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#209 Terry Wilson: Life after Special Forces
What happens when you grow up with no safety net and overcome daunting challenges to reach the pinnacle of military service? Terry Wilson shares his incredible journey from a tough upbringing in St. Louis to becoming a member of the Special Forces. He dispels the myth that military heroes have had it easy, and instead, reveals how his difficult background fueled his relentless drive to succeed. Along the way, we discuss how the challenges and struggles faced by many military personnel are often the very things that propel them to greatness.
Owning a business in today's digital landscape comes with its own set of trials. We explore the necessity of social media for authentic marketing and the power of sharing both success and failure to genuinely connect with an audience. Through personal reflections on past trauma and the pressures of maintaining stability, we highlight the resilience required to overcome adversity. Wilson's transition from a challenging childhood to a demanding military career underscores pivotal moments of personal growth and transformation.
Rebuilding after hardship demands more than physical strength; it requires a focus on mental health, self-care, fitness, and healthy eating. In this episode, we discuss the importance of recognizing red flags like anger and anxiety, and the need for early intervention and support systems. The conversation extends to post-military entrepreneurship, emphasizing the value of time over money, and the critical role of mentorship and community involvement. Hear how accountability and support can lead to rapid, significant changes, particularly for veterans striving to rebuild their lives.
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Produced by Security Halt Media
Hey, how's it going? Dispose of enemy personnel to kill period with my attrition.
Speaker 1:Hey wilson, welcome to security out podcast brother.
Speaker 2:Hey how's it going?
Speaker 1:pleasure to have you on. Uh I. I think it's important to show authentic transition stories. Um, nowadays, everything can get put to that filter of it's perfect, it's amazing, I'm succeeding, but that's not often the case for us.
Speaker 1:Oftentimes, as we know the science has proven it, the data's out there You're going to struggle and oftentimes it starts while you're in uniform. And I say it all the time the hardest fucking job on an ODA is a team sergeant who then has to move into the sergeant major. You don't get a fucking break, and a lot of dudes struggle, struggle and they can't show it and they can't be honest and they can't say that they need to take a knee. And something that you're doing a great job of at highlighting is your story, the things you struggled with, and we're all human brothers. So today I want to take it back from the beginning, take it all the way back to where it started. Um, we tend to think that Green Berets are these heroes, like John Wayne and Rambo, but oftentimes there's a story of struggle and it starts at childhood, brother, and I'd like for you to tell us where it all began. Man, tell us how.
Speaker 2:Terry started out. Oh yeah, so you know, it's kind of funny, you don't know kind of where, like your, how you lived, until, like, you start talking to other people. It's kind of funny, like you don't know kind of where, like your, how you lived, until, like, you start talking to other people Like it's normal. Right, your childhood is your childhood and it sounds normal because that's your. Around, whatever your you know, community, neighborhood, it's just that's how you grew up. So you figure that's how everybody grew up up. So you figure that's how everybody grew up. You know, yeah, I don't think I really realized like how different kind of my lifestyle was and my childhood was until you joined the military. You start talking to other guys and they're like what?
Speaker 1:you know you don't eat struggle sandwiches.
Speaker 2:No, yeah yeah, yeah, um. So that's kind of where the nickname trailer kind of stuck right off the bat pretty quick, pretty early on Telling some old childhood stories, you know. So In reference to the trailer park, yeah, in reference to the trailer park yeah, Trailer gang yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:But I think people like join the military, you know, think a lot of midwest, midwest come in you know, uh, suburban, and then you get the inner city where it's kind of like you know you don't really have any other choice, like that's kind of like I said that's your get out of jail free card. You know, yeah, and that's kind of. You know, I came from a little bit of both. So I was, uh, grew up in St Louis so came from the Midwest, had a lot of the you know, that kind of patriotic background, but also had the street life. So you know, it was a little bit of both. Right, so like hey, I want to serve my country, but I also want to provide for my family and I want to get them out of the situation that they were in. So so that's kind of where my story started, you know.
Speaker 1:No, so a lot of people don't realize that it's. It's often the kids coming from really difficult environments that have that post-traumatic growth that achieve monumental success in the military. I've met more of those like myself and like you, that made it at the top of the top, that rose to the very top and it's like, yeah, dude, I had no other option. It was either this or jail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Like when you don't have that, you don't have that safety net, and then other people are relying on you. Like it ups the stakes. You know what I mean. It's like you have to succeed, like there's no, there's not a different course of action to take. Like you're like this, is it? There's no safety net, there's nobody there to protect me if I jack up. You know, yeah, so so that's just the way it is, man, did you?
Speaker 2:come in as an 18 x-ray or no, I came in as a uh, I was in regular army first, so get my time in regular army. And then september. So I got to my unit, september 11th of 2000, and then the towers hit one year later and then we deployed to iraq. I know we reported the guitar first, yeah, and then we're there for like uh, 11 months or so and uh, uh, but no, I mean, you're pulling security on five Right and I'm just like, hmm, came back and then deployed again. This time we went to Iraq but we were kind of attached to like an SF and ODA and I'm like, and these guys are running the gun in. I'm like, man, this is it, that's what I want to do, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's the same story for so many of us like that first time you see dudes down range and they uh, they're actually able to affect the combat environment, actually do things. It's like, fuck this, I don't want to be a fucking fob. What mos were you?
Speaker 2:I was. I was an mp man before I went. No shit, yeah that hit for a long time yeah 95.
Speaker 1:Bravo back in the day.
Speaker 2:Now it's something different. I think it was a 95. Bravo, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yep, yep, I got all the way through the Q course.
Speaker 2:I got through selection and even the Q course, SUT, and none of my cadre knew what MOS I was until like at the end. And they asked and they're like you're an MP. And now they're like I thought you were infantry. And I'm like, nah, but arts and math, man, I know how to play the game quick and early.
Speaker 1:That's a shameful secret so many of us carry. I too started out my career as a young NP man. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's no harm. But the reality of it is, man, you get in there right off the bat, you're meeting guys or whatever, and you're not necessarily like. Guys are like, oh, you're meeting guys or whatever, and you're not necessarily like, um, guys are like, oh, you're the dude that said, rest another, like you know, if you win, like all the bullshit. I'm like, no, that's not the case, man. But like when I came in before september 11th, um, it was before the war. So like I had the opportunity to go infantry, they gave me option for underwater welding and other things, and I'm just like I'm a kid off the streets and I'm kind of already like, uh, very adrenaline junkie, kind of look, and I'm like, bro, nobody's, we're not in war. Like what am I doing the infantry? I'm like I'm gonna go clean my weapon and then train, but I'm never gonna do anything.
Speaker 1:I'm like it's a pretty shitty kind of way to think about it, but I was like man, I go to mp I might be able to shoot somebody like that was my thought process state cycle yeah exactly, yeah, like, oh man, I might be able to get some action if I go into the mp, you know so it's so funny.
Speaker 1:I was, I was a kid in the guard and um, I was like, well, I can start serving while I'm in high school. Fuck, yeah, this sounds cool. Yeah, I'll make rank, I'll get college money. Hey, the money for college, you have to pay that up front oh yeah and just take kicks in some money but. I had the same process. I was like man, you know, I could do something, I could be a cop, and it's like dude, you.
Speaker 2:You are so far removed from real law enforcement, oh yeah yeah, I think it depends on where you get stationed at too. Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's the military in general. Like you get one mos and think you're gonna do one thing and go somewhere and you're like man, this is not what I thought, but the other somebody else can deploy, or, you know, go somewhere and have a totally different experience, you know yeah yeah, I was a private.
Speaker 2:They put me in a uh, an mp car. It a private like right off right out there. You know what I mean. So I went and I was doing law enforcement shit.
Speaker 1:On the street man.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you, when I showed up, it was almost kind of like it was funny, because it was almost like this is before Super Troopers. It was like Super Troopers. So I show up, right, I'm a private, and then you know, they're showing me like hey, this is what you develop in SOPs and everything. And another patrol car shows up. These two kids were in civilian clothes, but they were also MPs in the unit. They were drinking in civilian clothes, drinking, and I'm just like what is going on here, man? I'm just like this is going on here, man. I'm just like this, this is not. This is not what I expected, you know.
Speaker 1:It's such a it's such a weird world man. I remember one of the kids that I went through MPE school and and and and basic training with. I ended up seeing him like years later Now I'm a Green Beret in Honduras and it was just like like holy shit, I am so glad I went to selection like this dude was still like an e4.
Speaker 1:I'm like this is, this has been decades oh yeah, yeah, like, what are you doing with your life? I think, oh gosh, yeah, it was one of those things were like thank god, you had a path for me yeah, I think in the conventional like in the regular, you know we say conventional army, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I remember. So I was an e6 but I got to the unit and I was, you know, came in as an e1 and then there was e5s that I made the e6 before they made from e5 e6. Holy shit in the unit. You know what I mean and I'm just like, and that was kind of the E6 before they made from E5, e6. Holy shit In the unit. You know what I mean and I'm just like, and that was kind of the time where, like, as long as you showed up right place, right time, right uniform and you could do PT and you already beat 99.9% of the unit population. Yeah, and if you give a shit, forget it. Like you know what I mean, you have a little bit of intelligence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's over it's such a weird like the the old, start your uniform, spit, shine your boots like people joke on it, but it it really like if you were just that little, if you just had that much discipline, oh yeah, just skyrocket, it doesn't yeah, it doesn't now.
Speaker 2:I think that's back then and people were still pretty tough and whatever. Like nowadays it doesn't take. What is that? Joe Rowe, who is it? I don't care, was it Rogan says that, or Dana White or something. I think it's like half a set, like you're just half a savage right now. Yeah, I mean, you can crush for anything, you know. So it's like, well, if you're not going to do anything, then you really don't have anything to stand on to do it's.
Speaker 1:It's that mentorship that's missing right now from individuals like like us. Yeah, the best have been gone for 20 plus years oh yeah deployments, taking it to our enemies, and there's really there hasn't been. Individuals are willing, like you see it now, and it's it's prevalent on social media. People are advocating for like discomfort, being willing to do hard work, and it's like there's the other camp, that there's people that really literally say like no, it's all about comfort.
Speaker 2:Don't do hard things, it's like what literally say like, no, it's all about comfort, oh, don't do hard things, like what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's kind of almost that mindset you kind of got to get through. First, you know, because like, uh, one thing you know obviously, going to the digital age, this is something like a whole way outside of my comfort level. Right, yeah, you know. And then, uh, but the reality of it is, man is, you look at some of this stuff and you're like you can marginalize somebody else as what they're doing because they're giving out information online.
Speaker 2:And you're like, well, what qualifications does that person have? And I'm like, well, you know, that person may be the manager of a McDonald's, right, and how many people are not had any leadership experience or not? So that person who's a manager mcdonald's, there's still a population for that person to where they can help them out. You know what I mean, but we really want to quickly to show, oh, I got more experience in that person, I got more than that, what you know what I mean. And you're like he's not talking to you, so just pass on by. Then like, exactly, go by, bud. And then, yeah, you relate to somebody that is talking to you.
Speaker 2:How tough has it been for you transitioning, coming into the space and harnessing that tool set? Because I mean it's difficult for, for one, being generation X and being SF, right, it's. You know, I only had social media because my kids, so I would just kind of keep an eye on them a little bit. Or like, originally, when Facebook came out, I was on social media just to like keep it up, you know, deployed seeing what the family was doing, and like that was the easiest way to post pictures and kind of see what they were doing, you know, yeah, instead of having to send it to you. So, but I've never been in a team, so I aren't being like no, no phones in the team room. Like not because you didn't have to, because guys are on the phones like messing around. I'm like no, we got shit to do, like you know what I mean. So like trying to do that. Now you're like listen, man, if you try to, if you're owning a business, there's no more commercials. Yeah, that doesn't exist. Like people don't watch TV and watch commercial, right, so if you have a product or a service to sell, that's the only place you can get it off on. Yeah, is through social media, right, I mean, that's how you do it. Right, you do it right now.
Speaker 2:On top of that is if you want to advocate for something or you want to be like, hey, listen, help people out, like you have to be willing to get outside of your comfort zone and tell your story and kind of talk about things that work, that didn't work for you. You know, one thing I see like on social media which I don't like and that's why I kind of came out, is they tell all the pretty everything they did to be successful, right, but they don't tell the lessons learned like they don't tell like, hey, this is what I did. That really hindered me, like this is what I did, and not like I didn't get here where I am because I just went all the time, like you know what I mean, and like that's the one thing that kind of really really like bothered me when I look at the, the social media space, it's all, everything's perfect. Do this with me, because I'm so great.
Speaker 2:If you tell them you're so great, you're the last person I'm going to work with, because because I don't know if you've ever failed, like I don't know, like where you're, can you take a punch? Can you, can you get back up whenever you're you know what I mean? Like no, that's just, that's just me. So that's why I was like, well, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna be real, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put it all out there and like, hey, these, these are, these are struggles that I had, you know, and then, um, and go from there, man, and that's that's absolutely what.
Speaker 1:Um, I think it's important. I want to ask you now, like, when did things like? I know, in my journey, like I know that nexus point where it's like, okay, that's the, that's the moment in time where everything fell, fell apart. When you look back and reflect, yeah, when, what was that critical moment? When did things fall apart for terry? Because we didn't see, that's the one thing, like and and and the audience doesn't know this, but, um, we actually serve in the same company. You were our company star major, yeah, and we, I know I didn't see it, yeah, like I didn't see, like, and you, you came into work and it was like all day, every day, but when did things finally like catch up to you?
Speaker 2:yeah. So like that's the thing about it, man, I think a lot of 18 series, sf guys or even high achievers you know all together, no matter where it is. It's like you can put, especially with this, anytime this any person who's dealt with trauma before knows exactly what I say whenever you can put up a face and you can get through, right, so you pull up this false thing, like, hey, I got everything squared away, right. And then, depending on the people who knew me before, right, knew there's a difference, a little bit of difference, right. But the guys that didn't know me before are kind of like okay, well, this is who I am. So this is kind of like okay, dude, still split away. He does what he's supposed to be doing. You know what I mean. So you see it right.
Speaker 2:Um, so for me, um, you know, through growing up as a kid, you know a lot of I've lived on the street, so you kind of learned you already start kind of hardening your heart, like I was in and out of moving around a lot. Um, in and out of homeless shelters as a kid. You know my mother dealt with, you know, addiction my father was. You know he came in and out of the picture at times, you know. But they were separated, so you know nothing against them too, because they dealt with their own demons. I'm a hundred percent, I have no qualms over that. It just you know. It's just they were trying to do with the best they could with what they had, and that's just the way I grew up, you know. So, so, from there coming into the military, right, got married young, you know, had kids, and then now you have people counting on you, right, and then, but it was always for a long time, it's one thing, that next right. So it's one mission next right. So, okay, I'm going to the military. Okay, now I got to focus on this. Right. So any issues or concerns you have, you just kind of pack them away, all right, hey, right, now you're done with military now. Okay, now you know I want to go SF, all right, so that's my next, you know, mountain to climb, so I go do that Right, come back. You got a deployment Right, back and forth, one deployment to the next deployment.
Speaker 2:I would say the initial time were, guess the biggest traumatic is like uh, some of the I get the fights and everything. As a kid that was one thing like the always on being on guard and that you know I've had some close calls, I would say, um, where you know I was probably doing some things outside of that where it could have got me in some trouble, right, yeah, uh, but in the military, you know, we were in um helmand province and you know the initial kind of troops in contact where I thought I was a tough kid and I was like, oh shit, like these people are really trying to kill me, like this is real. You know what I mean. Yeah, when you get those close, those really close calls, you know that's kind of the first kind of I would say like, oh shit, this is real. No, but then you know, after you get that first initial portion of it, like you start enjoying the Adrenaline rush. Adrenaline rush, I mean this is the ultimate game and it sounds weird to say it but it is.
Speaker 2:You know, like all the small details that you have to do, you know the relationships you have to build and cultivate to be successful in combat operations is you'll never keep, you never regenerate that anywhere, you know. So, um, I really enjoyed it, I love doing it, you know, but it did take a toll because, like, at that point, to get through it, you kind of, I mean, you harden your heart, you know, and you get through this, like like hey, this is the guy I need to be to survive, and that back then, that was, I mean, we're running and gunning back and forth, like you know. You know banging and saying it like they said, you know, I mean, like it was, it was, it was some rough, rough trips, you know, and uh, but it was one after another. Come back, you know, try to deal with some family things and deploy again. Come back. You know, uh, go go tdy somewhere, go to school, come back, you know, try to deal with some family things and deploy again. Come back, you know, uh, go go tdy somewhere, go to school, come back.
Speaker 2:You're on an issue. You're constantly pushing off any of this issues that you have for the next mission set right, and then you surround your purpose and your identity as being a green beret, realizing that that is all going to collapse in one day. Right so, but so I was running gun pretty good, and then, you know, I did my team start time and then I got picked up, um, or I got, uh, you know, was able to compete for the first start position over first special forces command, right? So, um, I ended up getting that. So you know, I went over there as a geo bachelor, so that was one thing. You come off the team and now you're going to another leadership position, to where it's not the same as the team life, but you have another mission to do, right, you know it's so you don't have that buffer of those 12 guys that you know like.
Speaker 2:No, you don't have that buffer of those 12 guys that you know, like, no, you don't have that buffer, but you're still moving forward, right? Yeah, you know, and that's why the one thing, like I always said, like whenever guys have a hard time, you know they come off an ODA and they go to one of the S shops and they never get to go back. You know what I mean. Like those guys, you'll see those guys fall off. At least they have some support. But a lot of times, sometimes, that support is negative because they want to. You know, leadership wants to go. Oh, what the hell? You know what I mean. Or one or two things Either they coddle them and they don't help them, don't help them out at all, because they have no testable fortitude to let them know hey, man, like you're getting fat.
Speaker 1:Like you're what's wrong.
Speaker 2:There's signs there, man, like let me help you out, what's going on, or they do the opposite. And now they just like judge them and like, oh, this dude, he was operated at one point at a high, very high level and now he's not. And you don't think there's something going on there? Come on, man, you know what I mean. So you know those guys represent or hit that a lot sooner than what the guys that are retiring that are keep on moving. So I did my first sergeant time, geo-batched the whole time there. So that was not I would never advise that but came back and then did my, got picked up for sergeant major while I was there, came back, did the group S3 sergeant major for a little bit, for an interim, before I took the company. And then, you know, for me, whenever it fell apart is whenever Jacob. So I was coming in as a company star major and I don't think I'd met the company yet. Yeah, you know, covid was just starting and y'all just got back from a pretty bad deployment yourself and uh, and then I got the call that you know my son was in a motorcycle accident and then, um man, it just it started spiraling out of from there Like so the company never really got to see like my whole thought process, kind of just my perspective, changed in my uh.
Speaker 2:That's when things are really kind of starting to unravel for me. You know, everything that I dealt, that's when it, that's when it started. That's when everything that I have kind of put aside for years is like like coming to a head. You know, then I start looking back on like man, all that time I was gone. You know 24 years of service gone. The first 20 years I was gone for almost 11 years of it and I'm like you can't get that time back. So now you lost. You lost a child, and now you start looking at man like how good of a father I was gone so much like all that that I missed.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean the, the hardness that I brought back and that my family had to deal with, like you know what I mean and you really start kind of really the guy that you thought like you were this hard charging, like this warrior mindset and it helped me survive. But it didn't help me, it wasn't enough to get me through this next phase of my life. You know, that's when it started kind of unraveling. You know um having a hard time Now, once I retired, that's whenever it just went, or once I came out of position. Let's say, once I came out of position is whenever, you know, everything just started like really going down for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's that's the key thing that I always like tell guys. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when, and it's oftentimes the time where you you walk out of the team room for the last time or you walk out of the company for the last time, and it's just like everything hits but you had a monumental challenge to deal with, like losing a brother in arms. Losing a brother in arms, losing a brother in combat that's one thing. I don't know that pain of losing your son, and so many of us cannot understand that. What were some of the things you were actually able to utilize to help that process, help that grief? Because that is something that I know, that there's plenty of our brothers that are suffering through that, whether it's a child or a close relative, a spouse. Those are things that are happening to us that we need resources, we need to understand. What can we do to fight this enemy?
Speaker 2:So there's things that we do as a GB that makes us very effective, right, and we're able, I think, probably able to compartmentalize a lot of stuff, right, so you learn how to deal with death, you learn how to deal with killing, right, it's, it's part of the lifestyle, it's like something you're like, hey, like you understand, you know, yeah, this here was something that, like, ripped me to my core and I did not know how to deal with it, right, so I, you know, for years I've kind of compartmentalized it and just understood that, hey, we go to combat something happens to me or something happens to you. It's understandable that we know that that is something that could happen. Right, so we understand that you're going to have to take life. That's something that you're, you know, some of of us do it don't have an issue with it. Some of us, you know it bothers them later on in life, you know, um, so, but this changed like how I didn't know how to grieve, like I didn't even know what to, like, how to get around it, you know. And then, like, so we came to, I came back to work. It was like a week after, like from the time of the accident to the time we went back to work was almost a week, yeah, right. So that was like not even two or three days after the funeral. We had to plan the funeral two or three days after the funeral.
Speaker 2:Like we're back at work because I didn't, we didn't know what to do. Like I didn't know how to handle it, you know. And then you know you have to. You know I. You know I talk to people sometimes too and they're like man, I don't know how'd you do it. You know how'd you get past it. My wife, my other kids like you know what I mean. Like you're the man, like you cannot, you have to. What other options do you have If you don't decide to get past it? If you don't, I wouldn't say, get past it, if you don't decide to move forward, then what? What are you doing for your family? What are you doing for your kids that are going through the same issues and problems and they're dealing with this? Like you know, there's, there's no other choice. You know you got to be there for them no-transcript.
Speaker 2:I'm at the point that the older I get, the more development that I do is for other people, not for myself. Yeah, because if I if my cup's full, then I can give more to somebody else, right. But like SF, you're taught like selfless service or just in the military, selfless service, selfless service, which is great, and I do believe in selfless service. But if you're always giving, giving, giving and you're empty, you're not as effective, you can't help as much you know. So for me, I just had to rebuild, you know, and I probably went way too far, too long before I started getting issues.
Speaker 2:I would say, anytime you start seeing some of those red flags in your life, the sooner you can start implementing ways to fix them and get in a consistent routine and get help, then the better you're going to be off in the long run. Because if not, the longer you wait instead of you know if I would have probably took some more time. You know I don't know the long run, because if not, the longer you wait instead of you know if I would have probably took some more time. You know, I don't know what the right answer was for me. My journey was my journey, but if I wouldn't have took as long as I did then, you know, um, maybe I could have came out of it a lot sooner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what were some of those red flags.
Speaker 1:What were some of the things?
Speaker 2:looking back, Red flags for I would say right off the bat is, especially, I would say, for SF guys is your fitness level right? Like your fitness level, at one point you're physically fit. Once you stop going to the gym and start work, stop working out. That adds to so many other problems. Like you know what I mean. Like mean, like you, you know people look at fitness is like it's a pill, it's a pillar.
Speaker 2:It is my body and spirit, everything, so it has to have, you have to. You have to do that eating healthy, right, because your fitness isn't good now you're eating a bunch of garbage and processed food and that's just not going to make you feel any better, you know. So, like that, those things overeating, um, not eating healthy, you know. Or, if you don't know how to eat healthy, find out how to eat healthy. You know. Not working out, uh, drinking, just uh drinking, or anyone doing just to like, you know, get past anything like those are red flags. Uh, anger you're not dealing with your anger and you're frustrated huge red flag, you know. Um, if you're, if you're feeling anxious or on edge all the time, you dread flag you don't have any peace huge red flag. You know all these things. You know if, uh, you're not leading your household and you're fighting with your wife and your kids huge red flags, like all. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And yeah, one thing that we don't talk about is men that we ate. We can now identify, looking back, is the emotional eating. Yeah, man, everybody that is struggling. That where we knew that was struggling, that was the first thing we saw. Yeah, and you called it out. You said earlier the S3 guys. You know, the first thing you see is the weight gain.
Speaker 1:The first thing you see is the, because you go there's complete type of work schedule but guys fall into this pit of despair and you see some guys that that lean on alcohol and food to comfort food, yep, and it's like, oh, he's a piece of shit horrible.
Speaker 1:And it's like well, maybe he's struggling through something like, and it's not about shaming somebody's, about just simply saying like hey, man, like you know, you can overdo with food, you can overdo with the sweets, you can overdo with the sweets, you can do it with anything, but it's that sense of comfort. You just got removed from your team, you got removed from a place that you love being, or you got an injury and you moved down to another, to a support section. So it's like oftentimes we want to reach for that, that mean spirit, and be like and hit him with that heavy hand. Or you can identify like, okay, this guy's going through something, yeah, that heavy hand. Or you can identify like, okay, this guy's going through something, yeah, maybe he needs a workout plan, maybe he needs some support. That's something that, like it's crucial to look at, especially when you retire. We identify all these other things but, like you're right, what about nutrition?
Speaker 2:And how did you figure that piece out for yourself? So for me. So I started off. You know, I went back to kind of obviously I'm in a dark place and I'm trying to figure all right, how do I get myself out of this? Right Marriage is on the rocks. You know, uh, always frustrated, always angry. You know, like somebody cuts me off and I'm like ready to run my car.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:I'm just like I'm, I'm like man, this is not like where I want to be, you know. So I just started getting back to where I knew you know and uh, you know nsf and as the teams are, and like a bravo, like I really focused on pt. I thought pt is huge, right, I think you know, before going to combat, that's the one thing that you can kind of harness on a team is like I want to see how you react under some distress, right, you can do it physically and mentally, right. So you know, how do you, when you squeeze them, do they crumble or do they think, you know, and like that's how you have to sweat together, together. You gotta do hard things together and before combat, that's the only way you can do it. You know what I mean. It's too hard training and physical fitness so, uh, so that's why I went back towards original, I went back towards physical fitness and then I went very, you know, through sf time.
Speaker 2:You know I was always performance based. Like as long as I could perform, I really did. I mean, I probably ate maybe a good 50% of the time, maybe 50, 50, you know. You know probably whole foods. You know good whole foods, and then you know, processed foods or whatever. And then, um, once I started retiring, man, I started cutting out a shit ton of processed foods, you know. And I'm like, uh, my goal there was to get off some of the medication. Right, I was like, man, I want to get off the medication. You know, I, I want to try to fix this. You know, yeah, this right.
Speaker 2:So, um, I had always done, you know I do hormone optimization, right. So because for me, um, like your hormones, like having your hormones on a natural level, like taking all of the TBI, the high cortisone levels of being in stress for a long, long period of time does a huge toll on your hormones. So, like, especially guys in our community, like you can see that, like, a lot of them have really, really low testosterone and that's not great, that's not good. So then started eating healthy, working out hormone optimization and then just reading, trying to better myself, went to marriage counseling and I was talking to my wife. I'm like, hey, you need to go to counseling, I need to go to counseling. So, whatever the talk, therapy or whatever it is, um, and started doing that.
Speaker 2:And then, um, you know, that's kind of where anything that I could do to like better myself a little bit is where I I started gravitating towards. I'm like, okay, I'm getting this figured out all right now. What about this? Because I haven't fixed this. You know what I mean? I mean, you know. And then with my son, where I was like, hey, listen, you know. So you know, I grew up um in church, always said hey, I was a Christian, but it was kind of like one foot in, one foot out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a lot of us.
Speaker 2:Yeah and so, so I was bettering myself and I was like, hey, man, man, this is, this is working, and but I still couldn't find peace, like you know what I mean. Like, ok, so I'm eating healthy, I'm coming off the medication, I'm going to, you know, talk therapy. You know I'll talk about that, on what I think about the therapist thing, whatever too. But and then we're going to marriage counseling. But, and then we're going to marriage counseling, but I still have this like anger in this, like you know, like this saltiness, this, you know, borderline hate, not understanding people.
Speaker 2:And so it was, it was bothering me, man. So I told my son I'm like, hey, let's, let's try to find a church to go to. You know, we're on time. We went to like every church, bunch of different churches. And then I'm the kind of guy where, like, I'm going to the church, especially when you're trying to do something, but you're, you're maybe not sure that you want to like, you're, you're making excuses on why you don't like this church. Yeah right, yep, like man, that preacher's driving off a nice car for being you know what I mean, like you know what am I, I'm here, is this my you know?
Speaker 2:is this like? What kind of concert is this? Like you know what I mean. Like you know what am I, I'm here, is this, you know? Is this like? What kind of concert is this? Like you know what I mean, like you know.
Speaker 2:So you're like questioning all this stuff, man, and you forget, like it's easy to judge on the outside, coming in, but church is made up of humans who are all sinners. And you're sitting there and you're like sitting there and you're thinking like this, these people are supposed to be perfect man, man, like so it's not, it's not the reality of it. Like you know what I mean. So, like you know, but we're very quick to like judge that right. So I'm just like all right, so, uh, then I'm like, hey, man, start going all in, started reading scripture and then started going to church and then started getting involved in small groups. And then, you know, you start you know, I used to read stoicism, you know quite a little bit, right, yeah, and you start looking at scripture and you're like scripture came out way before stoicism and it's really, it's really, there's a lot of it.
Speaker 2:That is, that translates over and I'm like, you know, and then you start like actually going to script and you start living by it, you know, and you start seeing a lot of things in my life that started like automatically fixing itself. You, yeah, you know. So I'm like, all right, I'm going all in here, you know, and, uh, it really changed it. You know, it was the. It was the only place that I've ever been able to get where I've been able to find some peace and it's a mind, body and spirit oh yeah, you have.
Speaker 2:You have to have a, you know. You know you can't just do one of them like. You have to figure out a way where you know, because one's going to fix one but it's not necessarily going to fix the other, you know, and you have to figure out like, okay, what, what does this look like? For me, and majority of us it's, you know. The mind and body are pretty, and majority of us it's, you know. The mind and body are pretty easy. I think people will say, hey, now the spirit one is the one where you get controversial Cause, like people are thinking, well, this way or this way or whatever. Um, but the mind and body are pretty easy and personally, in my opinion, it's a spirit one. It's like, especially being like 18 series guy, like you don't want to give up control, right, so I'm like okay, I'm gonna go to this, this, you know, and I'm gonna give up control to christ like man I don't know.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure you know what I mean, absolutely yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I'm ready for that. You know, you know so, but like um changed my life, changed my family's life, it was just so yeah, it's, it's one thing.
Speaker 1:And you, you you said it perfectly, man, we don't want to give up control. Yeah, we don't want to just say like, okay, I'm gonna pray on it, yeah, fuck that, I'm gonna take action in it. Yeah, yeah, exactly, you can't there's some things.
Speaker 2:There's some things in this world, yeah, that you cannot control yeah, you know, and I think a lot of people get this false perception of like you can take action right, yeah, but like you still can pray on it and take action right, and then you can still like at the end of the day, but you have to give up control to like, okay, I'm going to take action because, like, I've been given these gifts to do these things. But they may succeed, it may not succeed, and if it doesn't, hey, you know. I mean like, just keep moving forward. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like so, but and I think that, on this side of your journey, on this side of your, your, your healing, I think it makes perfect sense for what you're doing now. Yeah, absolutely makes perfect, fucking sense it's. You've been a leader your entire military career. Yeah, you've been a mentor, a coach, your entire military career. But how did you finally come to terms with the idea of, like, you know what I'm? I'm going to lean into this entrepreneurial track. I'm not going to be a contractor. I'm not going to work for a defense tech agency. I'm going to lean into this entrepreneurial track. I'm not going to be a contractor. I'm not going to work for a defense tech agency. I'm going to go into this a hundred percent, like on my own, and chart this course by myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so for me, you know, um, so I was kind of back and forth, right Cause obviously you come out and you're like, okay, what am I going to do next? You know what's my next? You know, you know, and for me my time is my most valuable resource. Like you, start realizing your time is more important than the money and assets you have, right, um, and I learned that, I learned it the hard way, right, and uh, you know, when Jake passed away, I'm just like you can't get that time back, you know.
Speaker 2:And so for me, you know, I was, you know, me and my wife were talking like, hey, what am I going to do next from here? You know, we talked about the. You know, I was like, oh, hey, what if I do the coaching, consulting, and then like, how does that look? Yeah, if I wanted to do that, how does that look? You know, because originally I was trying to do a consulting portion of it and like trying to go to companies and try to get you know business, whatever. But everybody wants to hire you, right, and I'm like I don't want to be hired to work for someone else to get you know, like I don't want to do that, right, I want my own time, like so, like now, you know, the only way to do that is kind of going through like the digital realm. Like you have to go through the digital, digital, digital marketplace to do that. You know, and I'm looking around, I'm trying to find people that are actually doing this, that are successful, so I can have like some kind of business model, kind of proof of concept of how it's working.
Speaker 2:You know, and then, um, so I'm finding some different places or whatever. And then, um, you know, I fly out, do a, you know, and try to see kind of what, how they're doing things, how they're doing social media. You know, um, that kind of that kind of stuff there too, what's successful and what's what's not. You know, just kind of trying to figure it out. You know, and then, uh, and then just kind of growing that portion, you know, yeah, because that's the one thing. Like now we live in a timeframe. It doesn't matter how much experience you have, it matters how many. You know how much you've been on social media for Exactly.
Speaker 1:For me, I've been on zero, yeah.
Speaker 2:So like it started from, like ground zero, you know, yeah. And then unfortunately I didn't take a whole lot of cool guy pictures whenever I was active too, you know I got a little bit that's so many of us oh yeah
Speaker 1:it was. It's one of those things where it there were people that did and everybody shit on them and right, and I've got good friends that made amazing videos, amazing pictures, and it's like's like, oh, fuck that dude. Oh yeah, but you know what? He has that for the rest of his life. Yeah, he will be able to share that with his kids. He will be able to share that with his family, and now looking at all of us to have maybe like three or four, it's like fuck, yeah, but it was one of those things. I don't think there's a team sergeant out there who you could be, you could fault for making those decisions, because, hey, I don't need you taking pictures and, dude, I got, I got my fucking ass handed to me for, yeah, for taking videos. I'm a cool 18. Bravo on deployment yeah guess what?
Speaker 1:motherfucker? Go clean the fucking guns. Yeah, get to work. And it's like man, my buddy on that team's taking photos. Yeah, it's like you got work to do, man, but it's it's. It's one of those things where, like, hey, like you, you did it, but now you have more powerful, you still have the experience, you still have the ability, like, this is where I'm from, this is what I did. Yeah, fucking into Afghanistan's already not even relevant. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:But it's, it's the individual and the ability to look at where, like, you put content out there that shows that, look, I am not bullshitting you. I've been through the absolute fucking worst. I turned it around and so can you. Yeah, for, for our age group, I don't need fitness advice from a 20-year-old. I don't want that body, I don't need that body. I need the fitness advice and the nutritional advice from somebody from my age that has been where I'm at, has been in that position of like, hey, look, it can quickly go off the rails, you can quickly get overburdened and you can focus on your mind and your spirit, and then you neglect your body and that, hey, if you need to turn it around, you can. Here's how and that's what I see from your platform, which is and it's exactly why I reached out like hey, I need a coach, because we say every Green Beret, every soft professional professional says I can do this on my own. Yeah, I got a gym out back.
Speaker 2:Well, can you? Yeah, I couldn't. The thing about it is so. This is the thing about it is. This is where I've like looked at and I kind of changed my mindset on like coaches or mentors or whatever is most green berets can get there, yeah, how long it going to take you to get there Right, and how much knowledge you need to like acquire before you get there, is the question Right, and a lot of things that we did prior coming up what we thought was the right way, like I learned. Now it's like nah, you made it harder than what it is and didn't get the same results as what I do now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, arm farm every day at the gym.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Total habit of overtraining, you know. And then you get older and you're like man, I don't have that much time, like I only want to put 30, 45 minutes in the gym during the day. And I'm like telling you like I'm at 7.6% and I work half as hard as what I did whenever I was, you know, overweight and I was eating like shit and I was overtraining and I was like tearing my body up, you know, and I'm like you don't have to do that. You know there's a smarter way to do that. So, you know, when you do like a coach or a mentorship, it's like all right, so if I can, if it's going to take me two years to find this information out, but I can get it in 90 days for someone else, to me time is money and to me that makes more sense. I'm going to pay somebody to do that so that I don't have to do guesswork and try something out. Is it not working? And then like okay, I just put three, four months into working out and eating and I'm not seeing the results that I want. And then now I have to start over. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the same thing I said, like if there's a 24-year-old kid that has digital marketing that I want to know, and he is some nerd. He has zero life experience, but I want to learn that from him. Yeah, I'm going to pay him and he's going to teach me and I'm going to sit in a chair and I'm going to take notes. Yes, right, that's what the humility comes into. Right, because you had to realize that it's like it doesn't matter what you know and how much experience you have. It's like does this person have something that I want that he can give me in a shorter amount of time to where I don't have to work with it? Right, it's like there's that fine line, too, on right, you know this is.
Speaker 2:You know I want to help provide for my family for this right, because, so there is a um, uh, you know, a financial freedom from doing this right, right, so there, and then you're like and I've tried to help guys out, and if I had millions of dollars, I could not do this for free and it would be effective. Yeah, because everybody that I've tried to help out, that I've tried to like help square them away, has fell off because you have to have some kind of intrinsic like, like you place the value on it right and if there's not some kind you know we're not in the military anymore to where, like you can do you know retraining, like there, you can make somebody's life difficult. You can give them that kind of pain. So the only thing you can really give somebody is the financial pain to where it's like OK, this is going to cost. So now I'm going to do what this guy says, because I want to see the results that I paid for.
Speaker 1:There's got to be a buy-in. You have to be able to put your money in.
Speaker 2:You have to be able to, you know. So like, and that's the thing about it, though, too, is this kind of, you know, especially when, because I want to help people, right, so that's the hardest part for me, right, and just like you know, and I've kind of walked through that and I'm like all right, so I've kind of dipped my toes in both of those realms or whatever. And, uh, because veterans, man, we are sometimes the most like we can hate, more than any other group that's out there at times.
Speaker 1:Bro, right before other group that's out there at times. Bro, right before, right before we got on, I checked my facebook, yeah, and which is like the one I don't post anything. Everything is like cross-posted form for my feed. But I checked my personal and I checked one of those groups, one of those, the, the, the soft brother groups, and I looked at the thread. It was just the worst.
Speaker 1:No hating, just hating on people and it's like you have no idea what that does to you first thing in the morning when you it was just the worst Hating, just hating on people. And it's like you have no idea what that does to you first thing in the morning when you put that much hate and negativity into anything Like fuck dude, if you're listening to this, first thing you should do in the morning should not be jump on a thread hating on somebody.
Speaker 2:Yes, like I get it, man. I get it because, like you, when you put in the military and you put a hundred percent something in right, and then you can't get over that grief and trauma because of what you put in, there's a lot of bitterness and there's a lot of hatred and there's a lot of whatever. And I'm like like, oh, I did more than this guy. Why is this guy at 1.5 million viewers or why this guy, you know, didn't do shit? You know he's talking about X, y and Z, right, and there's a lot of fucking, there's a lot of hate there, right. But I mean, I'm just telling you, like you wouldn't be the person that you are without that military experience. And then you can't hate on something where you sign a dot, like for me. You know how I got rid of it. I'm like I signed on the dotted line saying I'm gonna do this every time I re-enlisted. I signed right 90, some percent of those deployments that I went on I volunteered for. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:it was like yeah I'm looking for the next deployment. You know like, hey, do you want to be a? You know you want to compete for this position. Yes, I want to speak for the fuck, yeah, every hardship that I did was just as self-inflicted as it was. Yeah. So, like you have to be, like you know, I did that and for me I wouldn't be at the situation that well, I'd probably be in prison right now or dead if I did not go the route that I did in the military.
Speaker 1:It's so true for so many of us.
Speaker 2:And I know my family is even the hardship and the sacrifice that they had to make that generationally. That I know that my grandkids are better off now than what they would have been is if I would not have went the way that they did now my kids are better off than even all the struggles and the things that I had to learn.
Speaker 2:They're way better off than even all the struggles and the things that I had to learn. They're way better off now. And once you can realize that, let that monkey off your back. Then you can not get up and hate other veterans for, like, trying to do something, yeah, to help other veterans or to help other other people, yeah I don't like them, then scroll past it, man, exactly you have a choice.
Speaker 1:You have a choice in what puts what comes on your feed. Yeah, and then then the beauty of it, too, is choosing what you reflect on. Yes, like everybody, everybody that's served at some point can look well for a majority. Everybody can look back to a positive interaction, somebody they mentored, something great that they achieved. Reflect on that. Yeah, and I get it. It's hard with the way Afghanistan ended. You're constantly bombarded with taliban parading their military equipment. Who cares? You didn't have a choice and I didn't have a choice, and how it ended. But you can reflect on the good, you can reflect on the people you impacted, even if it was just one time, one moment. Focus on that good man. Yeah, I think it's so much better for us and we need to hear more of that, and and just choose not to engage the negativity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you have to Because if not, man, it'll make you mean salty hate. You're going to hate everything. Yeah, like so. For a long time, man, I one of the things that I I didn't take off the news, so I had, like, the news apps. I deleted my news apps because I would watch them, because I gave a shit what was going on. Yeah, so like, I'd watch the news and I just get pissed off. You know, I'd be like well, policies, all this liberal bullshit, and I just like I got to the point where it just made me so jaded I had to delete it because I'm like, man, this is just not healthy for me. I mean, I'm not saying like don't do anything about it, and there's like like things you can do to help people out, you know, but do things that are on the positive to help people out, but you just complaining about something doesn't help shit out yeah get involved in local community, get involved with your local government.
Speaker 1:I, I have, uh, the ability to reach out to people on a platform to share positive stuff. You can do it too if you want to be of service. Again, there's a million ways to do it, yeah, um, and some of it can be financially, uh, you know, lucrative. Like you can be of service, like right now being coaching and mentoring somebody, and it you can make money off it. Yeah, and I'm not saying that's the only motivation, yeah, but I'm saying, like, somebody out there needs and wants your mentorship and your guidance and if you scale it right, if you build the right model, you can get support from it as well, because guess what? It benefits the person that you're helping. Just like we said, like if there's, if there isn't a buy in, somebody is just going to fall off.
Speaker 1:But when they know like, hey, all right, he's worth this, this coaching is worth it. Like, then they're going to be involved, they're going to wake up, they're going to do the workout, they're going to check in. Then, before you know it, you're changing lives. It's, it's I'm sure you've already seen it with some of the people that you work with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like, it's like crazy man, cause a lot of these dudes are, have already been, high performers and high achievers. You know, like all the every, almost all of my clientele have always have already been.
Speaker 2:like majority of them were either in the military, were sf for, were high achievers at one point and it was kind of it fell off right something has happened in their life where they've had some issues and they're trying to like rebuild and, um, like that is just like being able to like see how fast like they can turn it around. It's just, it's, it's, it's, it's amazing, you know, um, but a lot of the mindset, you know a lot of it's just accountability, is keeping helping guys that, hey, how you doing, like, how's the workout, how's your hunger? Like you know what I mean, like I do leadership, one-on-one coaching. But a lot of the guys that I have now like don't really need that, depending on what they're trying to achieve, you know. So, but, yeah, the fitness and the health, it's it's, it's it's big changes, really easy, real quick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, man, I can't thank you enough for coming on here and sharing your journey, brother. Yeah, for sure. If, um, if people want to get in touch and they want to be part of your you know movement, they want to be involved, they want to hire you, how can we get in touch with you?
Speaker 2:So right now I have a website, but then mainly I've just been using Instagram, so it would be under my full name through.
Speaker 1:Instagram. We'll put that on the episode description. If you're looking for a coach, if you're looking to get out of your rut, if you're a veteran, if you're a soft professional and you've transitioned recently, I can tell you right now that Terry has not only amazing insight into what you're going through, but he's got a proven pathway to success when it comes to getting yourself back into that fitness regimen. Go check out his Instagram, hit him up, and I'm telling you I'm one of his customers, I believe in the program and it's simply being able to reach out and have somebody that's not only been in the fight that you're going through, but somebody that understands what you're going through. There's nothing like having that soft support from a proven Green Beret that knows what he's doing when it comes to fitness and knows what he's doing with nutrition.
Speaker 1:So, whether it's getting back into a gym routine or getting rid of a shitty habit of eating horrible food, terry's got you. So please hit him up on Instagram when this episode comes out. You'll see his links on the episode description and you'll see us. I'll be tagging on all the reels. So, terry, thank you so much for what you're doing. Brother, thank you for being vulnerable. Before I let you go. What are some other things that you recommend? As far as staying on the proven track record of eating good and focused on your fitness?
Speaker 2:I mean it's consistency, right there it is.
Speaker 2:Consistency is huge, even if you're like I feel bad. Listen, do you have a budget on how you pay your finances and how much you use for? You know, for week to week, right, you probably have an allowance and this is what I'm budgeting. But you do that same thing with your food. People are like, oh, you're crazy and I'm like no man, like that's.
Speaker 2:The one thing we miss is like the macros are what's going to decide your body physique. Is your macros right? Your calories are going to decide what your weight is. So you have to like know what your calorie intake is and you can go into like a deficit and lose body fat and then do it for however many weeks and then, once you're like this is getting a little bit too tough for me, then you go back and do a maintenance. You know what I mean. But then you're still tracking it. So I'm not losing weight or I'm not gaining fat or losing weight, but I'm eating comfortable for two to four weeks. But what happens is we go off the rails and we spend more than what we have and now we're in debt and you got a bunch of fat. You know what I mean. So, yeah, you can say it's consistency. Have a plan you know what I mean and and be on a program like if you, if you can do that, you'll be, you'll be totally fine on that realm hell yeah, dude.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for coming on today, brother. I cannot wait to see, uh, your presence grow on social media and see, have you back to talk about the other challenges that we face. There's identity, there's so much.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I am so happy and thrilled to see you kick an ass, man, and you're a testament to what all of us can achieve if we're willing to face that trauma and that identity piece and everything that we deal with on on the backside of it uh, head on, man. So thank you for what you're doing, man, if all you listening, thank you for tuning in and we'll see you all next time. So then, take care, if you like what we're doing and you enjoying the show, don't forget to share us, like us, subscribe, and remember we get through this together. Take care, you, thank you.
