology tech that has to qualify the range every nine months. They touch maybe 30 rounds, we touch 30 rounds in 10 minutes. And then we, like you know I love his studies, you know and we eat. We eat all that lead, you know. So, uh, because of him and Task Force Dagger, you know. So we ate all the lead, or we, you know, we have a predilection for it. So I knew that I ate enough. Fire at the fire department.
Speaker 2:Obviously, I'm a ball of stress, so, whatever belief system people have. As far as your spirit, fueling cancer, I definitely had the trifecta of it and I was actually doing good, doing good, doing good. And I get my labs checked quarterly and, um, it's prostate cancer, um, and so you get a psa, it's prostate specific antigen. Every guy gets it. It should start getting it. I think around 45 is the thing I would say. Ask your doctor to throw it in your labs earlier. It's not going to hurt, it's like it's not going to cost you anything if you have decent insurance.
Speaker 2:My labs were zero, zero, zero, zero. That's december flight version. And then it went up to like six. It went six fold, and this was in may. So this of this year and that jump is very indicative of like something's wrong and uh, long again, long story short. Um, absolutely prostate cancer and uh, not subtle. I went through all the diagnostics and all that and uh, this is definitely like there's a lot like I don't I get to like formulate what I'm going to do with all this shit. Uh, but you know there's no right time to get cancer for sure. But like, definitely I was not in the headspace for because I was like the jeff that I see on facebook memories. Uh, this, uh like I'm like, oh god, that fucker's motivational and happy and like energetic. I'm like why couldn't that guy get cancer? I'm the guy that's like tired and just wants to sit on the couch and he's looking for purpose.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm like god damn I need a time machine right now I would be like I'm going to open up a YouTube channel on how to fight cancer. This guy right here is like I'm going to do a YouTube channel on the drawbacks of cancer. I got it. I was like fuck man, one more thing. I just took emotion out of it. I was like I hate losing Because of the 18 Delta thing thing. My love of fitness. I just went balls to the wall on. And because we live in a world of the internet, we can see a lot more. I I didn't go to peter attia. Uh, if you know who he is, he's okay.
Speaker 1:So, oh, yeah, my cert, yep okay, one of his books right there, yep, yep, I have it, um so my surgeon was actually on his show and, um, which is good, that's a.
Speaker 2:That's where I say social media is a good thing. You're like, oh shit, and I could see his talk and I could see his attitude. But then, because of the internet, I could actually go to these urology conferences, which are boring as shit unless you have, you know, prostate cancer or you're a urologist. Yeah, so I started stalking him because the internet, and I found that I found this and, um, yeah, so I use my 18 delta thing, my obsession with fitness, um, guys like us I don't know about you, but like we're professional patients you know, like the amount of injuries I've had, um, whether military induced, personal, like just personal, like just I don't, I don't sit idle, uh, and it comes at a cost. I've become a really good way to like examine, educate and I kind of I have like a routine now, like I know exactly what protein shakes I'm gonna drink when I have to cleanse for a colonize. Like I have a system. I should start a book or write a book on this. So, anyway, I got the surgery in chicago the day before sept, september 11th this year. The doctor's name I'll plug him because any vet that has a chance or way to do his name Dr Schaefer, northwestern Medicine Hunter Seven saved my ass to help me get out there and work with him.
Speaker 2:Basically, they cut it all out. Thank God they caught it just before. This is a little too deep. This is actually where I want to actually do something and I definitely know you'll appreciate this is I want to facilitate something where, um, guys like us this is this almost goes back to the mental health thing with, especially in our community where it was like do it but don't talk about it when it's like why does it matter? Like why is it such a non, why is it such a weird thing to talk about? Like I wish dudes would talk more about prostate cancer. I'm sure everybody talks about that after they get it, but as an 18 delta, I didn't care like before. I've always been like, I've always like been okay with medicine and gross stuff, but it's so weird that it's it's such a non-disgusting um. So I'm like I wish more people just like check this shit and it's, it's free and all that. I just went all I have like nine soap boxes. I just tried to step on right there and I fell off of all of them, got it cut out. Uh, there is on, there is.
Speaker 2:It's not as much of a um, uh to cut to the chase here. It's not as easy as oh, it's cut out. You're Um, and this is where I'm like a little pissy. It's almost like my whole like chase your dreams thing where I want to like I don't want to discourage people but I also want people to realize some of the realities. Like there's some like not good fallout as far as that should go away. You know, it's not like the movies where it's like, oh, and fast forward two hours in the movie and he's cancer free. Like there's some bullshit that just fucking infuriates me daily. Um, technically cancer free, steel deal.
Speaker 2:And so this was in september. Someone yeah, I think thursday was eight weeks um, still dealing with a lot of the fallout. It's ironic. This is like a cancer. You go in asymptomatic and guys like us, it's like you want to like if you're gonna go get bed bound after a surgery or be like hospitalized, you want to go in with a lymph daily holding on this thing. You go in. You're like I feel great, I'd lost all this weight, I was in super great shape again and I was feeling great and I came out just like like I got hit by a truck, like this is the worst surgery I've yeah, I was like why did I come in here?
Speaker 2:you made me worse dog shit like I always reference give me the cancer back. That's what I said I referenced, when I broke my back and had spine surgery, I was like this is the worst surgery I've ever had and spine surgery was pretty damn bad. And uh, the fallout is, is there's not a guy on the planet? It'd be like, hmm, this one disease that I don't know I have, or all this fallout with the parts of my body I value the most.
Speaker 2:I'll take that disease thing like no dude, whether you're a man, whore or a very dedicated family man wants to fuck with that area and I think that's what comes with, like the whole prostate cancer thing and it is a weird little like don't look, it doesn't exist thing, uh, but it's. It's definitely something to catch sooner than later, for sure, because, uh, poor dad didn't, and like they have to put him on testosterone blockers so he's essentially chemically castrated. So I mean he's basically on male menopause, chemically and fighting cancer. So that's the long story, because obviously I'm really passionate about it. I'm technically good, still recovering. I might have just blown a um, uh, damned uh, yesterday.
Speaker 2:Um tore my abdominal wall yeah, it's like the only thing I have not in a depressing way, like I mean this motivationally guys like us I definitely know this is something you and a lot of people in your, your realm will relate to like I still value not because because I think I'm awesome, like I can't run for shit, but I still value my, whether it's CrossFit or Jim Jones or bodybuilding or whatever. Go rock rocking that two hours of my day is the only thing I still to this day, whether I don't have a purpose or not. And then so that is critical for me. I might have been pushing the other day. I'm like, oh fuck my, my organs are coming out of my, my abs, yeah I was like maybe we work on the mind and spirit pillars.
Speaker 1:The body, body needs to take a chill I don't need it got betty.
Speaker 2:Glad betty not here.
Speaker 1:You'd hear her like off upstairs going I agree you can't, you, yeah, yeah, man, you gotta when, when the body needs to recover, you gotta work on the mind and do it and I, I would and it makes you.
Speaker 2:That's one of the things that is.
Speaker 1:It makes you I never had it, and and when I fell the fuck apart, I didn't have any fucking pillars when I brilliant, got on the the backside and built everything back up. It was like fucking voltron. Captain, planet, power rangers, whatever it is it's it's you form those little robots of mind, body and spirit and then they transform you into that full voltron robot.
Speaker 2:Take that analogy, because I hate when people like agree in an ideal situation or like you know, or like they come from a place of ideals. So, like you know, they. They mean well, but it doesn't feel as relatable. So I'm actually agreeing with you because I'm not with you on that. I know on paper what you're saying is right and so I I 100 agree that because I, because I'm at the other side of it going, it took my body and it's out of commission for a while and now, like you said, I am exposed with the body and the mind and spirit and those weren't in check. To be clear, I'm safe, I'm not. There's no in our community. There's a huge thing and I actually say this to a lot of people. When I check in with Hunter7 and everything, understandably, that's one of the first things I say I'm like, I'm safe, I'm in this headspace, but I am safe.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with that brother, there's nothing wrong with it, but because you have quite a platform.
Speaker 2:I want to make sure people are knocking on my door and putting me on fire.
Speaker 1:Watch now, hey don people yes, I will be in jeff's house this week luckily that that's that.
Speaker 2:That's never been in my head space in christ. But like, yeah, like you're 100 right, is it you are? Life will find a way to make you evaluate those. It'll. It'll take something from you and uh, luckily I've always had two out of three firing, and then that that inertia thing happened and then the body shit hook. I'm like no, all I had was my body.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you motherfucker I was so proud I wasn't wetting my pants at night.
Speaker 2:That's all I asked for, and it circles right back, man, another full circle yeah if you're not peeing your pants, you're not part of the operator syndrome I was like, at least when I was peeing my pants under a firefight it was cool. Now I'm like doing it in shame in the gym.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now they can prescribe UCL. It's not just for getting boners, but so you don't piss your pants. It's a gift that keeps on giving folks. If you didn't know about that, talk to your doctor today.
Speaker 2:Definitely I I've learned a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, dude, there's no shame in it, and everybody finds their way into building those and, like I said, it was extremely humbling to go to a place where you can't be trusted to have shoelaces to be escorted everywhere.
Speaker 1:You go to sit down with a provider multiple times. But what I learned in that experience and all those years ago at laurel ridge is that there is a beauty in having to rebuild, because then you're back at square one and there you can. You don't have anybody else influencing that and I am grateful for those painful, horrible lessons and and if you're listening and you need that little bit of hope, common humanity. Whatever you're going through, there's people like me, people like jeff, tons of brothers and sisters out there that are going through this right now or have been through it, and I can empathize with you. I can sit there and I'll climb down into that hole and sit there and not say like oh that looks bad.
Speaker 1:No, that's shitty. No, no, I can say, yeah, it is shitty and I am here for you. I, I can tell you and and it's not to put the silver lining, because that's the worst thing you need to hear oh, it's gonna get better. No, it's. Yeah, it sucks right now. A hundred percent know that this sucks and this is painful. And on the counter side, you are somebody that has been through worse. You have fought tooth and nail and other points.
Speaker 2:Hey, jeff's gonna make it through this like cancer's not gonna be.
Speaker 1:The. The end note like this is just a momentary take a knee situation and we're in a shitty draw and we're having to do a map check. But we realized that the map, yeah, got left. Yeah, three draws back and right now it's just a fucking place of suck. It's just what do you do when you're in that draw.
Speaker 2:What do you?
Speaker 1:do when you're just sucking yourself. You just just like you just laugh, you laugh and you take it, take a knee for that moment then, you're like, all right, I'm gonna have to go back and find that map and it just just know you're not alone brother like betty has a cool thing that she said betty's my uh, better I.
Speaker 2:I said, call her pre-fiance, which is basically means a guy that hasn't proposed. I'm not saying that for comedy.
Speaker 2:I literally call her that because being 46 and saying girlfriend feels like creepy, sounds creepy, but she says something very similar, like when that you with you're not alone. Like she, she needs to and I am kissing her ass here, but I genuinely mean this Like she needs to work with like a hundred, seven or anybody that does like the allostatic load thing, like her headspace. She's very much our mindset with this clinical, ruthless partner headspace. Like I just ranked on the two people that what's his name? The husband and wife that run Task Force or not Task Force.
Speaker 1:Yes, tom and Jen Satterley. Thank you. Look at that Weaponized autism Just synced.
Speaker 2:I will just say one of those syllables and you'll read my mind, but she has a very Jen Satterley-like, ruthless partner headspace and one of the things she said in the spirit of You're Not Alone and I'm saying this to you too, everybody listening also and it speaks to guys like us, especially when sometimes you don't want to hear it from or it seems like well, no shit Hearing it from you, you got it. Or hearing it from another buddy of mine that you know, it's like well, you better duh. But when you hear it from, like your partner, your family, it seems slightly disconnected because it's like you don't know man. But one thing Betty says, because she doesn't know you know, like she bought that book Operator Syndrome and she loved that book and that kind of opened her up a little bit. But she says something like you said, when you're climbing in that hole. She has this great thing that I think a lot of people or partners or spouses or whatever that should adapt.
Speaker 2:Here's my little shitty advice of the day is uh, she goes. She's so much more eloquent about it, but like if somebody has a knife stuck in their head and and or if I have a knife stuck in my head this is obviously a metaphor and she goes, she'll come up to me and she goes okay, I have an idea how to take it out, or you just want me to sit there and you complain about the knife in your head. She goes I'll either one just tell me which one, but either way, I'm with you for it, because all too often people like I have an idea how to take the knife out of it. I, I have an idea I need to leave the fucking knife alone, but it's on us to go. Hey, actually I'll take some advice to get this knife out of my head, but either way, the thing she said, like being in the hole with me or others in this scenario, is I think that's a cool nuance that eddie's fun to it of a I'm in the hole with you and I have ideas, or I'll just sit here in silence. You know, and I think that's a huge thing that you know people like the satterleys whether it's test, you know all these name dropping things I'll say is I think there's a huge uh good push.
Speaker 2:Some, you know, for unfortunately, for some I definitely know you can relate to this for some it's too late, you know, in the most, yeah, sad sense, um, but I think it's uh, like you said 20 years. Now, you know, the things have come to roost and a lot of people like if I'm experiencing an eight of what my peers that were in for 20 years, like if that's all they live, eat and breathe and have known since they're 18 fuck, you know, I'm like holy shit, like oh, dude, you know, there's just days. I'm just like so that was. Yeah, I don't know if I just had to polish that turd on that comment hell yeah, man, you polish, your way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry, this was a very I don't know, maybe I'm adhd, but I could I could talk to you for hours, man, this is authentic, real and uh, no dude, it's an absolute pleasure, man.
Speaker 1:Um, people need to understand that we go through life. The way we go through life. It doesn't happen in a, b and c blocks, and your journey right now is something that we all need to understand. Like you said it perfectly, like I had something that I was going through that was chasing right as I transitioned. But now I'm going through that transition, yeah, going through this and this is where where jeff can reflect back and this is what the whole podcast is is being able to highlight these stories in every aspect of it the good, bad, the indifferent be, because you never know who's going to reach out and say, hey, yeah, I got a resource for jeff. I'd love jeff to come do x, y and z.
Speaker 1:Or hey, jeff, gave me great insight into something I'm going through, like your story and your vulnerability with your own process, can help somebody today or tomorrow, that's the beauty of this medium man, People can pick this episode up and then help you down the road.
Speaker 2:I really think that's a huge thing when I try to be more I don't know a little bit. I say hippie-ish and I don't actually mean that derogatory, I actually just mean that less me, more hippie-ish All too often often not counting your show, but like other, all too often people aren't hit with like the reality, like and I think that really I don't have kids, but I think it really fucks up perception of what a success and a failure is, and I think that's up to platforms like yours. Or you know me and I'm in a better delivery system uh, like telling it like it is, like being like I don't want. If you constantly see, like, whether it's body dysmorphia on the internet or success dysmorphia, yeah, you're going like that's your standard. And until people start to go, you know like, oh fuck, I tried this and it fucking sucked. Or oh, I'm a drinker. Or you know like you're like, oh fuck, okay, there is a reality that's less perfect than what we're hit with, and I think, a loter. Or you know like you're like, oh fuck, okay, there is a reality that's less perfect than what we're hit with, and I think a lot more people need shows like yours and I I maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about being rude sometimes.
Speaker 2:So I think like more people need to kind of be less polished, I guess, and actually tell these, tell these truths, because fuck, like I, I can think of two green berets, I'm like jesus man, I I can't imagine the headspace they're in, you know, most of the time or some poor 18 year old kid that just did his two years and has, like my best friend I'm going off on nine tangents, I'll give you this one short, I promise.
Speaker 2:So my best, one of my best friends, was tora bora and that was like his experience was like the whole group, not ruby ridge, um, yeah, torabora, that whole uh scenario. So like he lived the short career at an 11 and that was like super effed up, understandably, and it's like your brain can't, can't handle that, you know, especially if you're young. So, like you said, yeah, the young people, or whatever, like especially younger generations that are being bombarded with the internet ideal, you know, ideal scenario, internet, yeah, you know, they're like I think it's more susceptible, ironically, for people to be more scared to be out about this stuff because, ironically, the stuff that's out there polishes everything's great, you know, and so like people are more apt to be like oh I'm, I'm an anomaly, or, or mental health or weakness is an anomaly, when in reality it's like fuck. When are these two things going to communicate at the same time?
Speaker 1:you know so anyway yeah, cut my mic off, man, oh yeah, man, yeah, fuck no, your battery.
Speaker 2:Your battery taking a shit was on purpose.
Speaker 1:This is unfiltered jeff, all, all day, all day, every day. I'm gonna set up this whole base with these pretty blue lights.
Speaker 2:You're going to give me for three fucking hours.
Speaker 1:I'm under contract. God damn it.
Speaker 2:I bought these fancy batteries, so I didn't have to run cables, and we're going to use them until they die.
Speaker 1:Jeff Bosley. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for being here, brother I um, I cannot wait to hear about the rest of your recovery. Please take some time off from working out so you can heal, and I can't wait to have you back on the show to talk about the next phase, next chapter in your journey, man, I know it's going to be great. Um, once again, if people want to get a hold of you or follow along in your journey, I claimed. On every find you, I claimed on every platform.
Speaker 2:The Jeff Bosley. I figured the least narcissistic handle I could find was the Jeff Bosley.
Speaker 1:Nice. Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Go to the episode description. Follow Jeff on his journey and to all y'all tuning in and listening, thank you for tuning in, thank you for being here and until we see you next time. Please take care of each other and yourself. If you like what we're doing and you enjoying the show, don't forget to share us. Like us, subscribe.
